Me: Has an intricate plot and world laid out for my WIP, has characters and content I like
Me, trying to explain my WIP to my friends;
trying on a metaphor
we're not kids anymore.
h
DEAR READER
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
RMH
Jules of Nature
d e v o n
Three Goblin Art

⁂
hello vonnie

祝日 / Permanent Vacation

if i look back, i am lost
YOU ARE THE REASON
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Game of Thrones Daily
art blog(derogatory)
Monterey Bay Aquarium
cherry valley forever
TVSTRANGERTHINGS

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@gvknox
Me: Has an intricate plot and world laid out for my WIP, has characters and content I like
Me, trying to explain my WIP to my friends;
for the @guardian review
p.s. you can now pre-order my new book of science cartoons: links here
“happy endings” this “sad endings” that– you can debate the relative merits of each till your mouth goes dry and it’s still not a meaningful binary. Is the ending coherent and emotionally appropriate for the story? Cool.
dear white male writers: DO NOT DO THIS
These horrific, sexist, racist paragraphs - screenshotted and shared for posterity by James Smythe, to whom we are all indebted - are the work of one Liam O’Flynn, a writer and English teacher. Evidently, they come from his book Writing With Stardust: the Ultimate Descriptive Guide for students, parents, teachers, and lovers of English, and are intended as examples of good writing.
UM.
Dear white male writers: DO NOT DO THIS SHIT. IT IS SUPER GROSS AND FETISHISTIC AND ALSO TERRIBLE WRITING. THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS.
Like I just. “Her virility-brown eyes -” WHAT DOES THIS EVEN MEAN? How can you have an “Amazonian figure” ON a “wafer-thin body” when “figure” is a word that describe’s a body’s shape, and Amazonian means pretty much the DIRECT FUCKING OPPOSITE of “wafer-thin” in the first place? What the shitting fuck does ANY of this mean, apart from “I am only nebulously familiar with the concept of women and completely at a loss if I can’t compare their various bodyparts to jewels, animals and footstuffs”?
STOP
GO TO WRITING JAIL
GO DIRECTLY TO WRITING JAIL, DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT $200
tag yourself i’m the two beryl-green jewels in the snow
if her ears frame her nose do they like, grow directly beside her nose? how does she see from them?
*facepalm*
“ Writing With Stardust: the Ultimate Descriptive Guide for students, parents, teachers, and lovers of English “
lovers of english
oh my goddddddd
i can’t get over this fucking post
“I loved her nebulous, eden-green eyes which were a-sparkle with the ‘joie de vivre’. They were like two beryl-green jewels melted onto snow.”
1. what the fuck is joie de vivre
2. melted jewels?
3. beryl green
eden green:
WHICH ONE IS ITTTTTTTTT
@laughlikesomethingbroken “Joie de vivre” is a French phrase that literally translates to “joy of living”, while it IS one of those phrases that gets used in English in this context it is SO EXTRA AND UNNECESSARY OH MY GOD. Don’t use French to make yourself sound sophisticated when you’re NOT I don’t know where to even START. Curvilinear waist? Sugar candy-sweet? What the FUCK are seraph’s ears? Voguish clothes? What the everloving fuck is “constellation blue” supposed to mean??? Like forget the objectification, this writing is horrifying enough before we even get to the embedded sexism
seraph’s ears are ears that you can’t see bc they’re hidden behind her 6 wings
Oyster white teeth?
holy purple prose batman
Female writers do this too. Have you read a Mills and Boon novel? Have you read high school girls’ yaoi fanfics?
Uh oh, we were focusing too much on how a grown man is selling this shit and not enough shitting on teenage girls. Egalitarians here to put an end to that shit.
Guess what? I’ve read A LOT of Harlequin novels and a LOT of fanfic and I have never ever seen anything this horrible at description.
Also, none of those stories were trying to hold themselves up as high examples of the craft
You guys here is the description of the book on Amazon.
If this is the description I cannot think how bad the inside is.
I never ever want to hear anyone make fun of fanfic writers again
NEVER EVER
Lord god almighty. I’ve been feeling really down about my writing lately, but this is a confidence boost. 8I
“single but in a long term relationship”
3.6/5 is entirely too high a Goodreads score for this book
… that second one is describing a dog.
As well as the sexism, racism, purple prose, and general nonsense… “The moons delicate light”? At least learn to use apostrophes correctly before setting yourself up as a writing expert, good lord.
“You will find that this book will transform the way you think about descriptive writing.”
Well it sure did that…
Gosh
If he has the confidence to sell and teach this stuff, you deserve to sell yours too!
I have a few things to say here:
This entire post was a trip.
That last comment is more inspirational than it should be.
What the actual fuck?
OMFG, I thought that was a PARODY 😖😫😭
I need to show this to my english prof, he’s gonna have a heart attack
there is NO WAY to avoid tropes!! everything is a trope!! that doesn’t mean it’s bad!! embrace it!!
At a convention, a famous writer once said “tropes are like gears, if you use them well, they can be an integral part of the engine/plot. Or, you can just throw them on the side and make a steampunk hat”
I took that to mean that tropes are just tools, and, if used right, aren’t even really noticed.
“complaining about a story having tropes is like complaining that a tree is made of wood”
not sure what should happen next in your story?
Embarrass your protagonist. Make them seem weak and vulnerable in some way.
Shoot someone. That always takes the reader by surprise.
In relation, kidnap someone. Or, rather, make it seem to your protagonist like someone has been kidnapped.
Have one of your side characters disappear or become unavailable for some reason. This will frustrate your protagonist.
Have someone kiss the wrong girl, boy, or person, especially if you’ve been setting up a romance angle. It’s annoying.
If this story involves parents, have them argue. Push the threat of divorce, even if you know it won’t ever happen. It’ll make your readers nervous.
Have someone frame your protagonist for a crime they didn’t commit. This could range from a dispute to a minor crime to a full-blown felony.
If this is a fantasy story involving magic or witchcraft, create a terrible accident that’s a direct result of their spell-casting.
Injure your protagonist in some way, or push them into a treacherous scenario where they might not make it out alive.
