[ID: A compilation of Tiktoks by taryndelaniesmith. The first one is captioned “Me and my homegirl the moment we arrive at the thrift shop:” and features two black women that look to be in their twenties. The first one on screen (theebridalbible) is larger, wearing a red trench coat and a tall hat over her normal attire. She’s holding a briefcase-esque piece of luggage and says in a transatlantic accent, “Got to get out of here, Billy. I’m leaving.” The woman playing Billy (taryndelaniesmith) wears a puffy brown coat with fur lining the neck over her (also brown) outfit, and has a fedora perched on top of her head. She responds, also in a transatlantic accent, “You’re leavin’, are ya? See if those fat cats in the city give a lick about ya!” As she speaks, she holds her mouth in a way so that most of her teeth are visible, and it often leaves her mouth in a sneer when she finishes talking. Both of them speak rather quickly, though Billy’s quick speech is particularly noticeable. The first woman says, “I don’t love you anymore, Billy. I’ve got to go.” Billy, whose hat is now balanced precariously at an angle on her forehead, says, “Don’t leave me, baby.” “Baby” says, “I’m gettin’ out of town. I’ve gotta see the stage.” She waves her hand wide in the classic ‘I dream of the theater’ pose. “You’re gonna be a show girl, are ya,” Billy asks. “Alright. See what the kids think about that.” There’s a close-up on her face as she says, “That’s right,” then zooms back out as she continues, “Think you’re taking the kids with ya? Think again. I’m taking it all.” She takes her hat off her head to press it against her chest, pleading again, “Don’t leave me, baby.” There are a few cuts of both of them wheezing, and Billy says, “Listen, see,” with a little *back in character* caption before the screen blacks for a moment to transition to the next part.
It begins with the woman playing Billy sitting on a couch with a new woman (tiffonfifth) in a beige-toned room. A comment in the top left from Melissa (flower emoji) asks, “Where’s part 2?! (pleading and sobbing emojis).” There’s a knock on the door, and Billy’s actress asks, in a normal voice, “Who is that?” “Oh, that’s her now,” the new woman says. “Who?” is ignored in favor of calling “Come in!” Baby’s actress opens the door, smiling, though she stops short after a few steps inside. “Thought you could escape me, did ya, toots?” Billy asks, in the transatlantic accent and suddenly wearing a boater hat. Jazzy instrumental music begins playing in the background. “Think again.” “What’s the big idea, Billy? You following me now?” Baby, previously dressed in a jumpsuit, is now in a luxurious black fur coat. Her hair’s dolled up with a black beret with white beads on top, and she holds a piece of silvery luggage. “Come inside, baby, before you catch a cold,” Billy tells her. She’s suddenly wearing a brown fur coat and standing. The new woman stands next to her, wearing a sheer, fluffy, pink coat, a pink beret, and sunglasses. She’s holding part of a Slim Jim as a fake cigarette and drags under her nose, sniffing deeply. “Here, doll. Warm yourself up with this.” Billy offers a lit match to the new woman, lighting her Slim Jim. She pretends to take a drag of it and blow out some smoke.
Baby shuts the door and turns around dramatically, adjusting long black gloves as she says, “So you caught me. You couldn’t just let me have it, could you, Billy?” She hugs herself. “You couldn’t give me just one moment under these big city lights.” “I search every two-bit dive bar in this town for ya and what have I got to show for it? A wife that don’t want me no more?” Billy complains, getting a slow close-up of her face as she talks. Her hat is almost vertical, completely covering one eye, and she sits with one leg crossed wide over the other and her hands on her hips. “Peggy, write this down!” The new woman, Peggy, startles and takes her Slim Jim cigarette out of her mouth, turning to a typewriter with a new, full length Slim Jim. “Let the record show,” Billy declares, followed by typewriter keys clacking. “I officially give up my search for my wife. Stop. You can scram!” Loud typewriter clacking accompanies her dictation. “Don’t leave me, baby. I didn’t mean it,” Billy tells Baby, uncrossing her legs and standing up to walk over to her. “Oh, not all this again, Billy,” Baby tells her. She gets a dramatic close up as she continues, “I don’t need you anymore. I’m a real ragtime gal!” She does a little dance, swishing her arms around and doing little steps. There’s a zoom to show off her footwork with the caption *distraught ragtime-ily* with faint wheezing in the background.
