I heard it was that time of year again.
edit because a bunch of people started following me for this post: if you're a harry potter / marauders fan-blog FUCK OFF !!!!
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祝日 / Permanent Vacation
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let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

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@hedban
I heard it was that time of year again.
edit because a bunch of people started following me for this post: if you're a harry potter / marauders fan-blog FUCK OFF !!!!
bigger than me now!
It's not corn, it's porn.
It's not grape, it's rape.
It's not pew pew, it's gun.
It's not unalive and unalived, it's murder and murdered.
It's not CP, it's CSAM.
AUDHD is Horrific
and People Don’t Talk About It Enough
Sometimes I wish people understood what it actually feels like to live with AUDHD the combination of Autism and ADHD. It’s not quirky, it’s not “cute,” and it’s definitely not just being distracted or socially awkward. It’s a daily battle inside your own mind, and most of the world never sees the internal exhaustion behind it.
Living with AUDHD means having a brain that can’t decide whether it wants absolute structure or total chaos. One moment you’re overstimulated to the point of shutting down, and the next moment you’re stuck in a spiral of hyperactivity and racing thoughts. You crave routine but get bored of it. You want to focus but your brain refuses to cooperate. You want calm, but everything feels too loud, too bright, too fast.
People see the outside the forgetfulness, the fidgeting, the sensitivity, the intense interests and they assume it’s manageable. But they don’t see the burnout that hits without warning. They don’t feel the sensory overload that makes small things feel unbearable. They don’t experience the guilt of wanting to do things but being unable to start, or the frustration of trying your absolute best while still being labeled “lazy,” “dramatic,” or “unmotivated.”
And the worst part is the loneliness. Because AUDHD often makes you feel “too much” for everyone. Too sensitive, too emotional, too intense, too overwhelmed. So you learn to mask. You pretend you’re fine. You try to act “normal,” even when your brain is screaming.
But here’s the truth: AUDHD is not a character flaw. It’s not a choice. It’s a reality that deserves understanding, compassion, and awareness. People who live with it are fighting battles every single day and doing it quietly.
If you know someone with AUDHD, be kind. Be patient. Believe them. Support matters more than you realize.
I feel like a lot of people get "All Art is Political" confused with "All Art is made with Political Intentions" which is not the same.
You get transported into the universe of the last media you consumed. How are you doing?
This is better than my real life
I'm doing well
I'm doing fine
I'm not having a good time
I'm absolutely cooked
There is nothing different about this universe and my own
Comic by: Kirai Yu
ok so, I approached my local library with a proposal to donate a mural as a way to A: build portfolio/gain practical experience and B: give back to a beloved public institution. The director was very enthusiastic about it and i've been working on it since the beginning of March. Come with me as I endeavor to paint what is in all honesty an excessive amount of birds
I wanted the birds to look like they were actually in the space so first thing after doing the draft was to do a lighting study
after that I covered the walls in letters in lieu of a projector/vr headset bc i have neither of those :) Then i take a picture of the section of wall and superimpose the lineart over top of it so I can pencil in the lines
et voila
and that was a whole week on it's own so next comes the paintin' >:)
and now, the birds
Birds 1 and 2/14: Red Winged Blackbird, Male and female, Agelaius phoeniceus
Bird 3/14, American Robin, Turdus migratorius
hoo boy, ok *out of breath*
GIVE IT UP FOR BIRD NUMBUH 5, THE CANADIAN GOOSE, Branta canadensis!!!!
this guy took me about 4 days to completely finish, all of those freakingk coverts were a bear to render
speaking of obnoxious coverts:
bird 5/14, Bluejay, Cyanocitta cristata
the friggin stripes almost got me chat, i may not make it
Madam....
birds 6 and 7: American Goldfinch, Spinus tristis, male and female
pleasantly simple to paint! next is the flickerrrrr
*melts into goo*
BIRD NUMBER 8, (yellow shafted) NORTHERN FLICKERRRRR, Colaptes auratus
genuinely made me start questioning my sanity around day 3, it's half the size the of the goose, WHY did it take me 4 days to finish??
nothing but pain and suffering, i'm sure hope the next bird will be much easier and with FAR less barring :)
in other news, I am losing my mind hairline
SHE'S DONE!!
Bird number 9: Red-tailed hawk, Buteo jamaicensis
my chains are broken i am FREE. although i did have a great deal of fun with this, the barring on the wings itself took me like four days and i am READY to move on
this was a week and a half of continuous work so please excuse me for getting a little emotional in the bg 🙏
*does a little jig*
BIRD NUMBER 10!!! The Male Mallard Duck, Anas platyrhynchos
the male and female ones are gonna be posted separately bc they're taking a lot longer lol but yea! super happy i was able to capture the iridescent green of the head, i found metallic green and blue paint at a craft store that really made his head POP. it looks better in person i promise
ALSO!! As this is the 10th one, BIG announcement. The end is in sight!!!!! I plan to finish within the next 3 weeks and there will be a small dedication ceremony/ unveiling happening at the library to commemorate its completion on the 16th of May. If you live in the Western New York region and want to check it out for yourself shoot me a dm!
