Why are you here?

No, seriously, what are you doing here?

[aflo]

Attempting to locate a new Greek restaraunt using my gyroscope

[xtec]

"you're just fucking the hints guy for hints"

-guy who's fucking the save guy for saves

[urmumsbriskit]

Am I missing extremely important context

[xtec]

Sounds like you should've fucked the hint guy

[gorbling]

Im enjoying the longevity of tumblrs recontextualization style of humor. a seemingly innocuous post followed by like "posts that a gnome would make" or like "are you a phone"

[gorbling]

[hapalopus]

[hapalopus]

More from the notes:

[vexwerewolf]

I love this post

[karifaevt]

The horse thinks as it scratches an itch

[spreadassholesdotorg]

[kineticpenguin]

Any setting where the elves have weaker booze than the dwarves isn't committing to the bit

[kineticpenguin]

I mean, we're talking about people whose lifespan is Yes.

"Oh, the weak wine? That is for children. I am two thousand years old, and I daresay one sip from this highball would knock you on your ass for a week."

[kineticpenguin]

Look, there's this weird thing people do with high fantasy where they want elves to be immortal/extremely long-lived snooty aristocrats and also somehow incapacitated by imagining the taste of salt too hard. "Orcs and dwarves have the hardest booze" no they don't, they have work in the morning! In any of these settings, elves would pregame harder than hobbits party and everyone else has shit to do tomorrow.

[onion-souls]

The average high elf builds up the drug tolerance of a mid-70s Hollywood producer and then spends three centuries studying alchemy. While humans seek immortality, the Immortals seek the elusive "philosopher's cocaine."

[phaeton-flier]

Elf Fentanyl works exactly the way cops think human fentanyl does

[sashimi55]

Human bodies are so weird like the upper half consists of every single vital organ and the lower half is legs

[dambiex]

[epicsause-official]

d*mn!

[bewbin]

wait what did nintendo ds stand for? dick sucking??ewwwww. the dsi? dick suck international??? ewwww

[zephyrusphi]

yuo cant say this during plague month

[zephyrusphi]

pride month. pharohs curse got me

[desert-palm]

[captain-acab]

Catch me being a modern-day cyberpirate screaming up alongside you on the 405 in my mad max car with half a bitcoin farm's worth of RAM in the backseat as I hack your Bitchless Towyota™ device and steal the boat you're towing right off the back bumper of the tesla your dad bought you

As i roar into the sunset you have to swerve* to avoid the small flotilla of hacked Towyota devices trailing behind me

(*in fact you do not swerve because you're on hands-free driving to go along with your hitch-free towing so you can only watch helplessly as your tesla mistakes your stolen booty for a small child and accelerates crashing into it and killing you instantly)

[targetedknowledge]

[gcu-sovereign]

Mining skill does kind of determine how much can be extracted from a deposit, but that's because as refining and extraction techniques improve, the share of profitably accessible material increases.

[brazenautomaton]

also the example is accurate

when are you bad at eating? when you are a baby. when you are a baby, you end up wearing a lot more of your food than you end up eating.

[grimoiremanifest]

situation dire. i've been saying 'huzzah', 'alas', and 'tis unironically for like a year now. harmless so far.

however. i hath noticed i now mark half of my goodbyes with 'i must away'. it's spreading

[grimoiremanifest]

Dear Lord please not this post. I promise I'm cooler than this

[maculategiraffe]

it is very instructive to play both silent hill and resident evil videogames because they are very similar except for how silent hill is good and resident evil is stupid. it helps you figure out what is stupid in a video game and what is good

for example, in silent hill games, you are confronted with many weird baroque puzzles you have to solve to proceed, because that is the dark and creepy and confrontational nature of the world you are in. in resident evil games, you are confronted with weird baroque puzzles you have to solve because apparently, separate from and unrelated to the ongoing zombie apocalypse, the raccoon city designers designed the subway station map so that if you insert a red jewel into the correct diamond shaped recess, a drawer opens that contains a live hand grenade

[kumakechi]

original post

[suppermariobroth]

Extremely rare Donkey Kong 64 render of Diddy Kong from behind. This was only ever used once, in the German official guide for the game, and never appeared in any other material, including guides from other regions.

Main Blog | Twitter | Patreon | Small Findings | Source

[fudge-the-horse]

[uknownada]

[phillip-bankss]

grug dont have to change!

[supreme-leader-stoat]

In other news, the Sacred Brotherhood of Roko has announced that the world achieved technological singularity with the activation of the Basilisk_01 superintelligence program earlier this afternoon. When asked by reporters if it had any plans to create an artificial hellscape to torture the digitized souls of nonbelievers who did not contribute to its construction, the artificial intelligence responded, "What the fuck? Who even thinks of something like that?!"

[haunted-skitty-doll]

So I screwed up the proposal minigame

[jan-seni]