hell @hellva - Tumblr Blog

Baby Horse Shoe

when i was post op after top surgery i had a good friend there with me to help recover. but the nurse didnt get the memo and when i woke up she was like “ok i’m gonna go get your girlfriend and bring her in to see you!” and i remember being so zonked on anesthesia and so disoriented i just laid there thinking wow…… all that an they’re bringing me a girlfriend too this place is amazing

ratbastarddotfuck

Animals is made of shapes. Reblog. You agree.

sisterofiris

Hey students, here’s a pro tip: do not write an email to your prof while you’re seriously sick.

Signed, a person who somehow came up with “dear hello, I am sick and not sure if I’ll be alive to come tomorrow and I’m sorry, best slutantions, [name]”.

yay855

I mean, if someone wrote that to me, I’d probably believe they were sick.

rox-and-prose

“Slutantions” has me crying laughing

watermite

i once emailed my professor with a migraine. a mistake.

“I amsick will not to choir because i have a heache. i Hope its very and i am so sorry

love,

blue”

the subject line was “OW”

xakumi

THE SUBJECT LINE IS THE BEST PART JSJFJSJDJS JUST IMAGINE GETTING AN EMAIL WITH NO CONTEXT OTHER THAN “OW”

themodernsouthernpolytheist

As someone who has taught college, please send those emails because 1) We WILL believe that; no one would write that on purpose and 2) we need a laugh sometimes.

asortoflight

On the other side of this, once after getting taken to the ER by ambulance, I got an email from the professor whose class I’d passed out in, and the message had no text, just the subject line “you good?”

whisky-gerblin

Reblogging for the last addition

badgraph1csghost

Claritin makes me weird, but I have allergies so there’s about a month and a half block of time where I’m taking Claritin and am just weird most of the time.

Anyway, my last year of college, I got the flu or something in late March and was also taking Mucinex. I told my professor I couldn’t come to class one day by email except I couldnt think of what to say, so my medicated ass decided to make a Fry meme. I think it said something like “Not sure if I can go to class with a head the size of Texas, bottom text.” I didn’t think until the next day that it probably wasn’t socially-acceptable to tell your philosophy professor you weren’t coming to class via Tumblr style memes. When i got back to class, i found that she’d printed it out and taped it to the classroom bulletin board.

badgraph1csghost

Oh shit you guys i turned on my WinXP laptop that I used to use back then.

IT WAS ON THE DESKTOP. THIS IS WHAT I SENT.

It’s even worse than i remember it

omnicat

I laugh myself hoarse every time this post comes around, so here it is again.

bucketbunny

Once emailed a professor from my hospital bed high on painkillers after a really bad car crash which my heart actually stopped the email “Dead cant class sory”

m1ssal0t

My sick email can’t compete with any of these, but here it is in its entirety. I think I had COVID at the time, so the brain was ultra foggy. I reread this thing like 8 or 9 times and couldn’t find anything wrong with it. If you’re wondering why I keep asking for the zoom link it’s because my college cracked down on profs letting people use the link if they didn’t have a doctor’s note, and these classes all had mandatory attendance.

Good evening,

I am currently sick. I hope that I won’t be tomorrow, but I’ll try to not be. I can be in class tomorrow online probably if the zoom meeting can be given to me. I have no fever right now so I will have no doctor’s note by tomorrow probably, bu t I can go try and get one. I’m not all that sick, so I can come in in person if you want me to tomorrow, but I will try to not be tomorrow in sick morning.

I’ll let you know in the morning how I fell. I will be in the zoom if I have the zoom. I’ll probably feel better tomorrow.

Sorry if I missed any typos, I did my best.

harmofud

PS. Sorry if I typed wrong and and not good sentence structure, I promise I’m a better writer than I am.

sempiternal-poet

“I held her close against me, tight, afraid that I’d wake up soon and she’d only be dream. But as I breathed in the smell of her skin, as I ran my fingertips down her back, drowning in the silk of her, I know I’m fully awake. Time stood still for a brief moment, and all that remained was her, all that remained was us, and nothing else mattered in the entire world.

When I stared deeply into her brown eyes, a warmth settled in the middle of my chest, a warmth that has never been there before. I know what it is, and I could have easily spoken those three words into the quiet air, but it’s not time yet. As I stared at her, I knew I’d do anything to protect her, to make her the happiest girl in the world, to catch her when she falls. I want nothing, only her.

It was impossible not to fall for her when she gave me every reason to fall. I knew she’d catch me, I knew she’d protect me, and she has my heart and she doesn’t even know it yet. Every single part of me belongs to her. She’s the sun in the middle of my universe, the stars on the darkest of nights, the push and pull of my vast oceans, and I love her. I’m so deeply in love with her.”

—S.V // she’s the sun in the middle of my universe // @ sempiternal.poet on Instagram

iapislazuli

idk what traumatized or mentally ill person needs to hear this but dreams (especially the really disturbing ones you dont want to talk about to anybody) arent some deep peek into your psyche or a sign of your True Desires or whatever theyre quite literally your brain making fruit salad with whatever it can find on the shelf. just putting all that shit in a blender and hitting obliterate. its fine, youre fine, youre not a weirdo for it

iapislazuli