🧱 not over Take~My~Hand but living my life 🧱

Haemish | 37 | he/they | Heated Rivalry Shrimp Emotions | GONCHOROV 1973 | Veteran Hot Mash Summer 2020 | Deranged Mash Winter 2021 | Civilian Casualty BBC Sherlock 2017 | Sherlock Holmes Is A Transgender Man | Wangxian | Queer Gothic 🎩📿 👑 👻 | The Mycrofts | Bondcroft | Brobit | I came of queer age (30) with ☎️-❤ metaphore & it's part of me now | Kirk/Spock are my religion | me & my messy phone |

[heart-eyes-hollander]

Rose picked up on the second ring, "Hey babe, how's it going? How's your head?"

"My head hurts," Shane told her, stretching out on his bed. "And my dad just sent me to my room to lie down because." He lowered his voice, "Because I was crying over a fucking Bette Midler song."

Rose laughed, "Awww Shaney! Because of the concussion? What song?"

"It's called The Rose. Don't read into it."

Rose snorted, "Believe me, I'm not. Hang on, I'm looking up the lyrics."

"I don't think it's because of the concussion, Rose," said Shane in an urgent whisper.

Rose let out a huge theatrical gasp, "Oh my god, Shane! Because of your mystery boy?"

Shane nodded then remembered she couldn't see him, "Yeah. I think so."

"Aww Shane oh my god. Oh wow these lyrics are cheesy. But aww. Godammit I wanna be the tender reed!"

"Sorry," said Shane.

Rose laughed, "No, shut up that's not what I mean. I just mean. You're good at this. It's a very attractive quality."

"I'm really not," said Shane. "I'm very bad at this."

"Shane, if you knew mystery guy was crying on his parents' couch because he thought about how love is a flower, and you're the only seed, you'd probably feel pretty good about that, right?"

"His parents are dead."

"So his own couch, then."

Shane tried to picture Ilya crying on his couch over a sappy love song and to his annoyance, he started to well up again. He cleared his throat, "I don't wanna imagine him crying, Rose. He's been through a lot."

"Maybe having a hot hockey player boyfriend would make him feel better," Rose suggested brightly.

_______________________________

Excerpt from my new fic The Lucky and the Strong! 4K, rated T. Shane is staying with his parents and thinking about what he wants his future with Ilya to look like. Get the rest of the story on AO3!

[heart-eyes-hollander]

It's not the worst thing Shane's ever done. He's not hurting anyone. But it's not exactly cool, either, using Hayden like a scratching post or something. He's not sure how he's going to explain, if Hayden ever figures out what he's doing. Shane's pretty sure Ilya caught on immediately, but it's hotter if they don't talk about it, so they don't talk about it.

----

Check out my new fic, Full of It! 1.2K, rated E. Breeding kink, possessive Ilya, manipulative Shane. Get the rest of the story on AO3!

[miamaimania]

“Black Snake” (2002) ∿ William E. Nutt ◆ Polished marble, raw limestone

[twwings]

fic: a grain of sand (now complete!)

I have now posted the last chapter of my epic Good Omens fic, a grain of sand, so if you were waiting to be able to read the whole thing, here you go! I am very soft and tender about the ending and I hope you love it as much as I do. If you're so moved, I really hope you'll reblog/rec it around, now that it's done!

Pairing: Aziraphale/Crowley

Words: 115k

Rating: Explicit

Summary: To see a world in a grain of sand And a heaven in a wild flower, Hold infinity in the palm of your hand And eternity in an hour. - William Blake, "Auguries of Innocence"

Or,

Crowley and Aziraphale are having an argument. They figure it out eventually.

Tags: Human AU (concept of), Falling In Love, First Kiss, Kissing, so very much kissing, the E rating is for Eventually, Existential Dread, Amnesia, Repressed Memories, metafic, set post-s2, mostly written post-S2, finished and posted post-S3, feels surprisingly relevant to S3 tho, fixit, ineffable divorce, ineffable reconciliation, ineffable husbands, Ineffable Wives, multigender Aziraphale, multigender Crowley, gender is a human construct and these two fuckin love human constructs, supernatural beings will do anything except go to therapy

Read the completed fic!

[twwings]

Reblogging because I'm really proud of this fic and I think it's really really good and I wish more people would read it! idk can I recommend this fic to you? It is every kind of good omens human AU while also being a S2 fixit? The ten people who have read it seem to like it a lot?

