GRACESYLA

IN MY HEAD, IN MY MIND, THEN I WRITE

[gracesyla]

This is my life and to be more devastating to be resented by you and let my heart broken.

-TGD

[gracesyla]

When you hold my hand.

But tonight, when you hold my hands and looking into my eyes. I know that you are.

My heart won't stop beating fast. In my pray I said to God, I realize that I love you.

Seeing your tired soul. I wanna give you a warm hug. You are the answer from all prayers.

Touching your hair, listening your story. Can I make you happy?

I will throw my heart for you. Falling deep into oceans.

How far I go, I know I will go back to you. Back to your arms.

So please hold me forever.

[gracesyla]

January part 2

Malam itu hujan deras membasahi ibukota. Ku kirim sebuah pesan untukmu berhati-hati saat pulang. Ku tunggu hingga esok pagi tapi tak kunjung ada balasmu. Mungkin kamu lelah pikirku hingga tak sempat membaca pesanku.

Aku tidak bisa begini terus, gerutu pikiranku. Aku harus tau dia seperti apa dan siap menghadapi resikonya walaupun itu berarti aku harus melepasnya. Ku kirimkan kembali pesan padanya, memohon padanya untuk meluangkan waktu berbicara padaku. Namun, dia menghilang. Pesanku tidak lagi dibalasnya. Aku menderita karena dia diam. Tidak usah berjanji bila tidak mampu menepatinya. Janjimu tidak akan pernah hilang. Janjimu akan selalu ada disisiku. Aku benci kata-katamu. Pergi saja! Kembali ke dunia nyatamu. Usah memelukku lagi hingga pagi dengan suaramu.

Kamu hilang, ya hilang. Mungkin kali ini untuk selamanya.

Bisakah? Kamu mengucapkan beberapa kata perpisahan walau sepatah kata. Karena aku tidak bisa memelukmu lagi.

Sampai nanti sayangku.

[gracesyla]

January

Kita ketemu di awal bulan Januari. Bukan benar-benar bertemu dan bertatap mata. Melainkan berdialog dalam sebuah percakapan di dunia maya yang berujung saling mendengar suara satu sama lain. Ketika itu kamu membiarkan aku bercerita padahal itu saat jam kerjamu. Kamu dengan rutinitas pagimu. Sayup-sayup terdengar hiruk pikuk ruanganmu. Sesekali kamu membiarkan aku mendengar percakapanmu dengan rekan kantormu. Kemudian berulang kali aku memastikan apakah aku tidak mengganggumu, kamupun berkata tidak. Mungkin kamu tidak tau tapi dari situ aku belajar mempercayai setiap ucapanmu. Di akhir telp kamu pun menanyakan bagaimana agar kita saling berkomunikasi. Aku bilang nanti malam kita online okay.

Tak sabar menunggu malam, saat kamu tiba di rumah sepulang kerja. Percakapan kita pun terus mengalir. Kali ini kamu terdengar lebih santai, aku bisa mendengar suaramu dengan jelas. Dan aku suka. Aku jatuh cinta sama suaramu. Aneh memang tapi aku memang menyukainya. Aku lupa apa saja yang kita perbincangkan malam itu yang pasti kita mencoba saling mengetahui latar belakang masing-masing. Aku pun tahu dimana kamu tinggal, apa pekerjaan orang tuamu, berapa jumlah saudaramu, dimana kamu bekerja. Aku tak mau ini berakhir begitu saja. Ku beranikan diri memberikan nomer What’sApp ku padamu, padahal aku tidak pernah melakukan ini kepada orang asing di internet. Cukup gila dan berbahaya, tapi entahlah apa yang membuatku percaya padamu.

Memiliki nomermu saja ternyata tidak cukup. Aku tau aku bukan siapa-siapa, hanya teman untuk mengisi waktu luang saat kamu butuh tempat bercerita. Kamu tidak pernah menelponku, padahal aku rindu mendengar suaramu. Aku rindu obrolan kita. WA ku pun dibalas seadanya, sering tidak terbalas atau baru dibalas beberapa hari kemudian. Membuatku bertanya-tanya, apakah kamu sudah menikah sebenarnya dan takut ketahuan, atau kamu punya nomer WA lain. Entahlah. Tapi aku selalu menunggu balasan chatmu.

