I'm A Fallon And I Can't Get Up

25. NYC. Teaching. 9 times out of 10, a post is a puppy, a pun, or on my best days, both.

[luxiomahariel]

they should invent a taking care of your own body thats easy

[monsterpotion]

another underappreciated tumblr feature that you dont get on other sites is the queue. i love it when something i thought was funny six months ago and then forgot about a week later crawlts its way out of the processing vortex and i get to see it all over again.

[monsterpotion]

you should queue this post it would be funny and grant me immortality

[monsterpotion]

you motherfuckers put me in the processing vortex

[sexybritishllama]

it might just be because im sleep deprived from jetlag rn but this r/relationship_advice post is making me cry actual tears of laughter. i read the post at first and was like yeah pretty standard whatever but im nosey so i clicked on the drawing op linked and i was not mentally prepared for it. putting it under a read more so you can get the same experience as i did

some of the top comments

[anxietyproblem]

[khvylovy]

dear usamerican high schoolers looking for a way to resist fascism: sit through the pledge of allegiance.

no getting up. no looking at the flag.

everyone will be looking at you. you'll be sweating like a fucking hippopotamus. your teacher will sternly tell you to get up. you'll feel stupid and that maybe its not worth it because you're just a kid in a classroom. but I'm here to remind you that there are no real life consequences to detention. there are however real life consequences to resisting a thoughtless performance of nationalism.

[hey-its-dfall]

Teachers can do this too.

[coloredcompulsion]

[keskaowl]

tags from coloredcompulsion:

[2urban2fantasy-deactivated20241]

“Could you be the chosen one?”

“I am very much the guy who’s here.”

[lifewithchronicpain]

[the-gay-goblin]

Only day you can reblog this

[roseverdict]

this has been scheduled since last month

[archaicfirehydrants]

today

[nat-20s]

I can’t speak for other social media webbed sites but I really enjoy how tumblr seems to just completely spin a wheel on whatever media is hot right now. Like yeah sometimes it’s a new show that’s big and actively coming out but also sometimes there will be a solid month where half my dash is Columbo memes. Defy authority. Get really into an book from the 1800s. Watch shows that haven’t aired in 40 years. Celebrate the anniversary of the Boston Molasses Flood. Become unmarketable

[nonasuch]

oh shit i almost missed it!

[tabigale]

my new years resolution is to……*spins wheel*…uh…..*throws dart*

happy 2016! its practically still new years, so i made these handy GIFS to determine what you need to do more of this year. take a screenshot and to find out what ya get! (dont remove plz:  (fast gifs multiple gifs seizure flashing)  )

[queenoforeos]

yeah ok

[isitamia]

Uhm

[spaceswordblaster]

[hey-its-dfall]

[necromancelena]

I like the rare occasion when I'm brave enough to respond to someone's message it's like a glimpse at a possible future where I'm so strong and have a social life even though it's scary

[anxietyproblem]

[whitepeopletwitter]

[larval-tear]

Apple Bottomjeans is a beautiful gname for a gnome

[irischroma]

Boots Witherfur is a joyful gname for this gnome’s friend

[wizrdfckr]

me and u both ouppy

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

if I wrote a dystopian novel where the corrupt evil megacorporation that controls society has a fucking smirk for a logo, my editor would tell me to use a less heavy-handed metaphor

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

and yet

[twinkiefairy]

I love this because if I were to write a literary novel in the Western cannon that described the image of an apple with a chunk bitten off, any high school English student would tell you it is a Bible reference meant to represent the source of all evil and downfall of humanity and YET 

[josaprcat]

Alright, if y'all are so smart, what’s the evil symbolism behind this?

[zumester]

[anxietyproblem]

[sailing-ever-west-deactivated20]

graph of what being hungry is like with adhd

[sailing-ever-west-deactivated20]

it occurs to me that being hungry with adhd is basically like being hungry in minecraft