just like, a bear

Dan. Genderqueer. They / He. 30. Malachitebear on twt & PS4. pfp by @crtastrophic

[thelightcomingthroughthewindow]

Podfic is the ultimate portmanteau btw

[hacash]

someone at the marketing department had a little too much fun with this

[villainessbian]

a challenger

[deep-state-partisan]

[longseasons]

hi handsome

you want me so bad and without fear

[flowerbleedme]

Me: I'll have the waffles

Waiter: Would you like whipped cream on that?

Me: hold on sorry

(takes out phone)

(opens Tumblr)

(creates new post)

(types "she whip me until I cream")

(posts)

(puts phone away)

Me: Sorry. Yes please

[topherchris]

[powerburial]

Where I come from, we don’t worry about these fruity-tuity California style buds. Okay? I’m from Scranton. What i’m smoking is dirt. So lets get that straight jack. Pure brick. Ass. Okay? America- Americans are wanting to smoke that dirt, okay? You go up to someone and say, hey, I’m gonna give you a big bag of this heady bud, but I’m taking your stash of mids, they’re gonna say C’mon man! get out of here! *audience cheers* that’s right. that’s right. Get the hell out of here! We like stems! We like seeds! Where I come from.

[thottielamottie]

this post is scripture to me like this is a seminal text. to me

[juicemetal]

I cannot stop laughing at this porn title . I’m gonna choke

[animentality]

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

last line hit like a mack truck

ink: diamine oxblood

[victusinveritas]

There's worse to come, folks. Strap in and stay strapped.

[thevonntrapp]

Fascists get months and these guys get decades....just incredible how far the USA has fallen.

[victusinveritas]

From PM Press on Instagram:

[1968bullittmustang]

Prairieland ICE protesters sentenced to decades in prison

Activists who didn't plan the protest and left when asked still received 50-year terms.

The Road to Prairieland

The crackdown on anti-ICE activists in Texas reflects a pattern of intensifying repression all around the country.

[victusinveritas]

[vaspider]

Just so we're connecting our dots together, Reed O'Connor is "that Rhode Island hospital should give me all its trans kids records and I pinky swear I won't just give them to the DOJ and I am commanding all the other judges that they don't have jurisdiction, only I do, despite the fact that none of what's happening is actually in my district," among a million other shitty things.

He is a horrible fucking human being and a terrible fucking judge.

[tonysopranoproskater69420]

once you notice half of all memes are just a picture of a black person with unrelated text over them you really cannot unsee it

[tonysopranoproskater69420]

once you notice half of all memes are just a picture of a black person with unrelated text over them you really cannot unsee it

[kamil-a]

I NEED A SICKO… im holding out for a sicko till the end of the night ..and hes gotta haha and hes gotta say yess at the window with a look of delight

[drops-of-universe]

please dont vape your blueberry ice flavor around my kid. we are raising him on marlboro reds exclusively.

[marithlizard]

(via bsky)

In case anyone hasn't heard, the cyclospora outbreak affecting tons of people in the US right now is coming from Taylor Farms produce. Best to stay away from bagged lettuce and prepared salads completely right now, but especially the ones mentioned in the screenshot:

Taylor Farms Earthbound Farms Little Salad Bar (Aldi) Marketside (Walmart) Kroger House Brand Target private label greens Costco salads and greens etc Trader Joe's chopped salad kits and fresh produce Fast food: McDonalds, Taco Bell, (Yum! Brands), Chipotle, Subway, Pizza Hut, KFC, Olive Garden, Top Golf, Red Lobster, Burger King, etc.

This is not the first time I've heard about a Taylor Farms foodborne illness outbreak. I stopped eating their salads after reading a description of the conditions in their facilities. Doesn't sound like they've improved anything.

We need a fully funded and staffed FDA, and regulations with teeth - and that's exactly what we don't have under Trump. To make things worse, the CDC is no longer tracking these outbreaks. We're on our own.

[anglaised]

every remake or reboot of black childhood stuff i grew up with has just been getting more and more diluted its spoooooooky where my girls at…i remember when i was a kid when they lightened orange blossom i wanted to hurt somebody

[anglaised]

like who the fuck is that on the right that is not orange blossom who tf is she

[theonion]

With a vow to destroy the abomination she had created if it was the last thing she ever did, television host Oprah Winfrey has spent weeks on a ship pursuing Dr. Phil through the Arctic, sources reported Tuesday.

Sailors aboard the vessel confirmed that while Winfrey appeared ill and exhausted from continuous exposure to the harsh tundra, she nonetheless spent hour upon hour peering through a brass spyglass and scanning the desolate landscape for any sign of the grotesque TV personality and formerly licensed therapist. Despite the heavy winds and raging sea, the 71-year-old media entrepreneur reportedly urged the ship’s captain to press northward.

Full Story

[randomencounters]

Quest: help Oprah find and destroy Dr Phil

[stagbeetleboy]

Ok if we exclude Palpatine who has the gayest lightsaber?

[stagbeetleboy]

This is Palpatine’s lightsaber btw. He duel wields.

[stagbeetleboy]

Actually it’s genius. It’s is a foolproof design if you don’t want to get caught with a lightsaber

*goes through chancellor’s desk drawers and finds this*

*slowly closes drawer and never mentions it*

[wolviecat]

If you see something…say nothing and drink to forget

[saul-tortellini]

It can't possibly be that blat-