Fandomphile

I belong to so many fandoms, and this is where I collect the things that make me laugh.  So I made that art blog after all.  marvels-my-muse for anyone who wants to see my crappy colored pencil sketches

[habanerohardcandy]

Christmas compulsion

Christmas is a difficult time for me.  Always has been.  So while I’ve been at work, my brain has been percolating in poetry.  I was compelled to write down some of the myriad feelings I have regarding this time.  

All these photos of happy families Dressed up in their Christmas jammes Clogging and cluttering up my feed I feel frustration rise And it comes as no surprise To identify this feeling as greed

Their joy is not something I know Holidays just go to show That my family knows not who I am Despite all my hopes and talking I empty out my stocking To find that no one heard or gave a damn

Tis the season to be jolly With evergreen and holly But tempers flare with the faintest spark They say they see the light And they sing O Holy Night But I have seen all their eyes go dark

They wish me a Merry Christmas And then ask me where this is If we are out, I see their bright mood leave Their demeanor turns quite scary But if so necessary Why wait to shop until Christmas Eve?

Outside is the jingling of the bell But all the ringers tell Is despite my donation I will burn So past their calls I trudged Judge not lest ye be judged What awaits you when it is your turn?

They say good will to man Spending all they can But ignoring those who truly are in need It’s material and crass And thoroughly burns my ass To see such blatant forms of greed

The carolers they sing The joyful noises bring Peace and hope and light begin to surge But when I try my hand To accompany the band My carol becomes a Christmas dirge

There must be something that I miss Under mistletoe they kiss But even that gives me no peace of mind I’ll hide out after Halloween Just to avoid this scene And perhaps then, I’ll find my own kind

But I plaster a smile on my face Don my hat with bells and lace And fake my festive self for one more year But they never care to see How much this act is hurting me And the twinkle in my eye is just a tear

So as you wage your Christmas war Remember what this time is for Would Jesus be proud or filled with shame? He died for us in love So can you rise above And act according to his name?

Can’t it be a quiet celebration Of charity, illumination Of giving not receiving just one time Remembering his birth Working toward some peace on earth And only then toward heaven do we climb

[americanairliines-deactivated20]

Old hag by *veprikov

Being a witch is not the highest paid job in the world.

[nonimaginaryfriend]

I JUST WANT HER TO GET HER PRETTY PURPLE HAT AND BE HAPPY

[themc4s]

I would kill for a companion piece to this, where she gets her hat..

[zeebardbaird]

Im sobbing.

[mommakankri]

no seriously why hasn’t any replied to this image with a picture of her in the pretty hat c’mon tumblr please

[plintoon-reblogs]

Well it’s not much, but here’s a comic: 

Enjoy!

[mommakankri]

DEAD

[oldfrax]

Reblog every one of these happy end comics I don’t even care

[weloveshortvideos]

Condom filled with tea

[yukaryote]

It’s 4:41am, my insomnia is in full swing, and as soon as I unmuted this I skipped the laughing and went straight to crying.

[catgifcentral]

[buttplugger6969]

Me

[gombear-deactivated20210408]

I’m the cat

[runcibility]

This has an infomercial vibe to it, and I can just hear the narrator saying “Does your cat keep savaging your butthole? THERE’S GOT TO BE A BETTER WAY!”

[horreurscopes]

a few fun octopus facts:

their arms are similar to our tongues in that their muscle fibers are  oriented in three different directions 

octopuses are disconcertingly strong (anecdotal evidence says that a 15 inch wide octopus was as strong as the scientist handling it)

on that note that same scientist said that when her octopuses escaped she would have to run behind them, “like cats” (paraphrased from sy montgomery’s the soul of an octopus)

aquariums have “octopus enriching programs” so they don’t get bored and fuck shit up in their tanks

they are crazy smart like. really. really fucking smart 

but we can’t compare their intelligence to ours because our evolution branched from the same common ancestor so long ago we cannot comprehend how they think

