REQUESTS: OPEN. Rules in the pinned post or in the rules tag. I write: My Hero Academia and Jujutsu Kaisen and occasionally some other stuff.
Header from soulfullofstarx, icon from sugarkittycat04
This is a pinned post, so scroll down to find new/other posts.
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Masterlist for MHA is here and Jujutsu Kaisen is here, on google drive, so it’s a google docs document.
My Transformers Prime blog @bots-and-cons
Wattpad is Sixyno I only post scenarios there for select characters from MHA, but all my JJK scenarios can be found there.
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Rules:
Stuff I would like you mention in your request: The gender of reader/s/o (I usually try to write gender neutral, but if it matters, mention it). If you want HCs or a scenario, and if you want multiple characters do you want them as poly or separate. Character limit per request is two (2) characters. Also if you want them as students or as adults is also helpful to me, because nowadays I tend to write them as adults a lot, since I’m in my early twenties myself. I will gladly write more parts to already existing stuff I’ve written, so you an ask for that too, just make sure I know what post you’re referring to.
Rape or abuse of any kind done by the character (comfort with character is okay though)
I will not do dying from childbirth or young kids dying for any reason (like under 13 years old)
I don’t do NSFW unless I’m really in the mood, so you can ask for some mild stuff as a plus in your request, but I probably won’t include it
I’d prefer not to write for Mineta but you can always ask and try if I like your idea anyway
Cheating stuff or yandere are also something I do not like
No eating disorder related stuff, it’s just hard for me to deal with because of my own issues
No Harry Potter related stuff, because JKR is an asshole
Stuff I will write:
All kinds of angst pretty much, (suicide, self harm, abuse, dealing with trauma, flashbacks, bad anxiety or panic attacks, etc, etc)
LGBTQ+ is all okay and if you want the reader to be for example asexual, remember to mention that in your ask
People from different religions and backgrounds
All characters are allowed, (heroes, villains, teachers, students, etc.)
I also do AUs, like soulmate AU, villain AU, quirkless AU, and so on
Even though I don’t write full NSFW, suggestive stuff is okay
Obviously, pretty much everything that doesn’t fall into the “stuff I will not write” category is allowed
Some tag instructions: All the bold words in this section are tags in my blog you can check out. All the mha art I reblog is under reblog and JJK art is under jjk reblog. All the HCs are under mha headcanons, or jjk headcanons all the scenarios are under mha scenarios or jjk scenarios. Angst is under mha angst or jjk angst and fluff is under mha fluff or jjk fluff, there is also the comfort and jjk comfort tag. There are also trigger warning tags like selfharm tw, abuse tw, suicidal tw and suicide tw, so if you don’t want to see those kind of posts, blacklist those tags. All the characters are under their own names and pro-heroes are under they hero names too, at least usually. There are a few AUs that you can also find, like domestic au, villain au, high school au or soulmate au. For JJK there is currently only the good geto au and the non curse au. There are also the mha x reader and bnha x reader tags, but I only started using those recently so not all the x reader stuff is under there. For JJK there is also the jjk x reader tag, plus an x reader tag for each chracter, for example gojo x reader. All the tags with mha in them, the mha can be changed to bnha and you’ll still get the same posts. There is also some nsfw and nsfw-ish stuff and I recently added the smut and smut-ish tags, the -ish tags are for mild stuff that doesn’t really warrant a full smut tag and there is also the suggestive tag which is pretty new.
A/N: Well I had another obsession episode thing and started this while in. I wanted to finish it even though the obsession has mostly passed and this time the victim is Laxus from Fairy Tail. I require comfort so here I go again. Probably majorly OOC, but Idc
WARNINGS: Selfharm by cutting, blood, alcohol
Word count: 1.9k-ish
Laxus had been on a job for over a month. You knew when he left that it might take weeks, but you were really struggling. It's not like you weren't used to being alone, before you joined Fairy Tail a couple years back, you had no one.
You thought you were doing better, but somehow all that darkness you'd been trying to keep at bay, seemed to be seeping back into your life through the little cracks that had been forming. It wasn't just the past month, it had started long before that. It wasn't like a giant wave this time, you weren't drowning straight away. It was like little drops of something black and tar like were slowly filling the hole you were in, and you were having a hard time keeping your head above the surface. It was like if you didn't constantly keep it at bay, it would swallow you whole. It took all your energy just to get through the day. You hadn't gone on any jobs for a few weeks and didn't plan on it either. You were too focused on surviving. You managed to do a couple of jobs after Laxus left, but the last couple of weeks you had barely left the house.
Laxus couldn't help but wonder how you were doing. He'd noticed something was off about you even before he left, but since the person who had made the job request had asked for him specifically, so he couldn't really refuse. He was worried about you, he couldn't help it. There was this pit in his stomach like something bad was going to happen and he didn't like it one bit.
When Laxus returned to Magnolia a few days later, he headed straight home. He figured he could stop by the guild a bit later. You would probably still be at home, since it wasn't quite noon yet. When he opened the front door, he could immediately tell something wasn't right. The unmistakable scent of blood lingered in the air.
"(Name)?!" he shouted into the house.
There was no answer, so he hurried in and followed the scent of blood into the bedroom. You were just laying there, half covered by a blood stained blanket. For a second, his heart sank. He thought the worst had happened, but then you groaned and rolled over on the bed so you were facing him. You looked pale and clammy, but you were clearly still alive.
"By god…" he muttered, shaking his head, before kneeling next to the bed.
"(Name)" he said softly as he shook you a little bit.
"Mmhhmmm" you groaned and tried to turn away.
"I need you to wake up darlin. Open your eyes for me, okay?" Laxus coaxed.
"Laxus?" you muttered as your eyes fluttered open.
"It's me, you're in bad shape darlin" Laxus sighed as he examined you with his eyes.
You reeked of alcohol, which was probably part of why you'd ended up hurting yourself. Your left wrist had quite the gash on it and you'd clearly passed out with it still bleeding, because the bed and the blanket were pretty stained. He'd been a bit reluctant to take the job in the first place. After it had dragged on for a couple of extra weeks, he was afraid something might happen, but he wasn't expecting this. You had seemed off before he even left, and when he had offered for you to come with him, you'd told him you would be fine and that you didn't want to get in the way. He should have just taken you with him, then this wouldn't have happened.
Now that you were a bit more awake, you felt so ashamed. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Things had just gotten so out of control the night before. You weren't supposed to drink so much, but you didn't know how to stop once you started, or maybe you didn't want to, you weren't sure. Now you just had a massive headache and you felt like you might throw up. You slowly sat up on the edge of the bed. You had to support yourself with your left arm and the movement made you wince in pain. Why were you like this? He wasn't supposed to see you like this.
"I'm sorry I'm such a mess" you whispered, looking down in shame.
"You're not a mess darlin, you're sick and I shouldn't have left you alone" Laxus shook his head, you could hear the pain in his voice. His arms were on both sides of you on the bed as he still knelt on the floor.
"It's not your fault. I did this to myself…" you sniffled.
"Maybe so, but I knew you weren't doing well, and I left you alone for over a month anyway…" he gritted his teeth as he looked down, hitting the edge of the bed next to you out of frustration.
You reached for him, placing your hand on his cheek and making him look up at you. It wasn't his fault, you needed him to know that. Yes, being alone had made things more difficult, but it was mostly your own doing. You had isolated yourself as things got worse, which made things go south even faster. You didn't blame him, not one bit.
"It's not your fault" you said slowly and sternly.
Laxus didn't agree with you, but he also knew arguing with you wouldn't do any good. His first priority was making sure you would be okay. He grabbed your hand that was on his cheek and kissed your palm.
"Whatever you say darlin" he sighed. "But I really think you should get that looked at" he motioned towards your wrist. "Or let Wendy heal it"
"I don't need to, it's gonna be fine" you said timidly as you pulled your hand back.
Laxus grabbed your hand, gently but firmly and gave you a serious look.
"You're getting looked at by the doc in town, I don't care if I have to carry you there"
"I'm gonna be fine, besides a doctor can't do anything about it anymore, too much time has passed" you tried to make excuses.
