Collective

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Not My Father’s Porn Stash

-      My Father had a porn stash so did my friend’s dads and brothers and uncles cousins and boyfriends every guy seemed to be a collector – I didn’t take it personally. As times changed I was cognizant of the variety of porn out in the market place and I heard tragic stories of women who were manipulated, drug, forced into the industry and there was the occasion story about the porn starlet who achieved pop star status as an adult movie siren who chose and loved her work and her life, I thought - those were the “lucky” ones. I watched the popularly of porn skyrocket on the internet and more and more it become absolutely common place. I have engaged in watching it, I have sought it out on my own. But I never really thought of the cultural and social implications of the industry overall and what it suggested about the society nor had I thought about the actual porn consumer, market place or their pornographic needs.

     After reading two different books one entitled The Feminist Porn Book and the other  Coming Out Like a Porn Star. I feel a greater sense of understanding about people the how and whys of participating in that industry. I can appreciate the importance of women being fully engaged in the production, publishing, and distributing their own sex and porno products - not only is it a billion dollar industry but it has historically been dominated by white men leaving women and minorities without a creative voice and no real money.  Women need to and should be in control of the images that are used - and be given the opportunity to reach an audience whose idea of what is erotic has gone completely ignored.

       In the book Feminist Porn one of the essays Intervention written by M. Miller-Young. She shared the depth to which racism has shaped the porn industry and how severely black women are exploited and marginalized.  “Black women are devalued as hyper accessible and super disposable in an industry that simultaneously invests in and ghettoizes fantasies about black sexuality.”  In the production of Black women produced porn she hopes to see radical improvement to these conditions “pornography created by black women attempts to expand their sexual representations, performances and labor beyond the current limits of the pornography industry and the confines of pervading stereotypes.” I find that the second part of that particular statement –“to expand their sexual representations, performances and labor beyond the current limits of the pornography industry and the confines of pervading stereotypes.” (Taormino, 2012) - While this statement voices the concern for the image portrayal of black women.  It also can so easily speak for all women and minorities working in predominately all white man run porn industry. 

      When what is considered “normal” translates into white women in heterosexual male dominant scenarios and anything different than results in the  dehumanization and objectification of everyone else -that has something to do with me.  All this time I have believed myself to be removed from the porn industry- it existed in some alternate universe that had no interest or ownership in me.  But now I can see that it is my problem. It’s everyone’s problem.  As we try to improve conditions for all Americans we can not ignore the political and social implication of the images readily available for viewing not just in porn but everywhere. It is important to try to improve those images in all media in every way.  Keep in mind – that the best way to change the negative stereo typical images we see in society - is to change the society and that is no easy task – but it is being done in this case by too few alternative porn producers at a time - I can identify with that struggle. .

      As this semester concludes and I think about what this class has offered us. I think that the greatest gift is a broadened perspective. I always considered myself a conscientious empathetic person. This class offered  alternative ideas to consider and the tools to be more open minded with everything (including how I see myself) and  all people.  These ideas are not new  – I  have always tried  to be an appreciator and respectful of all humanity.  But Dr. Turpin’s class  provided  a provocative lenses that allowed for and demanded the  examination of western society’s cultural traditions and conventions and  made us  consider how truly debilitating the culture have been to so many of us. This class encouraged me to actively seek social justice and to make the voice of tolerance and acceptance much louder – and at the very least –  we can do this with one conversation at a time.

Works Cited Lee, E. B. (2015). Coming Out Like A Porn Star. Berkeley, CA: ThreeLMedia. Taormino, E. b. (2012). The Feminist Porn Book. New York, NY: Feminist Press .

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Coming Out Like A Porn Viewer

