All of the facts and feelings above are valid and important, but as usual I have a weird take that has nothing to do with McCain specifically.
There’s a real lesson in what’s going down. I remember how I felt in 2008 so well. While I’m not going to make any toasts to the guy now, it’s definitely true that my feelings (not thoughts, just emotions) towards him, like OP’s, are more positive than they were in 2008 (remember, that’s a VERY low bar). The thing about life is that you can be shitty to people, let them down, even hurt them for years. But if you show them an act of kindness (or at least they perceive it as such), it can change their whole perspective on your whole life. If you happened to step in at a time when it’s very emotional for/important to them, they will outright stand with you.
And at least here in the US (can’t speak for other cultures), people looooooove a redemption story. Especially if someone they see as “wrong” makes a change that’s “right.”
Now, I’m not saying this is a wonderful thing. Honestly, I get kinda tired with how fickle mainstream society is, and how quickly it forgets the past. But it’s a fact that this is a thing that happens with humans, like it or not.
I really just wish more people who behave badly and hurt others would see examples like McCain and realize that they can do this, too. Sure, it’ll be infuriating on some level for me to see people on TV praising people who I know were jerks, but since I have to live in a world with dangerous, hurtful people, I’d love it if they did nice things for people, even if the reasons are cynical. Because I always try to follow the example of my role model, Frederick Douglass, who said, “I would unite with anyone to do right and with no one to do wrong.”
I don’t believe there’s such a thing as “good people” or “bad people.” I used to, once. Now I think there are people, all of whom do good behaviors and bad behaviors. Whether behaviors are good or bad depends on perspective, but that’s a whole kettle of fish. In general, people mostly agree on basic things like, “poisoning children is bad!” and “equal human rights are good!” (maybe that last one is more controversial than I thought).
The ratio of good/bad behaviors someone does, and the extremity of good/badness doesn’t determine whether you’re perfect or a monster, but it does determine whether you let that person be a part of your life (personally or via election).
Rather than label someone good or bad, it’s so much easier to say, “He did horrible things X, Y, and Z, and he never really took responsibility for it, so I don’t respect him much. But I did really enjoy when he did A!”
I feel like I’m in boring lecture mode when I talk like this, but it’s increasingly obvious that our tendency to want to declare every person (especially every famous person) as GOOD or BAD, and thus approve of or condemn *everything that person has every said or done” wholesale is really hurting society.
Imagine if people could vote for Trump and say, “but you know, I really do hate that racist dogwhistles he uses” or vote for Democratic candidates but also call them out for taking identity politics too far, or expanding the drug war in counterproductive ways, or supporting the war in Iraq, or... I’m just listing angry letters I wrote to my Senator over the last decade. Imagine if people could empathize with and feel compassion for people without endorsing what they did.
Again, that may sound obvious, but this is something I experience every day:
“X is a monster because he does drugs instead of getting a job and paying child support!”
“Well, he really should pay, but he has horrible PTSD from his last tour in Afghanistan, it’s been tough for him to stay sober, and last week his buddy committed suicide.”
“Oh, so that makes it okay to abandon your children!”
I’m always baffled by this reaction, even though I should see it coming by now. I never said anything close to it’s okay. A guy can be a non-monster veteran who deserve compassion AND really needs to take care of those damn kids all at the same time. In fact, receiving compassion is usually the first step toward “bad people” turning their lives around. Yes, that’s right, the condemnatory toward a behavior can actually make that behavior worse! And labeling people as monsters seems to hurt the one doing the labeling, too. If nothing else, one creates a world of terror around oneself.
I’m just going to keep posting variations of this on random parts of the internet for the rest of my life, because I have no idea how to help people overcome this common and damaging delusion. Sorry for derailing the thread with a crazy tangent. I just... have to keep trying to articulate this until I get a good (shorter) summary to whip out in arguments.
