【𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐰 & 𝐁𝐨𝐧𝐞】:: 𝐀𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐅𝐨𝐥𝐝
CHAPTER 2:: Lavish Does Not Suit
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If I was going to stay here, I should fix a glaring mistake that was already starting to fester like an open wound..
Each time a maid referred to me as 'Miss Balmont' I had to stop myself from laughing. That persona should have been seen through and it was to some degree but apparently the name was believed to be mine. I needed to clear the air. It had been a day since arriving at the Little Palace and it was most certainly a change from what I was used to.
My things had been put onto a table, I was bathed and given new clothes; a temporary blue kefta to use until the Tailor, a beautiful woman named Genya, brought a new set just for me that the Fabrikators were working on (once my measurements had been taken after the bath).
The first night's sleep had been.. fitful, I wasn't really used to a plush bed nor the softest blankets that I felt I could melt away into.
All in all, 10 out of 10 but I did need to learn just enough to understand what I was and what I could do before I ditched this place. Which brought me back to the issue regarding the identity I had donned. Should I continue to be 'Nelya Balmont' and leave this joint or stick around but under my own name..
A knock at the door broke my musings.
"Miss, it's time for dinner." Right, I was expected to join the main collection for dinner since yesterday I had been brought a meal.
"Give me a moment!" I turned to scramble for my bag, grabbing my lucky ring necklace tucked into my satchel, tugging it on and pinning up my hair. The Tailor Genya was a very pleasant woman, she had come and done my makeup an hour ago and helped me get clean and tended to the cuts and bruises from the Fold incident.
The door opened and I heard it, expecting it to be the maid and I was already clearing my throat, saying over my shoulder, "Sorry, I'll be ready shortl-"
A chuckle, at my back, caused me to turn to see that it was not the maid that had entered. She was standing beyond, in the hallway, just within sight. But who had entered the room was a tall man in a blue kefta with a smirk on his face. "Apologies miss but I'm to be your escort to the dining hall this evening. I hope that doesn't spoil any plans you had."
"Erm, no, the general sent you?" I asked, scanning the man.
He was tall (several inches taller than me, if I was taking that much notice), lean yet muscular around his arms, which the sleeves were rolled up on the kefta a bit, to the elbow to show scarred arms that had seen combat. He had pale skin with a splash of paler freckles along his nose and jawline, clean shaven, brown hair in a ponytail at the base of his military cap. His sharp eagle green eyes were staring pointedly at me and he had such a cheeky smirk on him that I wanted to punch it off his face, it was just unnerving. Like a child seeing a new toy.
"You can stop staring, I know I'm roguishly dashing but I'm taken."
I resisted the urge to snort, merely rolling my eyes as I placed my hands on my hips. "And I'm the general."
"Don't tell him that, he might take offense- someone gunning for his position, I mean." He snarked, flashing sharp teeth like a shark. "Name's Islani, I'm a Squaller." He reached up to tap at the silver detailing on his kefta as if to show it. "You learn what each detail means on the colors, don't worry."
"Will I have one of those? Genya took my measurements for new clothes and since I'm Grisha.. I assume I'll be fitted with a kefta of my own."
Islani nodded before he snickered, gesturing with his head towards the doorway. "Don't worry, we don't bite; well, most won't. You'll fit in with the Grisha as if you were always one; which, you were, by the way. Grisha are born, not made."
I chuckled at his antics, his demeanor taking me back to the early days of meeting Anthic. While the two appearance wise looked different their mannerisms were similar and having something like that near me was already putting me at ease.
But I still couldn't shake the sense that this wasn't right, this wasn't home.. Perhaps it was those foreboding nightmares I'd been having lately that kept me tense and on guard.
I nodded to Islani and the pair of us left my suite to head towards the dining hall. Upon entering it was like night and day, the empty halls giving way to a full room. Grisha sat at the various tables and heads turned to catch a glimpse of the new Grisha present, with her borrowed blue kefta. I just wish they'd stop staring. I scratched at my arm nervously as Islani motioned towards two empty chairs near people who were smirking at us as we approached.
