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221turtlesinthetardis

Five asexuals are playing cards.

One starts to explain the rules:

I’d say no cheating, but there are already five aces at the table.

wetfag-deactivated20170404

just a reminder that apparently anybody who isn’t ace cheats

exemplarybehaviour

this literally says the aces are cheating…………. because… you can’t have five aces in a deck………….it’s the Opposite of the second comment…

lostoldplanet

Reading comprehension on this site is piss-poor

mystrothedefender

How dare you say aces piss on the poor

the-sky-traveler

my brother is teaching his cat how to high five by giving her a treat every time she successfully taps her hand to his hand, which is all well and good, but now she thinks that she is entitled to food every time she high fives someone. i can’t eat in the same room as her anymore because she’ll just bap my hand rapid fire and then go nyoom straight in for my pizza like no Kelly that’s illegal go finish ur own dinner

anonymous-bosch

“No Kelly, that’s illegal.”

askragtatter

So, a while back, I was using clicker-training to teach my cat Taz tricks. She learned very quickly and it was a good experience all around, but we had to hide the clicker.

Taz had learned that the clicker meant she got treats. So she would find it, carry it up to people, step on it to make it click, and then SCREAM AT THEM to give her the treats she was clearly owed because the clicker had made a sound.

jinxtimesinfinity-deactivated20

Cats

wandering-tangents

Pavlov is rolling over laughing in his grave.

stevencharleston

im screaming

alchemust

moderndonnangelicata-deactivate

heckifiknowcomics

whitepeopletwitter

History repeats itself.

pepperandpals

‪She bless the rains down in Africa ‬

buyakasha

it always warms my heart to see birds approving human music like we did it guys we impressed the best

Hi

Long time no tumble.

What has changed and how much am I going to hate it? 🤔

alanaisalive

The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.

Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.

So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.

Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.