recovery

🌸 Clara / Cherri. nonbinary. they/she. 🌸 mental health, recovery + self-care blog ☆★☆ 《about》 (I follow from liminalapocrypha)

[crippledpunks]

cleaning is extremely difficult. cleaning your home, your office, your car, your personal space, your clothes, your body, anything- cleaning is an intensive process that involves a lot of small movements, focus, and stamina. many people struggle with the various aspects of cleaning, whether it's the executive function involved with executing or conceptualizing each step involved, fatigue from having to gather supplies and move around, pain from long periods of time on one's feet or repetitive motion, drain from struggling to focus, or whatever else,

a lot of people are affected by the difficulty of cleaning. depression, adhd, schizophrenia, autism, fibromyalgia, hypermobile joints, EDS, POTS, MS, chronic GI problems, chronic pain, chronic fatigue and other disabling conditions can make cleaning and keeping a space clean over time very difficult if not impossible for a lot of people- please be kind to those who struggle with cleaning, and kinder to yourself if you struggle to keep up with cleaning. it is a very difficult task. it's not your fault you struggle with it.

[thoradvice]

something important to remember is that there's always time. if you lost many years to abuse or mental illness, you will get a chance to live life on your terms. there is no limit on the age you have to be to achieve goals. you can go back to school at 30, or switch careers at 40. you can start new hobbies at any age. there is no cut off age for being happy and content. if you're trapped right now, you will get the opportunity to become who you want to be.

[wlfgrrl]

[ectoslab]

I think the best thing I have taught myself while learning to live with ADHD is that it’s okay to cheat.

Yes, brushing your teeth is hard, but only doing it for 30 seconds is better than not doing it at all, and it makes the days where you can stand at the sink for the full 2 minutes all the more triumphant.

Sometimes, washing my face is just beyond me, so cleansing face wipes are the hero of the day when I can’t handle the sensory ick of splashing my face with water. The face lotion’s in a pump bottle right next to the wipes, so even if I take the easy way, it’s simple enough to then grab a pump, slap it on and go.

Washing my hair is a monumental task for me, so dry shampoo lives on the same shelf as the face wipes and lotion. If I get out of the shower and my hair is still dry, I can grab the bottle and dust out my hair to get another day or two out of it.

My deodorant also doesn’t live in the bathroom, it lives on my bedside shelf, because I get dressed in the bedroom so my brain automatically connects putting on deodorant with putting on a shirt.

Even with the stuff that feels like a Big Chore, sometimes you have to cheat and break tasks into smaller steps. Sure, “doing the laundry” is big and nebulous, but when you break it down like this,

Suddenly, you have a bunch of really small, easily manageable tasks. (I also highly recommend, if you own an apple product, taking advantage of the checklist function in the notes app. It’s a game changer.) With each one you finish, you get closer to being done the big thing, and you get a little dopamine for acknowledging you’ve finished each step!

Anyway, I think my whole point is that life and success and care isn’t measured by how you get things done. You’re the one playing the game. You can use whatever cheat codes you want, in order to win.

[theambitiouswoman]

I found this on twitter and I just 🥺

[autisticchangeling]

Shout out to disabled people who don't, can't, or shouldn't drive. You are not a burden, and even if you technically ""could"" drive you are not obligated to if it would be unsafe for you or others

Not being able to drive can be an inconvenience, but it is not a moral or personal failing. If anything, the failing is on behalf of society for not having better and more convenient public transportation for everyone

[thoradvice]

25% is better than 0%. trying a little is better than not trying at all. eating a protein bar is better than nothing. using dry shampoo is better than not showering. cleaning one section of your room or house is better than not cleaning any of it. writing a paragraph of your essay is better than not starting it. whatever you can manage today is okay. you can try again tomorrow. little steps are to be proud of.

[love-notes-to-survivors]

Choosing to take a break is actually a really responsible thing to do: it means you noticed you weren't able to keep up with the same demands or pace you were going at and you chose to honour your limits and make your health the longterm priority.

