Le Random Shite ✨

INTP-T female. Random crap, don't ask because I don't know why The world is on fire… God’s not dead (but I am) Send help because I'm not doing it I'm legitimately crashing out and I just came back to this page after like two years and yall.... it was BAD 😭 😂

[ekiira]

[thecollectibles]

Art by Kyoung Hwan Kim

[anxietyproblem]

[sm2k99]

the for you page thinks I'm a gnome

[hela-odinsdottir]

It's my 5 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

[hela-odinsdottir]

The Day Has Come

now I never thought that the day would come when I’d defend this hellsite, but I tried to ask Reddit what to do about my self-confidence when trying to approach men I find attractive today, and why in the FUCK are they all just so full of Satan?? Like tumblr, my fellow whores and freaks and crazies. I love you. So much. Like I’d die for you guys. I cannot BELIEVE how fucking shitty Reddit is, what the actual fucky fuck

[lypsys]

"Write character relationships that are normal" WRONG ☝ CODEPENDENCY BEAM 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

[dinovelvet]

[sharkinablanket]

[thefoolishkat]

and they are the bestest of friends

[noahverrier]

My oil painting of a grilled cheese sandwich

[copperbadge]

Grill Life with Cheese

[mjfass]

New ask game:

Reblog if you want your followers to tell you what your trademark ™️ is. Like, what’s that thing that really identifies you.

[bunbunpa]

Bnnuy Ი𐑼

[fangirltothefullest]

ITS SO WONDERFUL!

[mothprincess]

Mary Oliver, from The Journey

[gentlesurgeryenjoyer]

request

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[dear-ao3]

[anxietyproblem]

[hela-odinsdottir]

trigger warning for those dealing with suicidal thoughts/self-harm like myself.

so I don’t know if anyone is going to care, or if anyone even reads my little scroll of nonsense on here anymore but I just have to tell people. I think for the past few years I’ve been struggling with some sort of depression. I haven’t been diagnosed with anything though because my parents don’t believe in depression/anxiety/adhd and don’t see a reason to get me tested for those things.

But I only just thought that maybe I am legitimately struggling with something. I didn’t think it was really an issue or something I should talk about often because obviously, there are people out there going through so much worse than me. I don’t get beaten every day. I don’t have to worry about going home every day to pay my landlord with my body so put a roof over my head. I haven’t gone through a war, etc.

Certainly I’ve been verbally abused. I’ve hurt myself before. But those physical scars faded and I tried to forget about them. And I’m not saying like, if someone’s gone through the same things I have that it’s any less valid than the others… but I never really understood I need therapy. And I still don’t “need” it in the sense that I don’t want to believe I do. I just didn’t realize that the mental scars stayed behind and the wounds kept reopening. i promised my best friend i wouldn’t c*t myself again, and i haven’t since i did. I’ve tried. But i couldn’t make myself do it. I kept thinking about that promise and, what if i accidentally c*t too deep and had to explain to my parents? They would yell at me. I don’t think they’d understand what’s going on. I still don’t know if this is even valid.

but recently I’ve been making more and more suicide jokes about myself? And my friends who have gone through suicide attempts/self-harm have noticed, and asked me about them and told me that it’s a problem. I told one friend, “it’s just joking, I’m too stubborn to kill myself.” I was met with “I said the exact same thing before I threw myself out a second story window.” its getting to the point where a few nights ago I got home from work and as soon as I got to my room I kept thinking about c*tting my arms or my legs or neck and just falling asleep while I bled out… I understand this is very dark but hey… it’s tumblr. I figured this would be one of the only places I could tlak about this without worrying about getting banned or something. I just don’t understand where this pain came from. I sometimes wonder if God looks at me and is sorry that he made me. I feel so empty and blank all the time but have just the most angry and dark thoughts. I cry like once a year. I’m just going to ignore it. All the pain. Until it goes back to normal, and I can feel even more nothing, and maybe by the time it bursts out again I can afford therapy. But like, I don’t want an insidious therapist to feed into my pains and delusions. I want a solution. I’m so confused about all of this. on a funnier and less sad note, it’s fun to make jokes about. like I wake up, the sun is shining, terrible terrors are singing from the rooftops. I saunter down to breakfast thinking all is right with the world and I get—

my inverted seasonal depression: son. we need to talk.

I don’t really know or care if anyone else cares right now but, like, a comment or something would be nice. I don’t care about the obvious “go off yourself” messages I’m going to get from the bots but it would be nice to hear that a real person from some other country would notice if I stopped posting and care if I wasn’t a part of the world anymore. I doubt that would happen. But it would be nice to hear.