"This is where I sit; with the Squallers, you can sit with-"
"Thank you, Islani, I will take it from here." A smooth voice caused us both to turn, seeing the Black General gliding towards us like air.
"Moi soverenyi*." (my sovereign*) Islani bowed before retreating to his chair, flashing a smirk towards his friends before they all glanced at me.
I gave a half smile before trailing after the Black General towards the back table. He pulled out the seat intended for me and I sat down, watching carefully as he took the other seat, his own, with a measured grace.
"Blue looks odd on you, I'll admit." His soft voice was barely a whisper, as if he hadn't intended to voice this thought.
I snorted. "Please tell me my kefta isn't going to be black to mirror yours or this-" I pinched at my sleeves as if to indicate this distasteful blue.
His lip twitched and thus my prided ability to read whatever expression he was making was thrown out the window. His emotions were intricately hard to read, as if just buried under murky water. Like a muddy pond where unknown fish swam just below the muck.
"No. David is making you a color I think you'll find fitting. I won't spoil the surprise."
"Thank you, how generous of you, sir." A plate was set before both of us and we individually began to pick at them. I was eating far more than him from when I would glance over, during the meal only small banter was really thrown between us.
He would ask small questions; any prior experience with Grisha, any inkling of using my powers before discovery, questions about my parents, my life before, did I have any military training, the like.
I answered them all honestly, I was never one for shadowed truths or half ones.. Despite my gut telling me to be careful, I knew none of this information could actually hurt me. Words only had as much power as you gave them.
"I haven't been completely honest." I started as the end of dinner was rolling forth.
His brow arched and he laughed softly. "I'm sure you had your reasons."
"It wasn't really my intention to mislead.. Well, at least.. Mmm.." I rubbed my jawline, lowering my fingers to stroke the silver chain of the necklace where the treasured ring hung below my kefta. "I should have corrected as soon as I was discovered to not be First Army. I apologize for the ruse." I heaved a sigh, peering across the room towards a wall, though not really looking at it but rather through it as if to somewhere else. "Nelya Balmont isn't my name, sir."
"Oh?" He pursed his lips, as if wanting to ask but allowing me the opportunity to give that information freely.
"Chesna Hayel." I mumbled, fingering the ring now as if reluctant. Well, it seemed I had made the decision to not really care if my name was known. "Though my friends and family always just call me Ches."
"If memory serves me correctly.. Chesna means 'docile' and Hayel means 'excellent'. Old Ravkan." His eyes once again twinkled, as if amusement danced along those inky wells that were supposedly doorways into the soul.
I shrugged my shoulders. "I barely speak Old Ravkan, just that my mala* always said my name was a precious gemstone in the Shu mountains. The Cheslaf, some kind of pale quartz of sorts." (mother*) I shifted my gaze to my food, pushing at the half eaten mush with the fork. "She wasn't Shu but her best friend was."
"Is that what the ring is made of?"
His question threw me off and my gaze flickered back up. His eyes were lowered to where my hand was fiddling with it and I carefully nodded. I lifted the chained ring out so that he could see it; it was a sleek silver ring set with Cheslaf stones. "My mother's wedding ring."
"You've mentioned that your parents died once you entered adulthood, but you never specified how exactly." His tone was conversational but there was a curiosity lingering at the edge, as if trying to be filtered back but slipping through regardless of effort.
I nodded carefully. "Drüskelle, a year ago. While my parents weren't Grisha, the Shu woman I mentioned was. She was a beautiful golden eyed merchant. I always knew she was a Durast, it was hard not to when she'd perform little tricks to cheer me up during harsh winters or smoldering summers, turning small coins into little metal figurines to play with. They.." I inhaled sharply, setting down the fork carefully and pushed the plate away. I put the ring back under my kefta before placing my hands down into my lap and scratching at the kefta I was wearing. "..they had tracked her down to our farm. I had been out in the fields, running between the trees after picking a basket of fruits. I was eager to tell mala* about the flock of deer I had seen. A beautiful ashen doe had grazed close enough I got to touch her side without her running."
A dumb smile flitted across my face before it turned into a sneer.
