An awkward situation
I went through something recently and it’s rather hard for me to write this but I’m doing it anyways because I strongly believe in talking about an issue that is filled with a litany of myths.
A male coworker started at my work a while back and we’ve been getting to know each other, as coworkers do. One day he decided to grab my arm, another time compliment me on the dress I was wearing, and stroke my arm in front of others in a conversation.
I am extremely uncomfortable with this, but only because we are in the workplace. If this happened outside of work, I wouldn’t mind. But in a professional environment where touch can be considered anything but professional and as a woman, I could be seen as being an instigator because he is engaged and I am not.
I believe in upholding the highest standard of professional conduct and that includes not giving anyone reason to ever wonder if your actions could be misconstrued in another way.
When someone makes you feel uncomfortable, the onus is on that person to stop. You can only control your own actions. You cannot control his.
Yet, here were some of the responses I got when I reached out for support from my friends:
- this is what happens when you’re too friendly - you’re overthinking/overanalyzing the situation - he’s not hitting on you - he’s hitting on you - this is common in the workplace - check your own intentions - are you sure???
I faced disbelief, questioning, and a lot of accusations of being a person who just assumes someone likes her. Please note, I never said anything about like.
When these situations happen, it doesn’t matter whether you like him or if he likes you. Put that aside and the situation still remains. He made you feel uncomfortable because he was unprofessional and in doing so, put you in an awkward position. Now you have to respond to an awkward situation. That’s it.
I hope that if this happens to you (and I wish it never does), or if you see/hear it, I hope you can look beyond the myths that we somehow invite these things upon ourselves. That as a woman, I tempt guys by acting or dressing a certain way. That what we feel is somehow untrue or less or unreasonable. That by being a good coworker we are inviting discomfort or unwarranted behaviour. I wish that everyone I talked to about this was more understanding and encouraging because if they were, if everyone we ever talked to were as well, we’d see more reported cases of sexual harassment, of sexual assault, or of discrimination or harassment in general. It would mean that people would have the courage to speak up. This would mean more respect, more consideration, and more peace. I’d like some of that.















