* HEAD / HEART

all the broken hearts in the world still beat. let's not make it harder than it has to be. ( sideblog to perfectmemory )

[healerhearted-archive]

satanmontgcmery‌:

      “I’ll have to tell Richard, for safety regulations.” Addison replied with a nod. She assumed her pregnancy was going to go down without complications, but she was a risk patient simply because she was over thirty. “As for the others,” Some of them would probably understand, some wouldn’t.

      Most of them hadn’t even known that she had been with Mark, surely there were rumors, especially after Derek had come to Seattle, but their relationship had long been over when her and Mark had gotten together. 

     “I´d say we figure this out first,” She pointed between them with a smile. “And once we´re sure what we´re going to do, we can tell people. If you need someone to talk other than me though, feel free to tell someone. Hey,” Resting a hand on his arm, Addison´s smile turned softer. “You´ll be great, don´t worry.”

      “ ‘course, yeah, ”  he agreed. he knew that someone needed to know just in case something happened, so there was no better person to tell than the chief. but he also agreed that they should keep things between the two of them for now. everything was so up in the air, & it would be far easier to tell people once they knew what was going to happen anyway.

      the assurance she offered him was much appreciated. he hadn’t even realized how much tension he had in his shoulders until she rested her hand on his arm. but even so, he smiled at her, & he shifted to wrap his arm around her. 

      “ between the two of us, i’d say we’ve got a pretty good chance of not screwin’ this kid up. ”

[healerhearted-archive]

satanmontgcmery‌:

Addison had always wanted kids. She´d always thought she wanted them with Derek, but everything in her life with him, no matter how effortless it had looked, had been a fight. With Mark, things were different. Being with him had been surprisingly easy. Always.

So maybe this was going to be alright, too. Smiling as she was pulled into a hug, Addison buried her face against his shoulder for a moment, closing her eyes. It wasn´t going to always be easy, but for the first time today, she didn´t feel like she needed to panic.

“We should probably schedule and ultrasound first,” Addison then eventually chuckled. “And…see how we´re going to do this. My place.” She paused. “Me at your place.”

      “ yeah, we got a lotta things to talk about. ”  he brought one hand to rub at the nape of his neck as he thought.  “ ultrasound first --- but who do we want to do it? are we keepin’ this a secret, or are we just gonna tell everyone? ”

      now that it was decided, they had even more questions than they’d started with. so many choices to make. it was a little bit terrifying, not that mark would admit it. he knew that this was only the tip of the iceberg too. 

      when the kid actually came --- god, what a nightmare that would be. not because of the kid, but because of how scared he is of screwing the kid up. but for the moment, he’d shove those fears down & focus.

[healerhearted-archive]

satanmontgcmery‌:

Addison had always wanted to be a mother. She´d tried with Derek, but maybe their failing marriage had been a sign to not try anymore. Things would have just gotten complicated and while she did think Derek would have been a good father she didn´t want them to stay together just because of a child.

Especially since there was Mark, who Addison cared for a great deal. Surely, they had sort of broken things off when coming here, but that didn´t mean that she didn´t still have feelings for him. 

Watching him for a moment she eventually reached out, taking his hand into hers. She could feel herself getting emotional already, tears welling up in her eyes. They were more happy tears than anything else, though. “Okay,” She then nodded. “Let´s do this then.”

      what addison said next surprised him. he honestly didn’t know what he’d been expecting, but it still came as a surprise.  “ really? ”  he asked, a bit bewildered by her agreement.  “ i --- yeah, let’s do it! ”

      a wide smile spread across his face as he squeezed her hand first, then he pulled her into a warm hug. he could feel the rush of excitement take over, but it was soon followed by a mild panic.

      as he pulled back to face her again, he said,  “ we gotta go shopping for baby stuff! y’know, a crib & clothes & toys & whatever the hell else we’ll need. ”

[healerhearted-archive]

mcneuros‌:

the brunette took a seat next to him, gently taking her coat off and putting it on the back of her chair. ❝ i’m not picky when it comes to drinks, i usually just have whatever the person i’m going out with is having. unless i’m feeling something special for the night. ❞ elena replied with a smiled and then asked the bartender for whatever mark was drinking. when she left the hospital, she figured it was going to be a little awkward when they first arrived so she figured they should just clear the air and start with some easy basics. ❝ well, i guess we should just start with getting to know each other? i mean, it’s kind of crazy that we’re both doctors. SURGEONS even, who ended up in the same city after all this time. do you have a family out here? ❞ she said biting her lip a little bit wondering if she was coming off too strong, but couldn’t help but be a little curious. 

