My Attempt

28yr old gay poly male Washington state.

[possessedscholar]

Happy 19th Birthday to the Nintendo DS!

[rlyehtaxidermist]

[hawks-man]

Happy birthday to the Nintendo DS which is now old enough to drink

[hawks-man]

I don't know how to say this in a way that doesn't just make me sound pathetic, but the mental/emotional toll of being the "last kid picked for dodgeball" for everything sucks. I don't know if it's just I don't know how to pick friends or people but I honestly do try to be a good friend but I'm always the one left behind in everything. I'm always the back up friend or just the person who no one wants around. If I want to be included I have to invite myself to things but I never get invited. I feel like a such an outcast in everything I do because I'm always the odd one out in every friend circle. i just constantly find out people are having parties or doing things with multiple other people I'm also friends with but I never get the invite. I just get a "oh we're doing this" and I have to either accept I'm not invited or have to build up the courage to ask. But after almost 30 years of that I feel I'm just starting to take the hint and don't feel wanted enough to even try to get invited. So then I'm just left alone feeling awful because I know they're having fun without me

[hawks-man]

I've been trying so hard recently too to not be the depressed weirdo either. I'm funny. People at least act like they enjoy my company when I'm around when I do force myself into the scenarios. But then the next thing happens and I just get ignored and left behind again... Making me think that my company wasn't enjoyed at all. Not to bring memes into it but I literally feel like the guy in the corner while everyone parties around him. I just wish I could have one person who actually wants me around

[hawks-man]

I felt alone in high school and was depressed and suicidal but even then I did know there were at least a few friends worth holding on for. But now? I've lost them over the passage of time and after a long distance move. Then was never was able to find or make new ones. And have now lost the loves of my life so now I'm feeling more alone than I ever have and can't find a reason to hold on anymore.

I think I'm going to hold on to see my parents next month when they come to visit. Just to see them one last time but I think I'm done after that. After 15+ years of constant physical pain and 30 years of being ignored unless I force my presence onto people I think I'll just give everyone what they want. Me dead and gone.

[hawks-man]

It's like I don't care if you have other friends or friend circles. I do, so I get it. Go do your thing but I just wish I could ever get the occasional invite to any of it. It's just I'm always the last pick or last choice. It just sucks to know that if any other option exists they'll pick that over me and the only time I get chosen is when there are no other options left.

[hawks-man]

I don't know how to say this in a way that doesn't just make me sound pathetic, but the mental/emotional toll of being the "last kid picked for dodgeball" for everything sucks. I don't know if it's just I don't know how to pick friends or people but I honestly do try to be a good friend but I'm always the one left behind in everything. I'm always the back up friend or just the person who no one wants around. If I want to be included I have to invite myself to things but I never get invited. I feel like a such an outcast in everything I do because I'm always the odd one out in every friend circle. i just constantly find out people are having parties or doing things with multiple other people I'm also friends with but I never get the invite. I just get a "oh we're doing this" and I have to either accept I'm not invited or have to build up the courage to ask. But after almost 30 years of that I feel I'm just starting to take the hint and don't feel wanted enough to even try to get invited. So then I'm just left alone feeling awful because I know they're having fun without me

[hawks-man]

I've been trying so hard recently too to not be the depressed weirdo either. I'm funny. People at least act like they enjoy my company when I'm around when I do force myself into the scenarios. But then the next thing happens and I just get ignored and left behind again... Making me think that my company wasn't enjoyed at all. Not to bring memes into it but I literally feel like the guy in the corner while everyone parties around him. I just wish I could have one person who actually wants me around

[hawks-man]

I felt alone in high school and was depressed and suicidal but even then I did know there were at least a few friends worth holding on for. But now? I've lost them over the passage of time and after a long distance move. Then was never was able to find or make new ones. And have now lost the loves of my life so now I'm feeling more alone than I ever have and can't find a reason to hold on anymore.

