Rex Corvus, parate Regis Corvi

mel, 23, she/her bi panic•trampires•

[reconizable-quotes-harrypotter]

Draco: "You did wandless magic?"

Hermione: (In Elle Woods voice): “What? Like, it’s hard?”

[rosalielesbianhale]

Rosalie Hale was taught that her value lies in her appearance from a very early age. Her parents trusted that because of her beauty she would marry up and secure a stable future, not only for herself but for her family. She was taught to crave male attention because that would be her and her family’s ticket to financial stability. She was raised at a time where the idea that a woman’s role was to be a wife and a mother was even more pervasive in society than it is today. She was canonically objectified and lusted after by grown men since she was 12 (twelve) years old. She was violated and left for dead by several men at 18, including by the man that she intended to marry and build a life with. She was then turned into a vampire without her having been consulted on the matter, when she was at her most vulnerable, directly following the brutal attack previously mentioned. Her being turned at that moment, directly after a traumatic experience, halting any further alterations to her neurological system or brain chemistry likely prevents her from ever rewiring her traumatised brain and moving away from that trauma. Trauma fractures time, causing you to constantly relive your trauma even as time goes by and because she is frozen in time she will likely never fully move past it.

And Edward, knowing all of this, arguably better than anyone else since he can actually see her memories (and can you imagine how often those memories haunted her, especially at the beginning of her immortal life) has the audacity to consider her a shallow bitch.

In conclusion: fuck Smeyer. Fuck Smeyer for thinking the only female character worth representing in her fiction is a traumatised one. Fuck Smeyer for belittling women’s experiences. Fuck Smeyer for pitting women against each other. And although it has nothing to do with this post, fuck Smeyers casual racism.

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Have you heard the good word about the Pembrokeshire walrus yet?

This walrus is fucken lost.

But Wales has lost its collective shit about it. They're generally keeping its location secret to keep people away, but we get updates every day if it's still here, if it's happy, if it's healthy. We think it was in Ireland about two weeks ago, which is interesting, because it is not actually native to Ireland either. Why is it here? No one knows.

It seems to like Pembrokeshire beaches.

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

I regret to inform you all that the walrus is a delinquent.

In attempting to climb aboard a dinghy in Tenby it capsized it.

It then proceeded to Tenby harbour where it tried to climb aboard a fishing boat.

Incredibly, this is not an April Fools

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Today on English People RUIN Everything, a bunch of English tourists from Essex and Leeds broke covid-19 regulations and travelled to Tenby over Easter to try and see Wally (so named after Where's Wally) and crowded him with jet skis and surfboards and stuff, so he's not been seen since Monday. We don't know yet if he's moved to a secluded spot again, or left Wales entirely.

But, you know, I doubt we were going to have Wally for much longer anyway, since they need to head back home again at some point. Godspeed, Wally. May your fish be ever plentiful.

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

The English went back home and Wally came back to Tenby! We stan a true Welsh icon, folks.

Some facts about Wally:

She is named after Where’s Wally because she is hard to spot

She was previously in Ireland, and then secluded beaches in Pembrokeshire, but has really taken a shine to Tenby, which is a delightful village

She has a scar on one flipper but it’s long-healed and doesn’t seem to bother her

She is the southern-most walrus ever spotted in the wild!

The current theory as to how she got here is that she fell asleep on an ice floe that drifted south, but she’s not bothered about returning yet

She’s believed to be two years old

Her gender is still a bit of a mystery but we seem to be leaning female

This story on Wales Online claims she’s believed to be male, but then uses female pronouns. It also features a video of some Welsh people chatting about Wally, including a child whose first language is very clearly Welsh and by the end of his part is struggling to think of things to say about the walrus in English.

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

WALLY UPDATE!!

The Western Telegraph has opted for male pronouns, and is being very firm that Wally is male, although other news outlets are still all over the place. But what has Wally been up to the past few days?