[freegan-life]

Leftists, I want y’all to destroy the idea of “laziness” yesterday

Motivation, patience, and energy are limited resources, especially for people with executive dysfunction, mental disabilities, and physical disabilities.

Next time you want to assume you or someone else is being “lazy”, consider the actual reasons behind why there is not enough in them to do the thing.

Left to their own devices, free people are naturally driven to improve their lives and the lives of others,

Right wing arguments’ foundations depends on the assumption that humans are naturally selfish, evil, and “lazy”, and must be controlled by higher powers and punished when they don’t contribute enough (with the insistence that certain groups of people are more deserving of being controlled and punished than others)

Next time you notice you or someone else is struggling to accomplish something, don’t assume “laziness”, instead ask yourself: am I tired? Depleted of patience? In a bad mood? If I keep pushing myself through this, will it really be worth the distress?

Maybe what you need is rest, someone to talk to, mental health support, or to just be safe, with all your needs being met. Maybe we should eliminate “laziness” as an easy explanation and instead consider our needs first.

[daisypath]

Laziness Does Not Exist

Psychological research is clear: when people procrastinate, there's usually a good reason

I hope you don’t mind me adding this article. I think it is relevant and it had a hand in shaping my thoughts on the matter.

[metalheadsagainstfascism]

The idea of “laziness” is rooted in abelism.

I have chronic fatigue, anemia, and insomnia. I don’t need people bitching at me because I’m tired all the time. I don’t need people assuming my fatigue is related my ability to do the work.

Not even to mention how many people called me lazy because I can’t get out of bed because of my migraines.

And think about how this compounds on BIPOC disabled people. Many minorities are called “lazy” as is. When you add the stigmas associated with disabilities.

Speaking of chronic fatigue. I’m too tired to do words. Here’s an article.

The Ableist, Racist, Classist Underpinnings Of ‘Laziness’

‘Laziness’ is nothing more than a value judgement.

-fae

[cryptcatz]

question: do ppl ACTUALLY say things they don’t mean when they’re angry? or is that just an excuse after letting something true slip? i wouldn’t ever say something i don’t mean in anger, so the concept confuses me.

but something was said to me that is bothering me, though apparently was said in an argument and wasn’t meant. but i don’t rlly believe it wasn’t like, deep down true thoughts/feelings??? anyone have any insight? anyone say things they don’t mean in anger?

[talestobetold]

To my understanding (also autistic lol), there’s two things people mean when they say this, whether they know it:

1. “I said something I didn’t mean to say and I’m sorry I said it.” There are lots of things people leave unsaid because they know it’s unfair, irrational, or unnecessarily hurtful. Also lots of things that are just hurtful, so it’s a mixed bag

2. “I made a dumb leap of logic because my angry brain wasn’t working like my calmed brain.” This can apply to projection (“Why are you mad at me?”), paranoia (“I just know you’re about to break up with me.”), jumping to conclusions (“Oh, you just want to run off to that friend of yours, don’t you?”), etc etc

I think people usually mean the former but the latter definitely exists. Hope this helps

[drtanner]

I'm not autistic but I have been in plenty of very angry arguments and so I can tell you that there is a Secret Third Thing™, which is "I said something not because I actually believe it's true but because I was angry and wanted to hurt you."

You'd be surprised at how often that one happens.

[eroticcannibal]

Theres also "i said something that was true *in the moment*, but this does not reflect how I feel 99% of the time". Think kids screaming that they hate you before storming off.

[random2908]

There’s also “I said something that was the obvious next response, given that we were arguing, given the point that the argument had already escalated to, and given that I felt cornered in having to disagree. But my real belief is way more moderate and nuanced than that, and I never would have said that at any time other than when an argument had already reached that stage.” That’s actually such a common error in certain types of arguments that some really good debaters will try to push their interlocutor into on purpose, to make them look dumb or extreme.

But mainly, there are a hell of a lot of times when being honest about your feelings, and especially your temporary in-the-moment feelings, is counterproductive. When you slip up and say the quiet part out loud, usually the best thing you can do is apologize and disavow it. Maybe you even meant it in some technical sense of believing it in your head. But you did not mean it in the sense that you didn’t ever want the consequences of saying it out loud. And importantly, the latter is more important to you than the former, whatever it is was never going to be worth the consequences and saying it was a mistake.

