Hanlubi

She/her ||| This blog is pretty random. I talk about everything that interests me. Some topics to be expected: ADHD, mental health/illness (depression, social anxiety disorder), my current hyperfixation, stuff happening in my life and the world |||

[growingingreenwood]

Also, I was going through your posts here and it came to me: when did Elrond realized that Thranduil was just That Old?? And how exactly did he reacted?

Not only Thranduil's father was one of the awakened (and he's pretty much part of Thingol's family), but also that his best friend for a long while was Luthien of all people??? That he saw The Fucking Sun come up on the sky for the first time?? Idk why but I'm sure that whatever reaction he had was the funniest thing for Thranduil to witness for some good time lmaokdjs

Hello lovely, thank you for the ask!! (and all your reviews!!!!!!!) 

To be honest, I don’t think that Elrond, being the avid horder of history that he is, would necessarily be surprised about Thranduil’s actual chronological age (especially because that his Mother and Father in law are also Old As All Hell, in the the case of Celeborn lived in the same city as Thranduil for most of the early days.)

What I DO think shocked Elrond so badly he nearly snorted wine out of his nose on several occasions is the casual comments about exactly what shenanigans Thranduil was up to or otherwise experienced the entire time. And also probably gave him several heart attacks as Thranduil altered his entire perspective on historical events/ people. 

For Example #1 

Elrond: “Celeborn once told me that the only competition that Beleg Cuthalion was ever disqualified from for poor sportsmanship was during a match that was with you.”  Thranduil: “Sounds about right. If I recall correctly, I was also disqualified for poor sportsmanship during that match.”  Elrond: “Wow, you two must have hated each other or something to get so carried away.”  Thranduil: “Not at all. Beleg owed me a favor and so I got him to throw the match so that another could win.” 

Example #2 

Elrond: “I read somewhere that the first sunrise was the most beautiful one, and that nothing will ever come close again.”  Thranduil: “I mean, if you consider going Entirely Blind from the strength of the light with literally zero warning as ‘beautiful’ then, yeah, sure. It's irreplaceable.” 

Example #3 

Thranduil, to mostly Celeborn and Celebrian after another song in the Hall of Fire about how Beautiful and Perfect Luthien was: “Once, Luthien and I stole an entire barrel of wine and tried to see if we could drink it all before either of our fathers found us and at some point she got sick at such a velocity that it launched overtop of the entire dining room table without a single drop touching it.  Thranduil after Elrond nearly choked to death in front of him: “When we went to go clean it up there was an entirely unchewed piece of dried jerky which she had apparently swallowed whole, like some kind of feral Warthog.” 

At least half the stress of each of Thranduil's visits is Elrond's constant anticipation of some truly Unhinged and (previously) Unreported Lore about history's favorite elves being given to him at any moment. 

He’s also never sure when or if Thranduil is making everything up just to get a reaction from him, and Elrond will never know because Thranduil Literally Does Not Care if Elrond believes him or not and therefor refuses to go into any more detail of offer supporting evidence for his claims. Unless of course, the supporting Lore is somehow even more unhinged than the original earth shattering revelation.

[han-lubi]

Fun fact: my cat learned the command sit faster than my dog. She listens better as well. It's very cute

[llatimeria]

[inkskinned]

“if you take medication for that, you’ll be taking medication all your life!!” yeah, and?? bud, i already put on my glasses every morning. it’s like. a condition of mine, not a side hobby i’m pursuing irresponsibly. 

[lady-harrowhark]

and the thrilling sequel: “taking meds for that is the easy way out!” right you are my dude, i’m a huge fan of not making things harder than they have to be

[seventytwoowls]

STOP RECORDING QUEER PEOPLE WITHOUT THEIR CONSENT AND POSTING IT ONLINE YOU ARE PUTTING US IN DANGER‼️‼️‼️

AT SOCIAL GATHERINGS AT PRIDE IN THE STREET DOESN’T MATTER ASK THEIR PERMISSION‼️‼️‼️‼️

EXISTING IN PUBLIC NO MATTER HOW “WEIRD”≠ CONSENT TO BE IN A WANNABE INFLUENCER’S VIDEO FOR ALL TO SEE

[cicadahorizon]

