boobies

I'm an un-bi-lievable attention seeking missile

[youmagnificentbeast]

they're husbands, your honour

[samd1o1]

My experience with queer media lately:

[thebootydiaries]

im such a possessive person i just saw someone calling Karl Marx just “Karl” like they’re on a first name basis and i got jealous

[bumbleturkey]

LITERALLY POSSESSIVE OVER DADDY COMMUNISM! I THINK HE WOULD UH HAVE A FEW THINGS TO SAY ABOUT THIS!

[thebootydiaries]

u know what . i wish i had never posted this

[firesuns-archive]

me staring into my dumbass dog’s giant sweet brown eyes as he tries to eat the hair tie off my wrist: if your head is so big then why are you still so stupid you big dumb boy? huh???

[firesuns-archive]

look at him! there’s nothing at all in this giant head! it’s filled with air and love!!!

[gentlemanhoneyfarmer]

[dark-waves]

[thenamesjavii]

When you find out your mom is a furry

[moshidreams]

CHOKED

[noseforahtwo]

As a chick married to an ex-cop, I say this all the time to people close to me, but it bears repeating here: No cop is your friend after you’ve been detained.

Get rear ended by a drunk at a red light? That cop will direct traffic around your vehicle, document the accident, sure. Call animal control on your piece of shit neighbor? You’ve got a pretty good chance the officer who shows up helps out in a meaningful way.

But after you’ve been arrested, when a police officer says, “Just be honest with me and I’ll do the same.” or the old “Help me and I’ll help you.” Politely ask for a lawyer. Shake your head. Ignore them. Pretend you’re Hollywood royalty being asked for a selfie. “ …mmmm… Sorry, but no.”

Keep your mouth shut. Don’t do their work for them. Wait for a lawyer.

[kedreeva]

I worked as a police dispatcher for a year and a half, and I’d agree with this. My cops were generally nice people (and I say this having been on the wrong end of their sirens twice, once before and once after being hired), and they often helped in good ways… on the street. Not so much in the station. Generally speaking (and I know this is oversimplification and is worse in a lot of places but), it went like this:

On the street, you were considered as a person/citizen they have sworn to protect who may have made a mistake or done something wrong.

Once you were in the station, you were considered as a criminal. In the station you are the only one on your side.

Stay safe.

[thebaconsandwichofregret]

TV and film has you thinking that only guilty people ask for a lawyer. This is not true. The law is complex and difficult and confusing and if you’re being questioned by the police you’re not going to be in your best state of mind. A lawyer is your basic civil right and you should exercise that right. Keep silent, ask for a lawyer, take your legal advice.

Guilty people don’t ask for a lawyer, smart people do.

[noseforahtwo]

“Guilty people don’t ask for a lawyer, smart people do.”

[thebestpersonherelovesbucky]

My uncle was a cop. My uncle is the most down to earth, wouldn’t hurt a fly person in the world. I don’t think he even arrested a single person ever, that wasn’t his job on the force. His advice? Get a fucking lawyer. Never say a damn word. A cop knows how to twist your words around and make you even doubt yourself. They know damn well how to make you feel guilty by getting a lawyer. YOU need to know that it’s SMART to get a lawyer. Get a lawyer.

[dynamicsymmetry]

People can be convinced that they committed a non-existant crime in three hours.

Don’t say shit. Get a lawyer.

[feminismandmedia]

If you want to watch a show that shows people admitting to things they may not have done and the tactics involved, check out The Confession Tapes. It’s on Netflix.

[jenroses]

My husband is a defense attorney, and yeah, get a lawyer. There is no lawyer more expensive than not getting a lawyer in this kind of situation.

[alovelyphil]

carrie fisher and freddie mercury were both too powerful for this weak world

[pissvortex]

Outfit

[gar-dev-oir-s-deactivated201909]

what’s the top???

[gaywig]

this is more a tits out kind of look

[rihannafenty]

[southernsideofme-deactivated201]

[justlikeastare]

[vieminuscule-deactivated2020052]

i am now straight and homophobic

[sixpenceee]

Manhattan subway gets covered in Swastikas on every advertisement. One guy got up and said, “Hand sanitizer gets rid of Sharpie. We need alcohol.” The passengers all reached into their bags and pockets looking for tissues and Purel and got to work. (Source)

[schrodingers-gay-cousin-deactiv]

Fucking yes.