You didn't want to see a doctor and you most definitely didn't want Wendy and the others to know about what had happened. He just wanted what was best for you, you knew that, but he could be a bit overbearing when he was worried. You weren't going anywhere, you could just patch up your arm by yourself and be done with it.
"You're not gonna agree with me no matter what I say, are you?" Laxus sighed in defeat.
"Nope, I can take care of it myself" you announced.
"I'll do it, and I'm not taking no for an answer" he scowled.
"Fine" you sighed.
You stood up, and could immediately feel yourself getting lightheaded. You staggered a bit, but Laxus was right by your side, so you could lean on him. He wouldn't let you fall. He helped you to the bathroom and started cleaning your wrist and arm gently.
"Take your shirt off" Laxus commanded.
You looked down and realized your shirt was covered in blood stains, so were your pajama shorts. You didn't say anything, you just did as he told you to. You also slipped out of your shorts so you were only in your underwear. There wasn't really much blood anywhere on your skin other than your left arm and cheek.
"Laxus?" you asked, as you watched him clean your arm with a damp cloth.
"Yeah?"
"Why do you put up with all my crap? You could be with someone like Mira or Freed or-"
"Because I don't want anyone else, I want you" he cut you off, still focusing on cleaning your arm
"I don't want to be a burden to you. I don't want you to miss out on things because of me" you looked down, trying to hold back the tears.
"Do you really think I'm so weak that loving you and dealing with all that comes with it would be a burden to me?" he asked, with a serious look in his eyes.
"Well no, but-"
"Yeah, so zip it and let me take care of you" he glared at you.
You just nodded slowly, not knowing what to say. He was a stubborn man, and an honest one too, you knew that better than most. He wasn't usually very forthcoming with his feelings, but he knew just what to say when it mattered the most.
Laxus felt so guilty about how things had turned out. He should have just dragged you with him on the job, he would have been able to keep you safe there. You wouldn't have been alone, you wouldn't have done this. What kind of demons must you be fighting to think something like this would help? He didn't think you were weak, he'd never thought that, not once. It was quite the opposite. When you did something like this to yourself, he felt so powerless it made him angry. Seeing you like this, it broke his heart.
When Laxus had finished cleaning your arm, he grabbed a roll of bandage and a wound patch from the cabinet and started wrapping your wrist. You were still quiet, you didn't know what to say to him. You didn't have any excuses and you didn't know how to explain why you'd done this. It always felt like a good idea in the moment. It grounded you in a way nothing else could, but that never lasted for more than a couple of seconds. So you did it again, and again, and again. Until your wrist was a bloody mess. The alcohol impeding your fine motor functions coupled with your already unsteady hand, had caused you to carve quite the gash across your wrist. As Laxus finished wrapping the bandage and tied it off, he accidentally pressed on the wound, making you wince.
"Sorry, did I hurt you?" he asked.
"Don't worry about it, I deserve it for doing something so stupid" you joked.
"Don't say that" Laxus said quietly. "You don't deserve pain, of any kind, ever" he suddenly wrapped his arms around you and pulled you to his chest.
"I'm sorry" you sniffled, grasping at his shirt.
"You don't need to apologize to me, just promise that you'll talk to me the next time you feel like something like this might happen. Please?" he almost pleaded.
"I-I promise" you managed to say before you just started sobbing into his shirt.
"It's okay, I'll hold you as long as you need me to" Laxus promised.
Things would still be difficult, but you promised yourself you would try to ask for help. As you clung to Laxus like your life depended on it, you felt something in your heart move, something that had been frozen for so long. Maybe a little bit of light was getting in through the cracks too, maybe one day, your life would be more than just surviving. Maybe with him, you could find hope again.
A/N: Well, I started writing this the day after I posted the last part, but we'll see if I'll actually get it posted any time soon lol. There was about a half a year between the last two parts… Also decided to do the taglist again. Checked all the previous parts and grabbed everyone from those
Part 1/part 2/part 3/part 4/part 5/part 6
Word count: 1.9k
When someone banged on your door a few hours after you'd gotten home, you almost choked on the water you were drinking.
"What the hell?" you muttered, and went to the door.
"(Name)! I know you're there! Please… open the door" a familiar voice begged from outside.
You opened the door and crossed your arms, as Gojo swayed in front of you, a bottle of some kind of liquor in his hand. He was clearly drunk, which was quite a feat for him considering his RCT. He must have emptied quite a few bottles already.
"What happened?" you asked patiently.
"You know what happened… you said no… and I have no reason to stay sober anymore, since Ava is gone too" he slurred, taking another swig. "It was all a lie" he muttered.
"Did you honestly think I would just leave Kento because you asked me to? I know we loved each other, but that was in the past" you sighed, reaching for the bottle in his hand, intending to take it away from him.
Nanami had also heard the banging at the front door, but you'd gotten to it first and as soon as he noticed who was at the door, he took a step back so he was behind a corner. He could intervene if needed, but he was also curious about how the situation would play out.
"Do you even care about me? Did you ever care?" Gojo pleaded, holding the bottle out of your reach.
He knew it was a stupid question. He knew it would hurt you if he said it, but he asked anyway. Of course you cared about him, that's just who you were, even now. Even after all the shit you'd undoubtedly gone through, you still looked at him so softly, but there was also something else in your eyes. Pity maybe? He really was pathetic.
"I'm sorry, but I can't give you what you want. I can be your friend, but I will never be yours again" you shook your head.
"I don't want to be your fucking friend (Name)!" he raised his voice. "If I can't have you, then I would rather just never see you again. It hurts too bad…"
"I think you should leave" Nanami said as he appeared from behind the corner.
"You can't tell me what to do!" Gojo said childishly crossing his arms over his chest, trying to look defiant.
Gojo didn't want to look at him, this man that had stolen you from him. Why did you even want to be with him? What was so much better about Nanami as opposed to him?
"Gojo, go home" you sighed.
"No!" he exclaimed. "I'm not going anywhere until you tell me why you hate me!"
You didn't really understand why he was asking you this. Did he really think you hated him? Just because you wouldn't be with him anymore? You might have been angry at him every now and then, but you could never hate him.
"Satoru" you said softly, putting your hand on his arm. "I don't hate you. I'm never going to hate you, but I won't love you again either. You have to get over that…"
God, why did you have to say his name like that? So softly, so gently…
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry I gave up on you and you had to go through that nightmare alone. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you came back. I'm just… I'm so sorry" Gojo said with such pain in his voice that it broke your heart.
After that, he was gone. He had just disappeared right in front of your eyes, and you weren't sure if you were ever going to see him again.
Days passed, then a week, then another, and no one had heard from Gojo. It was like he had disappeared off the face of the earth. You couldn't help but worry. You knew he could be reckless and a major self centered idiot sometimes, but disappearing like this was new. You just hoped he wasn't going down another self destructive spiral, like he had after your presumed death.
You felt responsible for him. After the third week came and went, you decided to look for him. You understood him wanting to avoid you, but he couldn't just avoid all his responsibilities too. The final nail in the coffin for your decision was when Nanami came home injured. It wasn't really anything serious, and Shoko had already patched him up, but you were still so angry.
"I'm going to find him and smack some sense into him" you fumed.
"Darling, it's really nothing serious, this would have been my job even if he was here" Nanami tried to reason with you.
"I know, but he still needs to come back… and I feel like it's my fault he's disappeared in the first place" you sighed.
"You're not responsible for him"
"I just don't want him to do anything stupid…" you muttered as you pulled your coat on.
Nanami knew you didn't have feelings for Gojo anymore, and he wasn't the jealous type. You'd always been like this, worrying about everyone else more than about yourself. He couldn't stop you if he tried, he was well aware of that, so he just sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"Fine, just keep your phone on you, and call me if anything happens"
"I will, thank you Kento" you said and gave him a quick peck on the cheek, before you were out the door.
It was snowing outside, so you had thrown on your coat, a beanie and your winter shoes. It was already below freezing, and in the back of your mind you had an image of Gojo lying in some ditch, dying of hypothermia. You weren't even sure if that was possible for him, but the image was still unnerving.