STOP RECORDING PEOPLE IN GENERAL ‼️ ITS FUCKING CREEPY AND YOU COULD BE ACTIVELY PUTTING THEM IN DANGER ‼️‼️ YOU DON'T KNOW WHO'S HIDING FROM SOMETHING OR JUST LEFT A BAD SITUATION ‼️‼️ ALSO EVEN IF THEY WERENT YOU STILL SHOULDN'T RECORD THEM WITHOUT PERMISSION AND OPEN THEM TO RIDICULE AND HAVING TO DEAL WITH A VIDEO THEY DONT WANT ONLINE ‼️‼️‼️ HAVE SOME BASIC FUCKING DECENCY ‼️‼️‼️

[queer-wizard-dad]

[zhong-leigh-deactivated20240811]

Important question, whether you're early diagnosed, late diagnosed or self diagnosed autistic: how did you figure out your special interest? Like I know a special interest is an intense interest in a subject (or more) that can involve collecting objects, collecting info, brings the person immense joy, helps connecting with other people and regulate and such, but HOW DID Y'ALL KNOW YOURS??

(also feel free to tell me what your special interest is or even info dump!!!)

[mercuryfountain-deactivated2024]

if you want young queers to want to associate with elder queers then maybe the culture shouldn't be so ridiculous and over the top. I get second hand embarrassment from drag queens and leather daddies and kinksters in puphoods acting like they represent all gays

I would much rather be represented by drag queens, leather daddies and pups than by petulant cowards afraid of their own reflection. You are talking about people who never had the option of being seen as "normal people who just happen to be gay" and channeled their pain into self expression, community and art. And who are you? You define yourself not in terms of who you are and what you create but in terms of who you are not and what you lack. These people you hate only seem larger than life because your life is too small and insignificant to fit them.

[ndcultureis]

ND culture is wondering what your missing out on not being in the popular normal group, not learning how to do make up, not competing in every way people compet for romantic partners, you just do it the old fashioned way minus make up? But what if? You know?

.

[cannibalchicken]

[enbyzombies]

"what but I love neurodivergent people" yeah until they're fat, unconventionally attractive, visibly disabled, or show any actual symptoms of neurodivergency like not understanding social cues, having poor volume control, make small talk even if youre not interested, make noises on public transport, seriously misinterpret something you've said, need you to rephrase something, don't understand how to do something and need you to explain multiple times before they get it, or inconvenience you even slightly.

[enbyzombies]

like sure you reblog stimboards and autism positivity posts and know the words executive function but if you walked into a room full of neurodiverse would you be able to last a minute with all the contradicting needs without mocking someone on your blog about how "some people just have no manners" or whatever

[vonkarn]

i’m like the worst autistic adhd haver ever. i don’t know shit about my interests. i know i like em and that’s it.

[mythicalcoolkid]

I love the "glasses are disability" thing because it applies to basically every complaint abled people have about disability

"You're not even that bad, why would you get that?" Have you ever used a magnifying glass for small details or zoomed in on a picture

"Why do you have that accommodation TODAY?" Why do you wear reading glasses when you're reading

"It seems like your 'needs' are inconsistent." Yeah and you wear sunglasses when it's sunny and not all the time

"But you can technically walk without that." Yeah and if I put the page really close to your face you could read it, it would just hurt and be hugely impractical, inconvenient, and limiting

"But you COULD go without it all the time, you don't NEED it to live." And maybe you could technically see without your glasses, doesn't mean it's comfortable or practical day to day

"If you REALLY had a hard time seeing you would have glasses." Have you ever known someone who couldn't afford a new pair of glasses? Or eye appointments? Someone who needed vision therapy or special prism glasses? Someone whose vision only gets bad during migraines or seizures? Someone with astigmatism that glasses can't help? Someone who didn't qualify for LASIK?