Also thank you everyone for your kind words and support throughout this whole process, it's been a genuine treat thinking there are potentially thousands of you out there cheering me on while I paint this 🥹
aaaand another one bites the duck,
we're movin right along with bird numero 11!! The lady Mallard!! Anas platyrhyncos
the 16th is looming in the distance so i'm trying to get thru these as quickly as i can so i can have as much time for the GBH as possible. i still need to do the names next to all of them so i've got about a week and a half to finish everything which is GREAT because i have adhd and nothing gets my ass in gear like a fuckin deadline, let me tell you
power couple that they are, here's bird number 12 and 13,
the Northern Cardinals, Cardinalis cardinalis
and NOW that they are complete, ITS GO TIME, in the next five days (library's closed for mother's day 😭😭) i need to have the GBH fully rendered, the names of the birds vectored, weeded, masked, applied to the wall, and then painted, plus additional cattails throughout. I may be able to get away with just getting the GBH done in time for the unveiling and then just have the names and cattails added later, but i'm gonna really try to get it all done in time. BUT, i have a plan. Part of why i take so long on these is because i really am just figuring it out as I do it lmao. there have been many a time where i am sitting on top of the ladder googling "how to paint birds" but I think if i take the time tomorro to do all that figuring out how to approach it beforehand, this will go a lot faster. I may also recruit some of my artist friends to help with the placing of the names... hrmm we'll see.
Anyways, shout out to the librarian who tracked down exactly the thing i needed so i could figure out where to place the highlights in my birds eyes, ur the real mvp
thanks for the reminder, kid
at long last, we've reached the end...
Bird number 14 out of 14,
The Great blue heron, Ardea herodius
thank you to everyone who reached out or got excited about this project, it genuinely gave me the fuel i needed to keep going. In total, the 480+ total hrs it took me to cover this wall pales in comparison to how long its expected to spend on there, hopefully imparting a sense of beauty and love for the natural world to the next generation and here's hoping i'm only getting started with these.
i'll see y'all soon :')
more art of cat(aline), my nunsferatu VTM PC thats based on the concept of "you havent been fully abandoned by god bc your eyes are still so human"
she's got a crazy amount of vampire going on under that headdress but youd never guess
art tag // commission info
We've all gotten just a bit too comfortable being jerks to strangers on the internet I think
So I've hidden this reply, both because it's obnoxious and because I don't want the person who wrote it being harassed for it, but I need you to understand: I don't know you. We are not friends. This is not fun or cute, we are not sharing a charming joke together. You are just being an asshole.
literally that is what the post is about, I am saying people should be less eager to jump on any chance to be snarky and rude to total strangers on the internet
DID THE JOURNAL FACTORY FUCKING EXPLODE???
you said it yourself: you're looking to vent it LITERALLY ANYWHERE
so vent it somewhere private. or at least not literally aimed AT another person, a total stranger at that
Like, this reblogger sounds so insanely self centered in their reblog. notice how both options focus on how being rude would affect THEM. "B has no consequences for me so it's perfectly fine to do"
(the only reason I didn't show their username in the screenshot is because, given how self victimizing they sound in their reblog, I believe that, if I did show their username, suddenly online stuff wouldn't seem so inconsequential to them and they'd accuse me of sending harrassment their way and putting them in danger)
You said it better than I could. Of all the inane and ridiculous things I've seen in my notes because of this post, "I NEED to say fuck you to strangers or I will literally die" is certainly one of them
Is it okay for nonblack people to casually say the n word?
Yes
No
No, but- (nuance)
It seems we are not all on the same page about this, and I would genuinely like to know why. I thought the answer was obvious, but mayhaps we didn't all grow up with that understanding.
Is it difficult to not say the n-word as a nonblack person?
Yes
No
No, but- (nuance)
Like is there a temptation? A benefit? A gain that one might receive by saying it while nonblack?
Final question!
Would you trust a nonblack person who casually says/said the n-word?
(Black users only!)- Yes
(Black users only!)- No
(Black users only!)- Depends
(Everyone else)- Yes
(Everyone else)- No
(Everyone else)- Depends
If you believe that person is still trustworthy, why so? If you don't, why so?
I recently bought and played Gnosia, and one of my favorite loops I got has to be when watching a movie with Setsu and Shigemichi. Shigemichi cried that Setsu and the protagonist would be voted off for not partaking in the discussions as they were then assumed to be gnosia, but then it was revealed in the result screen that Shigemichi himself was gnosia!
One thing I will say I liked about Veilguard (and this is entirely with the way I played the series) is romancing Davrin with my antivan crow Rook, because in Origins I played as a dalish warden and romanced Zevran. So the start and the end of the journey was mirrored in a way, and I loved that
every day i’m like i should reduce my screentime today i should take a little break from tumblr and then 5 minutes later it’s like weeellllll….. surely just one little image wouldn’t hurt……. 🤦♀️
I know that P5X gets better with the third dungeon, but I really haven't had fun with the palace gameplay so I still haven't gotten farther than the first dungeon and I doubt I will
(I am making this post because I recently reinstalled the game after not touching it since july, and the gameplay still isn't enjoyable to me. It's also somewhat funny to me that it's the gameplay in P5X I don't like while not having any problems with P1 lol)
some kiddos my friends requested :)
Replaying Fire Emblem Fates while waiting for any news updates on Fortune's Weave