You had a couple of places you wanted to check. You weren't even sure if he still visited them, but it wouldn't hurt. His favorite bar and restaurant were a bust, and so was the sweets shop he liked to visit. You asked, but they hadn't seen anyone matching his description for weeks. You were starting to get really worried. When the two of you had been together Gojo had visited that sweets shop at least twice a week.
"What the hell is he thinking" you muttered as you walked along the river bank.
You picked up a small rock, and threw it as far as you could into the river. You picked up another rock and did the same. You kept hurling small rocks into the rive, getting more and more angry with each throw. You knew he was upset, and it was probably because of you, but he couldn't act like this. He couldn't just abandon his duties and disappear.
"Aaargh! Why is he like this?!" you shouted into the sky.
You heard footsteps behind you and felt a familiar cursed energy. You were kind of afraid that if you looked at him, you would actually smack him.
"I really hope you're talking about Nanami" a familiar voice finally said.
"You wish" you sighed, keeping your eyes on the sky.
Gojo walked closer and stood next to you, also looking into the sky.
"I'm sorry" he sighed after standing there for a while.
"What exactly are you apologizing for?" you asked, shifting your eyes so you could see him in your peripheral.
"Everything I guess…"
The two of you just kept looking into the sky, watching as the snowflakes floated down slowly. Gojo stuck out his tongue and caught a snowflake on it.
"What are you? Five?" you chuckled, finally turning to look at him.
"Kinda wish I was, wouldn't have to deal with any of this" he said.
"I know the feeling" you smiled sadly.
"None if this is your fault ya know? It's hers… and mine" Gojo shook his head.
Gojo didn't even want to say her name, it would just leave a bad taste in his mouth. He didn't want to think about her either, but he couldn't help it. He knew the relationship had just been some elaborate piece of theater, but he couldn't help but wonder if there was any truth to any of it. In some twisted way she had loved him, or maybe obsession would have been a better word.
"I don't blame you for it Gojo… not really. There's no way you could have known what had really happened to me" you sighed turning your gaze back to the sky. "When we went on that one mission back in Jujutsu High and I got hurt badly, I remember thinking that I hoped you'd find happiness some day if I died… and I do still wish happiness for you"
"I think I've had more happiness than I deserve already. I don't ever want to go through what I went through when you disappeared, and this whole ordeal with Ava isn't really something I'm eager to repeat either…" Gojo gritted his teeth.
You exhaled deeply, before stepping in front of him. He looked down at you with a surprised expression and you flicked his forehead. He let you do it, but he was still very over dramatic about it. Somewhere in the back of your mind you made note of the fact that his infinity didn't even get in the way.
"Ow!" he exclaimed and rubbed his forehead.
"You do realize that even for someone like you, both of those situations were very much outliers, right?"
"I guess but-" he protested, but you cut him off.
"You deserve someone who will make you happy, someone who you can share your life with, and you'll find someone some day"
"But it's not going to be you…" Gojo said quietly.
"No, it's not…" you affirmed.
"Your happiness was my happiness (Name)… I think it still might be… so if you're truly happy with Nanami, I can live with that" he smiled, tears glistening in the corners of his eyes.
"You have no idea how much that means to me" you smiled, with tears of your own.
Gojo pulled you into a hug and even though you were surprised, you returned his embrace. It felt like a weight had been lifted off your chest. It would probably take time, but he would move forward.
"One last time" Gojo whispered in your ear.
"Mmhhmm" you sniffled.
When you let go of each other, Gojo's heart still felt heavy. He knew he needed to let you go, but it would still take a while to get used to the idea. He still wasn't sure if he would be able to bear being just your friend, but it was a start.
"You should probably go tell the higher ups you're back. They're probably gonna tear you a new one though" you said as you started walking away. "I'm gonna head home"
"Who cares, those old bastards don't really have any say in what I do anyway" he smirked, following after you.
After him following you for a moment, you turned back with your hands crossed over your chest.
"Why are you following me?" you asked with a raised brow.
"It's getting kinda late and I'm not about to let you walk back alone" Gojo explained. "It's something friends do, right?"
You rolled your eyes, but couldn't help but smile: "Fine, let's go"
A/N: Fuck meeee, I need some comfort stuff again, and something for wattpad too so Dabi it is since it's been a while lol. Pretty much continuing on the same theme as last time, because I'm not doing too hot
"Goddammit!" you exclaimed as the carton of milk slipped from your hand and spilled on the floor.
You just stood there for a moment. Watching as the milk pooled next to your feet. Thankfully the carton was almost empty, but it was still going to be a bitch to clean up. Why was everything going wrong? Why was nothing going well for you?
"Fuck this, fuck everything" you muttered as you grabbed a rag and started cleaning up the milk.
"Who pissed in your cereal this mornin?" Dabi asked with a yawn, as he appeared from the bedroom.
His hair was a mess, and he looked like he hadn't really slept much, but apparently his mood was the same as usual, annoyed.
"I'm really not in the mood for your quips right now" you grumbled.
Dabi rolled his eyes, but elected to keep his mouth shut anyway. He just watched as you cleaned the milk off the floor and threw the rag in the sink. You were leaning against the edge of the sink when he noticed your trembling. He could see the quiet tears rolling down your cheek as he approached you and stopped behind you.
"It's just milk, nothin to cry over" Dabi sighed as he ran his hand down your arm.
"It's not that, I'm just so tired of being a fucking failure" you sniffled, balling your hands into fists. "I'm tired of not being able to do anything without just immediately crumbling"
Dabi didn't really know what to say. He didn't particularly care if you didn't graduate from university or if you couldn't work. He only really cared that you were alive, and with him. You could always just come to the dark side with him, he would prefer it, but he knew you didn't want that. He didn't really have the right to tell you what to do anyway. He wasn't going to be around for much longer, so whatever happened, he probably wouldn't be there to see it.
"Just c'mere" Dabi said and pulled you against his chest, he could feel you trembling. "You ain't a failure darlin, you're right just the way you are"
You couldn't string together a coherent sentence anymore. You were just sobbing against his chest, his shirt dampening from your tears. Dabi was just holding you close as you cried.
Maybe it was the reason the two of you fit together so well. You were both failures, both outcasts that didn't really seem to fit in anywhere else. Each other was all you had and that would be enough.
A/N: I'm not in the best state of mind right now, so I wanted to write some comfort for myself. It's also kind of a reminder. Probably kinda OOC, but Idc…
Warning: Mentions of suicide
It had been a year. A year since he found you with that empty pill bottle, a year since he lost you. It had been a damn long year without you and it still hurt just as much as it did that day. Sometimes he wondered if the pain would ever stop. Would he feel this way forever? Would he hate himself for the rest of his life for not noticing? Gojo felt like he deserved it, in the end he couldn't help you. He couldn't stop you from taking your own life, and he would have to life with that guilt for the rest of his life.
He still wasn't sure if he should visit your grave, even though he was already headed there. Your family had never really approved of him. He hadn't been to your funeral, which certainly didn't win him any points with them. He couldn't bring himself to attend. He didn't want to say goodbye. He couldn't. That would mean admitting you were really gone.
Gojo still saw you everywhere. In that coffee shop you loved to visit, the park the two of you always walked through. In the cherry blossoms in spring, you'd loved them so much. He could have sworn he still heard your laughter sometimes. Some of your clothes were still at his place. He couldn't bring himself to throw them away. They still smelled like you. You were everywhere, even though you were gone.
He was still holding onto the note you'd left. Your family had gotten another one. You'd put them in envelopes on the bedside table, like they were holiday cards, waiting to go in the mail. His name was written on the envelope in that charming handwriting of yours, and it was the worst thing he ever had to read.
He could recite the whole thing from memory if someone asked him to. He'd read it so many times, looking for answers, but it never really offered any. It was mostly you apologizing to him for not being strong enough. He still wished you would have trusted him enough to share your burdens. He wished he could've helped you, he would have done anything for you.
When he got to your family grave, someone had already lit incense there. Your family must have visited just before he got there. He still remembered how your mother had broken down on the phone when he'd called her from the hospital. Parents aren't supposed to outlive their children.
