>walking home from a party late one evening
>several guys were following me, as my drunk ass managed to piss them off by existing
>try to walk faster, to no avail, as I’m drunk as shit
>catch me in some random student neighbourhood
>oh shit, my ass is about to be beaten
>still in talking phase
>lights flick on in a house
>three guys in full musketeer garb walk out
>leader is some blond guy with a beard, eyepatch, and some weird-ass accent
>“What sort of ruffians would be accosting someone outside our residence? Stand and deliver!”
>guys start yelling at them to fuck off, that I deserved to get my ass beaten
>“Very well, then. Draw steel, you blackguard!”
>all three of them draw rapiers on their belts
>guys run
>“I know not why those foul men sought your harm, but come and tell us the tale, stranger!”
>spend remainder of evening drinking mulled wine with lunatics
>bunch of Swedish re-enactors live there
>blond guy is actually missing an eye; lost it in an machine shop accident
>stagger home completely drunk with a hat
I had no idea people like that existed. Or had the money to rent a house.
in addition to two comments reading “FUCKING EPIC” and “THIS A THOUSAND TIMES THIS” op elaborated further in another post:
Holy shit, is this still being posted?
I figure I owe /tg/ a bit of an update on these guys.
Their leader, O he of one eye and little common sense, nearly had his visa revoked for these kinds of shenanigans. One too many arrests meant that his right to stay in the country was contested, and he had to go to court to defend himself and prevent his visa from being revoked.
I was his ride to court, and had to testify to the board that he shouldn’t be deported for lack of common sense or social normality.
His defense? A written speech, about three pages long, about the rights of man, the education he has received here, and the opportunities for a one-eyed machinist. The spirit of his crimes were all in defense of people who would otherwise suffer. For other witnesses, he had some of the random people he’d helped out, including one memorable point where a woman, nearly on the verge of tears, pointed out how he’d taken on a guy threatening to rape her and carrying a knife by whipping out a fencing saber, disarming him, and mocking him in his thick Swedish accent so that the girl could call the cops. Something like a dozen people all showed up, explaining how this dude, despite his eccentricities, made the country better.
He was not deported, and lives here to this very day, stalking the streets in musketeer garb, rescuing drunks, and dispensing his own brand of justice.
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