[macgyvermedical]

Homemade Electrolyte Mix

Guess what, folks! It's summer! And it's gonna be a hot one, because they all are, recently :(

Did you know you can lose about a liter of water, a gram of sodium, and 300mg potassium in an hour of profuse sweating? If you're working outside in the heat, or even just existing in a very hot and humid environment, you're gonna want to replace the electrolytes you're losing, and you're gonna have to be purposeful about it.

But electrolyte drink mixes, while convenient, are surprisingly expensive for what they are. So I'm going to give you a top secret recipe that you can whip up for literal pennies that will replace what you're losing in sweat.

1 liter of water

1/2 tsp table salt (about 1g of sodium)

1/8 tsp potassium chloride salt substitute (about 350mg potassium. NuSalt is a popular brand, it's sold near the salt at the grocery store. If you don't have this, replace 6oz (180ml) of the water with orange juice or eat something high in potassium, like a banana, each hour you're sweating)

6-8 tsp of granulated sugar (you do actually need this and not a no calorie alternative- sugar helps speed up the absorption of electrolytes in the gut. You can omit if using orange juice for your potassium source, though!)

Lemon or lime juice for flavor, optional

Mix together and drink 1 liter for each hour you're profusely sweating. Adjust your intake so that your pee is light yellow.

If you want to make this mix ahead of time, put 1x the recipe of salt, sugar, and potassium, along with unsweetened Kool Aid powder or crystalized lemon or lime juice, in a small baggie. I do not recommend putting multiple servings worth in a baggie, as the ingredients settle differently and you might not get the right ratio.

NOTE: like any electrolyte drink, it works better if you sip it instead of chugging. If you chug it, you end up pooping out a lot of your electrolytes, even with the sugar.

Source: Where There Is No Doctor by David Werner

[headspace-hotel]

I had mistakenly absorbed so much bullshit about sports drinks being "unhealthy" that I learned the hard way that when you work outdoors chugging plain water will NOT rehydrate you properly. great resource thx

[handl0ck]

I WANT HIM

And by him I mean the narrative

[amarriageoftrueminds]

Reverse ficbunny I can't get out of my head:

'Ilya gets added to the WAG groupchat as Lily' fic

BUT...

At first it reads like just another fluffy 'all the WAGs are lovely future-allies who adore, respect and ogle Shane (as Ilya expects)' fic.

But gradually Ilya realises they're all micro-aggressively racist and ableist about Shane behind his back, deeply resent his position, talent, and fame and lack of interest in them, and clearly don't think of themselves as racist at all, etc. Extra casual homophobia in there too (not targeted at Shane but literally only because they don't know). And from context he can tell their bfs/husbands on the team are saying worse (except Jackie/Hayden, who aren't included).

And just. Slowburn of Ilya gaining insight into Shane's experience of daily racism and other things they've never talked about, what he's like around straight people, realising that team really doesn't deserve him, etc etc. Feeling anguish and rage over the horrible-person-POV of interactions with Shane where Shane was clearly really nice and had no idea what they were thinking.

(And maybe simultaneous 'Shane added to the WAG chat as Jane' and spending all his time 'he would not fucking say that'-ing women who mischaracterise Ilya as a fun dumb lazy borderline-alcoholic fuckboy.)

[heart-eyes-hollander]

"Oh hey," Rose was sitting on the opposite side of the breakfast bar from them, sipping a green juice Shane had made for her while Shane and Ilya made omelets. "Shane, did you wind up doing that thing for Ilya's birthday?"

"The 81 tattoo?" Shane glanced at Ilya and smirked. "No, I actually settled on something else. That was a good idea though. I picked something similar."

Ilya set his knife down and squeezed Shane's ass to help him resist the urge to lift up Shane's shirt right then and there and get an eyeful of his piercing.

"Another tattoo?" Rose asked. "Ignore me if I'm being nosy."

"I think your nosiness is like the foundation of our friendship, Rose. You're fine," said Shane, smiling. "Not a tattoo. Uh." And he turned to Rose and lifted up his shirt himself. Ilya leaned toward Shane resting one hand on Shane's waist and lifted his own shirt. She should have the complete picture of Shane's thoughtful gift.

