I actually do think we should discourage women from becoming housewives. Do not become financially dependent on a man. That's how a lot of women ended up dead over the years. A man gets violent suddenly and you have to choose between homelessness or potentially dying at his hand because you have an enormous gap in your resume and no degrees or certifications or anything that will help you pursue a career that will allow you to be financially independent. He owns your bank account. His name is probably the one on the car. Try and leave and he can report it stolen. Where will you go then?
Don't become a housewife.
And if you do become a housewife, take steps to protect yourself. Make sure you’re legally married, for starters; stay-at-home girlfriends have very little legal recourse to claim their partner’s assets in a breakup. Make sure your name is on the house deed/rental agreement, and have your car in your name, even if your spouse is paying for it. Have your spouse transfer money every month into an account solely in your name, so you can buy yourself things without needing permission, but also so you can save up to leave if needed.
If your spouse fights you on any of this, then don’t quit your job. The tradwife to poverty pipeline is real, and so is financial abuse.
also, many women/people experience controlling behaviour and domestic violence from their partner for the first time during pregnancy. don’t risk thinking “he’s just stressed, it’ll get better when the baby comes” because it won’t. neither you and your child will ever be safe with that man. get out as early and safely as you can
I knew a woman who was married to her husband for his entire life, and he unfortunately passed away quickly due to cancer. For their entire marriage, he did all the driving, paid all the bills, saw to all the things around the house that needed doing. And because of that this woman didn’t have a shred of ID when he passed away. She hadn’t even been buying her own beer. Or if she was, she wasn’t being carded. Where I live, you can get a government issued photo ID card if you don’t have a driver’s license or passport. She didn’t even have that. My mother (who I think got her fast pass to heaven for this alone) helped her find her birth certificate eventually, but she had been born in a different country so it was a bureaucratic nightmare.
Don’t. Be. A. Housewife. And if you really want to, PLEASE have something in your name. Basic government documents. A bank account. SOMETHING. ANYTHING. You could be happily married to a lovely man for 60 years and he could still die before you, leaving you on your own. You need to know how to provide for yourself alone.