      elena didn’t waste any time, & mark liked that about her. while sometimes he liked to move slower when it came to talking about himself, this was a special case. she was his SISTER, a sister he never knew he had.  “ it must be in the genes or somethin’, ”  he said, sipping his drink.  “ good ol’ gerry’s back in new york with the rest of my family, i guess. my mom’s still there, for sure. i followed friends over to seattle a few years back. it’s kinda a long story. ”  he sighed & rubbed a hand along his jaw before glancing back at elena.  “ what about you? what brings you all the way out here? ”

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mcneuros‌:

❝ that sounds great. i’ll see you then. ❞ elena smiled a little bit when he turned back around and called her “sis” as he walked away. it was a lot to take in, finding out that you had a half sibling you NEVER knew about but they both seemed to be handling it pretty well. the day had gone by pretty fast and she had finished up at the hospital, changing out of her scrubs before heading over to joe’s. she called the babysitter to make sure it was okay, she could stay a little later to watch jamie. once everything was all settled, the brunette walked into the bar and spotted mark already sitting down. she walked over noticing a lot of the doctors from the hospital around her, saying hi as she made her way over. ❝ sorry, i’m a little late. i had to make a phone call. i hope you didn’t give away my seat already? ❞ she joked

       the rest of the day felt a little bit like a blur. nothing he did was too complicated or taxing, so the day went by quickly. before he knew it, it was the end of his shift & he was free to go. he was free to have a drink with his sister.

      god, that was still so weird to think about. he suspected it would be weird for a while, so he brushed the thought off & changed out of his scrubs before heading over to joe’s.

      he got there before elena, so he orded himself a whiskey & waited for her to show up. when she finally did, he glanced up from his glass with a smile.  “ nah, still plenty of room for you. i wasn’t sure what you like to drink, so i didn’t order you anything yet. guess there’s a lot we have to catch up on. ”

[healerhearted-archive]

satanmontgcmery‌:

Deep down, Addison had known. She´d felt it before she´s had any confirmation, which was probably why she hadn´t wanted to take the quick test, because she wanted some more time, and to be fully sure.

Pregnant. 

She´d thought about having a baby with Derek for so long, but it had never worked out, maybe for a reason considering where they stood now. Leaning against the counter for a moment she let the papers sink. 

“I…don´t know.” Addison then eventually confessed. “Do you…I mean…do you want to be a father?”

      mark didn’t know what to say. of course he wanted to be a father. it’s something he’d wanted for a while now. it’s part of the whole reason why he’s started to get serious about dating & not just sleeping around. he wants stability. he wants to settle down.

     but he also didn’t want addison to feel trapped. he didn’t want her to make this decision because of what he said. she had other things going on in her life, & having a baby was a BIG commitment. even if she decided she did not want to be a part of this baby’s life, it was going to be nine months of hers.

      there was so much to consider. should he say it, should he not? he didn’t know. all he knew was that he wanted to be HONEST with her. so, drawing in a breath, mark shut his eyes for a moment & nodded.  “ i do, addie. i think i’ve wanted that for a while now. but, ”  he paused to open his eyes and look at her.  “ you have to consider what you want & what’s best for you. ”

[healerhearted-archive]

mcneuros‌:

elena couldn’t help but laugh a little and nodded her head. ❝ no, he couldn’t and he didn’t care about hiding his affairs either. he really is something. ❞ she replied with a shake of her head and then crossed her arms. ❝ oh, of course. it sounds like we have a lot to catch up on. ❞ 

      “ okay, ”  he says, a tired laugh leaving him.  “ i’m gonna grab a drink at joe’s after work, ‘n you’re welcome to join me, if you want. ”  just then, his pager beeps, so he reaches into his pocket to pull it out.  “ but right now, i gotta go. ”  as he turned to exit the trauma room, he pauses & glances over his shoulder.  “ see ya later, sis. ”

[healerhearted-archive]

satanmontgcmery‌:

       At this point Addison wasn´t even quite sure which one of the two test results she would prefer. Mark and her might not have been able to do well in a relationship before, but they´d be great parents. She´d always wanted kids, and Mark was caring, even if he might not have seemed like it at first glance.

    Taking a deep breath, her hands shaking slightly, she eventually grabbed the paper from him. She´d tried getting some sort of reaction, but his face was neutral, and Addison wasn´t sure if that was a good, or a bad thing.

      the test had come back positive. addison was pregnant. the revelation is just as stunning as he had expected it to be, & he’s feeling so many emotions at once that he simply doesn’t know how to react. 

      he’s leaning back against the countertop now, both hands gripping the edge for stability. his gaze is fixed on the floor as he tries to sort out what to say or do. there’s a long silence before he speaks.  “ what do you want to do? ”

[healerhearted-archive]

satanmontgcmery‌:

           Addison still wasn´t sure how she was supposed to feel about all of this. She wanted kids, more than anything, but was she ready to deal with what was to come if she was actually pregnant? She would have been absolutely ready to raise a child on her own, but this? This was different.