I am totally out. I am a heterosexual cis woman, middle aged and chronically single. I grew up around men and am very familiar with porn. I remember watching porn as teenager with my friends the way children watched cartoons. We  would sit around with my high school friends and watch their parent’s or older sibling’s  secret stash and we would laugh and make fun of the people that we watched on poorly maintained and obviously chronically viewed VHS tapes. We didn’t act out what we saw, no girls were coerced in to sex or manipulated by the boys nor did the boys masturbate (at least to my knowledge) at that time - we all just watched porn and didn’t believe we were being harmed by the education. I remember one title was New Wave Hooker Bitches – a movie about new wave music groupies. I remember names like Linda Lovelace and Deep Throat. I didn’t think of them as stars more like characters in a movie…. I do remember thinking that the women were sluts, loose and didn’t have anything to do with me. I remember young girls in our neighborhood being slut shamed for the way they dressed or that they had sex with boys we knew but that didn’t have anything to do with me either. My father had his own stash of pornographic material. I remember after my parents divorce he had a lazy body recliner in his bedroom and taped to the walls were pornographic images of black women. Their dark skin and Afros  in all their nakedness exposing the vaginas and breasts while seductively looking at the camera. I didn’t know why those pictures were taped to the wall. He wasn’t embarrassed by them and neither was I. That was in the early 70s by the later 70’s Prince came on to the scene – I was his biggest fan. His second album was called Dirty Mind and it was full of pornographic ideas and taboo topics. I listened and memorized every word. I use to wonder if my parents where aware of the kind of ideas there young children were constantly exposed to. My family was peaceful open people and sex was openly talked about and explained to us. My brothers and I turned out to be well adjusted normal people- at least we think so. After reading sections in two different books one entitled The Feminist Porn Book by Tristin Taormino and Celine Shimzu and Coming Out Like a Porn Star, Essays by various people about pornography, protection and privacy. I feel a greater sense of understanding about people and our culture and many people’s inability to merge the worlds. One of the essays made the point that not all porno stars or people who work in the industry are victims of sex trafficking or drug addicts. Many people developed their sexual identities and there desire to share it with people early on in their lives.  I was shocked at how many women admitted to using porn and sex toys for their own sexual satisfaction or with their partners to make their sexual lives more interesting. I am happy that people are becoming more honest about the erotic in our culture and how normal it really is. Let’s talk about sex baby! Lets watch more sex baby? Sure, why not! The more we normalize one of the most nature experiences it will be a safer better world. If people are allowed access to these experiences in a peaceful and non violence way – we will probably see less victimization of women and children in our culture overall and that should be an excellent goal for all of us!

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Jealousy & Desire

          Jealousy and desire are both complex emotions that we all experience in some shape or form. I believe the two emotions are linked. Our desires can be any person, object or outcome we wish to possess. Jealousy is the expression of insecurity, fear of rejection and abandonment or being inadequate and unsuccessful (Hardy 138). We have all seen a man or women that peaked our interest, wanted to do well on an exam so we could earn the newest pair of Jordan’s or live in a big house. What happens when you get rejected? What happens when you fail that exam and end up living in a studio apartment? When these wants and needs go ignored, we develop manifestations of jealousy. We begin to feel other emotions such as anger, depression or maybe even fear.

          In terms of an intimate relationship, whether monogamous or polyamorous, proper negotiation and communication are vital to its success. All desires should be discussed before attempting to act on them, no matter how minuscule. Whether it be buying some new clothes or venturing out to find a new playmate, it should be discussed with your partner first. Your partner could think you care about yourself more because you didn’t buy them anything or feel insecure and believe that you will develop an emotional connection with someone else. With that being said, I practice monogamy and it is difficult enough to not act on every desire. I have been jealous before and no one likes to be labeled as “jealous”. When I was younger, I found myself feeling jealous quite often. I was always jealous of the fact my brother always had the nicest sneakers. I never got the girl I wanted in school. How does one cope with feelings of jealousy? You must start with yourself as mentioned in this passage from The Ethical Slut, 3rd Edition:

I notice that jealousy comes and goes, depending on how good I feel about myself. When I’m not taking care of getting what I want, it’s easy to get jealous and think that someone else is getting what I am not. I need to remember that it’s my job to get my needs met. I feel jealousy, but I’m not willing to act on it, so it mostly goes away (Hardy 142).

Just like your desires, you must control how you act on your jealousy. I was able to acknowledge my insecurities and fears so that I could deal with them. I was able to control how my jealousy manifested.

           Despite me understanding and accepting my jealousy, I still believe I would be unable to engage in a relationship with more than one partner. There would be too many chances for more than one of use to become jealous. You would have to communicate much more than before, as you would be with more than one person. The more people that are involved, the greater the level of communication. I am now comfortable with who I am but I am also comfortable sharing myself with just one person. I have nothing against polyamory but I find solace in monogamy. I believe sex should be meaningful and the person you share it with should feel exactly how you feel.

Hardy, Janet W. “Roadmaps Through Jealousy.” The Ethical Slut, 3rd ed., Ten Speed Press, 2017, pp. 135–157.

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R.E.S.P.E.C.T. Me (and Let’s Be Kinky)!