He is rapidly gaining weight, and is still giving no cause for concern to either of the organisations watching him (which are the RSPCA a bit and Welsh Marine Life Rescue a lot; this is funny though because a walrus is so far outside of the wheelhouse of either of those organisations like we’re all just guessing here, lads)

His delinquent ways have continued - he has now attempted to climb onto multiple buoys (all unsuccessfully) and at one point nearly got a mooring rope stuck around his neck. 

Has he learned from this?

FOLKS HE HAS NOT!

He is now a Fashion Icon. He has surfaced multiple times wearing accessories in his moustache. Mostly this has been shells, but three days ago he upped his fashion game by wearing this starfish:

What an Icon.

The photographer of this picture, one Amy Compton who has been Wally’s official photographer since the start, has been making these delightful Wally masks (inset). They sell for £5, of which £1 goes to Welsh Marine Life Rescue. If you would like your own Wally mask, contact her here!

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

My mother came for a visit today and we checked and Tenby is an hour away from me, so we went for a Lovely Day Trip to Find a Walrus.

Friends, I took the shittest photo there has ever been of a Walrus. But I absolutely did get to see em.

A lifeboat wandered by to check em out at one point, and ey just... sank. Just dropped below the surface like Homer Simpson moving backwards into a hedge. After a while the boat left, and Wally surfaced again.

I can now confirm that ey really, really likes blowing water around like a whale, and also kept eyeing up that buoy next to em.

Also, I had entirely forgotten how comically beautiful Tenby is, but that's an aside

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Time for a Wally Update!!!

It's only a little one, but apparently we're getting Serious about this walrus, lads - the police are now stepping in to say that anyone interfering with Wally (examples of this interference to date: throwing things at him, taking boats and paddle boards out to him, throwing fish overboard to tempt him closer, etc) is committing a criminal offence and we must send evidence of Assholes to them. So that's fun!

Meanwhile, the tense stand-off between the RNLI and Wally continues over Who Gets To Use The Lifeboat Slipway. Here is a picture of Wally in full delinquent mode.

What a public menace.

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Time for the weekly Wally news!

Here is the problem with 2,500 lbs of predatory sea potato using the slipway of a lifeboat station as a spa bed: sometimes, canoeists get in trouble near Stackpole and need rescuing and then some underwhelmed Welsh coast guard is going to have to try to chase said predatory sea potato off the slipway so they can launch the boat.

Here is the problem with that scenario: an underwhelmed Welsh coast guard basically views 2,500 lbs of predatory sea potato as a sort of ornery gelatinous cow, and so will try to do this with, and I am not making this up, a broom. But a ton of overgrown seal has no fear of brooms, so the attempt is not entirely successful under time-sensitive conditions while canoeists are actively drowning 10 miles away.

Solution? An air horn.

Which did work long enough to get the boat out, and then Wally clambered back aboard barely minutes later and fell asleep again. So trick learned, I guess.

Anyway, since I've apparently become Tumblr's primary Wally journalist, I thought I'd go for a cheeky visit again today so I could report on their condition FIRST HAND (you're all welcome, I have incredible integrity). Today I tried using a binocular over my phone camera with was extremely stressful and moderately successful - and I have two pieces of NEWS.

Story the First

Two dinghies with divers aboard suddenly turned up and sailed right up to them. There are Welsh Marine Life Rescue volunteers everywhere, and one woman immediately yelled "YOU ARE TOO CLOSE. MOVE AWAY."

Everyone on the cliff went silent. The boats went closer.

"YOU ARE BREAKING THE LAW," yelled the beachmaster. "MOVE AWAY."

Tumblrs, they did not.

"CAN YOU HEAR ME?" she yelled. "MOVE AWAY."

At which point, the whole fucken cliff starts joining in, because Welsh people are Like That.

"Move away!"

"Leave 'im alone, mun!"

"Move away, butt, what you doing!"

"He's the size of an 'orse, bois, can't you see 'im from here?!"

"Bloody move you fucks, you'll scare 'im away again!"

(That last one was, I swear, an eighty year old woman.)