"Oh my god shut up, you guys are so cute. Wait hang on. Stay like that for a sec." She dug her phone out of her purse which was sitting open on the bar and took a picture of them. "Ugh, this is adorable," she held out the phone to show them the photo. They were grinning broadly, their heads together with Ilya's hand looking comfortably proprietary on Shane's waist. Shane's piercing had caught the warm glow from the track light so that it visibly glinted. Shane was giving Ilya bunny ears.

"Send me that," said Ilya, gazing at the picture. "Please."

Excerpt from my new fic, A Fool Could See. 13.6K, rated E. Available now now now on AO3!

[praziluk]

sweatpants and tanktop is the lingerie of the proletariat

[themoonandmyman]

is there anything better than bodacious babes in wheelchairs

[handl0ck]

No! There! Isn't! Also it's me I'm bodacious babe in wheelchair : D

[heart-eyes-hollander]

transmasc rose landry? like he seems to be consistently attracted to gay men 🤨

[themoonandmyman]

Ilya’s gender is Diva. and that means whatever she wants it to mean

[themoonandmyman]

Yknow

[heart-eyes-hollander]

The rest of the food was even better. Shane was so immersed in the meal that he didn't join much in the conversation, and Ilya could hear him making little mmms and sighs of pleasure and satisfaction. Ilya thought Shane must be famished for good food in his daily life and resolved to take him out more, half giddy when he realized Shane would be much more amenable to being seen together in public now that they were finally out. 

"So Hollander," Ilya said seriously when Shane had his head down over the main course—a beautifully poached cod in some kind of butter sauce and the creamiest potatoes Ilya had ever tasted.

Shane looked up. He had sauce on his cheek. Ilya told himself it would be rude to lick it off in front of the guests. "Yeah?" 

"You've seen Chef Brian now. Did he turn out to be hot?" 

Shane covered his mouth as he let out a little helpless squawk of laughter, "No, sorry. He has a mustache." 

"Some men look hot with a mustache," Fabian objected. "Lots of men." 

"Yeah, but this is a really really straight mustache," said Shane scornfully. "When was the last time you saw a hot straight guy with a mustache? He looks like my dentist." 

Fabian laughed, "Okay, point taken." 

"My dentist in New Jersey was kind of hot," said Ryan thoughtfully. "But maybe I just liked the way he told me to open wider." 

"Inside thought, babe," Fabian said in a loud whisper, pushing his glass of wine away. 

"No, no, let him share," said Ilya. "Tell us more about this dentist. Is he still practicing? Can you give Hollander his number?" 

"I don't think Shane would be into him," said Ryan as Ilya fended off Shane from poking him in the ribs. "He has a mustache."

—————-

excerpt from my new hollanov fic, Loverboy! 10.6K, explicit. Ilya’s 30th birthday; Shane throws him a little party! Get the rest of the story on AO3

[ariaste]

The Fantasy Romans Book -- Merch Reveal #2

First of all, I want to say a HUGE thank you to everyone who has signed up on Kickstarter to get notified when THE WISDOM OF EMPERORS campaign goes live! And seven or eight more huge thank-yous to everyone who has been signal-boosting about it! Without the support of a publisher and their marketing budget, the success of a book is entirely contingent on grassroots support from fans, so I am truly grateful to see such an incredible response already, even before the campaign has launched. Just two weeks to go! Let's keep the momentum going!

On to today's merch reveal! Or, rather, a merch reveal plus a peek at what the first stretch goal will be after the Kickstarter reaches its funding goal... 

Not a huge fan of the red on the usual cover? Prefer a book that will coordinate with any outfit so that strangers on the subway will think you're impressively stylish? Planning to get the standard hardback rather than the Collector's Edition, but still want to jazz it up a little? Planning to get both versions and want them to look equally twinkly when they're side-by-side on your shelf? The Goth Version has you... covered... (Look, I grimaced too as I wrote that.) 

Available as an add-on when we reach $500 over our funding goal, The Goth Version is an alternate colorway dust jacket in black/grey -- and yes, it'll still have the gold foil on the cover! :) Which do you like more, the black or the red? Let me know in the comments!