Kamu dan candaan recehmu yang selalu menyebalkan tapi membuatku senang. Merayuku dan membuatku tersenyum sendiri melihat handphone. Ku merasa diperhatikan walau hanya sebatas kata. Membuat melayang tapi harus jatuh kembali karena kamu tidak nyata buatku. Aku tidak pernah tau bagaimana bentuk rupamu. Ku pun mencoba mencarimu di berbagai social media, tapi tak kunjung ku temukan informasi tentangmu. Ku beranikan diri menanyakan IG mu tapi kamu bilang kamu tidak ada waktu bermain itu. Ku tanya kenapa tidak kamu panjang fotomu sendiri di profile picture WAmu, kamu jawab untuk apa, aku bukan orang yang eksis. Tapi aku ingin lihat kamu, kataku. Nanti akan ada saatnya kamu tau aku, katanya.

Tak terasa sudah dipertengahan Januari. Terasa sangat lama dan sendu bulan ini. Waktu itu aku menanyakan nama lengkapmu. Terdiri dari dua kata namamu, entah benar atau tidak karena aku tidak pernah menemukannya di Google. Sudah lama kita tidak bertegur sapa di udara. Terakhir saat kamu ketiduran karena menungguku pulang reunian dengan teman-teman SMAku. Padahal sudah aku bilang jika kamu mengantuk bilang saja. Tapi kamu tetap menungguku hingga akhirnya terlelap. Aku belum bisa tidur waktu itu dan tiba-tiba kamu membalas chatku. Tanpa perlu waktu lama, ku putuskan untuk langsung menelp subuh itu. Ku dengar suara bangun tidurmu sayup-sayup dan tidak jelas. Yang pasti saat itu kamu takut aku menilaimu sebagai pria mesum. Kamu bilang padaku, jangan tanya, aku mau tidur lagi. Aku diam dan mengakhiri pembicaraan kita. Dua hari lalu seperti biasa aku belum terlelap dan chat balasanmu pun masuk. Aku bilang aku belum bisa tidur. Rayumu aku belum bisa tidur karena menunggu pelukmu. Dasar gombal! Kamu bilang aku kangen kamu. Bagaimana aku bisa kangen denganmu kalau kamunya saja hilang-hilangan. Aku rindu obrolan kita itu saja, ujarku. Kamu engga kangen orangnya? katamu. Bagaimana ku bisa merindu pada sosok yang tak ku ketahui, kataku. Belum tau aja tapi kamu kangen, hayoo jujur, katanya. Engga! Ku alihkan dengan bilang, kita sudah lama tidak telpan. Akhirnya malam itu kamu menelpon aku. Kita berbincang sampai jam 3 subuh. Awalnya kita menentukan hingga sampai jam 2 saja kemudian kita tidur. Tapi sepertinya kita terlalu merindu hingga tak mampu menyudahi.

Kini aku mengerti kenapa kamu begitu. Kamu menjelaskan setiap batasan yang kami punya. Dan kamu tidak ingin kita melewati itu dan terlalu jauh. Namun ku rasa kamu sendiri yang tidak sanggup. Kamu bilang kamu nyaman sama aku dan tak pernah seperti ini dengan perempuan lain. Aku bingung aku harus bagaimana. Aku senang seperti memiliki pacar khayalan tapi aku harus kembali ke realita. Aku tidak tau kamu siapa. Aku bahkan tidak mengenal kamu. Tapi aku juga merasa nyaman sama kamu. Kenyataan bahwa kita berbeda itu lebih menyakitkan karena kita tau kita tidak pernah bisa saling memiliki. Walaupun subuh itu berulang kali kamu mengucapkan aku punya kamu dan kamu punya aku. Tapi hanya saat itu. Percayalah. Aku tak mau kamu berjanji karena aku takut kamu tidak bisa menepati atau aku takut aku kecewa. Kamu berjanji tidak akan hilang-hilang lagi, selalu ada buat aku. Padahal aku tau kamu tidak punya waktu untuk itu, untuk aku. Janjimu kita suatu hari nanti akan bertemu, kamu akan menjemputku pulang kerja, kemudian ke cafe yang ingin aku kunjungi lalu kamu mengantarkanku pulang. Saat aku bilang bagaimana saat ketemu orang tuaku, katamu ya ketemu saja.

Candamu suamiku kerja, bagian HRD. Konyol karena itu kerjaanmu. Ahh seandainya saja kita satu keyakinan. Ya seandainya saja hingga tidak akan serumit ini. Pagi itu kubiarkan kamu memelukku erat, mengecup wajahku. Mendengarkan suara nafasmu dan jantungmu, membuatku semakin tidak ingin terbangun dari semua ini. Tapi aku harus bangun. Setidaknya sampai aku tau kamu seutuhnya. Peluk aku dengan erat jangan lepas.

