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“it sucks when you realize you rejected other people for that one person who wasted your time”

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“You choose those who you know cannot give themselves, because that gives you the courage to let go. You know they will let you down and that you will inevitably suffer from being thwarted. But you prefer this pain to the other, the pain of giving and being betrayed, as you were as a child. You choose unconsciously those who will not assert themselves or claim you. Or if you find one who does assert himself, does claim all of you (…), then you do not love them, you reject them.”

— Anais Nin, Mirages: The Unexpurgated Diary of Anais Nin, 1939-1947

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“Lonely people tend to be lonely because they decline to bear the psychic costs of being around other humans. They are allergic to people. People affect them too strongly.”

— David Foster Wallace, A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again

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“We have grown, I know, in the same dark gardens.”

— Yves Bonnefoy, tr. by Anthony Rudolf, from Selected Poems; “O You,”

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“Something will grow from what you are going through. And it will be you.”

— Unknown

extramadness

It starts as a haze. You’re standing in a crowded room of smoke and no one in clear, but he is. So you go to him because he’ll be there and he isn’t going to leave. It turns into a black out. Late nights, stumbling home in his arms. All your friends are telling you he’s bad for you. They see the tears and the pain but they know it will be impossible to tear you away. You love the chaos. You love the fights. You love the fucking. You love the conversations. You love the screaming and the whispering. You think you love him. But you don’t. You will think it will end when the chaos is too much. When you’re sitting on your bed screaming, your head telling you to let him leave, but your heart making your lips beg for him to stay. He leaves. He comes back. You finally end in peace. And maybe when you see him across the room you’ll stick up middle fingers at each other. You’ll push each other away as if you’re still angry, but it’s gentle because you both know away from the crowd you ended gently and he held you and kissed your forehead when you stumbled in drunk crying after you failed once again. And you both know its not right but that’s okay because it didn’t have to be right. It was there and now it’s not and that’s okay.

#poem #poetry #late night #sad quotes #quotes #teen quotes

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“Curiously, she didn’t remember when she became exhausted. She didn’t remember when exhausted was no longer exhausted, it just was. The tiredness was in her bones and she accepted this state of being with apathy.”

— tara love / it felt like she had been burdened for a century, but it was a year