Gojo just stared at the grave for a moment. Your family name was engraved in the stone, but you weren't supposed to be there. You were supposed to be lecturing him about all the stupid shit he did. Going to that cooking class with him. Shoving your cold hands under his shirt when you came in from the cold in the winter. You were supposed to be with him, to let him treasure you for all the years you were supposed to have together. You were supposed to be alive.
Gojo knelt down in front of the grave. He grabbed your favorite chocolate bar from his pocket and placed it next to the incense.
"I'm sorry I didn't come to your funeral…" he sighed. "There are so many things I wanna apologize for. I'm sorry I wasn't a better partner. I'm sorry I didn't see how much pain you were in… I'm sorry I let you down" he started tearing up.
For the first time since the day he'd found you dead, he cried. The floodgates opened and he couldn't stop sobbing. He sat in front of your grave and hugged his knees to his chest, trying to muffle the his cries. The year of pain, grief and loneliness all came out at once.
Gojo would never feel your embrace again. You would never kiss his forehead and hold his hand again when he woke up from a nightmare. He would never hear your laugh again, or see you excited about those little trinkets you had loved to collect. You were gone, and he would never truly know why.
A/N: Just finished rewatching the HxH anime and I'm having one of my obsessions again and Idk what else to do about it then try to write something out. I don't like some parts of Hisoka's personality (you can probably guess what I mean) but he is so hot lol… This is probably incredibly OOC, but I don't care, I just needed to write something to get all these thoughts out
Warnings: Violence and blood, mostly fluff/comfort though, suggestive, possessive Hisoka
Word count: 2870
Another day of waking up in Hisoka's bed on the Heaven's Arena. Another day of trying to squirm out of his grasp while he clung to you like a leech. You tried to push him away, but he didn't even budge. You weren't even sure if he was still asleep, or just pretending.
"Come on Hisoka, let go of meeeeee" you whined a bit over dramatically, as he kept you from moving away.
You didn't even really want to go anywhere, you were perfectly content in bed with him, but annoying him occasionally was one of your little pleasures in life. Hisoka had his arms wrapped around your waist quite tightly, and his face was buried in the back of your neck. You could feel his lips move against your skin as he mumbled something sleepily, but you couldn't make out what he actually said. Feeling his lips on your skin made a shiver run down your spine, which he undoubtedly noticed.
"Not yet" he chuckled lazily, as his hand slipped under your shirt, squeezing your hip just enough that you could feel his nails pressing on your skin.
"You're an asshole" you muttered under your breath, rolling your eyes.
"What did you say?" Hisoka asked.
You could basically hear the smirk in his voice, even if you couldn't see his face. You could also feel his nails digging deeper into the flesh of your hip.
"You're an asshole" you repeated louder.
He just chuckled, pressing a kiss on the back of your neck and loosening his grip on your hip and around your waist. Even though he did that, you didn't move away from him.
"I thought you wanted to leave?" he purred in your ear.
"I just wanted you to let go of me, I didn't say I was gonna go anywhere" you muttered.
"You may as well stay in bed with me darling. I'll take good care of you" Hisoka murmured, peppering kisses on your neck and shoulder.
"Mmm, I'd love to, but I've got a match today and I need to prepare" you sighed. "Speaking of which, what time it is?" you grabbed your phone from the nightstand and turned on the screen.
"Goddammit!" you groaned and jumped out of bed, almost elbowing Hisoka in the nose accidentally. "I'm gonna be late! Fuck!"
He just lounged on the bed, as you pulled on your pants and threw your night shirt to the side, rummaging through your bag for a better shirt, while topless. Hisoka couldn't deny that he quite enjoyed the view. He couldn't help but want to pull you back into bed with him, but he knew the match was important to you, so he resisted urge.
You threw on a tank top and a long sleeved shirt on top of that, before hurrying to pull your boots on.
"This shouldn't take too long, the guy who challenged me is pissed that I beat his friend, but he didn't seem that strong either" you explained with a laugh as you laced up your boots. "But I'll take the easy win"
"Make sure nothing happens to that pretty face of yours, it would be a pity if it got scarred" Hisoka smiled as he got up and headed for the shower.
"Yeah, yeah. See ya!" you exclaimed as you hurried out the door.
You made it to the arena in the nick of time and as you had predicted, the fight didn't take very long. You got a few points off of him to make it a show, before knocking him out. The poor bastard didn't earn a single point, but that's what he got for challenging you on a whim. Oh well, it wasn't your problem. You decided to deviate from your original plan and go pick up some food from a nearby restaurant.
You were just around the corner from the Heaven's Arena, carrying a bag of food, when you felt something slash the back of your hand. You didn't know where it came from or what it was, but you were immediately on guard. Was it someone passing by? Did someone throw a blade at you? There was a cut just under your knuckles and suddenly you felt your arm go numb. Poison? A paralytic of some kind? You couldn't even hold on to the small bag of food, your arm felt so weak, and the sensation was spreading to the rest of your body quickly.
Before you knew it, someone had pushed you in the alley between two buildings. You were in a half sitting position on a couple of garbage bags, but you couldn't move. Everything below your neck was paralyzed.
"Hah, it actually worked" a familiar male voice said. It was the guy you had beaten about an hour earlier and his friend that you had beaten earlier in the week. You couldn't remember their names, but those bitter expressions looked very familiar.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" you hissed.
"What does it look like? We're getting some payback" the blond one smiled.
"So your idea of payback is sticking me in a pile of garbage, very classy" you scoffed.
"That's just where you happened to land. Payback is more like this" the blond continued, as he knelt beside you and stuck a small knife into your thigh.
"Wow, you two are real professionals. I don't feel shit" you laughed.
These idiots must've gotten the wrong type of paralytic, because it didn't leave your sense of pain intact. You hoped it would deter them from going any further, since there wouldn't really be any point in torturing you if you couldn't feel it. Even if they did, you weren't about to show them any fear, you wouldn't give them the satisfaction.
"Then there's no point to doing this, Ken. We should just go" the dark haired one said, looking around nervously.
"Shut up, if we don't do this now, we'll never get another chance"
"Listen to your friend, he seems like the smart one" you said mockingly.
"Shut your mouth bitch" the blond snarled and pulled the knife out of your thigh, dragging it down your cheek before pressing it against your throat.
You knew it wasn't a smart thing to do, but you spat on him anyway, which of course enraged him even more.
"You're dead" he hissed and pressed the knife to your throat, ready to slice.
"I didn't sign up for this, I'm out" the dark haired guy shook his head and took a few steps back.
"Hmm? What's going on here?" a sickly sweet voice came from the alleyway entrance.
A shiver run down your spine again, but not the good kind. The murderous aura emanating from Hisoka made even you nervous, even though you knew it was in no way directed towards you. You could see the man closer to Hisoka slowly turn around with a horrified look on his face, and a fraction of a second later his throat was gushing blood.
Hisoka wasn't interested in these two weaklings in the least, but he didn't like that they were damaging something that belonged to him. He was rather fond of you after all, his little toy, and no one broke his toys but him. He flicked his card to the side, the blood from it making an arch on the wall next to him.
"Aaww, you did get your pretty face hurt" Hisoka sighed, before turning his cold eyes to the man in front of him.
If he wasn't tense before, he certainly was now. You could feel the blade trembling against your jugular, which you didn't particularly enjoy. If this moron made one wrong move, he might slit your throat even if he didn't mean to.
"How about we make a deal hmm? You get your filthy hands off what's mine and I kill you quickly" Hisoka smiled sweetly, but his eyes were dark.
"You bastard, how-how dare you do that-do that to my friend?!" the blond shouted, lifting the knife from your neck and starting to move towards Hisoka.
The man was way too slow to be a threat to him, and with one swift movement, Hisoka sliced his neck with one of his playing cards. The man fell, probably dead before he even hit the ground.
"Thanks" you sighed.
"Hmm, how did they get the best of you I wonder" Hisoka smirked.
"They used some kind of paralytic on a knife or something" you groaned from the pile of garbage, still unable to move. "They managed to cut me in the crowd, and shove me here. Now help me up, I don't wanna lay in this trash pile any longer then I have to"
You tried to raise your hand for him to grab, and to your surprise, it did move a little bit with. These guys were idiots, the paralytic was already wearing off. It must have either been very bad quality, or the dose had been very small.