Have two side characters who are both close to the protagonist get into a literal fist-fight. This creates tension for the reader, especially if these characters are well-developed, because they won’t know who to root for.
Make your protagonist get lost somewhere (at night in the middle of town, in the woods, in someone else’s house, etc.)
Involve a murder. It can be as in-depth and as important as you want it to be.
Introduce a new character that seems to prey on your protagonist’s flaws and bring them out to light.
If it’s in-character, have one of your characters get drunk or take drugs. Show the fallout of that decision through your protagonist.
Spread a rumor about your protagonist.
If your protagonist is in high-school, create drama in the school atmosphere. A death of a student, even if your protagonist didn’t know them personally, changes the vibe.
If your story involves children, have one of them do something dangerous (touch a hot stove, run out into the road, etc.) and show how the protagonist responds to this, even if the child isn’t related to them.
In a fantasy story, toss out the idea of a rebellion or war between clans or villages (or whatever units you are working with).
Add a scenario where your protagonist has to make a choice. We all have watched movies where we have screamed don’t go in there! at the top of our lungs at the main character. Make them go in there.
Have your protagonist find something, even if they don’t understand the importance of it yet. A key, a document, an old stuffed animal, etc.
Foreshadow later events in some way. (Need help? Ask me!)
Have your protagonist get involved in some sort of verbal altercation with someone else, even if they weren’t the one who started it.
Let your protagonist get sick. No, but really, this happens in real life all the time and it’s rarely ever talked about in literature, unless it’s at its extremes. It could range from a common cold to pneumonia. Maybe they end up in the hospital because of it. Maybe they are unable to do that one thing (whatever that may be) because of it.
Have someone unexpected knock on your protagonist’s door.
Introduce a character that takes immediate interest in your protagonist’s past, which might trigger a flashback.
Have your protagonist try to hide something from someone else and fail.
Formulate some sort of argument or dispute between your protagonist and their love interest to push them apart.
Have your protagonist lose something of great value in their house and show their struggle to find it. This will frustrate the reader just as much as the protagonist.
Create a situation where your protagonist needs to sneak out in the middle of the night for some reason.
Prevent your character from getting home or to an important destination in some way (a car accident, a bad storm, flat tire, running out of gas, etc.)
imma need this for when I’m stuck when I start Camp Nano
“My cousin Helen, who is in her 90s now, was in the Warsaw ghetto during World War II. She and a bunch of the girls in the ghetto had to do sewing each day. And if you were found with a book, it was an automatic death penalty. She had gotten hold of a copy of ‘Gone With the Wind’, and she would take three or four hours out of her sleeping time each night to read. And then, during the hour or so when they were sewing the next day, she would tell them all the story. These girls were risking certain death for a story. And when she told me that story herself, it actually made what I do feel more important. Because giving people stories is not a luxury. It’s actually one of the things that you live and die for.” –Neil Gaiman
wow
Via @CheyanneALepka at Twitter.
(ETA: for those who might have been curious, I come down hard in the “lawful plotter” square, since my professional-writing habits became fully formed while I was doing animation work in the late 70s / early 80s, and at that point every piece of film work required an outline before it could be commissioned at the studio. I was already an outliner to begin with, so the habit set in hard and continues to this day [as it still needs to have done for film work. No one will pay you until they know for sure what you’re going to write. And God help you if you venture off-piste, as it were, when your producer’s co-production partners are expecting what appeared in the outline that made them put millions of bucks down on the table in the first place].))
AMMConnect Post
I have many story ideas, and they don’t always start out leaning towards the fantastical, but the second I dive into them there’s always something in my brain that goes ‘oooooo, but what if... magic!’ It’s a problem. Or not. As a certified Big Ol’ Nerd I generally like it better that way. Like many who end up writing, I was a voracious reader when I was a child (same now, though not as much, because Netflix). I love the idea of Author Mentor Match because, even with all the advice you find on the internet these days, trying to claw your way through the trenches of starting a writing career can be very daunting when you don’t have a real person to talk things through with. I’m hoping AMM, even if I’m not chosen, will be an opportunity to build lasting relationships, and widen my writing community to help pull me through to the next step of my professional journey.
Why would I make a good mentee? Oof. That’s a difficult one to answer. I am serious about moving forward, and am willing to put in the time, open to suggestions, etc, but I’m sure that can be said of every other hopeful.
The manuscript I will be submitting is an adult historical fantasy set on the Burma front in World War 2. Orie Acorn is a nurse with the T.A.N.S. who went to a magical world when she was ten, lived a life, and came back to the real world at the exact moment she left. She has existed for years moving from place to place, making no connections. Barely living. When she is assigned to a field hospital on the border of Assam, she meets a man whose childhood closely resembles her own. Relationships are formed, trauma is brought up, trauma is not dealt with well, and, of course, there’s also a war going on in the backyard.
Finally making a Writeblr!
It took me forever, but as I’m working through the latest revisions, I’m finally dipping my toes into the Writeblr side of things. Going to be applying for Author Mentor Match Round 7 next month, so will either be chronicling my successes or failures here! Other than that, just your normal author type posts, with a sprinkling of the books I’m reading, and maybe some crafty things here and there.
So, anyway... here we go!