Michael - 25 - Learning How To Be Queer

Fuck You Christopher Columbus, but Bless you Sam Smith

[respectfulmemes]

[picsthatmakeyougohmm]

hmmm

[cassassbutts]

Great date idea:

Go to a bookstore with your date and go to the romance section, pick a book and flip to a random page. Whoever gets the dirtiest page wins, then continue reading dirty pages of books to each other.

[firefly-flashes]

I’d totally do this! Bonus points if the writing is unintentionally bad/hilariously over the top and you read it without breaking up in laughter. Extra bonus points if you help me write our own even filthier smut at home later.

[eclecstasies]

Do it at the library, with voices hushed and nestled closely together. Maybe she sits between his legs, her back to his front, as they read the words together. He whispers into her ear, and she resists the urge to close her eyes. He makes her hold the book, turn the pages, then sends one stealthy hand down her waistband. Instructs her to read aloud, while he plays with her, strums her like an instrument, pulling back when she was close and pressing urgently whenever she managed an entire sentence without a breathy gasp.

[firefly-flashes]

Oooh… I like this idea!!!

[eclectic-peanut]

Grrrrr…

[justwannabea-littleslut]

Ok seriously this is far and away the best idea I’ve ever read

[yeah-thats-not-it]

who wants to go on a cute date where I make you do degrading things

[therealrashid]

it’s so insidious that priyanka chopra can straight up advocate for bombing kashmir and pakistan and label it “patriotism” with her bitchy clap back at a distressed activist trying to hold her accountable and being silenced, and meanwhile shitty uk tabloids be like

the disconnect is unreal. the fundamental lack of understanding of the situation in south asia right now and the way (this brand of) western media is so desperate to maintain the status quo of keeping celebrity culture up on its pedastal that encouraging nuclear warfare against innocent and oppressed civilians, like, doesn’t matter at all

[therealrashid]

her specific jump from bollywood to hollywood has given her a unique voice and position that a lot of westerners simply do not understand. in india, she’s from the elite. she’s born and bred into the highest class of bollywood royalty, her family history is tied to the military which constantly seeks to go to war against pakistan as well as oppressing the muslim community and other religious minirities in india. her ties to the disgustingly rich ambanis who have made their billions off the backs of poor indians and have terrible business practices, and the prime minister modi who is a staunch hindu nationalist who believes in and has been consistently making moves towards expelling all religious minorities from the country - not exactly woke kween behaviour

relocating to america means all these white people writing think pieces about how hashtag woke it is that this brown woman, from an oppressed minority, is the lead in her own tv show. she’s constantly asked about representation and taking up space in the industry as a brown woman. but that’s all meaningless coming from her - she’s never lived as an oppressed minority in america or anywhere, but it’s allowed her to co opt a #movement of #wokeness that the west loves. it means that her rampant blatant and dangerous islamophobia and imperialism is allowed to go unchecked because there’s no understanding at all of where she comes from and what she stands for in India.

it’s fully our responsibility as desi diaspora to speak out on this to educate fellow westerners, and to uplift the voices of desi activists in the homeland speaking out about what’s happening right now. i know it seems trivial in the face of what’s actually happening in kashmir, but i think perception is everything and in the west if this one singularly famous south asian person trivialises the matter without being called out, it really does shape how people here see the issue

[cephalophor]

The first funny bitch was Cain, who straight up lied to God after killing his brother.

[nakedinasnowsuit]

God: where’s Abel?

Cain: fuck if I know??? I’m not in charge of him

[thewitchway]

It is TRAGIC that you can’t read this in the original Hebrew.

God:  Where’s the Sheepkeeper?

Cain: Do I LOOK like a Brotherkeeper? 

[careful-crow]

God: hey where’s Abel???

Cain:

[popokko-deactivated20210315]

it’s really august huh… like 8 whole months have passed……….. disgusting

[00incognegro-deactivated2021041]

Just sayin

[thisiseverydayracism]

What’s happened in Flint is a crime against humanity.

[mysharona1987]

[2000sgay]

ummmm why does this only have 1k notes 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

[beachgaysandtheys]

Since there’s no links, here’s an article from USA Today with footage, and here’s a CNN follow-up from a day later stating that the officer retired before disciplinary action could be taken.

[afeelgoodblog]

[cheaphalloweencostume]

[historical-nonfiction]

Bugs Bunny accidentally transformed the word nimrod into a synonym for idiot because nobody got a joke where he sarcastically compared Elmer Fudd to the Biblical figure Nimrod, a mighty hunter.

[omegajako]

Etymology is ridiculous and terrifying sometimes

[garbage-empress]

Bugs Bunny is more powerful than God

[libertarirynn-deactivated202006]

He also solidified the idea of rabbits loving carrots when carrots actually carry very little nutritional value for rabbits. The funniest part of that is that the original joke was a reference to a Clark Gable film where Gable munches on a carrot, it was never meant to imply that rabbits love carrots. The Clark Gable reference would’ve been obvious to audiences in the 40s but it has been pretty much lost to time.

[celtic-pyro-deactivated20230725]

Bugs Bunny has too much power and should be feared.

[mapfail]

Thousands were printed before someone noticed it…

[thenatsdorf]

Cat brings her kittens to human’s bed as sign of trust.

[impling]

“is WARM here. is SOFT. is SAFE. Large friend who brings food spends many hours here. is BEST place for babies.”

[endlessnightarts]

BUT DOES RUNNING WATER KILL THEM OR NOT??!

[rainbowravioli]

#I can’t believe this is a real scene#it reads like one of those Incorrect Quotes things as a joke#except it’s real

[liberalsarecool]

Tax the rich. You are not the rich.

[beyonslayed]

What's that quote about Americans seeing themselves as temporarily embarrassed millionaires

[gracefulbabe]

“Socialism never took root in America because the poor see themselves not as an exploited proletariat but as temporarily embarrassed millionaires.”

[zeromayhem]

[carnival-phantasm]

If you were in charge of Brazil, what would be your policies?

everybody has to come to brazil

What if I don’t?

[carnival-phantasm]

[carnival-phantasm]

Let this be a warning.

[veryfunnymemes]

[hesperocyon-lesbian]

Seriously tho as someone who put literal years of effort into creating a Wikipedia hoax it’s basically impossible to get away with for more than like an hour. They’re fucking vigilant. I tried to build up trust by doing legit editing but my account got reviewed cause I approved a page that mismeasured the size of a ship by a few centimeters