it’s believed that their intelligence evolved when they lost their shell, and had to adapt to predict how countless of different prey and predators would act, how to avoid them, distract them, lure them or trick them 

they visualize how other creatures are going to act, which means they have have awareness that others are individuals which is a type of consciousness but i can’t remember what it’s called right now 

like, they use tools 

they have distinct personalities 

aquarium octopuses are socialized from a very young age and even though in the wild they are solitary creatures they become extremely friendly with enough human exposure

sometimes they dislike people for no apparent reason and will shoot water at them

they have three hearts 

each of their arms has a tiny brain that controls movement and sensory input on its own i shit you not

they are color blind and yet they can camouflage their color and nobody knows how 

they can change the color and texture of their skin faster than human eyes can keep up with it

great pacific octopuses are white when they are peaceful, and red when they’re excited 

aquarium octopus have escaped their tanks and slithered down pipes into the ocean 

escaped their tanks to eat the fish in other tanks 

escaped their tanks to go fight other octopuses cuz they were bored

octopus fight club

learned how to take photographs

cost thousands of dollars by flooding new floors

they can feel, taste, and smell with their suckers and all of their skin

they enjoy tasting their food by slowly moving it through their suckers instead of shoving it in their beaks

they can rewrite their rna. no, really

the only reason why they haven’t evolved to take over as the next dominant race is because they’re doing pretty well  in the ocean so there’s no need for them to adapt further 

there’s a ton more but i’m so overwhelmed by love i can’ think of any at the moment i’m going to cry

read the soul of an octopus by sy mongomery no she didn’t pay me i just love octopuses so much 

[why-animals-do-the-thing]

Also:

learned to shoot out the annoying light over the tank

hid in floor drains when caught out of their tanks by researchers

hid the shells of crabs stolen from a tank under a third, unrelated tank

Sy is a wonderful human and a great researcher. NEAq actually named a GPO after her in honor of all her work on octopuses. (Or octopi, or octopodes - they’re all correct). Definitely read that book. 

[linddzz]

-liked being splashed. Figured out that spitting water would have keepers splash back in response

- learned to spray 45°F water everywhere to demand splashes

-likes taking brushes from divers. Knows the best way to do this was to sneak up from underneath or reach over the shoulder

-will wait until keepers are looking away/distracted to grab stuff and knows exactly how far to sink down to get out of reach

-seriously octos are huge thieves. If you have something in your hand, they want it. As soon as they grab it, it belongs to them. There’s no food and they have no use for it? Doesn’t matter it’s their thing now.

-we lost a magnet scrubber for three days because one stole it from the interns. Every time she let it go and we reached a net to get it, she would snatch it out of the net and drag it back into the den. By the time we got it back she had torn apart the scrub pad

-honestly it’s like keeping an aquatic possessive 8-legged cat

[agentumbls]

All i’m getting from this is

Cats, corvids, and octopi

Land air and sea

[thenatsdorf]

View this post on Instagram

Irish dancing.

[thewieneryears-deactivated20130]

Moss Graffiti: A How To Guide

[missythemermaid]

are you fucking for real

[revesducirque]

Imagine being the criminal who returns weekly to make sure his fucking plant art is doing alright

[arthyradio]

Later

[atombombbunny]

I found it! I fucking found it! In my fucking dash! Nothing can stop me now! *EVIL GIGGLES*

[male-witch]

OMG SAME RIGHT I SAW IT A YEAR AGO AND WAS UPSET I COULDNT FIND IT AGAIN

[cryptids-and-muses]

This is good to know

[randomshitpostistan]

this is useful to my interests

[gifaknet-deactivated20181110]

[oscar--boscar]

A very excited boy

[turing-tested]

fun personality quiz here  :) don’t take it if you’re paranoid but you agree with the results let me know!