"Well, it looks like you'll be able to make your own way back, so I'll be off" Hisoka turned to walk away.
"Hey! Are you seriously going to just leave me here?" you complained.
Hisoka just gave you a small wave as he departed and you were left lying there. It didn't take very long for you to be able to get up, but your body was still somewhat numb and when you finally made it back to Heaven's Arena, and Hisoka's room, he wasn't there.
"That goddamn clown" you muttered as you threw your dirty clothes away and moved to the bathroom to asses the damage you'd suffered.
The wound on your thigh was surprisingly shallow and probably not really anything to worry about. The cut on the back of your hand was very shallow and not real cause for concern. You were more vexed by the gash on your cheek. It would heal, but it would probably leave a nasty scar. The guy had really pressed the knife down, damn him.
"Well nothing I can do about it now" you sighed, looking at yourself in the bathroom mirror.
The blood from your cheek had ran down your neck and all the way down to your chest. You really wanted to get rid that garbage stench too, so you hopped in the shower. Almost the moment you turned the water on, you heard to room door open and close.
"What took him so long?" you wondered out loud.
You heard something soft fall on the floor in the other room and soon the bathroom door opened and Hisoka stepped in. He pulled aside the shower curtain and stepped into the shower behind you, pressing his body against your back. His hands wandered for a moment, before settling on your waist.
"Didn't you just take a shower like a couple hours ago?" you asked with a snarky tone.
"Yes…"
"So why are you here?" you asked, suddenly finding yourself feeling upset.
He'd left you lying in a heap of garbage. Granted, he did probably save your life, but still, not very nice. Not that you ever really expected him to be, helping you didn't really serve him in any way. Hisoka didn't really ever do anything unless it served his own needs or goals. You thought you would have been used to it by now, but apparently not. You turned around to face him, the warm water now pouring down your back.
"No reason really" he smiled that sickly sweet smile of his. "I just wanted to see if your wounds were serious"
"We'll you clearly weren't that worried, since you left me lying in that alley" you muttered, he was clearly contradicting himself.
"I have an acquaintance in town that would be able to fix that cut on your face. I went to look for her" Hisoka said annoyingly calmly.
"And did you find her?" you rolled your eyes.
"Yes, she'll be up here soon. Her Nen technique is truly a marvel"
"Oh?"
"You probably won't even have a scar once she's done"
Hisoka raised his hand to your cheek, and brushed his thumb over the gash gently. It still made you wince a little bit. He so enjoyed how you reacted to his touch, it was like you melted in his hands the instant he touched you. He could feel the tension leave you, as you leaned your face into his hand.
"We-well, I'd better get this blood washed off then" you said suddenly and turned back around.
You started scrubbing your neck and chest with a washcloth to get the dried blood off, but Hisoka snatched it from your hand and started doing it for you. He scrubbed your chest and neck in some very deliberate circles, before moving down to your left upper thigh. Goddammit, you felt like you just wanted to lean back against him and let him do whatever he wanted, but just as you thought that, he stopped.
"All done" he smirked mischievously.
"Damn you" you whispered, barely audible.
By the widening smirk on his face, you could tell he'd clearly heard you. Damn this man.
You wrapped yourself in a fluffy towel as Hisoka dried himself off and stepped into the main room lacking both a towel and any sense of shame. You followed him out and saw a pink haired woman sitting on the couch her back to the two of you. She started turning around and it all felt like it was happening in slow motion. You grabbed Hisoka's clothes from the floor, grabbed his arm and pushed him back into the bathroom and threw the clothes at him.
"Put some clothes on" you hissed at him and slammed the door shut.
You were still in a towel yourself, but at least you were covered. Besides, she only needed to use her Nen ability on your cheek.
"Are you the one Hisoka asked me to come here for?" the woman asked.
"Yeah, he apparently doesn't like the idea of my face getting scarred"
She got up from the couch and grabbed your chin, turning your head to look at the wound from a couple of different angles.
"Hhmm, I don't think it's gonna leave a scar. Sit down, stay still and close your eyes"
You did as you were told and sat down on the couch. As she got started, you closed your eyes, feeling a couple of small pricks on your cheek, but nothing more.
"It really is amazing" Hisoka's voice came from behind you.
"Too bad I can't see it" you muttered.
"Well, I'm done anyway"
"Thanks" you said, raising a hand to your cheek to feel the spot where the wound had been just moments ago.
There was maybe a little bit of roughness, but you weren't sure.
"Wow, I don't know exactly what you did, but you're very good at it"
"I'll take my leave now" the woman said, looking from you to Hisoka, who just smiled at her.
She looked like she wanted to say something more, but decided against it and left without another word.
"Mm, she really does good work" Hisoka praised.
"I assume she's the one that reattached your arms the other day?" you asked with a raised brow.
"Indeed"
"How do you know her?" you asked, just genuinely curious.
"She's a fellow spider" he smiled, but you felt like there was something he was leaving out.
You were under the impression the spiders didn't really do favors for each other, so you wondered what Hisoka had offered her to get her to come patch you up. Oh well, it's not like he would tell you even if you asked.
"I'm gonna throw some clothes on and go get some food, I'm starving" you stretched as you got up from the couch.
You couldn't even resist before you found yourself lying on the bed again with Hisoka looming over you with that hungry look in his eyes. Yet another shiver ran through your body, this time in anticipation.
"What-what are you doing?" you stammered, not being able to look him in the eyes.
"I'm merely taking what's mine" he licked his lips.
His knee was between your legs, just on the edge of the towel that was the only thing covering you. You swallowed hard as he pulled you closer to the edge of the bed. He knelt down on the floor and his hands started pushing the towel up towards your hips, painfully slowly.
He got past the knife wound and stopped for a moment. How dare someone damage what was his? He leaned down and pressed a couple of gentle kisses around the wound, before pushing the towel past your hips.
"Ple-please… Hisoka…" you begged, your face flush and eyes needy.
Oh, how he loved that little tremble in your voice. You needed him so badly. It would have been amusing to just leave the whole thing here. Leaving you quivering in anticipation was always so much fun, but he needed you too. He needed to feel you melt in his hands again, to make a mess of you. Again and again, until you begged him to stop.
A/N: Here we go again. Part 1 here, part 2 here, part 3 here, part 4 here and part 5 here. This whole series has just been angst and it will continue as such until the very end probably… Sorry it's been so long, I've had no motivation for writing lol
When you left Gojo standing outside the detention room, you didn't look back. You just wanted to get back to Nanami. You'd gotten what you could out of Ava for now, but you'd probably have to go back later. You still needed to get the details about the curse user who'd held you captive, but you didn't have the strength for that now. You just wanted to go back to the infirmary, have Shoko take a look at your back, and go home. Ava could rot in her cell for a while, she deserved it.
It's not like he had seriously thought you would leave Nanami and get back together with him, but it was still crushing to hear you wouldn't. Somewhere, in some small corner of his mind, he had still hoped. Even when he was together with Ava, he had hoped. For a moment he had been glad things had gone so south with her, because maybe there would have been a chance that things would go back to how they had been with you. That's not how it turned it out. Now he had no one. He had lost the person he had loved yet again. Maybe he was just supposed to be alone. Maybe he wasn't meant for any kind of partnership. Suguru and you, he'd loved both and he'd lost both. Neither of you were dead, but you were both firmly out of his reach.
Ava was a different story all together. Gojo had loved her, sure, but she had just been deceiving him. Her feelings had never been real, it had just been some delusional infatuation. Gojo had never known her at all, and now that he thought about it, she hadn't known him either, not like you. Not that she had ever really taken more than a shallow interest, anyway. She had wanted him for what he could give her, not for him. You on the other hand had never cared about his status. You'd never let him get away with any of the idiotic behavior he was so prone to. You had always been there to set him straight.
When you got back to the infirmary, Shoko took a quick look at you and sent you home to recuperate. Nanami was waiting outside the examination room, but as soon as you emerged, you wrapped your arms around him and just let him hold you for a while.
"How did it go?" he finally asked.
