HIDE AND SEEK

Miss Saleena aged 16years. Recovering anorexic, trying to keep myself moving on my journey to redescovering myself again.. I dont even know how I got this lost and trapped. Addicted to tea, cooking, and photography, also sadly sport as i cant do it at the moment ... Keep positive, the only way you can achieve is if you believe !

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Soo utterly true right here! Yes I want to recover and be happy all the time without guilt of being normal, I want to enjoy morsels of vegan yumminess not nessisarily junk food but I want to beable to experiment and use oil in my cooking and make raw vegan cakes and foods to eat not just waste and throw away.. I want to be fit toned and healthy with a healthy relationship to food! I want to enjoy life without my petty anorexic thoughts 😭 but that part of me still holds things back and I am stuck in this motionless pit ..:( Novembers not to distant from the present and I'm going to Melbourne for the vegan day festival I am so excited I'll finally get to meet my lovely girl @rediscoveringmyself we are best friends honestly I know you all may think it's weird but I want to enjoy that weekend with her and go to meals out and not stress and feel endless guilt .. We want to experience new foods I.e pana chocolate, yongs, misterniceguys, green press but it all seems so horrific at this current time I just wish I could make both of is better but I don't know what to do anymore I just feel paralysed in this stage of my recovery ??? #anorexia #reasonstorecover #recoverymotivation #iwant #future #vegan #food #lifeaftered #edrecvery #edfamily

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This is my master piece for today! A coconut rough cake I shall call it! Used a recipe but then failed so improvised as created some signature touches 🙊 hope this doesn't look too ugly for you all it's not vegan but the icing is 👌 it wouldn't be hard to alternate it to vegan tho if you all use your little brains 🌱✨🍃 #baking #procratibaking #chocolate #cake #fun #coconutoil #coconutoilicing #skills #naughtycake

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Love this girl @rachieslifee just a little selfie for y'all! 😽✌️ #loveher #bestie #galpal #fabulous

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Little retail therapy always makes me feel alittle special 🙊 #sorrynotsorry #undies #airport

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Hehe a wonderful froyo date @cowandcoadelaide trying out their one and only vegan flavour TOo Toot so proud of myself yes I felt internally anxious but that's a common component to this fucked up disorder I feel abit better since we walked around for ages !! But I shouldn't need an excuse to have healthy vegan froyo !!! Right?!? I had vegan soy chocolate froyo topped with strawberries and some caramalized buckinis (buckwheat) and missy poo @rachieslifee had some mango, spurilina and hazelnut an topped it with a bit of forgotten goodies 😂 loved today yes it was full of guilt but also smiles !!! Logic behind today was yes there was only one flavour which was dairy free (vegan) it was chocolate automatic freak out ! But no I needed to rationalise why would I opt for a dairy option when it would be leaving me with ultimate stomach pains :( when really I was going to feel guilty no matter what!! So hell I got It because I wouldn't want to deal with pain and guilt at once ... Love you all I'm proud I myself but I need to realise this easy enough and push myself to eat more as this was much tinier than it looks .. About 160g give or take, now time to guesstimate the calories 😩 #challenge #challengeittogether #food #vegan #froyo #froyoadelaide #veganfroyo #soy #healthy #yum #fears #fighting #ilovefroyo #mmm #tummytroubles #cowandco #cocoa (at Cow & Co)

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My paradise “mon paradis”

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Nothing better than late afternoon fog in the hills, probably the only good think about today at the winery and I found out I'm going to Sydney may 14th next year (obviously)

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Mmmm @blissorganiccafe ... Get in my tummy sides from feeling like the gayest person on the planet it was so yummy my auntie and I got the bliss burger but I got the gluten free version meaning not a real bun! I was so hesitant buying this the whole time as I was waiting to order my mind was ticking over trying to make me just opt for the salad even know I had reassurance from my auntie and some slight logic that this is actually really healthy !! "Too healthy" as my auntie stated 🙊 To explain in detail! This was: A hand crafted almond, red kidney bean, lentil, carrot and parsley spiced patty, seasonal house made chutney, seasonal garden salad like lettuce, sprouts, beetroot, onion etc with soynaise and tomato sauce (all house made) obviously on gluten free bread ... Which I'm pretty ute was white 😳😳 I didn't know this when I ordered it !!!! #major #fearfood #guilt Also for a drink I ordered a raw smoothie which was made out of maca, goji berries, banana and dates & tap water 🐷🐷 #vegan #blissorganiccafe #organic #unknowncalories #freakingout #guilt #anxiety #markets #teamchallangetuesday #fearfood #fears #facingfearsformelbourne #goals #anorexianervosarecovery #recovery

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I don’t want to judge people here or for this to sound offensive in anyway but after leaving for a while and then coming back and seeing the same old thing, the same old posts all ‘recovering’, worries, struggles, ups, downs, debates, triggers, numbers, thoughts, disorders, food, body image, ‘look...

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Wow this is actual so amazing!! Nicole you are a guardian angel 😇

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MIND GAMES

I think I like him I’m not sure if I do or whether it’s my social distance and now reappearance from the world that makes me feel for people who are genuinely lovely to me ☺️🙈