ALSO, over on Kickstarter, there's an exclusive excerpt from the book, featuring Gaius Talius (the scribe of a 2000-year-old manuscript found in an archaeological excavation) having a Very Bad Day. Read it here:

Update 2: Merch Reveal #2 and Exclusive Excerpt · The Wisdom of Emperors: Deluxe Collector's Edition

First of all, I want to say a HUGE thank you to everyone who has signed up to follow this project so far, and seven or eight more huge thank

[ariaste]

The Fantasy Romans book, at last

So excited to reveal the cover to my new book today, The Wisdom of Emperors! You can check it out on Kickstarter, along with the full summary!

Inspired by the story of the Ancient Roman emperor Hadrian and his lover Antinous, The Wisdom of Emperors is a second-world adult fantasy novel written in the style of a fictional academic text. It documents the translation and study of a world-changing artifact discovered in an archaeological dig: a manuscript which provides the clues to finally unravel the mysteries surrounding one of the most famous emperors of the ancient world. 

The Kickstarter campaign is for the deluxe collector's edition, but you'll be able to preorder the standard hardback/paperback, PLUS the early-access ebook, available to backers well before general publication to everyone else. And there's going to be some really, REALLY cool merch as well (genuine papyrus bookmarks, designed and blockprinted by my own hands!)

Anyway, the Kickstarter goes live on May 5th at 4:00pm EST, so if you are the sort of person who reads news articles about major new archaeological discoveries and gets SUPER MAD that they don't tell you absolutely everything about why it's important and what it changes about what we thought we knew..... this one's for you, babe. ;)

[ariaste]

Also I was told by a publishing industry insider that this book probably wouldn't sell because publishers are explicitly saying that they don't want "challenging" books, they want books that (and i QUOTE) "aren't necessarily making readers think"

So if that pisses you the FUCK off, sauce me a signal boost.

[xenosaurus]

it’s a shame more vampire media doesn’t pull from vampire bat behavior because they’re such sweeties. they can only survive their incredibly specialized diet because bats will share blood with colony members that didn’t find a meal! there’s evidence that suggests the donors sometimes initiate this behavior themselves by approaching hungry bats! the colonies are mostly harems of females with a few males but they’ve been observed letting unrelated males in when it gets cold so they can all stay warm! cute little social critters!

[xenosaurus]

@yupekosi your tags have created such a beautiful world

[breha]

the core of cnc and d/s for a lot of people is that when you want something but have an insurmountable amount of shame surrounding that desire, pretending that someone is making you do it or letting someone instruct you as to exactly how to do it can help you let go of some of those inhibitions. playing a submissive role during sex allows shane to bypass some of the expectations that weigh him down, but that doesn't mean he's "passive" in the sense of not participating in creating the shared experience. we see him on screen throughout unambiguously making decisions, yes-anding, and contributing ideas (nobody told him to crawl or pretend to be a bellboy). i can't emphasize enough the basic idea that kink is a space of play and an interaction between equal partners just like all sex should be, even if the point is to pretend it isn't. kink allows shane to express and explore desires that come very much from him in a way that feels safe.

anyway, now that we've established that the ocean has living things in it and the environment is important to that, this is a post about shane hiring a personal stylist. i think it's reasonable to assume we're meant to understand shane's desire for a partner who can dom and his pattern of hiring other people to make decisions about his house and his clothes for him as coming from related psychological places. if someone else picked out his suit for him, he's not responsible for the decision to wear it, and so he can wear it without being paralyzed by the shame associated with actively choosing and wanting it. wanting to look desirable, caring about clothes, having taste– all of these are things that in shane's world are unacceptably unmasculine. so he hires the personal stylist – a socially permissible thing for a straight male celebrity to do – and then says oh i just didn't want to look worse than everybody else, i never really cared about clothes. and ilya sees through this immediately, pointing out shane's implicit desire to invite the gaze ("you have new clothes to show off..."). the personal stylist gives him permission to try things he might otherwise be too afraid or ashamed to try, but the core motivation is still his own desire.

all of which is to say that i really want to push back on the idea that shane hiring a personal stylist or an interior designer means he is actually a passive person who doesn't want or care about anything outside of hockey and/or doesn't want to make decisions. that's not an internally consistent interpretation and i don't think it's supported by the material. also, it's boring. he's afraid of imperfection and ashamed of desires he sees as aberrant, so he constructs intricate scaffolding in order to indulge his sick, twisted fantasies of trying on a nice linen suit and owning throw pillows. he's likes the suit! he wanted to wear it! he actively made decisions that led to him wearing it! he just doesn't believe that's "allowed." which is kind of like. his whole deal