The boats, suddenly being yelled at by a whole cliff of Welsh people, sailed away. Later, we followed the beachmaster who was now on a mission, and found her with a couple of community police officers ripping the shit out of the divers. It was very satisfying.

Story the Second

I mentioned my binocular and phone trick. It came in handy. At first it gave me some very satisfying shots for a distance picture on a phone camera:

But, you know, whatever.

But THEN I got this picture:

which I got 0.256778 seconds before that majestic Arctic beast of purest beautiful nature untamed FELL OFF THE SIDE OF THE SLIPWAY LIKE A CAT THAT GOT TOO CLOSE TO A TABLE EDGE

Wally was fine, the seagull to the right was traumatised.

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

This is not an update as such but my friend Chris who I took with me to get the scoop on Wally on Sunday had a real camera with him, and he has produced a WAY better photo than I did, and I want you all to see Just How Louche a Walrus is capable of looking:

Handsome boi

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Okay, so this post went from 24,000 notes to 40,000 overnight, and I am getting a lot of important scientific queries about Wally! So I shall call upon my expertise as a skilled journalist of huge integrity and also a genuine, actual lecturer in environmental science to answer them all as best I can. I shall also use pictures.

1. When did this happen?

I have included many links in this thread to news articles on Wally, each of which is dated, so you can check those for accurate dates; but, xe turned up in Ireland in March 2021, and then made hir way to Pembrokeshire, Wales end of March. Xe reached Tenby a week or so later in April, and now refuses to leave. As of this update (6th May, 2021) xe’s still there and chillin’ - my friend Chris’ louche photo there was taken on Sunday the 2nd May. 

I shall date all updates from now on. Apologies for this uncharacteristic lapse in my journalistic performance. I have let Wally down.

2. “Oh my god do you guys call Waldo Wally?!??”

Folks!! Folks so many of you are doing this!!! But here’s the thing!!!

Where’s Wally is a British series and that’s the original name!!! It has been translated and regionalised around the world, and the name was changed in 28 of them!! A sizeable number don’t even sound like ‘Wally’!!! In France he’s Charlie! In Lithuania he’s Jonas! In Arabic versions he’s Fuḍūlī!!!

Yet only one nationality is repeatedly reacting with astonishment while assuming theirs is the one true original version!!! Guess which one!!! You have to stop!!! Especially the few who have responded with out and out swearing and aggression when I’ve explained!!! THIS POST IS ABOUT A WALRUS!!!!

3. Is Wally okay in Wales? Does xe need to leave/be moved?

Xe’s currently fine - an Arctic walrus can handle water temperatures of up to 15 degrees celsius, which West Wales is certainly currently accommodating. Xe was also distressingly underweight when first spotted fresh off the ice floe, but we’ve been monitoring hir health and xe’s roughly doubled hir bodyweight and is very healthy. I asked the fishmonger in Tenby if xe’s affecting the catch and the nice man said no and sold me a lemon sole for my mam. So right now, Wally is doing great, all needs met, with no real clashes with other stakeholders (i.e. fishers and that) except for, you know, the one (i.e. the lifeboat people).

However, high summer in Wales is warm enough that the sea will top the temperature threshold. So, we’re expecting Wally to leave by hirself in a month or so, if xe doesn’t decide to move sooner. Whether xe decides to swim all the way back home, or xe starts just moving north along the western coast and next turns up in the Isle of Mann or Scotland to continue hir holiday of the Celtic Ring remains to be seen. But, xe’ll do it hirself eventually, so it’s down to us to just keep hir happy and healthy for as long as xe chooses to stay.

4. I think Wally is female!

Yeah, maybe

5. I think Wally is male!

Very possibly

6. I think walruses have no concept of gender!

Almost definitely

7. What’s Walrus in Welsh?

They’re not native, so the Cymricisation “walrws” is getting a lot of use - but, Welsh is nothing if not poetic, so in official literature it’s “morfarch”, which means “sea stallion” or “sea knight” depending on your dialect.