Aku rindu kamu tapi aku tidak ingin membiarkan kamu tau. Tapi aku tau, kamu tau aku merindumu. Aku tidak tau apakah kamu bersungguh-sungguh rindu padaku. Aku tidak tau. Jangan tanya aku!  Apa ini salah? Nyaman dengan orang yang tidak kamu kenal seperti apa. Aku takut. Semua ini berkecamuk dipikiranku saat ini.

[gracesyla]

KNOWING THE HISTORY OF DEPOK CITY

How, if I say culture is a part of our life? Don’t you agree about it? Why I can say culture is a part of our life? Because culture is formed in our social life since human lives together in a group. They beliefs about something, make custom, and have many things that they can give to their next generations. For example is your family name. Your father give to you, your sister and your brother a family name as sign that you’re all parts of family member. Culture is like that, as an inheritance it can’t be separated from us. Culture grows because we continue it from generations to generations and it can be extinct if we don’t keep it.

Now, I want to introduce you about Depok culture. I choose to talk about Depok culture because I’m from Depok city and I lived there for about ten years before I moved and also because I’m the only person in my class who come from Depok. Most people know about Depok city because this city is near the capital city Jakarta and Bogor city.

Talking about culture is not complete if we do not talk about the history because it is a unity. So, let me tell you the origin of the town Depok. A long time ago Depok was a small village in the middle of forest and then on May 18th 1696, an ex-functionary of VOC, Cornelis Chastelein bought land in Depok including the areas in South Jakarta, Ratujaya and Bojonggede. Chastelein employed one hundred and fifty workers from Sulawesi Island, Kalimantan, Bali, Betawi and another place in Indonesia. Besides managing plantation, he spread Christian religion too to his workers in Christian residence that is named De Eerste Protestante Organisatie van Christenen or people called it DEPOK. This is the origin of Depok name.

Before Chastelein passed away on June 28th 1714, he already prepared a testament and in his testament he wanted to liberate all workers and to every family head, he requested to use name as their family name. There are 12 names that Chastelein gave to his workers, the names are Soedira, Leander, Laurens, Jonathans, Loen, Tholense, Samuel, Joseph, Bacas, Jakob, Isakh, and Zadokh. Then the clan of Chastelein’s workers, we know it as “Belanda Depok”. Unfortunately, now the clan are only 11 because Zadokh clan is extinct.

In a row period development Depok experienced change over from small village now become a city. The proof estate of Netherlands period we can see at some old buildings in “Depok Lama” areas. Like at Jalan Pemuda, Jalan Kamboja and Jalan Margonda. We can see church building is now used by GPIB Immanuel and Harapan Hospital building as trace of administration building at Jalan Pemuda; the field and burial from Chastelein at Jalan Kamboja; and an old building at Jalan Margonda is now used as a café in Margo City Mall. Only the Kamboja burial is managed by Depok administration.

Depok is located between two cities that is why Depok has mix culture from Jakarta and West Java. As we know together, Depok is a part of West Java Province. Depok does not have special language because in daily life people use Indonesia and other language like Betawi, Java and many more, but as part of West Java Province all students at school must learn Sundanese language.

The famous original arts from Depok is Gong Si Bolong. Gong Si Bolong is an acculturation art from Sunda and Betawi. Musical instrument that is used in Gong Si Bolong is gong, gendang, bende, rehab, terompet, keromong and saron. The unique shape of gong is perforated in the middle of gong do not like normal gong that we know, it makes the sound of gong more high pitched.

The history of Gong Si Bolong is very unique. Once upon a time in 6th century some areas in Tanah Baru village is forest and swamp. The people who lived in Tanah Baru village always heard a sound of gamelan in the night, but people can’t find the source of that sound. It’s like a mistery for Tanah Baru citizen. Then, at 1648 a citizen from Ciganjur, his name is Mr. Jimin, found the source of that sound. That’s true, actually the sound is from musical instrument gamelan, but no one played that instrument.

Mr. Jimin found that Gong around Curug Agung area in the current Krukut river. He brought a gong with perforated with a punch in the middle with a gendang and bende. Then the third musical instrument called ‘Gledek’. Mr. Jimin gave the gong to Mr. Jerah the next generation as a legacy. In the hands of Mr. Jerah, gong is completed with kendang, saron and kromong, kedemung, kenong, terompet, bende, and the big gong. The art of Gong Si Bolong put a series of performance like Ajeng, Nayuban and Ngibing. Ajeng is special gamelan show from Depok. The booming of gamelan show from Depok is similar with gamelan show from Bali. Nayuban is special dance from Tanah Baru Depok. This dance is a source of Doger Karawang dance and Jaipong dance.

