walk on by, walk on by

She/Her/Hers - Aro/Ace Spec - 30ish - INFP - Multifandom

[grungekitty-77]

Not that anybody asked, but I think it's important to understand how shame and guilt actually work before you try to use it for good.

It's a necessary emotion. There are reasons we have it. It makes everything so. much. worse. when you use it wrong.

Shame and guilt are DE-motivators. They are meant to stop behavior, not promote it. You cannot, ever, in any meaningful way, guilt someone into doing good. You can only shame them into not doing bad.

Let's say you're a parent and your kid is having issues.

Swearing in class? Shame could work. You want them to stop it. Keep it in proportion*, and it might help. *(KEEP IT IN PROPORTION!!!)

Not doing their homework? NO! STOP! NO NOT DO THAT! EVER! EVER! EVER! You want them to start to do their homework. Shaming them will have to opposite effect! You have demotivated them! They will double down on NOT doing it. Not because they are being oppositional, but because that's what shame does!

You can't guilt people into building better habits, being more successful, or getting more involved. That requires encouragement. You need to motivate for that stuff!

If you want it in a simple phrase:

You can shame someone out of being a bad person, but you can't shame them into being a good person.

[grungekitty-77]

Fun fact, that was literally what inspired me to make this post!

[secondlastk]

u dont understand how disappointed i am that this dog didnt appear on my dash this year and how hard i tried to find a post that included both pictures

[aleshakills]

I love a woman with a loud ass laugh. I love a cackle. I love a guffaw. Love when a bitch laughs so hard it scares the dog. Be unapologetic in your joy.

[jenniferstolzer]

The winner of the February fanart poll was Pacific Rim... but I hope you all forgive me if I decided to mash it up with Godzilla. He was the original Kaiju after all.

[yourmajestybee]

EVERYONE NEEDS TO LOOK AT HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON UNTRAINABLE THE STAGE PLAY RN

[multiversemittens]

[ontologicallyeviltortureprincess]

There's this interesting phenomenon where when you're a child, or some other vulnerable minority dependent on a job for shelter, you are actually under duress almost constantly. You can't say "I don't want to work today," you cannot say "I don't want to do the dishes, actually," you cannot choose not to participate. In a lot of cases, the punishment is explicit. Your parents might yell at you. Your boss might fire you. But in other cases, it's implicit. The mood will sour. You lose leeway. People get mad at you. And that creates a really shitty environment where you're constantly being coerced to do things!

And here's the kicker; you're not allowed to acknowledge that. You cannot acknowledge that you are being coerced, you cannot acknowledge that your free will is not being respected, because that's punished too. Your boss insists that you act excited. Your parents punish you for acting surly. You are forced to fake enthusiastic consent, constantly. It's a fucking nightmare. Your hand is being forced, you do not have the option to say "no," and if you ever, for a second, try to acknowledge that, everyone acts like you're the aggressor.

[rthwrms]

MOVING QUICKLY IS NOT A VIRTUE a zine by me for me. but u can see it too

[gashicalmy]

And here's another commission, this time for a custom tshirt!

I have done some with manga panels in the past, but this is the first one with this style! Hope you all like it!

Remember, If you want one of your fav pokemon I'm still open for commissions!!

[studentlifeproblems]

[carys-the-ninth]

The problem with commercial F/M romance is that it's written by the most heterosexual women alive and reading it you feel yourself slowly suffocating from the Gender of it all like a fish in a eutrophying lake. And what we actually need as a culture is F/M written by insane bisexuals violently allergic to heteronormativity

[ajardolive]

They are feeling more empowered so keep a watchful eye on who is around you.

[tropiyas]

not to worry mutuals, I’ve recruited a halfling to detect any and all spike traps on your dashboard, just make sure not to scroll too fast so he has time to find them

[toaad]

[tropiyas]

[yeahokayillreblogthat]

yeah okay ill reblog that

[rifa]

Okay so. This is a wild story.

Back in 2007, when I was 17 years old, I made this little two headed rabbit out of felt. I used to wear him in my hair to high school. I took the below photo on my digital camera on top of a school desk and uploaded it to deviant art and never thought about it again.

Last March I got a message on instagram from someone who contacted me because they wanted permission to tattoo something from my deviant art account. I was baffled because it had mostly been cosplay, so I asked what they were interested in and they pulled him up.

I told them I was surprised anyone was interested in him and was fine with it. They immediately were like, what? He's so popular, hasn't anyone told you?

I did a quick google search and honestly nothing could have prepared me.

In the nearly 15 years since I had uploaded this photo it had gone BERSERK. Pinterest has dozens of copies of him, artwork of him, remakes inspired by him, DUPES being sold for years online. Reverse image search showed countless pfps, album covers, memes, edits, A PICREW, endless amazon and alixpress and redbubble products with him slapped on it.

I also found plenty of art, edited videos, all sorts of positive things. And all together its been a rollercoaster of emotions watching something you made when you were a teenager skyrocket in popularity and no one thought to tell you.

I sat on this for a long time, I had to process a lot of emotions about seeing something I had created and kept be whisked off and used like this. I enjoyed the creative work and inspiration, and I despised the people who used it as a chance to make money off an uncredited artist, one who happens to be trans, queer, disabled and native. I feel I should be going out guns blazing and taking down all the listings that are selling him, but it feels ..... I dont know. It feels like a lost cause.

I further sat on it until a friend who knew sent me a photo of a new product Marc Jacobs is putting out.

And Im.

:')

Anyways.

I would love to get the word out that the creator of the two headed rabbit beloved by creative internet weirdos was not made by an anonymous mysterious nothingness, but by a trans and queer and deeply hurting seventeen year old who grew up to be a very happy adult who is still creating things.

Please help me get the word out. I posted this video on both my doll accounts on instagram and tiktok, please share around, please give me a follow to support my new work.

[queenangst]

idk if this is a young fan thing or new fandom culture but some of yall think fics are abandoned way too quickly. a few months or a year or two is not unusual to go without a fic update. sometimes fics take longer to write, other times writers have rl events, or maybe there's multiple fics and one gets more priority. there are tons of reasons for fics not to be updated every week or every month. it also isn't uncommon for people to come back and update fics after a number of years—ive read updates that took five, or ten years. people's lives change, but they still want to tell their stories. personally, i never consider a fic abandoned unless the author has said so; though if it's been a few years i manage my expectations. but a last update being a year ago is... generally not a sign that a writer has abandoned their fic

[liladiurne]

That! Exactly that!!! Writers have lives and writing is hard! It takes time. Stop assuming fics are abandoned!

[heywriters]

Original fic usually goes through this same process before being commercially published. Readers just don't know that bc they aren't receiving it in bite-size chunks online. Large periods of stagnant writing are historically just another Monday for most writers.

[holylulusworld]

This☝️.

[gamorahww]

the three laws of tragedies (insp)

[saracastically]

now she’s all ready for spooky season—are you? 🌕🐺

[glorious-spoon]

one of the most challenging skills i've had to learn as an adult is the art of figuring out whether i'm proportionally annoyed with someone or just tired and overstimulated and looking for reasons to be pissed off

[glorious-spoon]

congratulations to the only post i've ever had breach 100k notes without any real discourse or fighting, just a lot of people wearily going, oh, god, same