"You only use it when you're out in public." Have you ever gotten up to use the bathroom at night without putting on your glasses

"Decorating it is just trying to get attention, and it's a medical device so stop glamorizing it." Do you hate any patterned or colorful glasses frames too? Art with characters who wear glasses? People who make OCs with glasses? Glasses chains, prescription sunglasses, aesthetic fake glasses with tinted lenses?

"There are secretly lots of people just using aids for fun and attention." There are secretly lots of people wearing fake glasses or colored contacts for fun and attention, it does not affect you

"We need to find fakers, they're stealing disabled resources!" Someone pretending to need glasses is "taking" a seat in the front from someone who might need it more. That sucks and they shouldn't do that. But I'm not going to scrutinize every person who wears glasses to see if I think they really need that seat. You personally are not the arbiter of who is (based on the random times you've seen them) secretly not disabled

"My friend has that and doesn't act like that." Does every pair of glasses in production, or even every pair close to your prescription, work for you? Is your vision identical to every other nearsighted person?

"If you can do X why can't you do Y? Some people with that can do Y."/"But if you have that how can you do X? People with that can't usually do X." Some people are nearsighted and some people are farsighted and some people are both. Some farsighted people can read some without glasses and some can't. And good distance vision doesn't mean you don't ever need glasses, it's just an entirely different reason you'd need glasses

"You're too young to need that." And there are young people who need bifocal lenses

"Why don't you use this DIFFERENT aid though, it would look like you didn't even have an aid." Why doesn't everyone in the world wear contacts

"Why can't I/my friend/my kid play with it?" Do you let random strangers and children try on your glasses at the grocery store

"I was just trying to help, I thought you'd need a push/you were in the way." Are you cool with me suddenly pulling your glasses off your face to clean them, or because the glare was distracting me

"You'll eventually stop using it though right?" Are you planning on no longer needing glasses someday

Disabled people are free to add

I am aware this is not a 1-to-1 perfectly accurate post. Do not come into the notes trying to "um actually this isn't a perfect comparison." I know. Just don't

[yourlocaladhder]

Does anyone else have problems figuring out how many friends they have cuz you don't know at what point you're supposed to count them as "friends" ?

[fillthedarkvoid]

Yeah if somebody does not specificaly say we are friends now, I find it so hard to figure out if we are friends.

[yourlocaladhder]

I hear you. For me, lots of people call me friend but that doesn't necessarily mean I reciprocate. I still have to evaluate where they stand in my life.

[snail-is-wired]

growing up neurodivergent is just.

"why are you doing that. its weird"

"the way you laugh is weird."

"the way you dress is weird"

"why does your face look like that?"

"why aren't you happy with my gift"

"why don't you talk more"

"why do you talk so much"

"you're annoying"

and then as an adult:

"why are you always worried about what people think of you?"

[autistic-af]

Just an important reminder, both to myself and for others:

Social media can be a very large echo chamber. In this case, I mean it can make it seem like autism is very similar. That we are mainly level 1's, a dash of level 2's and the rare level 3.

Approximately 30-40% of Autistics are non-speaking.

Approximately 30% of Autistics have an intellectual disability.

Yes, online is very much an echo chamber where you're unlikely to come across many others not like you. But it's important not to spread misinformation, to not assume and to try to teach the wide ways that autism can show.

This is a strong reminder to myself as to why I run this page, why I open myself up to nasty comments, rude behaviour, and (rare) hate. And why I am always trying to learn. It's uncomfortable to run this blog sometimes, but I hope that people are learning that they are not alone.

[captain-lewis]

what the fuck is an autism level 1 /gen /nm

[autistic-af]

@johnradams

Autism levels are the levels of support an autistic needs. They replaced functioning labels and are not liked by everyone.

Level 1 - Needs Support

Level 2 - Needs Substantial Support

Level 3 - Needs Very Substantial Support

[birdofmay]

And the support is about communication, dependence on routines, etc., not about if you can dress yourself (BADLs) or cook a meal (IADLs) - support levels and support needs are often mixed up on Tumblr ☝🏼

[autistic-af]

☝️ Yes.

