if we fall, don't fall away from me/before the dawn has come
chapter four of low lamp light/soothes the soul
I meant to have this up like an hour ago but I got called away from my computer for a bit oops.
a preview:
Ed has been aching lately, all his scars and around his leg port burning and stabbing in turns, so there's probably going to be a storm of some kind soon. He knows Roy is hurting worse; he's had two migraines in the past two weeks, his joints ache from sitting all the time, and Ed knows first hand that the dry winter air isn't the most comfortable on a fresh stump. Not to mention the depression. Ed went through it too, so he kind of expected it, but it's still tough to see his dad soâŚ. empty. He's been doing nothing but sit and stare at the walls for weeks, unable to make real progress with his mobility and not engaged with anything that used to bring him enjoyment. It's worrying Ed and Al both. He's barely spoken a word since coming home, just the occasional response to a question or an attempt from Ed or Al at conversation. Not that Ed can necessarily blame him. It's hard for him to shower, it's hard for him to eat, it's hard for him to move around in his own damned house. They're lucky that the place doesn't have a front step and they could avoid needing a ramp installed, not that he leaves the house. Gracia and Elicia have come by a few times, but it makes Elicia sad that Roy is clearly so damned sad himself, so it isn't often. Al thinks that if he were to join them in going over to the Hughes's place for once, the change of scenery might help him some. Ed agrees. But Roy doesn't want to leave the house. He always declines when they offer. He barely speaks to any of the guys when they drop by. They ended up giving up, after being rebuffed so many times. The only reason he talks to Hawkeye is because she's the one who drives him to his appointments, and that woman has never put up with any of Roy's shit, ever. It hurts to see Roy hurting like this. It fucking sucks. And, admittedly, it's pissing Ed off, a little bit. He overcame blindness, for fuck's sake. The one thing that Ed will ever thank that bastard Hohenheim for. Roy made it through that, and he made it through the grueling physical therapy for his hands after they were impaled, when the odds of him regaining full dexterity were slim to none. He put his head down and did the work, went through fifteen reconstructive surgeries to put his tendons and ligaments back together, and was diligent for months on end in doing his exercises when it was so difficult and painful that it made him cry. He kept his chin up and kept fighting. So why won't he do the same now ?
