im calling off the girldad boydad by/ler phenomenon. this isnt happening anymore. in fact, it shouldnt be happening in general.
first of all, if we have to use the terms—a girl/boy dad is something a man becomes AFTER he has the kid. There is no determinism involved with the sex of one’s unborn child, and it gets real dicey when we start going that way. I also hate that having a son or a daughter—or preferring one—is something that can exist as a “vibe” for a character who doesn’t have kids.
is this coming from fans preferring headcanons of mike or will having tea parties and painting nails with their kid? that they would be glad to have a daughter because she won’t want to play catch with them? if so, i reject the notion that mike and will cant be having tea parties with their son or playing sports with their daughter. not only is this perpetuating the idea that boys and girls should be raised differently, this is assuming their hypothetical kid is gonna be straight and gender-conforming!
i also want to respectfully remind everyone that the whole idea that gay guys should have daughters and lesbians should have sons attitude comes from a very homophobic place. there’s an implication that same-sex parents shouldn’t or can’t raise same-sex children—and why is that? is it because we wouldn’t know how to raise a kid of our same sex right? or because we’re predators?
i know a lot of online fans aren’t thinking too hard about what conceiving, adopting, and/or raising kids as a same-sex couple realistically entails, but i think it is really important to continue to consider all the aspects of real life gay life when talking about fictional gay characters in any capacity.