8. Did they really use a broom and an airhorn on Wally?!

Here is a forlorn coast guard attempting to shift hir with a broom:

And here is the same coastguard attempting to shift hir with an airhorn:

9. I cannot believe this walrus is a delinquent!!!

Very well. Here is Wally’s criminal case file, including photographic evidence of two boarded boats and hir mugshot:

[moomoozuzu-deactivated20220918]

Ya’ll be like “Shang was having a bi freak out, realizing he was into Ping”. NO HE WASN’T. He already knew he was into men. His bisexual freak out was when he realized Ping was Mulan and hey maybe he’s into girls too whatdoya know?

[moomoozuzu-deactivated20220918]

Legit you think a bi man who has always been in such a male-dominated space like the army hadn’t already figured out that he liked men? Come oooonnnn… It’s women he has rarely had contact with and has no idea how to talk to or flirt with (you fight good) I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL.

[moomoozuzu-deactivated20220918]

In “A Girl Worth Fighting For” Shang has zero lines I REST MY FUCKING CASE.

[gottalovecatss]

[moomoozuzu-deactivated20220918]

[socialjusticeace]

I am Looking at these tags my guy

[ID: Screenshot of tags that read:

ppl don’t like to imagine bi ppl coming to terms with being bi after identifying as gay bc they think that’s a downgrade lol. That’s why there’s like 100000 stories about cishets realizing they were bi and like 2 of gay ppl realizing they were bi.

:END ID]

[katie-the-angel-witch]

[blueelectricangels]

if you read in a frog paper “specimen was released in the field immediately after capture” chances are very good that what it actually means is

“i dropped the damn frog and despite the fact that we fell all over each other no one could recapture it”

[blueelectricangels]

sometimes when i am sad i go read through the tags on this post, because they are 70% other biologists saying things like “AND ALSO FUCK FIELD MICE” and “THAT CRAB ALMOST BROKE MY FINGER” and I am reassured that I am not the only one who has bobbled a wood frog right into their cleavage.

plus six or seven people who just….can’t figure out what a frog paper could possibly be. (guys it’s…a scientific paper. about frogs.)

and this one

which made me laugh despairingly because i mean

bro you don’t even know.

[jumpingjacktrash]

what is the code entomologists use for “i stepped on it, i’m so sorry, it was dark out and the specimen was very small”

[coolmanfromthepast]

“Impromptu dissection was performed under less-than-optimal lighting conditions.”

[jumpingjacktrash]

‘impromptu dissection’ is an alarming phrase in any context and i thank you for it

[inky-petrel]

What’s biologist for “the little fucker BIT me and I yote it into the undergrowth on reflex”?

[tawghasa]

“Specimen was removed from the study pool due to abnormal interaction responses”

[vilkalizer]

I am reblogging this 98% for the second to last comment holy shit I’m fucking choking

[elfwreck]

I’m enjoying the tags/replies discussing the proper conjugation of “to yeet.” I am in favor of the decision that the future perfect is “will have yitten.”

[woefully-undercaffeinated]

Expanding this, NASA has a few gems from their report language:

“Underwent unplanned rapid disassembly” – it exploded, and it wasn’t an explosion we wanted to happen

“Lithobraking maneuver” – it stopped because it hit the goddamned ground.

“Engine-rich exhaust” – the engine bell melted or evaporated, or the engine ejected itself out the back of the rocket without having a very good reason to do so.

“Fishing orbit” – the craft is in the ocean instead of space and we didn’t mean to put it there

“Thrust was observed along an undesired vector” – the engine leaked and the rocket spun off into oblivion.

“Wearing his manager hat” – a moron who shouldn’t be an engineer (a reference to the infamous quote “take off your engineer hat and put on your manager hat” in the meeting in which the Challenger was cleared for launch)

“Received an unrequested transfer” – he’s dead.