[s3nnr3nn-deactivated20181016]

okay so the paranoia thing was definitely a useful warning because I was a stubborn little dick and took it anyway, and now my heart’s racing BUT the results were honestly freakishly accurate how the fuck did you get that much about me from weird blurry shape preferences

[lilitasticc]

anyway so this post is a psychological horror game.

[ozcorvo-deactivated20181023]

I didn’t come to be called out like this

[cyberphuck]

…………………….

[scripturient-manipulator]

It did get my paranoia tingling a little but also what the fuck how is this so accurate what the hell??? And it’s not one of those personality tests where it’s broad enough that the same answer can be given every time and feel like it’s specific to each person because there are different answers you can get? Like what the fuck it’s not entirely accurate but it’s damn close.

[jade-island-lives]

I…I was mortified for a bit…oh my god no…it’s close, really close, but my anxiety hit 9 real freaking quick ;~;

[bripnk-deactivated20230214]

What the fuck this is fucking weird as he’ll I have literally been feeling like people are taking advantage of me how did it know this from those weird questions

[jade-island-lives]

I know right??? I can’t be the only one who had anxiety over this!

[raduim]

[babyanimalgifs]

Bengal Tiger with a watermelon

[llatimeria]

(source)

[llatimeria]

i’d like to point out that when i made this post, all of these comments were at the top, but now if you look at the thread they’ve been replaced by completely different comments 

so please, for the love of god, look at the source link this thread is a neverending source of entertainment. people have added so much fucking shit since i made this

[greenandhazy]

I was proctoring an exam for a student today while reading these, and I had to stop because I got to this one and almost fucking died

[curlicuecal]

these are making my day

[curlicuecal]

Okay, this one’s killing me:

[thebabbagepatch]

These ones got me:

[pbandjesse]

Ooohhh noo I can’t breathe and there are literal tears streaming down my face

[cricketcat9]

Have a very, VERY good laugh people

[nightmarekite-deactivated201505]

Why do I want polyamorous representation?

Because when someone doesn’t want to date me because I’m poly it’s ‘understandable’ but when I don’t want to date someone because they are monogamous it’s ‘ridiculous.’

Because all relationship advice tells you that if you have feelings for someone else while you’re in a relationship you’re a bad person.

Because even feminists try to slut shame me.

Because when I tell people me and my partner have an open relationship they assume it’s because we’re going through a rough patch.

Because people equate ‘multiple partners’ with ‘predator’ and think everything I say is an attempt to get in their pants.

Because I am fed up of love triangles as easy plot devices in my media.

Because the LGBTQA+ movement are so desperate to show ‘allies’ they are ‘just like everyone else’ that they shit on everyone with a non-monogamous dynamic.

Because when a monogamous couple have sex with each other every night it’s having an active sex drive. When I have sex with a different partner every night I’m a nymphomaniac.

Because people think that monogamy = validity, always.

Because monogamous hetronormativity is so ingrained that I don’t even feel like I can dance with someone without telling them the complete logistics of my love life.

Because people genuinely believe that raising a child communally is damaging to development.

Because when I say ‘I could never be monogamous’ I get dirty looks.

Because too many people have tried to confide in me when they’re cheating because ‘I thought you, of all people, would understand.’

Because I can’t talk about my relationship troubles with my monogamous friends because ‘I always have something to fall back on.’ As if my relationships are meaningless.

(please reblog and add more if you like)

[my-poly-life-ramblings]

Let’s keep adding guys!

[genderphobia-deactivated2018101]

wow i love this a lot

[ifridiot]

because my genuine love for my partners is twisted into ‘greed’ by outsiders

because, after hearing that i live in a situation where i’m fairly isolated and don’t get to see my partners often, i’ve been told by multiple people that have more than one partner is just my way of ‘coping’

because i get asked grossly invasive questions like ‘are you open for sex with any/everyone?’ and ‘do you hold orgies?’

because my love is constantly questioned by people outside my relationships

[nuiissilly-blog]

Because I got told its just a fancy way of saying you’re a cheater

[pansexual-pied-piper]

PSA if you shit on polyam, you’re an asshole.