The 3 Levels of Autism

Level 1

Requiring support

Trouble understanding and following social rules

Rigid or inflexible behavior

Some stress during transitions

May benefit from therapy or life skills coaching

Level 2

Requiring substantial support

Atypical social behavior, like walking away mid-conversation

High interest in specific topics

Noticeable distress when faced with change.

May need school accommodations like reading help or social skills support

Level 3

Requiring very substantial support

Severe communication deficits, such as being nonspeaking

Repetitive behaviors like rocking or spinning

Extreme distress when asked to switch tasks

May need one-on-one time with an education assistant and may use augmentative and alternative communication (AAC) tools, like picture symbols

[skunkes]

[95wonder]

No. I know this is probably just a casual commiseration but I think it's a real and important question to ask and answer. If doing the stuff you're expected to do everyday is super hard, then something is probably wrong.

Anyone who relates to this too hard, I'd recommend looking up spoon theory and starting to make a record of how you feel and your experiences that you can bring up with some kind of health professional. Chances are if doing laundry feels like climbing everest, it's because you're disabled in some way. Whether that disability is some invisible chronic illness or depression or ADHD or burnout, *something* is wrong.

Almost all disabilities have some form of treatment or accommodation that can make your life easier. If you can get a diagnosis, you might also be eligible for official accommodations and benefits. Social security sucks ass and is almost impossible to access but like, it's not the only thing out there set up to help disabled folks and usually local organizations are gonna be better anyway.

Plenty of people reblogging this probably already know they're disabled in some way but if even 1 person sees this and can learn something important about themselves then it's worth saying.

TLDR: people who aren't disabled don't find acts of daily living extremely hard. Maybe look into that and see if you can get help making your life less hard.

Sincerely, a multiply disabled person.

[kiricat]

This is super important okay. Like, I used to try to ask my conservative family/church/etc. for help, and they’d just be all, “suck it up; life is hard for everyone; quit being such a baby”... and then I went to, like, actual experts, and they were basically like, “um, wow, you’re clearly super depressed and suicidal; you should actually be proud of yourself for still being alive!” And I’m still trying to unlearn the former and accept the latter, even after all this time. And I’m so mad that I’ve wasted so much time just trying to “push through it” instead of getting help I clearly need(ed), and that’s still a thing I struggle with.

Please, please seek real help if you need it. Like, I understand that there are shitty doctors and shitty therapists and whatnot, but it’s so worth expending what effort you can to find good ones who can help. If you have mentally ill friends -- which, if you’re reading this in the first place, you almost certainly do -- they might be able to point you in the right direction.

[ledeadface]

[ID: a screenshot from the Too Afraid to Ask reddit that reads: "How do people just so stuff? Is life not incredibly hard for everyone?" /end ID]

[eatember]

I have a friend with insane ADD and we have this same conversation sometimes

She can't actually even define laziness (which is weird) but she thought she was just lazy, life was that hard for everyone, and that everyone else was just being more responsible at managing it. I told her laziness feels good once and she blue screened.

Like if you can't define laziness, you've probably been convinced it's something that it's not. Probably something nebulous and hard to describe. Like, idk, an unknown disorder.

In case you're one such person, laziness feels great. It's not stressful. It's like the opposite of stressful. If you're being stressed and lazy at the same time you've managed to do it wrong somehow. The only struggle in being lazy is wanting the tv remote and being to darn comfortable to want to move. (But you get it anyways, because it's not an inability to get the remote. You were just cozy.)

Think of it like a cat sitting near a warm heater or a hamster so relaxed it "melts". If there were danger, or if the animal were hungry, it would get up. It probably doesn't want to get up because it's comfortable but it will. If the hamster is actually genuinely hungry but it can't get up and it's just laying there stressed and starving, you would take your animal to the vet because it has a problem.

[dollsonmain]

That’s how it was for me growing up, too. I seriously thought everyone was constantly exhausted, confused, and in pain like I was and I was just really, really bad at dealing with it, didn’t want to try hard enough, and was just lazy.

[bostonbakeddeans]

Additional gentle reminder that the regular amount of unidentifiable/unexpected pain is none. The normal amount of unidentifiable/unexpected pain is none.