[jessica-problems]

very important note: sometimes they lithobrake on purpose

[y-ennefers]

Shadow & Bone Appreciation Week 🌹 Day Three: Favorite Scene

↳  01.08 NO MOURNERS

OP THOUGHTS: This moment between Inej and Alina was the cement I needed to link the two series together. It was a believer ― a girl raised on religion that held so steadfast to it, who would only go against it for her friends and was now warring with it in her mind ― that had met and given her hand for a true Saint. It was a girl ― raised as an orphan, belittled and broken down, knowing only one friend and no purpose ― that overcame her own self doubts and fears to become a legend and and a powerful ray of hope for so many. A Sun Summoner and her newest Soldier, hand in hand okay I’m emotional now. 

[raskolni-kin]

may i present you

penguin pingu classics

[gingerteaonthetardis]

jacob: i think bella has the right to know things that are relevant to her life and safety, and that she also has the right to go places, do things, and see people

edward, holding broken, grease-stained pieces of bella’s car engine in his bare hands: oh, yeah, me too. definitely

[imanes]

a fast and easy way to tell these apps exactly what you think about the fact that they are suppressing palestinian voices as well as anything that supports their cause. apple denied facebook’s request to delete these negative reviews. let’s tank these bitches!

[negativefouriq]

don’t forget facebook messenger and marketplace and whatsapp!!

also update: as of today (may 25, 2021, 4:56 edt) the top reviews for facebook are the one-star callouts!! keep going it’s making a difference!!

[imanes]

Thanks for the addition! U can also add venmo to the list as they restricted money transfer to Palestinians

[grey-wxren]

Hey kids, I need to write an essay for class and have to “interview” people. If y’all have any time please help a loser out 🥺

[grey-wxren]

Just boosting this because I would really appreciate the help

[grey-wxren]

Hey kids, I need to write an essay for class and have to “interview” people. If y’all have any time please help a loser out 🥺

[grey-wxren]

I need to conduct research for my English essay-

I’m writing about abuse, misogyny and SMeyer’s white savior complex and the effects it had on the fandom.

I want to tie in the MTHG movement, but also would like to gather research from fellow twilight fans about their experiences within the fandom.

[duckflyfly]

3x08 + 3x10

[aerithstrifes]

Well, time to go! Goodbye, Marilla. I hope you don’t envy me too much in this time of great learning in my young life.

anne with an e ★ 1.04 - an inward treasure is born

[aesterea-archived]

i really really mean it please write muslim characters, it’s really not that daunting literally all you have to do is throw in a few casual qualities.

have them squint uncertainly at the meat options in a restaurant and ask if there’s pork in the sandwich. have them mention on the phone “oh, i’m gonna stop by the mosque first for prayer but i’ll be there soon.” have your hijabi girls squeal over cute scarves in mall store windows and swoon over sparkly pins. have them kindly reject a glass of water and say “oh, i’m fasting today.”

just don’t make their religion their only defining aspect. like??

for most women, wearing hijab is about as casual as wearing a shirt or pants. give me a badass woman on a mission to save the world just like you’d write literally any other badass woman on a mission to save the world— this one just happens to keep her hair in a headscarf and is careful not to eat certain foods?

and not all muslim women wear scarves, a lot of them just choose not to or they decide not right now but they’ll do it later? like, give me a girl who’s absolutely determined to break a world record and halfway through the story she shows up in a headscarf for the first time and it’s no big deal. 

give me a kid who’s on the search for an ancient magical artifact and also they get anxious at some point cause they’re busy but prayer’s gonna start soon and they don’t wanna miss it. have them whip out their phone and search for the nearest mosque. have them find some quiet place to pray alone, like in the corner of a hotel room they just booked while their travel companion’s watching TV with the volume turned down low.

just?? do a bit of research (when are the prayer times, when is ramadan, what are halal foods, mosques in texas, etc.) and write!!! muslim!!! characters!!!

[the104yearoldvirgin]

Edward being weird at school: 👀

Bella "my Dad gave me pepper spray but I could definitely handle your twink ass without it" Swan:

[stedeybon]

anybody: Robert Pattinson-

me: