happi-n-sad

because we don't write about being in between

[happi-n-sad]

It was a beautiful story. Full of hardships and struggles and two people who scarficed all that and more in order to show some love to each other. It was the boy who couldn’t get over “the most beautiful girl in he world” and the girl who couldn’t seem to manage to live a life without him. It was the sneaky eye contact from across the room as a signal to leave lunch early and walk the halls together. It was the drowsy eyelids the morning after they stayed up until three am in hopes of learning every detail of each other over the phone. It was the summer nights spent looking at the stars, drinking lemonade, playing cards, and listening to favorite songs. It was the firsts - kisses, concerts, drinking, exploring big cities and leaving their initials carved into a bridge. It was love letters and phone calls and the tightest hugs after not seeing each other for far too long. It was finding an empty parking lot to make out, rip her favorite dress, and dream about their future together. It was the feeling of finally being together after spending so long wishing they were. It was family dinners and walks with their dogs. It was “I can’t wait to see you” and a list of everything they’d do once they did. It was holding each other when they cried - realizing and sharing their own dark closets and just how difficult it was to say goodbye. It was drunk “I love you”s over the phone and learning the names of each of their 20 cousins. It was the seed of hope for making it last despite how many hours in a car or plane before they would be able to laugh and dance together. It was a high school love and it was more. It was two best friends set on fire for each other. It was a beautiful story with an anticlimactic ending full of hardships and struggles and two people who couldn’t seem to sacrifice anymore. It was the boy who got over “the most beautiful girl in the world” and the girl who was finally forced to manage living a life without him. It was a blurry, distant memory. It wasn’t the beginning of their forever. It was only a beautiful story.

and the story is over

[happi-n-sad]

The one that got away came back. And it was even better than my imagination.

[wordsnquotes]

I write best When I am either, Falling in love, Or falling apart.

Rudy Francisco (via wordsnquotes)

[happi-n-sad]

You are the best risk I've ever taken.

[happi-n-sad]

SAY YOUR PRAYERS & CHASE YOUR DREAMS BECAUSE THATS TRULY ALL THAT MATTERS.

[happi-n-sad]

It kills me not knowing if letting you go was the best decision I ever made, or the biggest mistake of my life.

& I’ll never stop wondering

[happi-n-sad]

You made everything better. And without you everything is worse.

it's so simple and so painful

[happi-n-sad]

There are so many things I want to tell you about. So many stories that beg for your reaction. And I want to hear your stories too, even the stupid ones. Because with you nothing was stupid.

And I think that's what I miss the most, being able to sit down and talk about anything

[happi-n-sad]

I want to go back to being happy in your arms. Genuine happiness, surrounded by you.

but i let you go

[happi-n-sad]

One day I wish to remember it all and I want it all back. And the next I hope that I will forget all the details & never have to see you again.

i never thought it would be this hard

[happi-n-sad]

Remember It All

i have a box in my closet of my favorite letters. ones from my best friends that have made me cry. ones from my grandma because her handwriting is something i never want to let go of. ones from my neighbor, congratulating me on something i actually felt proud of. this box puts a genuine smile on my face every time i read anything in it. but next to it i have a box just for you. it’s filled with your letters. it’s filled with your cards and petals from bouquets you gave me. pictures you printed that i used to have in frames. and when i read those words you wrote me it takes me back to the time we were so in love. the nights we would stay on the phone until two am. the time we snuck out with my friends and agreed we never laughed harder. the days we would picnic on our favorite beach. the time we made out in your car and the horn went off. when i first realized i loved you. i told myself i would keep your box shut but i have found that i simply can't. i want to open the lid to relive al of those memories. i want to remember the beauty of what we had. but that's the problem, it's not the truth. there were smiles and kisses and flowers and there was love. but that wasn't all. we had a lot of beauty, but there was just as much pain. so i wrote my own letter to add to your box. and in it i included the memories we had together that i hated the most. the ones that i lived and wish i didn't. the ones that tore us apart. because that is the truth. not some romanticized box full of everything that went right, but also everything that went wrong. and maybe that's what we all do. we choose what we want to remember in our past relationships, instead of what really happened. so i'm here to say: remember it all. the beauty. the pain. the love. and the hate. and maybe if i do i won't keep wanting to open your box. because my best friends letters are just as compelling.

[happi-n-sad]

I used to measure time by you. Every moment in my life was remembered alongside where you belonged in the moment too. And now it feels like I have nothing to measure, because I don't have you.

longing for the day i won't measure by you

[happi-n-sad]

I miss being excited all the time. To hear your voice, watch your name pop up on my screen, see your face from across the street, anything. I miss that the most.

and i'm sorry i took it for granted

[happi-n-sad]

We used to be perfect. And for a moment there I thought I found the thing that everyone else was searching for. But that moment shattered and we became toxic. But that moment is what I'll always remember, and that must be why you're so hard to forget.

i miss that moment

[happi-n-sad]

And I hid your letters in a box under my bed. & I told myself I couldn’t read them until I forgot about you. But everyday I read your words and everyday I cry because I know I won’t forget about you, no matter how hard I want to.

& i hope, that jut maybe, you won’t forget about me

[happi-n-sad]

Wake up and smile because the sun turns the sky different colors everyday, and if that's all you have it is still more than enough to smile about.

[happi-n-sad]

things we need to appreciate more ::: -sunsets/sunrises -not missing anything on your grocery list -running into an old friend -fluffy blankets -unexpected phone calls -freshly painted nails -photographs of the sky -clean hair -fruit fruit fruit -clothes that smell like your best friend -reading a book you can't put down -stars -"i saw this and thought of you"