The Moon Rises

Well. I ship almost everything religiously. http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/5798060-kelly

[clownsaliens]

[fictionismyfreakinglife]

Stephanie Meyer: Rosalie Hale killed her rapists one by one. Including her fiancée

Me now and at 13:

[bob-belcher]

[tempestpaige]

when clothing websites keep emailing me about their “new hot summer fashions”

[clickholeofficial]

[valtsv]

me: okay, before we go through with this, i just have one question. is the aversion to garlic like, a lactose intolerance thing where you can consume it but you’ll regret it later, or is it more of a severe, potentially lethal allergic reaction kinda sitch?

vampire: *pausing mid-bite* why… does it matter?

me: i’m just not sure if this immortality deal is really worth it if i can never eat garlic again

[valtsv]

no but seriously. how much garlic does it take to actually repel a vampire? there are no specific measurements as far as i’m aware, which on the one hand suggests that it’s just any amount at all, but on the other hand it makes vampires look kind of weak and shitty if they can be successfully warded off by a speck of garlic powder in my blood

[valtsv]

vampire: now, i know you’re new to this whole vampirism thing, but using that much garlic in your cooking surely can’t agree with you-

me: buddy, i was lactose intolerant before i turned. i’ve suffered worse for less.

[valtsv]

angel: aren’t you supposed to be repelled by salt? that must be so painful

demon: i’m already damned to eternal torment in hell, do you really think i’m going to torture myself with bland, unseasoned food as well? no thank you *pops another salt and vinegar chip in their mouth and winces*

[valtsv]

faerie: you are aware that iron dampens our magic, right?

other faerie: i will die before i stop eating chocolate and that is a threat

[silver-tongues-blog]

millennial supernatural entities are unstoppable

[ahotknife]

those westerns finally make sense now. it’s like honey i’m going into town. i’ll pick up sugar, flour, beans, salt pork, bullets, and kerosene. do you want a bolt of calico? some maple syrup? i’m taking the wagon i’ll be back in three days

[starknesskenobi]

When your the lead heroine in a classic literature novel and someone proposes to you:

[enzerusworld]

[gucciballs-deactivated20200720]

[princessofpop-deactivated202008]

[cantfightfatetoo]

I'm a simple girl, is it too much to ask for a broody handsome suitor to stroll across a field, in the morning fog at dawn, to tell me that I've bewitched them body and soul, and that they love me and never wish to be parted from me from that day on.

[plasmalogical]

dr thot

[hotvampireadjacent]

paging dr thot

[audible-smiles]

[manicpixiedreamweeb]

The discovery that men don’t find Margot Robbie attractive in Birds of Prey really just drives home the fact that I have no idea what straight men find attractive, and neither do I care

[heavensickness]

Do you ever wanna bond with someone so bad you’re like “damn i wish we were knights on a dangerous quest”

[callginalinetti]

[smadsel]

me, after making any trivial mistake