Light Yagami hated the sound of grinding teeth. He hated it now, even as he ground his own teeth in frustration, tossing over in his bed furiously, holding his pillow over his ears to block out the noise of his, hm, active neighbors. His apartment was relatively nice, and it was paid for entirely by his wealthy detective wife, so he tried not to complain about the little things. Like his neighbors who fucked, loudly, every night from dusk until dawn. He furrowed his eyes closed and tried to remind himself of all the nice things in his apartment- the countertops were made from solid granite, for example.
"Darling, this wet for me already?"
Jesus Christ, Light thought, pulling his blanket up over his head for good measure. It did nothing to block out the croaking moan that infiltrated his ears.
"Gods, you look so good for me, Kermit,"
Like the frog? Light thought to himself. What a stupid name. If I had been born with a stupid name like that I'd probably kill people.
"Joker, please, stop teasing me! I've been so good for you!"
These people are animals. How can anyone be this loud during sex? Light wished his wife were home. They could have sensible, quiet intimacy in the dark like God intended.
Wait is the other guy's name Joker
"AH- TOUCH MY DIRTY MUPPET HOLE, JOKER!"
What the fuck is going on over there?! Light curled into a ball, willing away the heat pooling in his abdomen. He was not about to get hard listening to his neighbor's bizarre role play.
"Oh, I'll touch your muppet hole, alright," the other voice (Joker?) chuckled darkly. "I love when you sing out your love for me..."
"Am, am I being too loud, Joker?"
"No," said Joker. "I would never dream to silence you, no matter how loud you are. I could never be ashamed of you. I would never leave you. I love you for who you are. I love you. I love you."
Light felt inexplicable tears prick at his eyes as, equally inexplicably, he came to the realization that his whole entire hog was throbbing hard. For the beautiful, unconditional love between a muppet and a Joker.
Then Joker got out the Jrap On (Joker Strap On
2087
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