Sore the next day after a workout? Makes sense.

Sore for the next week after a workout? Not normal.

Barked your shin on a low coffee table and have an ache/bruise? Expected.

Gently brushed past the doorframe and your arm feels like it's on fire? Not normal.

Joint pain in your teens/20's is not normal. Heart problems in your teens/20's are not normal. Continual (AKA chronic!) fatigue despite diet/sleep schedule is not normal.

If you cannot point to an event or series of events that caused the discomfort/pain you are experiencing ("I fell off my bike", "I walked 3 miles", "I slept poorly", "I haven't been getting all the nutrients I need"), it's probably not normal! And it is okay to want that discomfort/pain to stop, even if it's mild! Most people are not going through their daily lives consistently uncomfortable or in pain.

Most people are not going through their daily lives uncomfortable or in pain.

You deserve to be comfortable and to have things be easy. Whether that looks like readjusting your life and expectations or getting professional help (medical/mental/other), you deserve it. I promise.

[kazaera]

Addendum to the laziness discussion:

I (autistic + currently in assessment for ADHD) too did the thing where I called myself lazy for so very long, and the way I was using the word laziness made the concept lose all meaning. For instance:

Laziness is a choice. If you are sitting somewhere feeling that you would like to do something but just can’t, if you are unhappy about the fact that something isn’t done, that’s... not laziness.

(side note: I despise the “don’t say you can’t do something say you won’t” narrative, because for me the opposite was what was truly freeing, groundbreaking, and seriously improved my life - the realisation that often when I wasn’t doing shit it was a can’t in play, that I needed to figure out how to deal with that. Attempting to convince myself that I could totally do the thing if I wanted only ever did harm.)

If you are being “lazy” about something you actually really want to do, that’s almost certainly not laziness. (Shout out to past me, too “lazy” to go to a meet-up they’d been looking forward to for ages to the point where they broke down in full-on sobs in their room over not going. Lazy. Uh-huh. Sure.)

If you are being too “lazy” to sort out fundamental life needs like eating, drinking, sleeping or going to the bathroom, that is not laziness. That is a real, serious problem.

The conclusion I came to was that I was barely ever actually lazy in the actual sense of the world.

[clownrecess]

(TW functioning labels, ableism, meltdowns, doctors, etc.)

I was diagnosed as autistic when I was 10, and I was more specifically diagnosed with "High functioning autism". The person my psychiatrist saw was me on easy days, on days when I was fully calm, on days when I could easily communicate, and had no other job than to sit and do what she told me to do.

She hadn't seen me go fully mute for months on end, she hadn't seen me fully unable to take care of my basic needs, she hadn't seen me have violent meltdowns, she hadn't seen me hit and bite myself because I couldn't identify my emotions, she hadn't seen me run into the street because I have nothing in my brain telling me not to, she hadn't seen me unable to change clothes for multiple days, she hadn't seen me only able to shower once a week, she hadn't seen me unable to properly exist in gened, she hadn't seen me have severe meltdowns over a change I liked just because I didnt expect it, she hadn't seen me put a small hole in a wall during a meltdown, she hadn't seen me as a full time AAC user, she hadn't seen me as a part time AAC user, she hadn't seen me unable to sleep without an intensely large amount of nightlights, she hadn't seen me unable to bathe myself until age 9 or 10, etc.

She saw me in a calm state, once every few months, on days when I could communicate easily and do what she asked. That is all she saw of me, her asking me questions, having me do things, and asking my mom questions.

If she saw me, and I was the way I described in front of her, my diagnosis would probably be closer to something like "moderate functioning autism".

But here's the thing, ON DIFFERENT DAYS, I FIT DIFFERENT CRITERIA FOR DIFFERENT TYPES OF AUTISM DIAGNOSES.

My ability to "Function" varies so so much, and this makes functioning labels extremely inaccurate.

Now, let's use support needs to describe me. I am a person who's support needs fluctuate from med-high. I have med-high support needs. This is accurate for me, and it is not ableist.

I wanted to talk about this to describe how functioning labels suck, and also to talk about how support needs fluctuate; and that is okay.