"Of course I arrived back in the aftermath of it all. Father, strewn in various pieces across the entryway as if he had tried to defend the home before they came in.. Mother, her body hoisted up by a blade embedded in the wall that she basically hung from, her beautiful dress stained and ripped, bruises.." I paused, lifting a hand to touch my neck on the side, my fingers trembling. "..bruises settling into her skin, just here." I tapped my neck anxiously before lowering my hand.
I could tell I had his full attention without even looking. His hand shifted to rest on my knee, offering me some measure of support and comfort.
"And Marti, mother's friend, in the kitchen. I could tell her fight had been the most brutal of them all, she had several swords sticking out from her back where they had stabbed her through her stomach and chest but.. She wasn't even the worst in the kitchen." I closed my eyes, envisioning what I had stumbled upon. A blood bath, to be apt. "Marti must have fought seven men on her own in there, from what I counted. They were all dead, stabbed, dismembered, bloody."
"Loss is always heavy, no matter the time passed." His voice was gentle and for a moment I almost believed he was sympathetic.. but then I saw the hardness in his eyes, the glittering edge that promised retribution of unfathomable anger buried just below the surface.. and I knew I had to be careful. This was a man that, while he knew loss, he knew retaliation very personally.
I moved my knee, watching his hand slide off before he returned it to the table to poke again at his food in silence.
"I lost a lover, someone I cherished." I heard him speak up and my eyes shifted in his direction, scrutinizing his face. "She was killed by men who misunderstood Grisha, men who wanted us to be beneath them, who viewed us as lower than dirt. Men who feared me. She suffered the hatred cast upon a Grisha."
My brows furrowed at his own wound being revealed, as if to garner sympathy and yet.. I knew it wasn't. He was giving what I had given, to balance this exchange.
I nodded my head carefully.
"She was dead before I could save her." He lifted his gaze, angling it towards the wall across the room as if searching for some answer. "I was a much.. weaker man back then, I believed I could negotiate for her life. Much as your mother's friend.. I had to defend myself. Just as you will have to defend yourself."
My eyes narrowed at the prospect of getting into conflict I didn't start or want.
"My name. Just as you've revealed your true name, so too shall you know mine. Very few do. Do not use it lightly." He pushed away his plate and rose to stand. "Enjoy the rest of your meal. I have preparations to make. You'll be meeting the king tomorrow." Before I could bluster some questions he continued, "Genya will answer any questions and Islani will escort you. Goodnight, Miss Hayel."
And with that he swept out of the hall like a ghost, leaving me alone to finish the rest of my meal. I retreated back to my offered suite with the two guards from prior flanking me.
As I pushed the door open I saw the Tailor standing in front of my desk, her hands raising and I could see she had just set down a stack of books. She flashed a smile as I entered, closing the door.
"I didn't know if you were a reader and understand that you only recently discovered that you were Grisha.. So I brought you some material to read up on. These can help with some questions but you can also ask things you do not understand." Her gentle smile caused one to reflect on my face as I walked towards her, ghosting my fingers across the cover of the top one.
"Thank you. You've been very kind since I arrived here. I know it might not be easy.. I'm not exactly experienced in this."
She waved her hand and stifled a giggle. "Fret not. We'll need to work on your manners and appearance before you meet the king and queen, of course, but me being a Tailor will help with the second and as per the first.. Well, practice makes perfect."
I rolled my eyes, openly I might add. "I've always heard stories of the stuffy pompous king and his idle fragile queen."
"Well, you'll be meeting them tomorrow, alongside the general."
"What is he like?" I couldn't stop the question from tumbling out as I fiddled with a strand of snowy hair before brushing it back. Despite not specifying who she knew who I was referring to.
"General Kirigan built the Little Palace to protect us, to protect Grisha.. He is one of the most powerful Grisha to exist, descended from a line of Shadow Summoners. Many fear him, because of what his.. ancestor created."
"His ancestor?" I wasn't overly familiar with Grisha history, only the bare minimum that Marti had ever told me about during her visits. To say I was sheltered would be an understatement.
"The Black Heretic, the one who created the Shadow Fold that split Ravka."
