Happy’s Saying

Putting your thoughts into creation is always good.

[happykoul]

एक नाराज़गी ही तो थी, अपनी एक मुस्कान से माना लेते। एक नज़रिया ही तो था, अपने शब्दों में उल्ज़ाके बदल देते। एक बदसलूकी ही तो थी, ज़रा सी नाराज़गी से सुधार देते। एक बिखरा दिल ही तो था, अपने दामन में यूँ समेट्ट लेते। एक रिश्ता ही तो था, चाहते तो टूटने से बचा लेते।

Happy Koul

[happykoul]

बरसने को तो आँखें भी बरस जाए, हर शाम चाहे तो अँधेरे में मिल जाए। यूँ तो दरिया भी जाकर समंदर में समा जाए, हर बाँध से ठोकर खाकर भी चलता जाए। साँस ये आख़िरी समजकर बरसों जीता जाए, फिर भी जीने का सार ना समज पाए। मौन रहकर भी आँखों से हर बात कह जाए, उन अखों से दिल में समा जाए।

Happy Koul

[happykoul]

कहता है क्या जोगी, दो पल सुन लो ज़रा। कंठ में है विष भरा, फिर भी दुनिया संग हस पड़ा। आँख मूँद के सोंच रहा, क्यूँ यह जीवन मोह भरा? यादों का पिटारा बाँधकर, जाने को है तैयार खड़ा। बादल बन्ने की चाह लिए, आसमान को बरसों से ताक रहा। अन्त वर्षा के मोह में यूँ, बूँद बूँद बरस पड़ा।

Happy koul

[happykoul]

Starting over in a new city has always been liberating for me, like I can draw a line between my past and get ready for my future. Maybe that’s why I like travelling so much because I can be my true self without having to give up on my actual life. One thing I’m holding on so tightly is the expectations my family has on me, about who I should be and how I should behave. I know they don’t mean it in a mean way, or maybe they don’t mean it at all, but it’s been weighing down on me a lot and I can’t just seem to let it go. That’s why I always feel this sense of freedom when I’m in a new place because I don’t have to pretend or to wear a mask. But I can’t just keep running away and coming back. I need to choose who I wanna be, I have to choose to be fully me.

[happykoul]

I have not the time to right all wrongs;

the years flash by, and my anguish grows,

I know, too late, where my heart belongs;

I plead guilty to all those cruel abuses, 

when I tried to hide, what you could plainly see.

[happykoul]

September’s scar

september’s scar

buried in the dark..Don’t think I’ve forgotten.

ohhh my september’s scar..

One was the girl,took me far and just left me with these September’s scar.

[happykoul]

I cannot make up lame excuses,

I cannot say, it was not me,

I plead guilty to all those cruel abuses, 

when I tried to hide, what you could plainly see.

I have pushed the bad things all aside,

and tried to I have not the time to right all wrongs;

the years flash by, and my anguish grows,

I know, too late, where my heart belongs;

in the window, where my candle glows.

[happykoul]

I wandered there for days

An ocean of blue,

But not like the deep

More like the surface

when the sun is penetrating from the above.

I thought I might catch a glimpse

An inkling of who you are,

But i found an empty,

Dark soul,

That never noticed me there.

I was lost,

In your eyes,

But not because of me,

Because of you,

And the abandon of pursuit.

[happykoul]

LOST

Ever lost someone whom you thought is the only way of your survival?

You wake up from your slumber, panting, exhausted, your mind muffled up with vague emotions. You can’t sleep anymore. You wish you had someone to talk to, but there’s no one by your side.

You are surrounded by people, and yet something seems missing. There’s so much energy in the environment, and yet you feel alone. You want to sneak away. The world seems cruel and unsympathetic.

You’ve given up on yourself. You see no point in living. You are contemplating self-depreciating activities. Living doesn’t interest you anymore.

At this edge of life the only survival thing you need to have is just look at your hands and question yourself that did they deserve this.

[happykoul]

I tried to pull myself from the darkness but then i found mistakes i had done in the past and once a mistake remains always a mistake.

[happykoul]

Still Hiding

Ever tried to hide your eyes and yourself to whom you promised that you would be always there?

[happykoul]

Making a bright smile can just hide your feelings but what about scars?

[happykoul]

And here it comes the dark with darkest memories of my life. I used to think that now you are with me i will go through all these dark night but now i am shattering my eyes just to make sure that you are really gone and all the promises you made were just words.

[happykoul]

Thats what life is meant to be😭

[happykoul]

Stuck in the voices of yours begging me to keep loving you.

[happykoul]

September’s scar

september’s scar

buried in the dark..Don’t think I’ve forgotten.

ohhh my september’s scar..

One was the girl,took me far and just left me with these September’s scar.

[happykoul]

I just walked away from the feelings that didn’t respect me enough and that was the bravest things i had ever done.