fuck no

I heard that you like the bad girls. Honey, is that true?

[bugkeeping]

met a very confused bee who thought my pants were a flower

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

SOUND ON

[zhe-lazy-fox]

aw confused bee sounds like a chicken XD

[kissaubasard-deactivated2019032]

It is a chicken

[yimmyayo]

[everybidenjusthavegoodtime]

did u know: according to scientists, in October the mitochondria turns into the frightochondria and becomes the haunted house of the cell

[cupcakelirry]

i cant believe 1d really sang the lyrics “i cant be no superman but for you i’ll be superhuman” as if that makes any fucking sense and 2012 us just ate that shit up and made fan art with those lyrics as if they quoted shakespeare

[yeahponcho]

please excuse my grandpa in the background but here’s poncho enjoying her thanksgiving superworms

[mineapple]

i will NOT excuse your grandpa he is INTEGRAL to my enjoyment of this video

[motherhenna]

me, holding my newborn child: what are its stats??

[fattyatomicmutant-deactivated20]

Class: Infant Race: human Strength: 0 can barely support own head Agility 0 needs to learn to walk Intelligence: 2, understands that crying brings food, replacement of soiled garments with fresh ones Wisdom 1 no object permanence Charisma: 20 becuase people lose their shit around babies, -1 for each month until Terrible Twos and all Charisma drops to 1.

HP: 2

Spells per day: Cloudkill, Telepathic Summons, Sleep (casts on Self),

Infant fingernails: does +1 cutting/slashing damage

[quasikool]

#i can tell you this is very fucking accurate #some babies have like .5 strength tho #and agility increases by 1 each month bc if you turn your back theyll roll off stuff immediately

[therubbleoroursins]

I’m fascinated by the fact that Phineas and Ferb is a show that actually exists Like I can understand how someone could have come up with the idea of an animated show about stepbrothers trying to find cool ways to spend their summer vacation And from there I can see how the characters of Candace, Isabella, Beauford, Baljeet, Jeremy, and Stacy came about But at what godforsaken point in the thought process did someone go, “Hey, what if there’s an ongoing subplot about their pet who’s a secret agent trying to stop a German guy from channeling his anger towards his abusive parents into conquering the tri-state area?” Just How

[honexjams]

hes not german hes drusselsteinian check your Facts

[porterr-robinson]

[slumberinggirl-deactivated20210]

Oh my god

[gloriousruin-deactivated2018070]

Jesus fuckin Christ..

[listener-blue]

@concentrated-sunshine

[bunjywunjy]

I like how he managed to both destroy a laptop and annoy a hamster in pursuit of reading the newspaper

[anarchetypalarchive]

i saw this post earlier about therapists and it reminded me of my old therapist paul, who in my opinion is one of the greatest men alive and who did not put up with my bullshit for even one second

anyway i go in to see paul one week in the summer of 2016, and i’m doing my usual bullshit which consists of me talking shit about myself, and paul is staring at me, and then he cuts me off and says that he’s got a new tool for helping people recognize when they’re using negative language, and gets up and goes over to his desk

and i’m like alright hit me with that sweet sweet self-help article my man, because i’m a linguistic learner and whenever paul’s like here i have a tool for you to use it’s pretty much always an article or a book or something

paul opens a drawer, takes something out, and turns back around. i stare.

i say, paul.

is that a nerf gun.

yeah, says paul.

i say, are you gonna shoot me with a nerf gun in this professional setting.

he happily informs me that that’s really up to me, isn’t it. and sits back down. and gestures, like, go ahead, what were you saying?

and i squint suspiciously and start back up about how i’m having too much anxiety to leave the house to run errands, like it was a miracle to even get here, like i’ve forgone getting groceries for the past week and that’s so stupid, what a stupid issue, i’m an idiot, how could i–

a foam dart hits me in the leg.

i go, hey! because my therapist just shot me in the leg. paul blinks at me placidly and raises an eyebrow. i squint again.

i say, slowly, it’s– not a stupid issue, i’m not stupid, but it’s frustrating me and i don’t want it to be a problem i’m having.

no dart this time. okay. sweet.

so the rest of the hour passes with me intermittently getting nailed with tiny foam darts and then swearing and then fixing my language and, wouldn’t you know it, i start liking myself a little more by the end of the session, which is mildly infuriating because paul can tell and he’s very smug about it 

anyway i leave his office and the lady having the next appointment walks in and i hear what’s all over the floor? and paul very seriously says cognitive behavioral therapy tools.

