puns and obsessive phases

a jumbled mess of content awaits

[sunsetsatellite]

okay but real talk you were either hey soul sister or hey there delilah there was no in between

[nessa007]

The fact that Andre Braugher has still not won an Emmy and hasn’t even been nominated in recent years for his portrayal of Captain Raymond Holt is an absolute travesty.

[patricide1885]

Why are bugs so obsessed with looking like plants be yourself

[deathwarlock]

A bird wrote this

[avoidingapples]

14th century doctors be like “i don’t know what’s wrong with you but you’re a woman so i diagnose you with witchcraft”

[avoidingapples]

19th century doctors be like “i don’t know what’s wrong with you but you’re a woman so i diagnose you with hysteria”

[avoidingapples]

21st century doctors be like “i don’t know what’s wrong with you but you’re a woman so i don’t believe anything is wrong with you and won’t diagnose you”

[tempest-caller]

That’s not entirely fair. Sometimes they also diagnose you as “fat.”

[mothdogsgifs]

-  I’m old enough to know that a longer life isn’t always a better one. In the end, you just get tired. Tired of the struggle, tired of losing everyone that matters to you, tired of watching everything turn to d u s t …

[glumshoe]

I’m reading about ballistic knives and they are just so fucking funny. It’s like they were designed by fourth graders trying to one-up each other in a playground game. Can’t decide between a gun and a knife? How about the worst of both worlds? Fuck you.

[thesealfriend]

What the fuck these actually exist

I thought they were made up for... Idk internet shenanigans

Today I Learned

[glumshoe]

it’s like I always say... don’t bring a knife to a spring-loaded knifegun fight

[prokopetz]

Today’s aesthetic: keeping the same tab open in your browser for three solid weeks because you’re definitely going to get around to reading and/or acting on whatever’s in it any minute now.

[hereafteryyh]

This is a personal attack.

[marauders4evr]

I’m...I’m sorry, I just this minute realized that there are people out there who have no idea that Heinz Doofenshmirtz is the best fictional father out there. You guys don’t mind if I bombard your entire dashboard with proof right? Excellent.

BONUS: Doofenshmirtz around children he literally just met who wrecked his ‘inator’.

Literally I could go on and on with examples but my computer’s starting to crash from the amount of images.

The point is that Heinz Doofenshmirtz is the greatest fictional father out there and anyone who says otherwise was hit by a Lie-inator.

[324432463552434565435241354-dea]

time: next year is 2020

me: yeah

time: this means that 2010 would have been 10 years ago

me: no

[gumbubbles-blog]

im what the kids call

attention seeking

[anxietyproblem]

[theartistwonders-deactivated202]

thank you carl!

[thebiggestnerdoutthere]

Thank you, Carl!

[juliamichelleleanor-deactivated]

Thank you Carl ! 💖

[hongcha8129]

[yetanothercriminalmindsfanatic]

#what the fuck kind of magical girl anime pose is THIS  (via robertfrownyjr)

[ruskabelle-rabbit]

misswendybird

[shining-magically]

every sailor needs a captain

[sweaterweatherevans-deactivated]

This is my favorite post on this site. I want a print of this to hang on my office wall.

[valtsv]

does anyone else remember playing that swordfighting game on wii sports resort where you just swung your controller around like a madman wasting the shit out of everyone else in the game until you won

[valtsv]

unrestrained summer fun

[shounenchild]

The Duality of

[regging]

“coming of age” books and movies are so stupid like being a teenager isn’t about having sex and going to parties it’s about staring out your car window after hanging out with your old best friends who you haven’t seen in months and realizing that you aren’t actually friends anymore and that your childhood has been well and truly dead since you were thirteen

[samgiddings]

OK new game. Use this website to see how common your first name is, and then put that number in the tags. 

[deejay]

[dankmemeuniversity]