The hair of my arms bristled. "But surely he's not responsible for the sins of his ancestor, it's unfair to treat him as some spooky monster. Unfair to charge him with actions not his own." I bit back, an edge to my tone. As if trying to understand what I was being told.
She shrugged her shoulders gently. "Who am I to say but regardless of my opinion on him, as biased as it is, I'm not the one who holds such an idea of him."
"He leads the Second Army." She said, as if it were as plain as breathing. "He protects Grisha. With him, we do not fear being slaughtered like monsters or tortured like lesser insects nor experimented on like animals."
I didn't even notice the door had opened and softly closed, allowing a third to hear sections of this conversation. "The general is a stern man but he treats us as his own, he protects and guides us, offering us food, shelter, a home, freedom." Islani approached carefully.
The smile returned to my face as I lit up like a firecracker, rushing across the room to hug him. Despite only knowing him for a short time, I'd learned he was a gentle thing, he FELT safe. As if even in this world I was thrust into this was one person I COULD trust.
"Islani!" I quipped his name like I was exasperated but my hug said otherwise as I squeezed him. "Sorry, I'm sure hugs are awkwa-"
I felt him squeezing me back, harder, and his chest vibrating with his laughter. "Nonsense, you rascal."
"You two sure are fast friends." Genya remarked as she eyed the two of us. We'd only just met recently but I knew my gut was right on this. That he was safe.
"Fast friends." I repeated, snickering as I let him go to step back. "I was SUPPOSED to sit with him and his-" My eyes flashed towards him. "-motley crew, I'm sure, but the general pulled me away, requested I sit next to him, for what measure that meant I couldn't elaborate."
"Did he ask you more about your capabilities?" I nodded to his question and so he continued, "You're one of the many legends only theorized so I'm sure he'll want to keep you close, get to know you, see what makes you tick, that sort of thing; it's just how he is, being the general and all that." He made a clicking sound with his tongue before he reached out to ruffle my hair. "But I'm sure he doesn't bite."
"I'm sure he bites a little, he has to. I'm sure he has to keep you lot in shape and in line." I snorted, punching his arm a few times as he took up a defensive stance. "Punks, if they're anything like you." He rolled his eyes at my words. "Speaking of which, you both should also know my real name."
The pair blinked and Islani's hands flinched before he lowered them.
"Something tells me I can trust you both. The general knows it as well." I inhaled before waving at them like an idiot. "My name's Chesna Hayel. I was born and raised Ravkan but don't tell that to my Shu Grisha godmother; Marti was not a stickler for what is standard to any people." Saying her name did cause a pang to cross my heart and anger to momentarily pulse through my veins like molten liquor.
"I'm actually surprised that your godmother, being Grisha, didn't realize you were also one. I'm Genya Safin." Genya said softly as she stepped away to open the box she had brought with her. She began to pick out metal objects of varying colors, as if trying to decide which one to utilize. "What exactly was she, if you don't mind my asking?"
"A Durast, she used to make me little metal animals to play with growing up." Knowing Marti was why I wasn't terrified of Grisha as most non-Grisha were. Despite still being in disbelief, I already knew it felt right. It felt like a part of myself had just been revealed and I SHOULD be paralyzed with fear at it.. but because of that single woman I could embrace it.
"I understand if you'd be terrified-"
"No." I shook my head, cutting off Genya's words and she blinked her eyes as she studied me. "I'm not scared, I'm not angry.. Saints, this feels right, if I'm being honest. But. I also know. I'm not army material." I gestured around at the palace surrounding us and snorted. "A lavish lifestyle like this doesn't fit me; it might not seem lavish but since losing my family, it's been hard to even exist. My only hope is finding my younger brother who went missing. Once I better understand what I am, what I can do and what it all means to be Grisha.. I'll likely be leaving. Please- don't tell the general or anyone this. Saints, I might change my mind during that time period, who knows. Nothing is set in stone so I don't want stuff being said if it's not happening, you know."
The pair exchanged a look before they both nodded. They'd respect my wishes, thankfully.
"So!" I clapped my hands together. "It seems Genya is helping me get ready for tomorrow; meeting the king and all that fun business, Islani is my escort?"