Peggy types out something else and adjusts her sunglasses. Baby stands in a guarded pose and says, “Warning you, Billy. I’m gettin’ out of here, one way or another.” She dramatically brings her arm up to show off a cardboard gun, aiming it at the viewer. “Don’t make me do it, Billy,” she says, distressed. “You didn’t think we’d come unarmed, did ya?” Billy asks. She’s sitting down, hat tipped over the front so that her eyes are covered, also holding a cardboard gun. “Well, think again, baby. I know ya too well. Peggy’s locked, loaded, and ready to go.” “Once your soup can business takes off, you’ll be rich as a king, and she’ll be sorry,” Peggy says, casually holding a cardboard gun. She takes a drag from a Slim Jim. “Don’t even think about calling that cat Benny over at the bar,” Billy warns, “'Cause he’s already ten feet under. Peggy killed 'im.” She gestures with her gun to Peggy, wheezing, and the camera pans to Peggy laughing. It then jumps to Billy standing, hat now upside down on her head. “I’d never blast ya,” she says, dropping her gun and holding her hands out. “Don’t leave me baby.” The last shot is of Billy yelling “Shut up, Peggy!” from offscreen. Peggy looks at her gun, one of the pieces of which has fallen off onto the couch, and laughs.
The screen flashes black for a moment, then the final part starts. The women playing Peggy and Billy walk through a city at night, wearing jackets and pajama-style pants. A comment on the lower left of the screen from Ajaika McLemore quotes from the previous skit, in all caps, “ONCE YOUR SOUP CAN BUSINESS TAKES OFF YOU’LL BE RICH AND SHE’LL BE SORRY.” Peggy’s actress is in the middle of a story, saying, “Shows up to the party, denim on denim. I said you’re at the plaza, honey. News flash: we don’t do that here. Crazy, right?” Billy’s actress makes little agreeing comments as she talks, then puts a hand up and they both stop. Baby’s actress comes down stairs onto the sidewalk and comes up short, displeased to see them. “Don’t act too glad to see me, will ya?” Billy asks. The jazzy music starts up in the background again. She has on a long black coat and a tall black hat. Peggy has a white patterned jacket shoved over her hoodie, sunglasses, a wig with curly red hair in a pixie cut, a coupe cocktail glass, and a Slim Jim that Billy is attempting to light with a wand lighter. The flame flicks on as Billy asks, “How’s the big city been treating ya?” Peggy takes a drag from the Slim Jim and pretends to blow out smoke. Baby now wears a black dress with a teal scarf and gold headdress with a purple feather in it, holding a glittery clutch. “Isn’t it tiresome, following me around like an old dog?” Baby asks cockily. “Would you believe me, toots, if I said it was a coinkydink running into you here?” Billy asks. Baby pulls a Slim Jim out of her clutch and sets it in her mouth. “On your street,” Peggy chimes in, “That you live on.” “Total coincidence,” Billy echoes.
“I’m living large off these Don Juans on Main Street,” Baby says, “How’s the soup can business treating you?” “Last month, we made twenty whole bozongas,” Billy brags. She has two hats now, one stacked on top of the other. “That’s enough to buy a house,” Peggy adds. “Peggy! Write this down,” Billy commands. Peggy opens up her typewriter and gets it ready to type as Billy continues, “Let the record show: I’m doing better than my conniving, cahooting wife.” There are a couple zooms in and back out for emphasis on “cahooting wife.” At this point, Peggy has started typing, one handed so that she can hold her Slim Jim in the other. Billy now holds the cocktail glass, hand over top of it rather than by the stem. “Scratch that, EX-wife.” Peggy pauses, then nods and types more. “You hear that, toots?” Billy asks. “Ex.” Baby laughs, a whole-chested, haughty affair. “Twenty whole bozongas? I make that on the trip to the powder room,” she tells Billy, pulling a gold watch out of her clutch and consulting it. “Oh, look at the time.” She pulls a sad face, flashing the watch briefly toward the viewer. “Guess I’ll have to catch up to you later,” Baby says, walking off, “Lots of teas, and-” “Yeah?” Billy asks, walking after her. “-balls and parties and-” “Why does it not surprise me that you’re running around on this town chasing balls, huh?” Billy asks. “Toodaloo,” Baby tells her, then kicks her feet dramatically in front and behind her as she walks off, showing off her gold heels. There’s the caption *departs ragtime-ily*, after which she stumbles a bit then folds over laughing.
We go back to Peggy typing on her typewriter, with Billy asking, “How many cans of soup do I gotta sell to be a millionaire?” Peggy types a bit more, then puts her Slim Jim to her mouth as she responds, “Sixty-two, boss.” “Sixty-two,” Billy echoes. “That means I’ve got just sixty left to sell. To the meat-packing district!” They walk off with their backs to the camera, Peggy holding the typewriter. There’s the caption *walks away in early twentieth century wealth* as they walk stiff-legged down the sidewalk, and the video ends.
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