Was supposed to do uni shits, my hand slipped, I fell from the stairs, did a back flip and ended with guangshi vamp au
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
cherry valley forever
trying on a metaphor
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@hauntedkingofice
Was supposed to do uni shits, my hand slipped, I fell from the stairs, did a back flip and ended with guangshi vamp au
Hoping it's all just temporary Praying it's all just in your mind One foot inside this cemetery Hoping it's not too late this time.
I chose violence.
AGAIN :'(
"Clean" version under the cut.
Colored pieces that I loved🫶🫶
Lost in forever's embrace
(redraw from ALNST Round 6 ;;)
This was a big piece to complete! I'm pretty happy with it though :D Excited for the next season <3
me when i don’t let past and future be
love love love
I find it interesting that the mouth salivates both when we’re hungry and when we’re nauseous. It doesn’t matter if stuff is coming in or out, our throat is like okay boys time to lube up the tunnel
Babe could you have phrased this in literally any other way
PHRASE ADDED!
"okay boys time to lube up the tunnel"
this website’s easy watch. *dangles a bunch of greek gods like keys*
i know what i’m doing dw
Keep in mind I only know like. Two Greek gods by name. Homer is one of them, and he was good friends with Odysseus I think?
Wait fuck Homer isn’t a god he wrote the fucking thing. Fuck
POST CANCELLED NO ONE LOOK
desperately google searching for “greek gods to pray to when people notice your online idiocy”
You're failing.
You don’t think I know that, God of Death? Can I pray to you so I can DIE ALREADY
Pluto is Roman, not Greek
?????
Short version is that Pluto is a later name for the god of death, which is often associated with the Roman era/Roman mythology. Hades is the earlier name.
I set up my own house made of sticks and it has promptly fallen on me
HE’S NOT EVEN REAL?????*
I made this post thinking I knew what kind of fire I was playing with. Hephaestus, God of Fire, looking upon me from his fuck off tower or whatever said “Oh you think you know? Check this shit” and promptly set my post ablaze for everyone to observe
Hephaestus doesn't have a tower, he lived in a volcano
FINE THEN. BIG FUCK OFF VOLCANO. WHATEVER
wrong.
Achievement Unlocked:
Lightning Bait
You're basically doing the post equivalent of standing out in a field during a storm with a ten-foot copper pole, you better hope Zeus is busy hiding from Hera.
FUCK'S SAKE NOT AGAIN
I need you to name every greek God you know and what they are for plz
For science
OKAY FINE HERE'S WHAT I'VE FOUND
HERMES: DA FUNNY ONE
ZEUS: DA LIGHTNING (NOTE: THOUGHT HE WAS NORDIC, FATHER OF THOR)
POSEIDON: DA SEA ONE
HEPHAESTUS: DA FIRE/FORGING/STEEL ONE
APHRODITE: DA HOT ONE
KRATOS: GOD OF WAR
HADES: DA HELL ONE. ROGUE LIKE
APOLLO: DA DODGEBALL/PROPHECY ONE
ares is the god of war, not kratos
WHY THE FUCK DOES THE GAME CALL HIM GOD OF WAR THEN
I can't believe this post is less than 24 hours old, it feels like something out of classic tumblr lore
Imagine meeting the most handsome goofiest genderweird butch you've ever seen and she has a dedicated probably monogamous boyfriend who to be fair is actually a pretty cool dude and you're devastated that you can't shoot your shot. Then you find out that up until last year boyfriend was certain he was gay and then he met this handsome goofy genderweird butch and was like oh I like women. Or at least women who are also men sometimes. So I'm bisexual. Also to make things more confusing they're both veterans who are actually pretty staunchly anti-military and hate every admiral they've ever encountered and the butch only went into the military because she desperately needed healthcare coverage for her father and the boyfriend was like. A legacy military brat who realized this is all pretty fucked actually. Congratulations you have encountered modern day Mulan and Li Shang
I was leaving class today and I walked up to my little red car and hit the unlock button on my key. I confidently stepped up to open the door but it would open. Slowly I registered that my car didn’t light up or unlock. I was tired and befuddled and thought, oh, I didn’t hit the button right. So I clicked the unlock button again. No unlock sound, no lights.
The rain is dumping down on me, uncharacteristically hard for my region, and my last two brain cells are trying to problem solve the fact that my door won’t open while I’m getting rained on. I looked at my key for several seconds and then thought oh yea, I can actually insert this into the lock! And I look back up and think, wait, it’s really dark in my car?
Turns out.
An IDENTICAL car was parked directly next to mine. This car, however, had tinted windows, a fact it took me an embarrassingly long time to ascertain and I stepped back suddenly thinking oh no oh no someone will think I’m doing crime but I just thought it was my car.
I hurried around it to my door (which was definitely unlocked as I’d been mashing on the button). One of my classmates saw me and I wailed, “It’s the same kind of car as mine!” She laughed.
I can never emotionally recover from the embarrassment.
I was once running fully on autopilot after a brutally long day in the lab and when I tried to open the car, I scared the crap out of the guy who was sitting in the drivers seat. Turns out it was an identical make and model of my car, and I scrambled away with an ‘oh god, sorry!’ and scuttled over to my car three spots further down. He rolled down the window and went ‘I’ve done that to your car too, don’t worry about it!’.
little kids are so fucking funny man. had a kid that couldn’t be any older than like 8 or so come up to me today asking where our dinosaur books where, and when i tried to gently redirect them downstairs (where our kids section is) they very matter-of-fairly informed me that they’d already read every book down there and are ready to learn about the “secret, grown-up only dinosaurs” now
your bed is probably as happy to see you as you are to see it. ‘here comes the warmth slab’ it thinks
wrong it thinks “god hope this dipshit doesnt spill beans all over me again who tf eats beans in bed”
stop reblogging this new year new me i havent spilled beans in bed ONCE this year
uh oh
It gets funnier the earlier in the year you reblog it
there's a stage in sandwich consumption where it's falling to pieces & you're desperately cupping it in your hands & it's like this poor wounded animal that is covered in mustard & wants to die
I know vampirism is often used as a metaphor for the drain of the aristocracy but I think it would be fun to have more vampire characters who were just some guy before they got turned. You seek out the most ancient vampire in existence and find out he was a 40 year old wheat farmer in ancient Mesopotamia when he was turned 7,000 years ago and he hasn’t been doing much since then.