"Well she's a vindictive bitch, that's for sure" you muttered.
"Did you find out anything about your missing time?"
"Not really, I'm gonna go back to talk to her in a couple of days, but for now she can stay in her cell and rot for all I care. Can we go home now? I want to put some distance between Gojo and me as well…"
"Did something happen with him?" Nanami raised a brow.
"I'd rather talk about it after we get home"
"Of course"
When you and Nanami got back home, you found yourself feeling nervous. You knew Nanami wasn't the jealous sort, but Gojo certainly was. You couldn't stop thinking about what he said to you.
"You could leave him" his words echoed in your head.
You knew he could say some outrageous things sometimes, but this certainly took the cake. Sure, you'd loved him, in some ways you probably still did, but you were with Nanami now, and you were happy with him. Leaving him was a thought that had never even crossed your mind, not once. Not even now that Gojo was on the market again, he was your past, and Nanami was your present and hopefully future.
"What are you thinking about?" Nanami asked, placing his hands on your hips from behind, pulling you out of your thoughts.
"Just something Gojo said" you sighed.
"Did he upset you again?" you could hear the annoyance in his voice
"No, it's not that… He said that I could leave you… to be with him" you trailed off.
"I knew he still had feelings for you, but that's audacious even for him" Nanami sighed, now sounding more disappointed than mad.
"I told him I'm with you and that I'm happy. As long as you'll have me, I'm not going anywhere" you said, leaning your head back against his chest with a small smile.
He just smiled down at you, and pressed a kiss on the top of your head. "I'll gladly have you forever"
Nanami knew Gojo wasn't really one to give up easily. He'd seen how Gojo had spiraled after you had died. He'd become reckless. People had gotten hurt because of his carelessness, and everyone around him had just had to watch him deteriorate. Then Ava had come along and life had returned to his eyes. Slowly, but surely, he had begun to heal, and now this. He knew Gojo would never intentionally hurt you, but that didn't mean he couldn't become unstable. You had been his anchor, so had Ava. Now he was just adrift, with no one to return to.
Nanami couldn't imagine losing you, let alone twice, but it still didn't give Gojo the right to say such things. Did he not for a second consider how it would make you feel? After Gojo had basically abandoned you at the hospital after your return, he didn't have the right to ask you that. He didn't have the right to make any requests of you. Not after everything that had happened. Not after everything you'd gone through.
God, why was he such an idiot? He didn't have the right to ask you that, no matter how much he wanted it. Gojo knew it was selfish to say that to you. You were happy with Nanami, anyone could see that, but you'd been happy with him once too.
Gojo didn't want to go home. The thought of going back to an empty house just made him remember everything that had happened. There was no one there waiting for him. Not Ava, and certainly not you. He knew Shoko kept a bottle of whiskey in her office desk's drawer, so that's where he headed. It had been years since he had last had a taste of alcohol. Ava had insisted on him staying sober after he had hit rock bottom. It hadn't been easy, but it had been easier with her. Now it just felt stupid. Why would he do anything that bitch wanted?
When he reached Shoko's office, she wasn't there. Gojo wrenched the drawer open and just stared at the bottle for a moment. It seemed like Shoko had just bought a new one. The amber liquid sloshed in the bottle as he picked it up and twisted off the cap. He hesitated only for a moment, before bringing the bottle to his lips and taking the first big gulp.
"Back down we go" he muttered as he wiped his mouth with his sleeve.
It was a bit funny, actually. Ava was the one who had managed to bring him back from the brink, and now she was the one pushing him over the edge. Irony at it's finest.
hey I saw ur recent post! do u write for toji from jjk? if so can I request a sh or suicide fic w him? have a great day <3
A/N: I'm kinda of (unfortunately?) in a mood for this, so I got it done quite quickly. I hope you enjoy lol
WARNINGS: Self-harm by cutting, blood
You hadn't been able to sleep, you'd just kept spiraling and spiraling. All the bad thoughts just wouldn't leave you alone. You'd somehow managed to squirm out of Toji's embrace without waking him up, and tiptoed to the bathroom. You sat on the bathroom floor, and leaned your back against the wall beside the door. You just stared at the ceiling for a while, before rummaging through the under-sink cabinet. You found the razor blades you'd hidden in the back of the cabinet and grabbed one. You took a deep breath, and pressed the blade onto your thigh.
"What's wrong with me?" you muttered, frustrated, as you looked at the razor blade in your hand and the blood slowly dripping down the side of your thigh.
For just a moment, before Toji really woke up, that scent of blood made him panic. All he could see in his mind was your body, lifeless, in a pool of blood. When his brain finally caught up with his senses, he realized the scent wasn't strong enough for there to be very much blood. It wasn't much of a relief though, because there wasn't supposed to be a scent like that in your home. Especially not because of you.
"Doll, I can smell the blood" Toji's voice came through the door. "Let me in"
It wasn't a request, it was a command. He sounded like he would break down the door if you didn't let him in. It wouldn't really be out of character for him either, so you just took a deep breath and reached for the lock. Your hand hovered over it for a moment, before you twisted it open. The second the lock clicked, the door flew open, and Toji was kneeling next to you.
"I'm sorry" you sniffled.
"You can't keep doin this, it ain't good for you" he said softly, but he was clearly peeved.
Toji was used to getting his hands bloody, but not like this. He never wanted it to be your blood. He didn't really understand what would drive a person to hurt themselves like you did, but he wasn't going to judge you for it. He just hated that you were in so much pain you didn't see another way to deal with it. Toji wasn't used to feeling so powerless.
"Sorry I woke you up, I thought I was being quiet"
"You got no need to apologize, besides there wasn't any noise, it was the scent of blood that woke me up. Scared me good too"
"Oh" you said quietly.
"Now let's get you cleaned up. The wound don't look too deep, it's just bleedin pretty bad"
You just sat quietly on the floor, as Toji wiped the blood off your thigh. It stung a bit, but by the time he wrapped a bandage around it, the bleeding had pretty much stopped. Toji's hands felt warm on your skin. His hands were calloused and rough, but with you he was gentle.
"Go back to bed doll. I'll clean this up" he said, motioning towards the small pool of blood next to where you were sitting.
You did as he told you. He helped you up from the floor, and you headed back to bed. It didn't take him long to clean up, and as soon as he had washed his hands, he came back to bed too.
"C'mere" Toji sighed, and pulled you closer to him.
He wrapped your arms around your waist and pulled your back against his chest, pressing his face into your hair. Inhaling deeply. The scent of blood still lingered in the air, but he was just focusing on your scent. It calmed him, and so did knowing you were back in his arms. If he could, he would get rid of all that pained you. Even thought he couldn't really do that, he would help you up every time you needed it. He would hold tight and keep you safe.
You loved being in his arms. Even if you didn't know how to say it, you hoped he knew how much he meant to you. He was safety, he was home, he was your rock, your light in the dark. He was your everything, and you were his.
I don't have any requests in the askbox currently, so if someone wants to send something, that would be greatly appreciated. Just remember to check the rules in the pinned post before sending an ask lol. I don't really have any ideas currently, though I should probably work on the ongoing fic series I have...
A/N: I was asked for more Dabi stuff on wattpad, so here I go again with my depression bullshit. Take a wild guess who is not having a very good time atm lol…
As if your day wasn't bad enough already, when you were walking home from the store through the park, someone bumped into you and you dropped your phone.
"Hey!" you exclaimed, but the guy just kept walking away.
"Asshole" you muttered as you picked up your phone from the pavement.
Luckily, the screen wasn't broken, but there was a crack on the phone case. You just sighed, and continued walking towards your apartment.
You had barely managed to drag yourself to get some groceries, while Dabi was probably still sleeping on your couch. He was really useless with everyday things like shopping or cooking, but he was good company, at least most of the time. Besides, you didn't really have anyone else. After you moved to the city for your studies, you hadn't really been back home much. Your family was still in that little town, and so was your best friend. You hadn't really heard from them much ever since you moved, especially after you stopped texting first.