Sexuality is an essential part of our humanity. People strive to have a life that makes them happy and strikes a manageable balance. While people have desires they seek to fulfill…in order to be good to and for each other there needs to be rules to this stuff ya! And these rules are very important for us establish, know and play by.  Finding the right way to express our sexuality is an individual choice that involves other people. While our desires are ours to try to fulfill - it is imperative to maintain respect and care for our intimate partners by establishing rules that seek to help everyone get their maximum enjoyment without harm. People whether they are gay, bisexual, heterosexual or some combination. We all have the right to find a way to be our true selves while we let others truly be themselves. Full disclosure can help facilitate mutual happiness.  No harm. No foul. Finding an honest arrangement is not as easy as it seems. Some people prefer the monogamy model; they seek to have sex with only one committed partner. They feel that there sexual desires are served best by this model. For others monogamy isn’t a sustainable situation. Many people are satisfied with simple sexual episodes while others prefer more elaborate exchanges. Some prefer bondage and domination and others may desire to play extravagant role play games.  Some may want long term partnerships while others want episodic experiences or anonymous sex. Many of us run into problems when we are not completely honest with our potential mates about what it is we are truly after. Many of us allow our relationships to run amok because we find someone that we may find attractive and then try to make them fit into the parameters of the things that we desire. This kind of behavior has led to a lot of heartache, a lot of deception and misunderstandings. So, before any of us go out into the world, we need to define for ourselves our likes and dislikes as well as understand what it is we want from a particular person or at a particular time. Knowing these things about ourselves is a good way to start to foster healthy relationships, expressing these truths to potential mates is simply the right thing to do. At the end of our lives, we will look back and examine how we lived. Start that process now. Be good to each other and fair. If one person doesn’t want the same things you want – move on! There are others that will be looking for exactly what you have to offer. Believe in your right to be yourself and believe that everyone has the same right. Don’t manipulate/dominate/emasculate each other - unless that is what you and your sexual partners want and desire.  Be safe out there! Be honest out there! And most of all love each other. Bibliography Hardy, J. W. (2017). The Ethical Slut. New York: Random House. Taormino, T. (2012). The Ultimate Guide to Kink. Berkley: Cleis Press.

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A simple open discussion on the ways in which societies point of view has changed throughout history on gender identities and the classic roles females/males played.

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The Failure of Human Nature or White Boys will be White Boys

Over the last decade and a half, the gay agenda has really ramped up to produce a lot of positive strides for that community.  Once, not very long ago - gay people were mainly ignored by popular culture (if not flat out denied by it) now they are able, in just about every state, to either establish legally binding romantic partnership or better yet allowed to marry. They enjoy liberty to be openly themselves and have a plethora of support from a generally accepting society. Early in their struggle it was highly publicized that there was a similarity between the homosexual plight and the African American struggle for civil rights in the 1960s. While arguments can be made that homosexuality vs the brutality shown to an entire race due to the color of people skin are a very different situation. It certainly gave the political agenda a notoriety and a social sympathy that undeniably helped their cause. But the one thing that remains clear is that while a people who claim to understand what it is like to suffer and live through unacceptable discrimination- there remains a clear and definite lines of exclusionary practices by the gay white community against its minority brothers and sisters. An example of such duplicity is present when we examine the gay communities across the country. Look to places such as New York City, Los Angeles, San Francisco and Chicago. You will find vibrant gay community but if you look closer it's hard to miss that the demographics show very little diversity with most of their residents being Caucasian through and through. We can easily drill down and examine a particular case of racism from a very fashion gay community in Chicago, Il called Boystown. Part of the larger Lakeview area of the city, in 1998 Boystown was designated as a gay neighborhood by then Mayor Daley. Over the last twenty years Boystown has exploded to become a trendy gay hub for the city. From its onset. Boystown was a middle-class neighborhood but offered services for the LGBT community and support system for gays from every part of the region. While many black and Latino gays could not afford to live in the neighborhood they were welcomed and embraced as guests...fast forward to 2009. The country was suffering through the worst recession in America’s history. While minorities were once welcomed and embraced, as the economic climate changed so did Boystown's once noble agenda. After a series of crimes. The residents began a Facebook page that acted as neighborhood watch to combat petty crimes. As the Facebook page grew so did the community’s apparent change of heart. While the members grew the content became more and more racist and started to show images of minority followed by words that ”began degrading and criminalizing people of color. Soon black people were targeted by the police and bombarded with racists interactions and after a short time minority presence just about disappeared.” (E. Patrick Johnson, 2016) So once again, as often seen in America's long racist history...when things get tough - they get tougher for brown folks!

I think that it is a fair question to ask the white gay community if it initially felt their plight was so like the experience of the African Americans… Why do they participate in such racist/divided practices themselves? How do they justify using another group’s history to push forward their own agenda and then go home and sleep in their own little vanilla worlds? Human nature is a complicated thing. But if you have the complexity to see the error of the American story and use it against itself for you own benefit.  How can you then continue to demonize and criminalize the same group that you claim to identify with? This is particularly disingenuous of you. And shows proof positive of what your real agenda was and is…  To get what you want while continuing the status quo. How truly disappointing.