Strategies location makes Depok become bigger as a city. People around Indonesia visit Depok even they do not stay for a long time just for transit because Depok is near Jakarta. Depok expansion can make the original culture doesn’t exist if the young generation do not keep and continue it. We are as young generation need to keep the culture existance and continue it. Like our job together, we must protect our culture as Indonesian nation until another country grab it from us and said that is their own.

[gracesyla]

Eight Ways to Improve Youth Productivity

THE ROLE OF YOUTH IN BUILDING THE CHARACTER OF THE NATION

WHAT ARE WAYS TO IMPROVE YOUTH PRODUCTIVITY?

              “I’m from Indonesia”, I always said that when people from another country ask me where I’m from on chat. I’m proud to tell them about our country. Tell them how beautiful our country is and recommend some places that they must visit in Indonesia. Some people give me positive response like we are very friendly for tourist, so humble, and they would like to visit Indonesia again or they want to come here if they have an opportunity again. Oh yeah, they said too they  love Indonesia because Indonesia has sunny days almost all days all the years.

            For the fact, not for everybody give me a positive response about our country. They try to insult our country. Talking everything about our country they just want to make us feeling down as part of Indonesia. I can say I don’t care about that, but I know I can’t close my eyes and my ears not to see and hear what they said. I think as human, nobody is perfect without fault but we can change our condition for the better.

            Who can change the condition of our country? We are, as Indonesian. Every people can give support and contribution for our country. When we are kid until we are very old and we can not to do anything, I want to emphasize to young generations of our country that youth is kid (0 – 12 years old), teenage (13 – 20 years old), and adult (21 – 25 years old).

As a part of young generations, we have an important function to develop our country, Indonesia. We must continue the struggle from previous generation. Not just be an ordinary people who lives in this country. We must give contributions to build up our country. We can’t stay with old rules forever, we must make a change. I mean not all old rules we change but we can keep some rules as long as it is better and appropriate with our condition. In society young generations control the future of this country.

This country need good people with smart intelligence or idea, creative, innovative, and the important thing is having good aptitude and attitude. The people who have that parts, we can call productive people. That is what our country need, young generations with productivity. We can’t only be an ordinary people. We must be active and not be passive.

Productive means activity that can increase our utility as a person. We know some various kind of utility like utility of place, utility of time, utility of form, and utility of ownership or possession. Utility of place is where we can give a value. Example for utility of place is like a dirty room and then we clear it, so value for this room is increased. It is called Place Utility. Utility of time is when we can manage our time, preparing for the future. For example, like we stock our food for our need in a month. Utility of form is giving a value for an object. Example, a plastic bottle that can’t be reused, we can make in to creative handicraft, like a pencil case, vase, etc. Utility of ownership is when we have something and then we do not need that again so we give or sell it to another people who may need that.

Gilmore said, “Productive personality is individual who can give useful contribution for their environment.”

I agree with that. Not just giving contributions, a productive person must be creative, innovative, responsible and responsive in a relationship with another people. A person who is productive we can called mature in psychological aspect. The characteristic of mature individual is not depending on to another people, has a responsibility, objective, has stable emotional, sociable, and has religious conviction (believe in God).

The characteristic of non-productive individual only listen and do not want to give an idea. They can not say “no”, and prefer to say “yes”. They prefer to exploit another people for their own profit. They prefer all information that they have and they never want to share it. Sentimental as person, like to remember the past time. They know all information but they can’t express their idea. They would like to get payment for their services. Those who have unsteady self esteem, like to follow another people’s idea.

Then what we must do to be a young productive? We have a routine activity or habitual. Some good but some are bad habit. It is so difficult to change that habit. Here I want to give some solution to handle it. First, you must think inside of your mind and your heart that you really want to be a better person than before. Then you can improve yourselves. Being a young productive is not impossible. The important thing is you must change the bad habit.

This is some ways to improve youth productivity in our country. First, let us change our mind set. Try to love our country. Be thankful, think about how great is our God, He gave us this beautiful country. We can get the fresh air when we take a breath every morning when we wake up. As long as we see, we can see the green grass, trees, all kinds of flowers and it is so colourful. We have mountain, beach and sea. Not all countries have it too. How blessed we are we can live here. Don’t forget God. Indonesia recognizes the existence of one God in Pancasila and recognizes six religions. So as a religious man, show that we live according to the teachings of religion. Because religion is based on God and does not teach crime.