[imbludabadedabadi-deactivated20]

Because I’ve heard from multiple people that it’s “gross” to be in a relationship with more than one person.

Because people think that if there’s more than one person in a relationship then “something’s wrong with your relationship”

Because I don’t want to be scared to talk about something my datefriend’s girlfriend/my datefriend and his girlfriend did that I found relatable or cute

Because we should be able to talk about polyamorous relationships without being judged or feeling weird about it or being scared that you might lose a friend.

[ubdq-not-mxolh-deactivated20190]

Because “wait, i thought you were athiest”

Because I don’t want to worry about what people think when I talk about “my girlfriends”

Because I don’t want to be seen as some player because I have /two/ girlfriends

Because when I say I have two girlfriends with a bright smile, somebody goes “wait you have /two/?!” As if its something bad I’ve done

Because “do they know about each other?” Like everything I do with either girlfriend is infidelity towards the other

Because I have to be careful about everything I say about my relationship in fear I’ll say something and attack one or both of my girlfriends

Because every time I hear “Wait, who are your girlfriends?” I suddenly feel very afraid, like I’ve done something wrong or horrible

Because even if I know it’s alright, people are shitty to where I feel afraid to be happy when talking about the cute things my girlfriends have done

Because everything in media tells me that everything about my happiness is disgusting, and that because I love multiple people, I should be shamed or attacked

[imbludabadedabadi-deactivated20]

Because we deserve to talk about relationships and be happy about them without being judged too.

[ubdq-not-mxolh-deactivated20190]

^^^

[thetrashthatsmilesback]

Support our polyamorous brothers, sisters, and nonbianary siblings!!!

[venus-star13]

Reblog if you’re polyamorous, support polyamorous people, or think polyamorous people and relationships are valid

[a-valathorn-deactivated20250312]

I’m actually crying right now because it isn’t often that I see poly positive posts. Thank you so much for this.

[venus-star13]

You’re welcome. 💙

[wonderfullyace]

Reblog this to make someone like that person’s day

[princey-must-slay-deactivated20]

As a polyamorous person, I shall reblog 😁

[inactiveaccount12345678]

My roomba is scared of thunderstorms

I was sitting at my desk just a few minutes ago, drawing, and a really loud crack of thunder went off–no power surges or anything, just thunder–and my roomba fled from its dock and started spinning in circles

I currently now have an active roomba sitting quietly on my lap

[darthflamingo]

@fialleril

[starksinner]

[ YOU ARE A HERO ]

•Tony Stark would want you to become your own legacy.

•Peter Parker would want you to be better. There’s a hero in all of us that keeps us honest, gives us strength, and makes us noble.

•Steve Rogers would want you to stand up for what you believe in. Your opinions matter. Don’t let anyone tell you other wise. 

•Logan would want you to write your own story. You don’t have to be what they made you. You have the power to make your own choices.

•Wade Wilson would want you to be happy. It is okay to laugh. It is okay to smile. Don’t let the world take away your happiness. 

•Bucky Barnes would want you to move forward. Your past does not define you. Your decisions do not determine who you are; your actions do.

•Matt Murdock would want you to know that the important things in life cannot be seen. What is essential is invisible to the eye.

•Jessica Jones would want you to be strong. Never doubt your strength or power.

•Frank Castle would want you to seek out the truth. The truth cannot be long hidden; you must reach out for it.

•Clint Barton would want you to protect the ones you love. The people you care about make life worth living.

•Bruce Banner would want you to learn from your mistakes. It is our mistakes that shape who we are.

•Bruce Wayne would want you to fight for justice. You have the power to make an impact.

•Barry Allen would want you to face your problems; not run away from them.

•Diana Prince would want you to be resilient and empowering. You are the love that will change the world.