she has hate in her heart
right where he placed it
right from the start
Jules of Nature

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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@govviecheez
she has hate in her heart
right where he placed it
right from the start
I miss you
And the love we had
And the love we made
I want it back
Sweet nothings
In my ear
Quiet mornings
By the lake
But you were never there
With me on those days
You were thinking of her
In my dopamine quake
Afflicted
All of your afflictions
Stem from your addictions
Eating
Gaming
Smoking
Blaming
Judging
Shaming
Others for your pain
You pick one up
After the last one is junk
Then loop the cycle
All over again
When I say that I miss you
What I really want to say
Is
I will drown myself in the ocean
Just for a taste of your breeze
When I say that I love you
What I really really mean
Is
I will rip the pages out of my book
Just for a glimpse of your ease
When I say that I want you
What my body tells me
Is
My nights are yours sweet lover
My days are too if you please
When I say that I miss you
What I really want to say
Is
I will drown myself in the ocean
Just for a taste of your breeze
When I say that I love you
What I really really mean
Is
I will rip the pages out of my book
Just for a glimpse of your ease
When I say that I want you
What my body tells me
Is
My nights are yours sweet lover
My days are too if you please
The first step off of the ship is the hardest
The world as you know it
sways
like the lyrics of a song that won't leave your head
The training is all encompassing
For the
smartest
tightest
fittest
covers
For the sad ones
For the best lovers
The words roll off the
tongue
Dance in the ears of the loneliest others
Don't speak of what they show you
Just pass the virus on to the
brothers
i remember the beginning
i recall the love
bomb
splitting me open beautifully
now you hide behind
neon
nothingness to buffer
repentance for not showing
up
i am sorry i am vain
superficial
a spectacle of nothing
chaos is my middle name
i have lived in the shadows
with nothing much to claim
i have flown thru the gallows
cloak all aflame
i have heard things with my token
that would make you go insane
i have seen things left unspoken
i will take all of the blame
i’ll pull all my hair out before I ask for help
Or
admit i’m not okay
Or
believe the jargon that spills from your lips
Or
the saccharine words you always say
Or
try my best when my worst is whats pressed
Or
wait any longer for the warmth of your kiss
Or
begin again at the end of the world
Or
bear the strength of both our wrists
He is risen
Eternal damnation
Cross the street
At the biker bar
Hellfire bent on nothin’
Cept’ Jesus
Satan knockin’
At yer door
Sit round the table
Have a laugh in the pew
Fall down the capn’s hole
We’s all just a waitin’
Raised on music
Moody
Sultry
Loud
Dark rooms
Built the foundation
For a life of feeling
Gravity
Brevity
Goosebumps on skin
Curtains never reach the sun
Sacred knowing
Lyrics pound out the empty
Soundtrack of a life
Softly slowing
There is a sunspot in my eye
Where I used to see your image
A buzzing in my ear
Where your words once lived
A piece within my heart
That I no longer give
To vagabonds just passing through
Lost memories and wishes
You
It was always you
When you were just a dream
In my waking view
I would run to slumber
To see your face
To wake up feeling
Like I had found my place
In your arms
I long to be
Forever
All ways
It will forever be you
I will never let another
Devour my being
The way that you have
Guard down
Head up
No longer swimming
In a sea of quicksand
Heroin (e)
As the tourniquet tightens
The world loosens
Around a bulletproof vest
Of the blank nothing of righteousness
Floating across an endless sea
Vastness blackens the cacophony
Music restless in the soul
Counting coins for a golden deity
To display upon a dusty shelf
In a house empty of any war torn enemy
The tunes they sate an unending quest
I meet the hurdy gurdy man
On the shores of a dream
He has a pocketful of sand
Splintered bones for hands
He has a heart full of love
With no one to claim
He has a scroll full of words
A past with no name
Now he follows me around
A ghost with no home
He sleeps in my bed
So tenderly bound
If this is the beginning of the end
Let me lay once more
In the mahogany bend
Of your sleepy eyed gaze
Of your hands on my face
Adoring the angles
That I’ve always mistook
For egregious mistakes
All the others are fakes
No man before you
Had the courage to look
Through me like you do
She is our offering
Sad endings
Clipped wings
Hard beginnings
She is white light
Informal observations
Fungal blight
Whispering incantations
She is bird song
Red trillium
Caged long
Forever delirium