Maybe it was better that way, they wouldn't have liked to watch you deteriorate and become this person you had turned into. You'd dropped out of university, and now you were barely keeping up with rent and other expenses by working when you could. You hadn't really had luck with "normal" jobs, and you'd eventually ended up working for Giran. You just ran errands for him, it did get you into some dangerous situations sometimes, but so far you'd managed to avoid any serious injury. One day, Giran had introduced you to Dabi and ever since then, he'd never really left your life.
When you got back home, you kicked your shoes into a corner and set the backpack full of groceries by the fridge, intending to empty it after you checked on the snoring pest that had yet again taken over your couch.
He looked so different when he slept. Not exactly peaceful, but at least he didn't have that usual scowl on his face. Him not making sassy or just straight up mean comments at you was also a plus. You just sighed and when you were in the process of turning away, he grabbed your wrist and pulled you down.
"Ow" you protested as Dabi basically pinned you between himself and the backrest of the couch.
"Shut up" he muttered into your hair.
"I have groceries to put away" you sighed, but you didn't even resist.
He felt so warm. His quirk caused him to have a pretty high internal temperature, but you'd forgotten how nice and toasty it was being pressed against him. Lately he hadn't been around much, but now that he was, you realized how much you'd missed it. Being held, just being close to someone like this. He probably didn't even realize it, but he was chasing away the cold that had settled into your chest over the past few months. It was as if he was slowly, carefully warming your frostbitten heart. You buried your face into his chest and just took a few wavering breaths.
"What the hell? Are you crying?" Dabi asked, pushing you away a little to get a better look at your face.
"Oh" you blinked a few times. "I didn't even notice" you sniffled as you looked up at him.
"Well I did, my shirt is damp" Dabi scoffed.
"Sorry… I need to put the groceries away so I'll go" you sighed.
"Did I tell you to move?" he scoffed and tightened his embrace.
You just shook your head and pressed your forehead against his chest.
"Thank you" you muttered into his shirt.
"Tsk" Dabi rolled his eyes.
He knew he hadn't been around much over the past few months, but to think you would end up in such a bad place just because he wasn't around. Last night, Dabi had let you think he had fallen asleep before you, so he when you started talking to yourself, he was actually all ears. He could hear you quietly talking about how you didn't see the point anymore. You were so tired of this same vicious circle repeating over and over again. Maybe it was on purpose, maybe you'd hoped he was listening. He'd heard you sobbing in your bed, but he didn't know what to do about it at the time, so he just let you keep crying. He had heard how you tried to muffle your sobs with a pillow, but it didn't do much. What could he have said to you anyway? He wasn't exactly one for all that warm and fuzzy stuff. This was all he could do. To hold you when he didn't know what the hell he was supposed to say.
Maybe it would be enough? Maybe he could just hold you until you weren't so exhausted anymore. Until you didn't need to cry yourself to sleep every night. Dabi would gladly hold you as long as it took for the coldness to go away.
I've been missing Kacchan and the BNHA days a lot recently.
They were simpler times, and it's crazy how healing it can be to revisit old hyper fixations and characters that meant so much to you. I always fancied using Horikoshi's rendering as reference for a piece and realised it was something that I never got round to, so this felt like a good time for it.
This is also lowkey a test to see where my art reaches the most people - here, bsky, twt or insta - so welcome to the experiment, pals!
Hey, I know this is kind of specific for a request, but I'm going to start HRT soon (inshallah, this appointment must go well) and since I don't have anyone to go with me, I was wondering if you could indulge me with a Dadzawa & FTM Reader fic, where he just lets them know in the waiting room that it's gonna be alright and he's there for his son/student/whatever. Aizawa's age is irrelevent, but if the reader could be early 20s? Thank you!
A/N: I was so sure I had written something like this before, but it seems not. I wrote it so Aizawa is the reader's uncle, and he's in his 40s or something. I started a scenario for this, but I couldn't get it to flow, so I ended up doing HCs instead. I also headcanon Aizawa as trans, so I wrote that into this too lol. It's been months since I got this request, and I hope you got HRT!
Aizawa was sitting with you in the waiting room at the doctor's, and you were bouncing your leg because you were really nervous
He placed his hand on your knee and patted it a few times, before giving you an empathetic look
He started telling you about when he first got HRT when he was around your age, a couple of years younger
He'd been on testosterone for about twenty years at this point, and it was one of the best decisions he ever made
He told you he was just as nervous as you, but it turned out fine for him and no matter what happened, it would be fine for you too
You knew he was trans of course, but he'd never talked much about his transition, and you'd never really asked
He'd always been there for you, ever since you were a kid, he'd sat in that waiting room so many times before, waiting as you went to see the doctors for various things
"You'll be fine kid, and I'm here for you" he said and petted your hair wildly
It was so comforting to hear that
You were like his own kid, and he would support you no matter what
When your name was finally called, you looked back at Aizawa, feeling a little less nervous, and he just nodded at you with a slight smile
A/N: This was for a request on wattpad about Gojo having a partner with abandonment issues. Gojo ends up cheating on them and drama ensues, he is pretty much an asshole in this one lol… Idk if this really went like the requester wanted, but it's something
It was the seventh text in the span of an hour. Seventh! Gojo was getting so tired of it. You always did this. Every damn time he was late coming home, you started sending him worried texts. At the beginning of your relationship, it had been kind of endearing, but now it was just a pain in the ass. He felt so goddamn suffocated. Sometimes he didn't even feel like going back to your place, but even if he had taken his time sometimes, he had always come back to you. Just to be faced with questions like "Where were you?" and "Why are you home so late?". He was getting so tired of it.
Gojo was once again sitting in a bar, spinning around the ice cubes in his glass with a straw from one of his previous drinks. His phone buzzed again. An eight message. He just sighed.
"Another please" Gojo requested, pushing his glass towards the bartender.
Gojo glanced up and a brunette at the other end of the bar caught his eye. He had seen her before, but they'd never talked. The brunette met his eyes and waved at him with a flirty smile. Gojo waved back, his lips curling into a small smile. It would be nice to have one night without the constant pestering from you, he just wanted to feel like he could breathe again.
You were waiting at home. Gojo had left all your messages on read and the last one was just delivered. He hadn't even seen it. Was something wrong? Where was he? Why wasn't he home yet? You were starting to get very worried. You knew you could be clingy sometimes, and you tried to keep it under control, but you couldn't help but worry. What if he just decided not to come home? What were you going to do then?
Two more hours passed, and he hadn't answered your calls either. You'd tried to call him four times, and sent him a dozen more messages, but you got no answer. He hadn't even seen the messages. It was getting late and you were getting very anxious. You wanted to go to bed, but you weren't sure if you could even fall asleep. You were so worried. Why wasn't he texting you back? Was there something wrong?
Gojo had been sitting by the bar, downing drink after drink while exchanging glances with the pretty brunette. The alcohol didn't have much of an effect on him, so he needed to drink a lot to even get buzzed. He didn't want to go home. He didn't want to deal with an endless stream of questions, and your insecurities right now. He just wanted something or someone to take his mind off you. So he kept drinking, hoping to distract himself from the texts that just kept piling up.
He didn't need to do that for very long though, because a much-needed distraction approached him.
"Hey handsome" said the brunette who had been making eyes at him all evening.
"Hello" he smirked, setting his glass down on the counter. "You've been looking at me all evening"
"I could say the same about you" the woman smiled flirtatiously.
For the first time in a long while, Gojo didn't feel like he was suffocating. He was just talking to someone, without you breathing down his neck or getting insecure. It was just a normal conversation, a fun conversation. One thing led to another, and the next morning Gojo found himself waking up in an unfamiliar hotel room, with the brunette from the evening before.
"Fuuuuck" he hissed as he sat up.
Now he wanted to go home even less. He had cheated on you and the first thought he had upon waking up afterwards was that you were going to be bitchy about it. It was selfish, he knew it, but he didn't care. He checked his phone and threw it on the pillow almost immediately. So many texts and missed calls, all from you.
You had slept maybe five hours the whole night. You'd been tossing and turning, checking your phone in hopes of seeing a message from Gojo. None came, but you sent a few of your own. Even in the morning when you woke up, they were all still delivered. Not even read, just delivered. Where was he? You didn't want to consider it, but why else would he had stayed somewhere all night? Had he cheated on you? Was that what this was about?