[andrewbiird]

it’s been 3 days and i can’t stop thinking abt these

[polyhorde]

You missed the best part, my friend. These are just two photos from a whole book.

Please, enjoy this smattering of beauty and wonder.

[agent-absinthe]

These make me so happy

[missredherring]

I love all of these, but I am SCREAMING over the last one. 

Those boys are perfect.

[savagebeastrecords]

Stop! THIEF!

[zinnia-apologist-deactivated202]

There is absolutely no way to predict this video

[vladtheunfollower]

Monet’s Pond, Seki City, Gifu Prefecture, Japan. Credit: Hidenobu Suzuki

[cockmcstuffins]

bella was lucky she didn’t have a cell phone of any kind because you know ya boi edward would be blowing up that phone 24-7 going “saw a snail today…. effervescent” or some shit equivalent

[wordsnquotes]

Most of my life has been spent trying to shrink myself. Trying to become smaller. Quieter. Less sensitive. Less opinionated. Less needy. Less me. Because I didn’t want to be a burden. I didn’t want to be too much or push people away. I wanted people to like me. I wanted to be cared for and valued. I wanted to be wanted. So for years, I sacrificed myself for the sake of making other people happy. And for years, I suffered. But I’m tired of suffering, and I’m done shrinking. It’s not my job to change who I am in order to become someone else’s idea of a worthwhile human being. I am worthwhile. Not because other people think I am, but because I exist, and therefore I matter. My thoughts matter. My feelings matter. My voice matters. And with or without anyone’s permission or approval, I will continue to be who I am and speak my truth. Even if it makes people angry. Even if it makes them uncomfortable. Even if they choose to leave. I refuse to shrink. I choose to take up space. I choose to honour my feelings. I choose to give myself permission to get my needs met. I choose to make self-care a priority. I choose me.

Daniell Koepke  (via seulray)

[catsbeaversandducks]

Mama Hens And Their Babies

Via Bored Panda

[cryoverkiltmilk]

These are such good chickens

[impossiblejellyfishfart]

I can’t get over the ostriches because they ARE AS BIG AS HER

[bogleech]

hey did you know how big an albatross was because I

VERY

fucking

did not

[ayellowbirds]

i’m so glad people are learning this.

[cryoverkiltmilk]

I… I knew in numerical values how big they were, but I’ve never seen them next to humans before

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

A LORGE BIRB

[witchyrem-ains]

I thought albatross was another word for “seagull” not for “terror of the fucking sky”

[zoreta]

The reason albatross are so huge is because they need huge wings for their unique lifestyle.

Albatross can go months, if not over a year without seeing land. There is a pocket of air trapped between wave fronts and they just ride ontop of it. To make that work, they need huge wings. If the winds die they rest on the surface, and wait for the winds to return; the huge wings mean it’s not worth it to fly any other way. When they need to eat they pluck fish and squid from the surface, and sometimes dive. Nobody is entirely sure if they sleep on the wing, and if so, how.

The large wings also mean that taking off and landing are the hardest parts of flying for an albatross. Generally they avoid it, but for nesting and resting, it’s unavoidable.

Albatross have complex mating dances, and selecting a mate can take years; as they narrow down partners they create their own dancing language that they invent themselves. Once half of a pair has died, that dance is lost. These couples do not travel together once their chick has grown (and it is always a single chick at a time). Instead they will separate to travel the world, not seeing each other again until it is time to return to the island they themselves hatched from, as have hundreds of generations before them. Wanderers, who always find their way home.

[supremesaudi]

She was poetry, but he couldn’t read.”

[i-hold-the-snitch]

His name was jarred hes nineteen

[oliveweed]

Lmfaoooo 😂 I FUCKING MISS VINE 😩😩