D&D Addict @grognarthegamemaster - Tumblr Blog

Speaking of how i used to work for CNN does anyone wanna hear about how fucking wild my job interview for that was because it still haunts my dreams sometimes

ceasarslegion

Alright lets go

Considering that CNN anchors are pretty public eye in the interest of confidentiality im not gonna reveal what desk this was at, who i used to work under, etc. This was a year before corona hit, so I figure it's been long enough that i can tell this

So I was fully applying for a job I wasn't entirely qualified for. I had tons of field journalism and editorial experience, but that was in media journalism. I wasn't expecting to get a call back, so of course I went and presented my best self. I was expecting this interview to happen in like, a private office. I got up to their floor, shook hands with my interviewer, and he deadass just... stood in the hallway with me while writers and tech people were running by and did it there.

I handed him my CV, he looked at it for all of 2 seconds before he said "this is a nice layout," and folded it into his pocket to never look at again. He doesn't bring up my experience, or my references, skills, education, anything. He just starts firing off riddles at me

I swear to god, he doesn't miss a beat. He just goes from complimenting my CV's look and then says "what's the world's largest desert?"

I ask "hot or cold?"

He says "either"

I say "then Antarctica." I have no idea what the fuck is happening, but this might as well happen. My life is already so goddamn weird.

"But there's ice everywhere."

"Doesn't mean the water is accessible."

He nods and says "clever. Not a lot of people get that on the first try."

And the entire interview is just trick questions and riddles of increasing difficulty thrown at me in a hallway. He starts leading me around the office at one point while he keeps playing Riddler to my Batman. He never once looks at my qualifications, I assume he's done that in my online application. But he doesn't question me about my work experience or what i can bring to the table, he just keeps asking me shit about hypothetical games of russian roulette and what I would do in the trolley problem. I am in professional business attire, he is wearing jeans, a graphic shirt, and a manchester united football club snapback.

I answer his riddles, he bids me farewell with a smile and a well-natured clap between my shoulder blades that's hard enough to knock my glasses down to the tip of my nose once i turn around. All I get is a "you're impressive, kid," on my way out. I am confused as all fuck as I step back outside and hail a taxi, and spend the entire drive home in silence wondering what in the fresh hell that was.

I get the job.

I wonder if I met life's main character.

ghost-cassette

I think you did meet the Riddler actually

moveslikekeithrichards

i think the hardest part about this job is not being able to say What The Fuck

grumsal

This person made a very sincere 11 minute video about the reason why characters still get snuck up on by zombies in The Walking Dead is cos they’re all going deaf from shooting guns too much

stream

X2: X-Men United (2003)

theconcealedweapon

durkin77

Like I get that it’s a dick move if it’s not necessary. But if you break down in tears because you have to actually go to work you’re a massive fucking pussy.

creation-of-pokerus

It’s more like they were given a brief, happier, healthier alternative to being stuck inside a small space for 8 hours a day for a year and a half and going back to that is realizing how awful it really is.

all-hail-trudos

Calling someone a “pussy” for breaking down in tears over being subjected to fresh, unreasonable misery is contributing to the problem of letting corporations dictate our lives and sounds a lot like deep throating the boot. (Aside from the casual misogyny of saying tears, Feeling Things, and apparently not wanting to go to work are feminine and not something a manly man would do).

Dude literally had a year of freedom. He could go outside, go to the park, stay home, just generally go where he pleased. Like a fucking adult who understood he had work to do, and obviously still got it all done because he hasn’t been fired or “laid off”. Now he’s got a collar back on his neck and a chain keeping him at a desk between a set of beige walls and an equally boring ceiling, which was there before, but now he sees it for what it is. And why is it there? Because his boss has a deep insecurity about letting people work without oversight. Because his manager starts to look a little redundant if people can do their jobs without touching base, attending meetings, and generally doing stuff that makes said manager look like a Leader. Because there’s people who think “this is the way my parents did it, and their parents did it, and presumably (but actually not) how their parents did it, so it’s good enough for me and you, and let’s have no more talk of this change nonsense”.

This is why there’s talk of a literal Great Resignation coming, as people who’ve come to appreciate their freedom give the bird to unreasonable bosses who want them back in an office. And other people who actually preferred the structure and routine of the desk look for another one when their own bosses decide to keep the work-from-home model coming. Covid has caused a cultural shift, and ridiculing our fellow man for wanting something better is the stupidest thing you can do.

bogleech

The whole year proved that people still get enough work done without going in person and we know all that commuting is hell on the environment. There actually ought to be a push to “ban” physical office work; absolutely no business should be able to force you to go somewhere if your work can be done from anywhere at all.

I say this as someone who has never had an office/cubicle job myself, but holy shit the notes are an absolute trainwreck of people thinking office workers have “cushy” jobs they should appreciate better. No, no they do not, office workers have a high suicide rate for a reason. More to the point, you shouldn’t be making any worker’s rights into a “who has it worse” race.

parakeet

knife crow is a dad now omg

femmepathy

plasmalogical

this isnt necessarily good news but i hope we can all agree that if you are attacked by a puma and you kill it with your bare hands it should be socially acceptable to wear the pelt wherever you damn well please

plasmalogical

spoken like a future puma victim

theindependentconservative

….why didn’t he shoot the mountain lion?

plasmalogical

lol what are you, a gun cuck? cant kill a large predator with your own hands?

prokopetz

More inadvisable ways to introduce a replacement for a dead Dungeons & Dragons character mid adventure:

Hanging from a gallows, apparently dead, only to speak up and request help getting down at the party’s approach; when they ask how you survived, simply remark that you have a very strong neck

Appearing in a flash of light in response to some seemingly innocuous action, tearfully thanking the party for “finally breaking the curse”

The next ogre or other large humanoid the party encounters is wielding you as a club

Wandering aimlessly from around the next bend, peering at an enormous fold-out map and loudly insisting you could have sworn this was the way to Waterdeep

Falling screaming from the sky, and landing miraculously unharmed; if questioned, mutter something about bats and refuse to elaborate

(replacement character is at least one size category smaller) It turns out that you were in the deceased character’s backpack the whole time

tekehu-archive

Geographic conditions indicate an aesthetically pleasing view nearby. Organic life forms may wish to take note.

sixpenceee

A drone has crashed into Iceland's spewing Fagradalsfjall volcano, with its final spectacular moments being captured on video.

(Source)

szeretemacheddart

tetramera

oops all wolves

fhtagn-and-tentacles

CARACOLILLA

Sculpted by Abner Marin Painted by Jenny Li

everythingfox

“Yes I could tell you exactly how this happened but a magician never reveals his secrets”

(via)

mysharona1987

instructor144

mysharona1987

Fun fact: Tucker's super rich mom made a point of only leaving him $1 in her will.

And she likely did that for a reason: So he couldn't contest the will and argue "But maybe she was old and not in her right mind and forgot me."

It's apparently a specific practice amongst rich people when you want to leave a loathed family member nothing and don't want to give them a leg to stand on in court.

mysharona1987

Tucker's mom giving off the Lucille Bluth vibes.