i am no bird and no net ensnares me

lilith. she/her. lesbian. 30. jewish witch. disabled. former radfem. cat mother. learning to be happier.

[gothicroses]

about me:

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

my name is lilith

im 30

lesbian

goth

im currently getting my PhD in psychology

i live on the west coast

i have a cat named freya that's my baby

im jewish and practice witchcraft as well

im a former radfem. i was a radfem for basically my entire life but after a lot of self reflection and meeting people outside of the radfem bubble i was in i left. im much happier now and despite the backlash i receive ill never regret my decision.

to the trans community that i know i hurt im so deeply sorry.

last thing my ask box and messages are always open. im here to listen and help anyone especially ones that want to learn more my journey and maybe how to leave the radfem community themselves.

reminder: be gentle with yourself

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

[gothicroses]

hey im a trans person that's found your blog in passing. i wanted to extend my gratitude and respect for being open about being an ex radfem. i believe that people can always be open to change and while it doesnt reverse the harm caused (which im sure youre very well aware of lol, im not here to browbeat you about that) i also believe that being open and giving grace to people builds a stronger community. i just wanted to pass by to acknowledge the work it takes to come out from that ideology, and that it is impactful to see people that are able to come away from it and call out the harmful aspects of it openly. love from a fellow west coaster, hope you have an enjoyable day ❤️

thank you!

💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤💜

[gothicroses]

I feel like it's impossible to get with radfems to truly have a hatred for female abusers because they're female.

My mom was an alcoholic hoarder who abused me and when I was new to the community, I asked a member and she joked about my oppression being nothing to middle Eastern women (when I myself am Arab!!!) and everyone was praising her and talking how she they forgive their abusive mothers and hope I can heal with other women. It traumatized me for over a year.

What's weird is that if an mra used this same situation between women and men to justify male abusers, they would've gone insane. I get that society forces women to take blame all of the time but to infantilise women is certainly not the way to go and is grotesque.

im so sorry you had to go through that

all of my hugs to you

i wish more people not just terfs talked about the abuse women can cause. unfortunately terfs justify abuse if a woman does it

on a final note you will heal and you'll be okay 💜🖤

[gothicroses]

just a reminder

[lexbianrose]

Help a broke, homeless, disabled trans lesbian replace her broken phone and laptop

hey everybody, so while I've been living at the PT hospital, I've had a couple accidents with my electronics taking falls and they are on their last legs. if anyone would be able to spare anything to help me get them replaced it would be incredibly appreciated!

paypal.me/TruTransSoulRebel

cashapp: $lexirose91

venmo: @Alexis-Corder-1

EDIT MARCH 1: Holy shit we've got the laptop covered! now we just have to get a new cell and we're golden, adjusting the new goal to reflect that!

$0/800

[alexkablob]

Hello! Local trans woman has still not been able to find a new job after getting laid off despite hundreds of applications; I've run out of unemployment assistance, and I need help staying afloat. If you can afford to help me stay housed and make ends meet for another month, please send something my way.

Venmo: @Alex-Anderson-10272

Paypal: paypal.me/alexiskablob

$0/$2200

[deansfleurs]

my go fund for top surgery got deleted

im still looking to fund it but ill do without go fund me. if anyone can donate i need to raise 10k. every cent that is donated will go directly to my savings for top surgery. here's the apps i use

cashapp: $Avesross

PayPal: averyrossb

venmo: averyrossb

if you choose to donate thank you. it'll really help me. top surgery will help me be more comfortable in my body and feel great.

[gothicroses]

im beyond disgusted (if I see any radfems defending her ill knock their teeth in)

[cendaya]

Zendaya on whether ignorance is truly bliss

[gothicroses]

damn terfs aren't even hiding their racism anymore

[astarionconsort]

Radfem: "We are not white supremacist! Why did y'all keep calling us racist!" Also radfem

[sonicguillotine-deactivated2025]

Remembering how controversial it was to state that terfs were white supremacists a decade ago. Between the Australian my little Pony blogger Celestia openly coverting to white nationalism and this, feels like we were too soft in those condemnations in the past.

[tazmanian-cigarette]

It literally took multiple double takes to be sure this was a genuinely expressed opinion. And their fucking account is still live, too. Jesus.

[theinstagrahame]

Wild that the "we have selected a specific group of people to blindly hate" people have selected another, larger group of people to blindly hate. It's like they were practicing.

Also, surprising no one, the TERFs have once again adopted a deeply Conservative political position, and will spend the next several years claiming that they're the best kind of liberals, actually.

[darthbob88]

The movement built around "defining and protecting the white right kind of women" has decided that their enemies include the wrong colors kinds of cis women as well. What feminists they are.

[gothicroses]

I am an ex radfem (I used to call myself a TIRF) and I just want to say I started calling myself a radfem because of the definition according to google : any feminist who wants to radically restructure society without misogyny. I thought of course I was a radical feminist because I believe in systemic misogyny, and it lead me to interacting with horrible people because I didn't understand that everyone but me had a different definition of radfem. The google definition is super misleading (Also I was 14 at the time...yikes)

Love your blog also💚

🫂

proud of you anon! ❤️

[gothicroses]

Hey, I wish you all the best and I hope really good things happen to you in 2026. You are who you choose to be, and you've clearly done a lot of hard work and made sacrifices to make that happen. I also went through a radfem phase (in my case, it turned out I'm trans) and I get it. You achieved something incredibly difficult. I respect that a lot❤️

thank you sweetheart

i hope the same for you ❤️

[gothicroses]

Hey there I’m a newer radfem. I read your ex radfem tag and tbh I experienced the opposite. I was in the trans community for over a decade as an FTM. When I started interacting with trans women I just tbh experienced a lot of abuse from them and I interacted in very large communities both irl and online. I also realized I’m exclusively same sex attracted ( not attracted to trans women or cis men or anybody born with a penis + male socialized ). I have found that male patterns of oppression do exist even in the trans community towards female members. AMABs engaging in sexual violence against AFABs especially as sexual violence and misogyny goes. I’ve also been told to shut up repeatedly whenever I’ve brought the abuse I’ve experienced up and I’ve seen a lot of people get very mad at those who are same sex attracted.

I’m also concerned about some of the medical issues many of my trans and detrans friends have faced as a result of transition. A big one I see is pelvic pain and I know how debilitating that can be. I’m also worried about those who due to medical or access reasons can’t transition beyond social transition.

I care about my friends who are still trans. I care about issues presented by dysphoria. I’ve read a lot of queer and radfem literature but the radfem literature makes more sense to me after everything I’ve seen and experienced.

I don’t know, I just want to be able to talk about my experiences, but I also don’t want to hurt anybody but I don’t know if there’s a middle ground or synthesis so to speak that I can reach.

I would love some advice and your thoughts on this since you have been ex-radfem for a while, but if you don’t want to answer that’s completely okay too! I’m just really curious tbh.

anon i really mean this from the bottom of my heart. do not get sucked into the radfem community.

sure some of their points make sense but the vast majority are terrible. especially considering they're incredibly racist and call anyone who doesn't agree with them a misogynist or a man if they're more masculine presenting. they harass anyone they think is a man or a trans woman look at imane khelif

they sweep abuse from women under the rug and as someone who was horrifically abused by her ex girlfriend it's sickening to see.

most of them are stuck in their own victimhood that they don't acknowledge their own privilege. like yes we're woman but that doesn't mean we don't have forms of privilege like im white and have a home.

yes there are bad people in the trans community but that's in every single community. that's just life.

you also can't say you care about trans people and be part of a movement that hates them and wants them dead. that'd be like your mom saying she loves you while loving trump

yet it's your decision to stay in the community but i personally wouldn't.

best,

lilith

[gothicroses]

In my country, Radical feminists (also TERF ones) are the most active in criticizing Israel's war crimes and supporting Palestinian human rights. On the contrary, cis men who call themselves "femboys" are at the forefront of supporting Israel.

okay?

the point of this ask was what exactly anon?

[pinkpunkpie]

[akajustmerry]

Florence Welch will literally write albums upon albums of music about how she's always felt ostracised from femininity, that it feels for her like a performance she can't escape, and even give a whole interview about her upcoming album being inspired by how a pregnancy almost killed her and how coming to terms with this made her feel alienated from her body and gender..... And STILL the majority of her mainstream fans will still talk about her work like "omg yes divine feminine womanhood queen of fairy girls uwu". I really hate how so many ppl just don't actually listen to music or care about what it's about. The "fairy-ification" of artists like Florence Welch, Hoizer, Fiona Apple, Mitski, Tamino, Kate Bush, etc, all of whom create music that's rooted in specific social and cultural themes, but the complexity and artistic intention is often totally flattened into !!uwu fairy girlhood in the woods vibes!!! Truly hate this brain switched off vibes based era of music engagement.

[stillgotscars]

the old religion - florence + the machine