sporatic

oh you can just push that stuff off the seat ... yeah just anywhere sorry i havent cleaned in a while haha.. .

[hoggingmycrank]

in the club overalls hiked up to my nipples dropping it low to the oompa-loompa song

[hoggingmycrank]

white-knuckled handjob from my wide-eyed and shaking Anxiety Twink

[undying-princess]

insidejob from a girl with huge 9/11's 😳

[markovchaingang]

i'm sorry, you want a what? a "paintjob"? look dude, this is a garage. we don't do happy endings. and even if we did that doesn't sound very pleasurable

[mctreeleth]

they need to make a menstrual cup with a tap on the end. vampire fratboys should be able to do a keg stand off my vagina.

[mctreeleth]

thanks for the advice tumblr but this post doesn't actually need to be seen i'm just trying to unburden my soul of it like it's some sort of dark passenger i need to exorcise out

[hoggingmycrank]

Kirkland brand weed cart family sized case of popcorn lung

[feldfrog]

Mark Cuban: Your fly is down

Me: Good evening sharks. My invention is pants where that’s okay.

[hoggingmycrank]

i like my men like i like my women.... indistinguishable

[cruel-hiraeth]

thinking with my pussy? call that cuntemplation

[maroon-drake]

Trying to draw a soft dick from reference, buy I'm just not quick enough every time

[hoggingmycrank]

ordering off-menu at the funeral home they keep the good stuff in the back

[hoggingmycrank]

no i do not have an "Anxiety Disorder", i simply understand that there are fell omens for all those with eyes to see them

[flowerbleedme]

Things have learned to walk that ought to Freak it

[hoggingmycrank]

open mouth chewing hardboiled eggs is such coworker behaviour

[hoggingmycrank]

just had my first huff of actual honest-to-god springtime air and remembered that there was a soul in this limbering husk

[hoggingmycrank]

a glass, three-ring binder, filled with polaroids of various rocks with their weights and approximate dimensions written on the back

[hoggingmycrank]

becoming the most functional alchoholic; a title which is both normal to want and possible to achieve