The second, we must be proud of our culture because that is our inheritance. Keep it for our next generations. Introduce our culture to the world, claim it before another country take it as their culture. Don’t think, everything is from another country is cool. Hey guys, STOP thinking like that! We have different culture, not all their culture we can accept. If you think smoking, using clothes that show your half body or naked, kissing in public area, speaking with another language and you do not understand what you said (the fault is when what you said is dirty words) is cool, guys I can say you are wrong. Please stop to follow that because that is bad. That is not ourselves as Indonesian.

The third, don’t watch so much TV. For some reasons, like entertainment and news it is good for us but watching so much TV can waste our time. Believe or not it can wash our brains. Not all TV programs show the fact or reality. They want to make us believe and follow what they say and show on TV program. We must be smart when we are watching TV. I suggest us to take TV program like educational channel, health channel, news channel, or anything as long as it shows about fact and reality. We can watch movie or another program but just for entertainment when we feel bored and need that.

Love and support our local product, it is the fourth. Don’t waste your money just for buying branded products from another country. Look at our local product. We have so much products with good quality and international standard. As you know, another country want to import our products for their country. If we want to develop our country, use our local product and be proud of it!

The fifth, open our mind. We must be updated with what is happening now. Keep reading is good for us because from reading we can know everything in this world. Now we live in technology period, we can get information not only from book or magazine. We can update information from gadget with internet support. We can browse what we need on internet. Like TV, internet is good but if we are not smart using it. It can take our beneficial time.

The sixth is instilled from childhood to love this country. We can give our contribution to this country since we are kid. For the example, as student, studying is one of our contribution. By studying we can increase our educational standard in this country. If we are smart we can build this country, show to another country we are not fool and we can develop our country better. As a worker, we can give our contribution by working hard. If we want to be identified with them, don’t be lazy!

The seventh is out from our comfort zone. If we feel comfortable in our safe zone. Please STOP! We cannot continue it, we must be out of our safe zone. Try to be better than that. Explore ourselves, what can we do. I think we do not want to live in bored situation forever. Look for the opportunity that come to us. Dare ourselves! If we are still in the same place, same situation, I believe we can’t develop ourselves as an adult person. It is the same like what we think as a child. I know not all of changes can be accepted by another people but, I believe as long as it is for the better future slowly but surely they will accept it.

This is point eight, think creatively. Guys, we are a young generations don’t think like old person. We must be fresh and have creative ideas. Explore ourselves and this country to get inspirations. If we are creative, everybody want to use us, but if we are not creative, nobody want to use us. So be a creative person!

That are eight ways to improve youth productivity in our country, Indonesia. If we can improve it, I believe our country can be stronger and better developed in young generations’ hand. The important thing is loving Indonesia because when we love this country, we can do anything for Indonesia.

I LOVE INDONESIA !!!

[gracesyla]

"You have to know what's right for you." #zedd #antonzaslavski #dj #musicproducer #edm #therealcost #antismoking #campaign #saynotocigarettes #healthy #lifestyle

[gracesyla]

Tuesday, August 12th 2014

02.35 AM

Still lying on my bed, try to search where is my phone. When I found, the first that I do is checking all my social media. No email, text messages, and notification on my facebook, bbm, and path. Next I open my Instagram to know how much the people who like my picture that I posted last night. Only 2 likes!!! Ahh I'm disappointed :( I'm curious who is like that picture.

"Ohh my God!!!" I'm shocked because the people who like my picture is @arkadizaslavski . As you know he is Anton Zaslavski brother :) #ZEDD . I can't believe that so I tried to click his name to going to Arkadi's Instagram. Check that is true Arkadi's Instagram profile and it's reeeeeally really Arkadi Zaslavski. I wrote a comment on my picture to say thank you because he's like my picture.

I'm happy and too excited :D I know that some peoples think it just a simple thing or maybe stupid thing so I must not to over. But if you were me I think you do what I do :)

I'm back to sleep again...

05.45 AM

I think that was a beautiful dream but its real.

My friend send me a bbm messages, I know that she is check my Instagram and wrote a comment on my picture. I can said she is becomes a fan of Arkadi Zaslavski since I show her some photos from Zedd with his family. She said, "Arkadi is handsome more than Anton."

I think they both looks awesome, cool, and amazing :) I'm so proud to they parent, Mr. and Mrs. Zaslavski because they have two talented boys. And know that Zedd is not smoke or drugs its like a good news. Very proud to them.

Doing my activity in a real life...