         “Okay.” Taking n a deep breath she reached out to take his hand, squeezing it lightly. “I´m ready.” Maybe that wasn´t entirely true, but it would have been way worse going around without knowing what was actually happening. At least that was what Addison kept telling herself.

      mark gave her hand a little squeeze in return before letting go so that he could open the envelope. he could feel his heart rate increasing now, & he could feel the sweat forming on his palms. but as he pulled the results out of the envelope, he focused on nothing but what the page said.

      his eyes skimmed across the page until he found what he was looking for. & for a moment, he’s silent. his expression is unreadable. wordlessly, he hands the page to addison so that she can see for herself.

[healerhearted-archive]

iclearupyourshit‌:

“As fun as that sounds– and it does sound fun– I should probably…”  The last thing Ianto wanted to do was make his problems Zara’s problems too, in any way, but maybe that didn’t have to happen.  Maybe, just this once, he could shut his damn mouth and go spend time with his friend whom he’d only reconnected with a couple months ago, completely problem free!  That sounded like a great plan.  “You know what– never mind.  Thank you for inviting me over, Zara: I’m on my way.”

The Welshman couldn’t stop himself from smiling as he slid into the driver’s seat of his car and switched to Bluetooth.  It was… touching when people wanted to spend time with him, even more so when it was their idea.  Still, as happy as he was there was one thing he had to do before he hit the road.  “.. Please hold while I make a quick call.”  Once their call was put on hold he immediately dialed a new number– Uber.  “My name is Ianto Jones and I’m afraid my date and I had a falling out tonight–”  No point in going into detail, “Could you please come pick her up so she isn’t tempted to drive home?  She’s best friends with the bar right now, it seems.”  The appropriate information was given, including what she looked like all the way down to the color of her stockings, Ianto thanked the man and that was the end of that.

One more click—  “And we’re back!”  He put the car in drive, then, and exited the car park as smoothly as one could on a Friday night.

      as ianto put her on hold, zara rose from her seat on the sofa & began tidying up the place. it was by no means a disaster, as she’d had the foresight to give her apartment a deep cleaning just a few days before, but even in the last few days, it had gotten a bit disorganized.

      setting her phone to speaker mode, she began moving about the living room, placing various objects back to their rightful places. dishes in the washer, books on shelves, papers on the desk, & so on.

      by the time ianto returned, she’d finished the job, so she picked up her phone once more.  “ hello again, ”  she says with a teasing smile.  “ where’d you go off to? ”

[healerhearted-archive]

satanmontgcmery‌:

Not many people in this place knew about their attempt at a relationship, though they knew they had worked together and had been friends for a long time, so they wouldn´t be surprised if they saw them together. Addison could feel her heart missing a beat as he nodded for her to join him and, after taking a deep breath, followed him. 

Pushing the door open and slipping inside Addison leaned against the door, eyes meeting with his. “Have you opened them yet?” She asked, not quite sure if she trusted her voice to actually work.

      once addison had entered, mark stood up straight, envelope in hand. he swallowed thickly & shook his head in response to her words.  “ not yet, ”  he said.  “ i was waiting ‘til you were here. we should do it together. ”  then he held out the envelope toward her & stood at her side, waiting. 

      he was incredibly nervous, though he wasn’t sure what for. there were a few possibilities, all of which weren’t ideal. either way, someone would be at least A LITTLE upset.

[healerhearted-archive]

iclearupyourshit‌:

“A real catch is one way of putting it,” the Welshman muttered dejectedly into his phone.  His first date in nearly— well, it had been a long time— and he bailed twenty minutes in.  Lovely.  Time to drink himself silly at his flat.  “Yep, definitely: I’ve never been more sure.”  Torchwood agent or not, he was glancing over his shoulder every twenty seconds as he walked.  Being too careful was a myth.  “For the time being.  Thanks again, by the way: I know that was kind of… odd, so I appreciate the help.  I owe you dinner and a round of drinks.”

      “ sure, ”  she says, laughing.  “ if you need some company, i was just about to binge-watch something on netflix. i hadn’t decided WHAT yet, but you’re welcome to join me. i have plenty of wine to go around. ”

      she glances at the full bottle she had yet to open, then behind her to the cabinet full of alcohol in her kitchen.

[healerhearted-archive]

iclearupyourshit‌:

Tell her about the work he was doing— right.  The last time they saw each other Ianto was employed at the tailor shop a couple blocks from his house- a normal job- so it only made sense Zara would think he was STILL doing safe work.  Not, you know, risking his life on a daily basis for the sake of humanity.  He was going to have to come up with a convincing cover story if he wanted to keep Zara in the dark.

