To everyone who ‘are/will be’ left behind, this is for you to read:
How do you get over losing someone you loved so much? Especially when it’s forever? Will the worse days really get better with time? Can you really move on from the excruciating pain? Will the hurt really go away?
No, the answer is no- you’ll never get over losing that loved someone. Like how can you when that someone helped build your heart and filled it with his/her memories? You will just simply never get over losing that someone. It doesn’t work that way, mostly. But trust me, you’ll move on and you will be okay.
I know it’s a very long process- one that’s filled with agony and sorrow. And it will never be easy. You’ll mourn everyday. You’ll cry breathlessly. You will feel like dying too. And think that tomorrow’s not worth living anymore. But eventually, you’ll survive through it all. It may feel like the pain’s not gonna end but it will, it always will.
You just have to feel it all at once. And you have to cry it out. You may feel like losing all your air or drying out your eyes from too much tearing but you gotta weep harder. Every time that lost someone appears in your mind, don’t hold yourself back; shout, cry again, get mad- do everything you wanna do to ease the pain but never, never think of taking your life too because what about the people who are still around and loves you? Besides, suicide is never a solution to end the pain. It is just a maximizer to suffering. And you don’t want to hurt forever, right? So don’t.
It’s tiring but you have to go through the hard process. You can wish to totally erase that someone’s memories in your heart so the pain will immediately go away but you can just wish... because you’ll never be spared. There’s no exception to the kind of pain death brings to the bereaved. As long as you love and care, you’ll be in despair when they leave you forever.
We are humans and we are subjects to pain. And as the people around us will slowly fade away as we all grow up, it’s also inevitable that we’ll lose someone we love dearly- once, twice, thrice, always- in this lifetime. But it is also our nature to learn how to cope up and survive amidst all the loses.
There is no other way than the only way, which is the hardest. And yes, you might never get over the death of that someone you deeply loved but you’ll slowly forget... the pain, the memories- all of it will someday turn just- bittersweet. When you finally learn to accept that that someone is always and forever gone, you can set yourself free and start moving on.
Because that’s just how life is- live, love, laugh, hurt, mourn, cry, move on, die- it’s a repetitive process that always starts with living and ends with dying. And we must never question the deaths of our beloveds to God because who are we to ask when our lives are actually just borrowed from Him?
We must sink in to our minds that everyone’s bound to end. Even when we love and care so much for them, they’ll soon leave us when God decides they do as we’ll also leave them. What we can do everyday is to pray to Him, that our time with them- the people we love- be lengthened. And that He will prepare us when He’ll decide to take them away... or vice versa. It will not hurt less but at least it will not hurt abruptly and will not leave a sudden extreme pain that is never expected.
Always remember that if it hurts too much and you think you can’t handle it anymore, He is always gonna save you as long as you fully surrender yourself to Him and trust Him with all your heart. He will carry your baggage with you so it won’t be too heavy for you to walk yourself out of despair. There may be no easy way but there’s a comforting and positive one and it’s with God. Always with Him.
