Mike

Im just your average little shit

[hhoodiezz]

Nastie™

[hhoodiezz]

my cat is biting me to get my attention first my burrito now this

[hhoodiezz]

it is 3:00 AM and i am choosing to make homemade water based lube instead of sleeping for the first time in like 6 says please send some one i need an adult

[kanamedaite]

The Hylian Champion 🌰

[sumikatt]

my favorite post about the us military “defending freedom” is the one like, “how tf my freedoms get over to iraq?”

[sumikatt]

this tweet is two years old

[hhoodiezz]

im sorry

i put my lips onto white diamond

no i am not taking questions

[hozieredits]

+

[ulibeanzz]

ever notice how men criticize games like animal crossing and stardew valley on the basis of “the entire game is just doing tasks” without recognizing that “kill bad guy” is also just a task but violent?

[ulibeanzz]

”it’s so boring all you do is talk to people and do tasks so you can buy new things” yeah and all you do is press a bunch of buttons to kill people so you can buy new things? perish

[ulibeanzz]

my activity page has not known peace since i made this post i have hundreds of insufferable gamers crawling up my pant legs now but luckily i have a secret up my sleeve… i too am a gamer man. im immune to the gamer venom   

[atrius97]

This has the same energy as that post that’s “Red Dead Redemption is just Barbie’s Horse Adventure with violence”.

[the-writer-is-always-write]

In other news, reading the reviews for Cats has become my new favorite pastime:

[michaelmilkers]

best songs of the decade, ranked

1. disturbia by rihanna, 2008

2.

[muppethole-deactivated20240312]

im cryingg thank y mr henson

[mommyandherbabyprince]

A little cute argument me and mommy had before bedtime! I love her so much😊

[movedtoscammer-deactivated20190]

if i talked like this to my mom i woulda got my ass beat

[movedtoscammer-deactivated20190]

hold up

[mixt-deactivated20170822]

TAYSOOHIIGIKPOCCJUCHXDYUDIGKVOGHXXHKCKVKBKHTjkbhjckvihuta

[hhoodiezz]

places ill be touring if Mike Pence becomes president!!!!

😝 coversion therapy 🤓

😵 the electric chair 🤙

🔥 asylums to turn me straight 😚

anyway guys thanks for reading cant wait!!!!!!

[hhoodiezz]

to wash body hair are you supposed to use hair wash or body wash or both idk i thought of this at 3 am one night and it wont stop bothering me

[i-am-a-fish]

don't vibe check me im soft

[raspberri-iced-tea]

vibe check *kisses you on the forehead*

[i-am-a-fish]

*is eviscerated on impact*

[hhoodiezz]

Took an Uber to our hotel the other, my dude gave me a whole sermon about god and jesus and how you need to let the light in and really listen to those who care and how hate is such an evil feeling that we are not meant to feel and i was like "damn son I personally dont believe in god but you got hella good vibes I'm proud of u for finding your way of life"

[hhoodiezz]

nO mArViN yOu cAnT dO tHaT

[hhoodiezz]

If I get tumblr famous from my brother's cat commiting burrito vore crimes I swear to god I will delete her living privileges

[hhoodiezz]

YO HOLY SHIT