“It’s a date,” he agreed pretty easily for someone currently having an intense moral battle with himself.  “I— here.”  Ianto wrote his number down on a newly freed sticky note and handed the light blue paper to the woman with a gentle smile, “I know how all over the place a hospital’s schedule can be, so text or call whenever you have time.  No rush as they say.”

      “ perfect! ”  zara beamed brightly as she took the sticky note & tucked it away in her pocket.  “ i’ll let you know when i have some time. ”

      she could hardly believe that she had run into ianto again. it had been YEARS since they’d last seen each other. if she was remembering correctly, the last time they had, she had still been convinced she was going to be a model or a fashion designer. so much had changed since then.

      she wondered what he was up to, but unfortunately, she didn’t have the time to sit down and talk just yet. in fact, she was running just a little bit late.  “ i’ve gotta run now, but we’ll talk soon, yeah? ”

[healerhearted-archive]

satanmontgcmery‌:

   Addison was glad that she didn´t have any important surgeries scheduled today. On one had those would have been a distraction, sure, but on the other hand she wasn´t sure how well she could have concentrated on anything. She had a couple of appointments and a shift at the clinic, so that helped.

   Still, there was that small voice in the back of her mind, asking her what she´d do if she was pregnant. Could their friendship handle this? Would she be able to have an abortion? Addison firmly believed in women´s right to have control over their bodies, and a fetus wasn´t a child, but still. It was different when you were in that situation.

   Finishing her coffee she sighed, glancing at her watch. Were the results in already? She debated on whether or not to call Mark, but he had promised to tell her when there were any news, so Addison waited.

      on his way back from the lab with the results, mark crossed paths with addison. as their eyes met, he drew in a deep breath & gave a small nod in the direction of the room. it was subtle enough that anyone watching wouldn’t think much of it, but it was enough to convey the urgency of the situation without a word.

      he made his way into the room first, hand gripping the unopened envelope tightly. he then came to stand by the counter, posture stiff, yet jittery in anticipation. he wouldn’t open the results without addison, as much as it was killing him. they were in this together, whatever the answer may be.

[healerhearted-archive]

satanmontgcmery‌:

           She could have taken a normal test, but Addison knew those weren´t always accurate. And…somehow she was afraid, too. Besides, she´d now taken the blood test, which was accurate and she wouldn´t have to worry if the test was right. Or worse, if it wasn´t then be surprised.

       “Good,” She nodded in agreement and reached out for his hand, squeezing it lightly. “Thank you,” Addison then added before she turned towards the door.

      once addison had gone, mark sighed & brought a hand to the bridge of his nose. the stress of this situation was giving him a bit of a headache, but it wasn’t anything he couldn’t handle. the result of this test, though --- who knew if he could handle that? 

      he gave addison a few minutes’ headstart before finally emerging from the room with the blood sample. after dropping it off at the lab with very specific instructions to page him when the results were ready, he went back to work. luckily, his schedule was easy today. lots of stitches & lipo, mindless work.

      by the time he got the page that the results were ready, he was feeling a little more relaxed. but the message on his pager brought that tension right back. he shot a message to addie to meet him in the same room before heading back to the lab to pick up the results.

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mcneuros‌:

elena was shocked to find out that she had a half brother, that she had known nothing about for the past thirty-two years. the brunette took a deep breath and then shook her head. ❝ hm, well i guess that makes us brother and sister. ❞ she shook her head, trying to take it all in and then laughed a little bit. ❝ yeah, well he sure know’s how to get around. ❞ 

      snorting softly, mark shook his head as well.  “ yeah, good ol’ gerry never could keep it in his pants. ”  then he rolled his eyes & allowed his arms to fall to his sides.  “ so i guess we are. this is probably the part where go out ‘n have a long, drawn-out meal together & bond about our mutual fatherlessness, right? so, whaddya say? ”

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iclearupyourshit‌:

“Since exactly three minutes ago when my date for the evening reached over the table and grabbed my hand like it was the first hand she’d ever held.”  Ianto was behaving out of character tonight– hiding in an alley while Tammy yelled his name over and over from the door of the restaurant– but he truly believed the odd behavior was reasonable, under these circumstances anyway.  “I told you about the wedding rings, right?  She was trying to play footsie with me, too.  One more minute in there and she would have changed her name to Tammy ‘Insert Middle Name Here’ Jones.”

      “ my god, she’s a real CATCH ianto. are you sure you don’t want to go back & snatch her up before someone else does? ”  she laughs. obviously, she’s joking. tammy sounds like a NIGHTMARE to her. she wonders for a moment what prompted her to act that way, but another moment goes by and she’s focused on her friend again.  “ are you free from her now, then? ”