[moriarty]

kinda random, but as someone who has serious existential slash depressive meltdowns more frequently than i’d like, i’ve been trying to find my way out of these thought mazes for years, and i’ve come to the conclusion that trying to combat it by going a few levels even more abstract in the philosophical meter - which is what i personally thought had to be the answer for a long time - is, in a lot of cases, counterproductive 

what i mean by that is that i’m (still slowly) beginning to realize that the only remedy for those particular types of crisis is not isolating yourself even more radically from tangible human experiences and trying to find the answer in your own head, but to fully immerse yourself in daily life as much as possible, and allow yourself to be really, truly part of the world you live in - a kind of poiesis of being, if we’re trying to be poetic, that’s about reinventing yourself with each second you remain open to the reality that is existing in the present moment. that won’t magically sort shit out for you, but i get the feeling it helps paint a different mental picture in which your thoughts can roam in, and maybe find different, new and hopefully better paths of thinking/being

having a rich inner life is possibly the most valuable part of existing as someone capable of cognizant thought, but if your brain goes at 100mph on the daily, it can reach exhaustion levels in the blink of an eye and start almost cannibalizing itself with anxiety and circular thought patterns. the beginning of it is: take a moment to stop. check out that building, the cobblestones in this street, that person selling their artwork on the sidewalk. this is the city you live in. these are the people you’re in the world with. there’s life outside of yourself

[uncle-dre2-deactivated20210813]

[highhoneypiee]

Pick a bottle any bottle lol

[artisanalbooty]

[volumenviridis]

I recently read an article about a therapy group for depressed people who had all attempted suicide at some point. The breakthrough question for them was, “If your goal was to be just as miserable as possible, what would you do?” Most of them listed things like not getting enough sleep, or isolating themselves from everyone… the list goes on, but the point is, they listed things they already do. But now they saw those “coping mechanisms” for what they really were: things that were actively making their condition worse.

I read that article at 2:00 AM, asked myself, am I TRYING to be miserable tomorrow? And it was easier than usual to put my phone down and fall asleep. Even my intrusive “lying down” thoughts about meaninglessness and existential dread were easier to suppress when I framed them as things I’d think about to purposefully make myself feel as awful as possible.

[crystalwitch-in-the-tardis]

Fuck that is helpful

[notabled-noodle]

normal vs disordered: fatigue edition

normal: feeling tired at the end of a long day

not normal: feeling tired regardless of what you’ve done that day

normal: waking up tired every now and then due to stress or lack of sleep

not normal: waking up tired most mornings

normal: getting a little tired after standing for long periods of time

not normal: not being able to stand for very long without tiring out. being stood up drains your energy

normal: being tired more often during times of peak stress and lack of sleep, but otherwise fine

not normal: being tired/exhausted consistently for over 6 months

normal: melting into the sofa after a long day, and then struggling a little to get up

not normal: being too exhausted to move, to eat, to talk, or to do anything a person might be expected to do in an evening

normal: not liking to get out of bed in the morning

not normal: having mornings where you physically cannot get out of bed, or struggle greatly to get out of bed

the key thing is that it is not normal for you to spend most of your time being too tired to do daily tasks, and it is not normal to exist in a constant state of exhaustion. if possible, you should seek help if you’ve been experiencing fatigue for a while

[lousydrawingsforgoodpeople]

[klefable]

[tag-devilish]

Shoutout to the breakers of generational curses

[xiaofiaan]

[ID: a drawing of a snake wrapped in a circle around the words "The Cycle Ends Here". at the top of the drawing, the snake is biting off its own tail. end ID]

[gatheringbones]

depathologizing your own responses to things means no longer worrying about which symptom matches which diagnosis matches which branded treatment model and instead practicing gentle non-judgmental curiosity about what you’re going through from the perspective of someone who wants to fulfill one of the most basic and primal needs for you which is the sensation of being seen and heard