I think I'm going to hold on to see my parents next month when they come to visit. Just to see them one last time but I think I'm done after that. After 15+ years of constant physical pain and 30 years of being ignored unless I force my presence onto people I think I'll just give everyone what they want. Me dead and gone.

[hawks-man]

I don't know how to say this in a way that doesn't just make me sound pathetic, but the mental/emotional toll of being the "last kid picked for dodgeball" for everything sucks. I don't know if it's just I don't know how to pick friends or people but I honestly do try to be a good friend but I'm always the one left behind in everything. I'm always the back up friend or just the person who no one wants around. If I want to be included I have to invite myself to things but I never get invited. I feel like a such an outcast in everything I do because I'm always the odd one out in every friend circle. i just constantly find out people are having parties or doing things with multiple other people I'm also friends with but I never get the invite. I just get a "oh we're doing this" and I have to either accept I'm not invited or have to build up the courage to ask. But after almost 30 years of that I feel I'm just starting to take the hint and don't feel wanted enough to even try to get invited. So then I'm just left alone feeling awful because I know they're having fun without me

[hawks-man]

I've been trying so hard recently too to not be the depressed weirdo either. I'm funny. People at least act like they enjoy my company when I'm around when I do force myself into the scenarios. But then the next thing happens and I just get ignored and left behind again... Making me think that my company wasn't enjoyed at all. Not to bring memes into it but I literally feel like the guy in the corner while everyone parties around him. I just wish I could have one person who actually wants me around

[hawks-man]

I don't know how to say this in a way that doesn't just make me sound pathetic, but the mental/emotional toll of being the "last kid picked for dodgeball" for everything sucks. I don't know if it's just I don't know how to pick friends or people but I honestly do try to be a good friend but I'm always the one left behind in everything. I'm always the back up friend or just the person who no one wants around. If I want to be included I have to invite myself to things but I never get invited. I feel like a such an outcast in everything I do because I'm always the odd one out in every friend circle. i just constantly find out people are having parties or doing things with multiple other people I'm also friends with but I never get the invite. I just get a "oh we're doing this" and I have to either accept I'm not invited or have to build up the courage to ask. But after almost 30 years of that I feel I'm just starting to take the hint and don't feel wanted enough to even try to get invited. So then I'm just left alone feeling awful because I know they're having fun without me

[hawks-man]

I think the final straws have been placed on this camel's back. My legs are buckling and I don't see any help coming.

[shushututu]

People seriously underestimate the long term effects of constant loneliness

"why are you so weird?" Idk, maybe because being completely isolated while growing up has destroyed my brain and now I'm nothing more than a human-mimicking creature that bases all of my actions on what I think is normal human behavior rather than just doing things naturally

[ouroya]

[identitty-dickruption]

being abused or neglected really makes it clear how many things are skills that nobody really treats as. skills. exercising autonomy is a skill. listening to your body is a skill. resting is a skill. being liked and being loved are skills. nobody tells you how to do this shit because nobody even told me I was supposed to have learnt these things when I was a kid. I kind of just have to manually figure out what makes me freak out and work from there. unfair as shit

[hawks-man]

I don't think I'm going to survive this year. To be 100% honest I'm planning on not surviving past my birthday.

[yeoja]

nvm im ugly. selfie cancelled

[mattchewpicchu]

SCREAMING at this ad that I got

Tumblr never fucking change

[waltzingbi]

being held would be so cool. wish physical touch was real

[hawks-man]

To the tune of Airplanes by B.O.B: I could really use a hug right now hug right now

[andremichaux]

THE GOOD PLACE | 3.09

[emotionalwords]

i’m such a “i want your attention” but “won’t bother you” kinda person

[virtualgirladvance]

Got that vampire autism where you gotta invite me in every time

[daily-spooky]

[daftpatience]

slow down for your disabled friends. thats like a bare minimum kindness that we shouldnt have to ask for. i love that youre so quirky and walking fast is a cool personality trait to you and all that but i bet you can count your physically disabled friends on less than one hand

[daftpatience]

ohhh this one resonated didnt it