When Gojo finally managed to drag himself back to your apartment it was already noon. He was supposed to spend the night there with you, but instead he had spent it at a hotel with some woman whose name he didn't even remember now. He wasn't even sure if he'd asked her name, it didn't matter now, it was done and there was nothing he could do to take it back. Now he just had to deal with the consequences.
"Where were you all night? I was so worried" you questioned as soon as he stepped in.
"Could we not do this right now?" Gojo sighed, taking his shoes off and walking past you into the apartment.
"Do what? I think I deserve to know where you've been" you said, leaning against the living room door frame.
He didn't say anything. He just sat down on the couch and exhaled deeply. As if he was preparing for something.
"Satoru? Where were you?"
"I was at the hotel bar…" he trailed off.
"I'm sure you weren't there all night. I know you don't get drunk easily, but even you would be buzzed if you'd been drinking all night" you scoffed.
"Yeah, I was drunk and I slept at the hotel" he said, averting his gaze.
It wasn't exactly a lie, but it wasn't the whole truth either. He knew you would be like this. He knew you would start interrogating him the second you saw him, and it annoyed him to no end. Gojo wasn't even really annoyed about breaking your trust and cheating on you. He was annoyed, because he was getting questioned all the damn time. It was suffocating.
"Did you sleep alone?" you asked quietly, crossing your arms over your chest.
You didn't want to ask that, but the words just kind of fell out of your mouth.
"No" Gojo sighed.
You could feel yourself tearing up. How could he do this to you? Had you done something wrong?
"It didn't mean anything…" he added.
"And that makes it better? You cheated on me, Satoru!" you exclaimed.
"Well honestly, what did you expect?" he scoffed with an annoyed tone. "You're suffocating me with all this clinginess and other bullshit"
"If you felt that way, then why didn't you say anything? I can't change things if I don't know I need to" you questioned.
"I'm so tired of you making your insecurities my problem all the fucking time. You texting and calling me forty times, because I don't answer is just annoying, I don't care if it's making you anxious that I don't answer. I have responsibilities and I can't deal with your abandonment issues all the damn time" he hissed as he stood up from the couch.
You had no idea he'd been feeling this way. It's not like Gojo was very in touch with his feelings, but for god's sake, he clearly knew what about you was annoying him and why. Why hadn't he said anything? Why did he always have to bottle everything up?
"Fine, then you can leave. You don't need to deal with my crap anymore, because I'm breaking up with you"
Gojo wasn't exactly sure what he'd been expecting, but he didn't think you'd break up with him. In some weird way, he'd thought you wouldn't care about the cheating, or at least not enough to break things off with him. Now that you'd actually said the words, though, an immense wave of guilt washed over him as he realized his actions had some very real consequences. He'd broken your trust, and your heart, and now he had to deal with the repercussions.
You didn't want to lose him, but you also wouldn't stand for being so massively disrespected. You felt conflicted.
"Please baby, it didn't mean anything, I swear" Gojo tried to beg, taking a step closer to you.
"Why did you do it then?" you hissed with teary eyes.
"I don't know, I just… I don't know" he sighed, looking down at the floor in defeat.
"No matter the reason, it wouldn't change what you did. So get out of my apartment" you commanded angrily.
"Baby please" Gojo said, reaching for your hand.
You took a step back, as if you were disgusted he would even attempt to do such a thing. Gojo had never seen you look at him like that. Your eyes were filled with such anger and sadness. You looked broken, and it was his fault. Worst of all, there was nothing he could do to make it better. Why had he done something so stupid? Why had he broken your heart? He felt like the biggest asshole in the world.
"I'm sorry" he whispered as he speed walked past you.
Gojo turned to look at you one more time as he put his shoes on, but you weren't even facing him. He didn't want to leave, but he had decided long ago he would respect your decisions, no matter how much it pained him. This was his fault, after all.
You couldn't look at him. You were afraid that if you met his eyes, you would tell him to stay. You loved him, yes, but some things even you weren't willing to forgive. Cheating was certainly one of them. You'd given all of yourself to him, and he had just thrown it away. You heard the door shut, and you finally let yourself start crying.
A/N: Some Abby comfort. This isn't an extra to the Beyond Time fic I wrote in July, but I just felt like I needed some comfort, and I've been having some nice dreams so I was inspired to write some fluffy comfort. Not particularly canon compliant I guess, but Idc
He was still asleep beside you when you woke up. It was a rare occurrence, Abby was usually the one that was up first. The show from the night before must have really wiped him out. Apparently, even demons needed a proper rest sometimes. You smiled as you looked at him, and you raised your hand to his face, placing it on the side of his face and brushing his cheek with your thumb. He would be like that forever, he would never change, never grow old. You, on the other hand, were having a bit of a crisis because of your upcoming birthday.
Another year had passed, and so much had changed. Your body had changed this year too. You'd gained more scars and more stretch marks. Some of the changes happened because you wanted them. Like the drastic haircut you got a month ago, or the new piercings you got a couple of months before that. Some, just happened.
Your life had changed too, you'd started dating Abby and had had to get used to a lot of new things. Most of them good, some a bit annoying, none outright bad. You had to get used to sleeping next to him, and now that you had, it was hard to sleep when he wasn't there. You'd had to get used to him making you breakfast and him taking care of you when you weren't feeling your best. Above all, you'd had to get used to the fact that he always put you first. It had been a year of new experiences.
Sometimes you wondered how many times Abby had loved and lost in the past. You knew you weren't the first person he'd loved, and you certainly weren't going to be the last. He was immortal, after all. He would certainly outlive you, you were just a human, your lifespan was limited. He was a beautiful, otherworldly demon with his golden eyes and purple patterns. You were just… you, a flawed human being. Some days you wondered what he ever saw in you.
Abby could feel your hand leaving his cheek. He had been kind of half-awake for some time now, just enjoying your gentle touch on his face. He opened his eyes, just to see you tearing up, looking upset.
"Hey, what's wrong baby?" he asked, a tinge of panic in his voice.
"I'm just… I don't know" you sniffled, wiping your eyes and sitting up with your back to him, suddenly not wanting him to see you cry.
"Talk to me, baby please"
"I would, if I knew how to" you sniffled.
Abby moved to sit behind you, his legs on either side of you and your back against his broad chest. He wrapped his arms around your waist loosely, and pressed his face into the crook of your neck.
"You can ramble if you need to, I don't mind" he said and kissed your neck gently.
"You sure?" you asked.
"Of course baby"
"My birthday is coming up, and I'm having a bit of a crisis, I guess... I'm going to be another year older than you this year and… I don't know. You're not going to age, you're not going to change, and I'm changing constantly. What if I turn into someone you don't want to be with?" you sniffled.
"That's not possible" Abby murmured into your neck, pulling you closer to him.
"You can't be sure. What if I get worse again? What if I become a burden? I don't want you to have to deal with that, you don't deserve that"
"It doesn't matter, I'll love you even if you never get better. I'll love you as long as you let me, and even then, if you don't want me anymore, I'll love you from afar" Abby vowed.
"You can't promise that. I don't know what the future will bring, and neither do you. I don't want to end up hurting you"
"You could never do anything to me that would hurt as much as losing you. I promise I'll love you, even if you get worse"
You couldn't help it. You just started sobbing. You did love him, and you never wanted to lose him. You were absolutely terrified of being a burden on anyone, especially the people you loved. Abby hugged you closer, and you clung onto him like your life depended on it. No one had ever said something like that to you.
He didn't mind if you changed, that's what humans did. You would grow and change all throughout your life, and he was a bit envious of that. He wouldn't change, in a way, he was frozen in time. Even if he never got to grow old with you, he would be by your side till the day you died, hopefully a long time from now. He hadn't known you for that long yet, it had almost been a year since you'd started going out, but he knew from the moment he met you that you were someone he would love for the rest of his very long life.
He just held you until you stopped crying, and even after that you stayed in his arms. He felt like safety, he felt like home. He was all you'd ever wanted. He'd seen you for you, and he'd stayed anyway, he'd promised to love you anyway. That's all you could ever ask for.