Islani flashed a wicked smirk before he poked at my sides. "We'll have to fatten you up if you're staying, you're far too lanky and thin, you're like a stick."
I swatted his hand before growling at him. "You're one to talk, taller twig."
"I can help you train, it would be fun to face someone that can basically fling rocks."
"Saints, I don't even KNOW what I can even do, I mean.. hearing about it and seeing it during the panic-induced moment are two entirely different things from actually UNDERSTANDING it and doing it on purpose. I'll need to study and train."
He nodded to my words, brushing back some of his fallen brown hair. "I expect you'll be a quick learner."
"Oh you have no idea." I moved to sit at the edge of the bed, hands cupped together in my lap as I leaned forward. "My father once challenged me to learn how to shimmy a tree. I can't tell you how many times I fell, of course, got bruises, cuts and a headache. My father only said it offhandedly like a joke but a challenge is a challenge to a young, impressionable girl. So I snuck out during the evenings, different days, and kept trying until I could climb a tree. My father thought I was just playing in the field but he was walking the treeline when he heard me snickering and looked up to see me almost a yard above him, seated on the branch near the trunk, waving at him like a lunatic."
"What's your favorite shade of green?" Genya's question caused my head to turn and she was holding up several pieces of green jewelry, twisting them so I could see them better. I gestured to the furthest, the forest green, and she nodded as she put away the others. She walked over to an outfit set laid out in a chair and carefully held the ring in one before running her hand down the cloth of the blouse, watching as it turned green upon her ministrations. "You'll wear this outfit tomorrow and afterwards your kefta will be ready."
She smiled at me before she turned, heading out through the door.
This left me with Islani and I already had an inkling that us together would be much like Anthic and I; troublemakers.
We both grinned at the other before we laughed.
"So, you've been here, what, two days?" I heard his question and dipped my head into a nod as he moved to sit down beside me on the bed. "Thoughts so far?"
"Stuffy." I crinkle my nose. "Not in the old fashioned sense but just.. I can feel all the expectations. Responsibility. Severity of what is needed here." My tone was soft but firm, as if trying to highlight that I felt the gravity of what I was saying. I felt exactly what I was saying. "Like we're all cogs in a machine, expected to fluidly churn over and over."
He bumped my shoulder with his and he fiddled with his ring. "It can be. Grisha aren't in the best position but we're certainly safer here than anywhere else. The general cut out a place for us here, to be ourselves, to be safe. It's hard work and he wants us at our best but he means well, even if he has little social awareness that his presence is intimidating, like a serpent in a den of chickens."
I snorted at his comparison. "Yeah, I can see that. He is very intimidating. But I also think.." I pursed my lips, trying to find the right word to convey the impression I got from Aleksander. "..he's like a wounded animal."
Islani arched his brow, angling his head to study me, waiting for me to continue.
"I get the sense that he's very dangerous, not just by reputation but by his capabilities. He's the Shadow Summoner, the leader of the Second Army.. a powerful Grisha." I leaned back on my arms, peering up at the banister of the bed, eyes searching the pale cream color I saw. "I can see the scars just below the surface.. His piercing gaze that says 'don't get close to me', even without seeing how he behaves, as if he keeps everyone at arm's length, sharing just the bare minimum. Only a wounded animal, someone that's been hurt over and over or severely, does that.."
"Don't tell him any of this, he'll just call you a fool I'm sure." Islani bumped my shoulder again. "You should read a bit then get some rest, you'll have a big day tomorrow. And please, don't be sassy with the king and queen. As troublesome as they are, we want them to approve of your presence, not deem you a threat. So, best behavior!" He patted my back before he moved to stand, striding towards the door. "I'll be here when it's time to head to the palace."
I smiled at his retreating back as he slipped out from my room, leaving me alone to my thoughts. I got up, walked to the desk, grabbed a book and sat down, flipping open the pages to skim the first one.
Ah, some saint. Fun reading material. I cupped my cheek, leaned against my desk and for several hours just read, first this book, then the next. Eventually drowsiness claimed me and I laid down, falling asleep to the oblivion of dreamless darkness.
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