A Summary Of The Transformers Franchise
Generation One Cartoon: A four season long shitpost. Really wants you to buy some toys.
Transformers The Movie: All My Friends Are Dead The Movie. Featuring a musical score by somebody with a serious hard-on for rock music.
Marvel Comic: A grand cosmic adventure spanning thousands of years and tackling themes of morality and faith, interspersed with the goofiest shit imaginable.
Headmasters: Only notable for the terrible dub. Fortress Maximus has come himself.
Masterforce: Things go off the rails. Wishes it was a Gundam show.
Victory: Things go back to normal. Starring BURNING JUSTICE. Probably the best of the animes.
Zone: A yaoi anime posing as Transformers. An utter enigma. Probably would’ve been hilarious if it got past the first episode.
Generation Two: The one everybody forgets. Contains dangerous amounts of 80’s and terrible rap music.
Beast Wars: The Transformers become furries in order to survive in the time of cavemen. Somehow manages to be awesome despite a bizarre premise.
Beast Machines: Also known as “Why You Don’t Fix Things That Aren’t Broken”.
Robots In Disguise: That guy at work who you don’t hate, but you don’t exactly like him either. Starring a shark that does poetry.
Transformers Universe: Unicron abducts Transformers from across the multiverse in an epic clash, but you won’t see that because of bankruptcy. Meanwhile the writers go on an epic yet obsessive quest to undo Beast Machines.
Armada: A wacky scavenger hunt for Pokémon leads to the deaths of hundreds. Everybody keeps forgetting everybody else’s names for some reason.
Energon: The screw-up the rest of the family hates. You expected nothing and you were still disappointed. Has weirdly good music.
Cybertron: Unexpectedly good. Doesn’t get as much respect as it probably should.
Dreamwave Comics: Professionally published fan fiction. Everyone pretends they never liked it to save face. All the characters have the Ctrl-Alt-Delete face.
IDW Comics: Professionally published fan fiction, except it’s actually good this time. Won’t stop until every character is gay.
Transformers Timelines: Also known as “those sweet comics and toys you’ll never get because they were only at BotCon almost a decade ago”.
Transformers Collectors Club Magazine: Same as Timelines, only now it’s monthly magazine.
Kiss Players: The actual WORST. Embodies every horrible stereotype about Japanese media. You’ll probably get arrested if you read it in public.
Bayverse: The red-headed stepchild. Makes a ton of money but is so obnoxious everyone else ignores it.
Animated: Was too good for this sinful world. More anime than the actual animes. Inspires a lot of really weird fanfics.
Ask Vector Prime: A grandpa from beyond space and time gets on Facebook to fix Transformers continuity, then gets pissed when everybody just asks him to give names to random background characters.
Transformers Prime: What Bayverse would’ve been if it was competently made. Dwayne Johnson is in the first episode for no readily apparent reason.
“For Cybertron” Games: The only video games in the franchise even worth mentioning. Gears Of War with robots.
Rescue Bots: Pure and innocent in every way.
Robots In Disguise: Has nothing to do with the first “RID”. Ostensibly a sequel to Prime, but feels like it didn’t really want to be one.
Transformers Devastation: Okay so there’s another game worth mentioning. The people who made Bayonetta bring their trademark anime-ass gameplay to Transformers.
Combiner Wars Cartoon: A total shitshow.
Beast Wars Uprising: Cybertron finally gets an export of “The Hunger Games”, leading to a violent revolution that kills millions. For some reason all the stories are named after Tumblr social justice terms.
Transformers Cyberverse: Windblade babysits Bumblebee and gets into wacky hijinks after the horrific collapse of society. Also Soundwave dances at the club.