  References

E. Patrick Johnson, E. (2016). No Tea, No Shade - New Writings for Black Queer Studies. Duke University Press.

[liberationquotes]

I recently asked my students in an upper division Gender and Women’s Studies Feminist Engaged Research course—in which all students are Gender and Women’s Studies majors or minors—a question about that day’s reading we were discussing in class. A student responded with: “It’s all about intersectionality.” My initial question is not particularly relevant, as I have found that students will attempt to answer nearly any question by referencing (the need for and value of) “intersectionality.” I followed up to ask: “What is intersectionality?” My students looked at me blankly. All of my students had been exposed to what they would describe as “intersectionality.” Yet, not one had read the original theory of intersectionality. Not one could accurately describe the theory. Not one had a sense of the genealogy of the term. Not one could think of limits to intersectionality. Some thought that the term refers to moments in which activism and scholarship “intersect,” while others insisted that it refers to the moment when any two or more marginalized identities meet within one person’s life. Not one knew its roots in black feminist theory or critical race theory. I raise this point not because these moments gesture toward some type of feminist pedagogical failure—if only the students learned the material properly!—but because these moments point to the hegemony of discourses of “intersectionality” within Gender and Women’s Studies. In these moments, we can see that, as Ahmed (2012a) suggests, “intersectionality can be used as a method of deflection,” as a way of re-directing attention away from race and racism (195)—and, by extension, from whichever form of marginalization one is working to address—by bringing up other forms of social exclusion. The failure here lies with neither an individual instructor nor student but with a field that has produced so little critical reflection on the limits of “intersectionality” that it figures as that which is largely beyond contest.

Carly Thomsen, “Becoming Radically Undone: Discourses of Identity and Diversity in the Introductory Gender and Women’s Studies Classroom” (via feministfreedomquotes)

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Hey you!

      Do you know what intersectional feminism is? This question has been asked many times before, but still majority of cis male society don’t even know what it means. This is in no way surprising seeing as to how the average cis male can’t come to terms as to what feminism means as a whole. But, what may even surprise more people is that according to a 2015 article on women’s life; “The Feminist movement is in danger of losing momentum unless it recognizes that not every feminist is white, middle-class, cis-gendered, and able-bodied.” Vidal, A. (2014, January 15) So how does this relate to intersectional feminism? Well, intersectionality must do with multiple identities intersecting and overlapping with each other that places one outside of what society categorizes as “normal”. And, what certain people may lead you to believe but, “feminism” is not just about women, it has a broader and richer signification.

      Is it safe to agree that the feminist movement is indeed close to losing the momentum it has built up because of how “feminism” is categorized? I believe so when considering that if you look at social media and most of reports that are done on feminism, they are mostly represented by white cis females. An example of this can easily be seen by googling “recent news in feminism” and clicking any of the articles that come up. Let’s just say what you will see will overall will not be a surprise. can be somewhat saddening that we can advance so far in technology, but when it comes society we still have much to learn. When we start to think about the different identities, roles, profiles, etc. that come along with being a “different” and what those intricacies entail, then hopefully the voices that also need to be heard will finally get a chance.

-By R.R.

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Dear Charles Darwin,

     Women have been the most marginalized group of people in recorded history. The downgrading of women has always been a ploy used by men who seek to control the aspects of a women’s life. Mainstream scientist, such as Charles Darwin, assisted in implementing a superiority complex during the early nineteenth century. However, not much has changed in the twenty-first century. Governments still create laws and policies stating what a women can and cannot do with her body. Women are still viewed as inferior; constantly having accusations swept under the rug. The multifaceted problems women face today is a direct result of the ideologies set forth by Charles Darwin’s The Descent of Man.

     Despite living in the liberal age of American society, there are still social issues that garner attention. Do you think it is fair that men have a say over what happens to a woman’s body, when she can become pregnant or what medicines she can take? Mitt Romney once proposed legislation that would allow an employer to fire a woman for taking birth control (Gay 275). This idea that a man has domain over a woman’s body was first presented by Charles Darwin. Since Darwin was a well renowned as a scientist his beliefs became a part of society’s dominant ideology. Therefore, today’s reproductive battle is due to Darwin.

     Although domestic abuse and sexual assault are against the law, it seems we live in a world where athletes are placed on a pedestal, and overlooking terrible, criminal behavior is the price we are seemingly willing to pay for reverence (Gay 155). Most recently NFL running back, Ezekiel Elliot, has been in the hot seat for domestic violence accusations made by a former girlfriend. Due to his status as a star athlete, he has never been charged with a crime nor faced any punishment. Are athletes or men of elite status so powerful they are above the law? They are certainly not above the law, however, the superiority complex created by Darwin has shaped society in such a way that men get way with “murder”.

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Rita Dove (b. 1952) is a poet and essayist, who served as Poet Laureate Consultant in Poetry to the Library of Congress – the first African-American in the position. She also served as the Poet Laureate of Virginia from 2004 to 2006.

She was the second African-American to ever receive the Pulitzer Prize for Poetry, in 1987. As United States Poet Laureate at age 40, she was the youngest person to ever obtain the role. Other achievements include the 1996 National Humanities Medal and the 2011 National Medal of Arts.

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