Funhouse

[guitarbeard]

Witch who's trying to cut me off on the I-290: *rolls down window and casts a curse*

Me (ate vitamin gummies this morning): lmao nice try Baba Yaga

[just-another-borg-philosopher]

Janeway: it’s not that hard. Either drink coffee the right way or don’t drink it at all (slams a mouthful of nearly boiling black coffee like it’s a shot of tequila)

Chakotay: ...doesn’t that hurt?

Janeway: yes. That’s the point. The weak don’t deserve coffee.

[stargatelov3r]

Teal’c: b*tch please

[the-goofball]

[proudpoe]

Howl?? From Howl’s Moving Castle??

[emomemolemoemo]

[kickassmemes1]

[crowisgone-deactivated20230422]

We’ve found it Snail Church

[ravibun]

snurch

[yourscientistfriend]

Take me to snurch

[podcastwizard]

hearing the john mulaney “do my friends hate me or do i just need to go to sleep” bit is the best thing to have happened for my mental health because every time i’m afraid my friends hate me it’s around the time i should be going the fuck to sleep

[bladesandstars]

I read somewhere “if you feel like everyone hates you you need to sleep and if you feel like you hate everyone else you need to eat” and it was honestly world-shattering and I wish I’d heard it years ago!

[doubleca5t]

This also goes for saying “I want to die”. You can usually replace that with “I want a nap”.

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I saw the future. There were so few bees left that they cross-bred beekeepers with them so they could better connect with them.

I was taking a test to identify plants (I won because some dude thought pineapples were berries) and after that I met a beekeeper who worked inside of a giant glass beehive and had little antennas and a dope ass beard.

[one-time-i-dreamt]

Everyone was commenting on this post, saying that pineapples ARE berries, and even I was like, huh, that’s not right, so I looked it up, and

[jollygreengiantdick]

[luischocolatier]

Bananas, tomatoes, watermelons, coffee, cocoa, pomegranates and pumpkins are also berries.

[one-time-i-dreamt]

W-what????????’

[captainlordauditor]

WHAT DO YOU MEAN POMEGRANATES ARE BERRIES????

[anotherhawk]

You know what isn’t a berry? Strawberries. Fuck fruit scientists.

[jame7t]

hey is everyone ignoring the part of the dream where bees and beekeepers fucked

[time-lady13]

[juliastiles]

[guitarbeard]

Witch who's trying to cut me off on the I-290: *rolls down window and casts a curse*

Me (ate vitamin gummies this morning): lmao nice try Baba Yaga

[jenniferhills]

Jenna + Julien in 2019 (part 1)

[silvasaliva]

having cash is like having secret money. like whos gonna find out i’m buying tacos with this crisp $20 bill??? not my bank account, that’s for sure

[thenatsdorf]

Adopted after nearly 500 days at the shelter. [source]

[catchymemes]

Credit: https://imgur.com/gallery/4LXnrWO

Original comic: https://www.buttersafe.com/2019/03/21/the-water-cycle/

[rook-the-catechumen]

This is what stepping on a landmine feels like

[chickpeamcb]

hand lettering assignment of @/abracadabriest’s iconic post

[justduckit]

When you realize it’s fucking cold out ~~~~

[soberscientistlife]

Oh fuck 🤣🤣🤣

[mizzzelizabeth-deactivated20191]

🤣🤣🤣

[platypusinplaid]

this is THE funniest punchline I’ve ever seen

[stjeffofthenorth-deactivated202]

Berliners are sending a piece of the Berlin Wall to Trump, with the message: “We would like to give you one of the last pieces of the failed Berlin Wall to commemorate the United States’ dedication to building a world without walls”

[lphis]

PIECE OF THE BERLIN WALL WITH MESSAGE FOR TRUMP GOES ON U.S.-MEXICO BORDER TOUR AFTER WHITE HOUSE REJECTS ‘GIFT’ 11/18/19

Dear President Trump,

This is an original piece of the Berlin Wall. For 28 years, it separated east and west, families, and friends.

It divided not only Berlin and Germany, but the whole world. Too many people died trying to cross it—their only crime being their desire to be free. Today the world celebrates the 30th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall. Germany is united again, and only a few scattered pieces remind us that no wall lasts forever.

For decades, the United States played a major role in bringing this wall down. From John F. Kennedy to Ronald Reagan, the Presidents of the USA fought against it.

We would like to give you one of the last pieces of the failed Berlin Wall to commemorate the United States’ dedication to building a world without walls.

Citizens of Berlin

https://thewallagainstwalls.com/

[feralperson]

I fucking love this

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

“Perhaps most of all, though, you deserve to be okay. You deserve to know that a day in which you can just barely get out of bed because you are sad, or sick, or simply not ready to see the outside is not the end of the world. You deserve to know that moments of weakness do not make you fundamentally weak, only fundamentally human, and that sometimes we’re not going to be effusively happy, and that is okay.”

— Chelsea Fagan