[rawmasshole-deactivated20250107]

Heartbroken and warmed at the same time

[dankmemecentral1]

I can’t believe this is real!

[clowndotorg]

of course it’s fucking anish kapoor

[brucebocchi]

[argyle-s]

Harry Potter and How the Scene Should Have Gone

[illegalaustralien]

Umbridge: Mr. Potter, do you expect to be attacked in my class?

Harry: Yes.

Umbridge: What?

Harry: Well, I mean, I’m running four for four.

Umbridge: Mr. Potter-

Harry: Quirrel tried to choke me out.

Umbridge: Mr. Potter-

Harry: And Lockhart tried to wipe my memory.

Umbridge: Mr. Potter-

Harry: Of course, Professor Lupin didn’t mean it. He just forgot his potion, but still, totally went werewolf on me.

Umbridge: MR. POTTER-

Harry: And then Moody turned out to be an escaped Death Eater in disguise.

Umbridge: POTTER!

Harry: So, yeah, I figure it’s 100% you’ll attack me in June, 50/50 you’ll try to kill me, with a 25% chance of an Unforgivable curse.

Harry: (Turns to Hermione)

Harry: Did I get the math right?

Hermione: Yes.

[softbutchtashayar]

So I know that with the holidays some people gotta deal with shitty family or maybe don’t have a family so I’m just gonna say…

I can be your butch lesbian dad.

My skills in this department include:

Good at encouragement and compliments

Will put your drawings on my fridge

Will attend all your sports games and recitals; very good at clapping and using an air horn to show other parents that I am the Most Supportive

Always telling my coworkers how proud I am of you and of all the amazing things you do

Only 5'5", very unimposing and approachable

Will let you have as many pets as you want

Good at puns; once got booted from three different chat groups in the span of half an hour for pie puns

Will never fail to tell you how much I love you and how glad I am to be your dad

I’m so proud of you, kiddo!

[softbutchtashayar]

With Father’s Day coming up, I would like to once again offer my services as a lesbian dad. I have added/remembered a few other skills within my repertoire:

Tacky shirts for all occasions

Will call you by nicknames such as “Sport”, “Kiddo”, “Champ”, “Buddy”, “Pumpkin”, “Buckeroo”, “Sonny”, “Sweetie”, or whatever you may prefer

If you want I can give your dates the Dad Look™ whilst chopping fruit with my great axe but then instead of giving them the Dad Talk™ I offer them some light refreshments (fruit salad) and ask them what they like to do (because you’re not my POSSESSION, why the fuck would I not trust your judgement? But I absolutely want to get to know the important people in your life!)

I will respect your gender and sexuality no matter what. 10/10 would take you to pride (probably while wearing a tacky rainbow “proudest lesbian dad” t-shirt)

I sing really loudly in the car (I know a lot of showtunes and rock ballads) and you are welcome either join in the singing or you can sit in your seat saying “uuuhhhggg you’re so EMBARASSING”. both of these reactions add to my enjoyment of driving with you

I will Always dance to the boppy 70’s music they play in the supermarket and my dance moves are Very Bad

If you want I can make a big show of leaping to my feet and saying, panicked, “YOU’RE NOT LEAVING DRESSED LIKE T H A T” so that you think I’m about to make you change but, no, I’m actually just grabbing the perfect accessory to match your shirt and then I give you a little kiss on the forehead and tell you to have a fun night

I am Small (only 5'5", very unimposing) but my heart is Big and my shoulders are good for crying on, should you need them

If you have goals and dreams and things you’re passionate about, I’ll always make time to hear them, and I’ll always encourage you to live your best life

Remember, Lesbian Dad loves you and wants you to have a great Father’s Day!!

[softbutchtashayar]

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from your local Lesbian Dad!!! ☃️🎅🎁

❤💚🎄❤💚 You know I’m always so grateful to have you all, kids!!! Peace and joy and happiness be yours, and may the new year bring even more!! ❤💚🎄❤💚