Just my (mostly) Apollo thoughts!

they/them, masc

[hogoflight]

Pinned post

Hey! This is just where I post stuff when I can about the Greek pantheon (mostly Apollo)!

Although I personally am very interested in Ancient Greek religion, which does includes Greek mythology but particularly the historical context and cultural practices surrounding it, these thoughts are not about Apollo as the Deity or as Ancient Gods part of a religion, I’m just having fun with how he and other deities could be represented as characters in hypothetical stories including them. A lot of these align w Trials of Apollo bc I like the Trials of Apollo very much ^_^

lmk if I should tag anything!

tagged warnings (to block):

#gang mention

[hogoflight]

Got tomodachi life and added meg and lesterpollo (amalgamation of lester, Apollo, and modern au Apollo/lester) and this is their first conversation.

[hogoflight]

ok ok. TOA swap au. you see this and agree. Apollo's just Some Guy who's an asshole and Meg is some sort of Nimona-esque figure but it's STILL the Trials of Apollo so this Some (MIDDLE AGED) Guy figure is going through like seven SAW traps back to back accompanied by this strange immortal little girl who randomly decided to tag along (?)

She's still being manipulated by the mortal Triumvirate. They're going after Apollo because he's still the heir to his father's money and Commodus, Nero and Caligula all have individual beef with him (they want to fuck him / be him so bad). Don't even worry about what Olympus could mean in this context

Artemis is just Like That. She's so uncharismatic and passionate and steadfast and headstrong that she loops back around to being incredibly charismatic Which could mean nothing. whatever she's got going on is incredibly legal.

Apollo does sort of in fact end up killing two CEOs and one mafia boss But the media assigned him the third CEO and that's four people total Which means nothing.

[hogoflight]

Can't decide the role camp half blood plays in this. on the one hand it would be very ominous for it to indeed still be there and the mystery behind What The Hell It Is in this context could be so interesting and uncomfortable (actual cult? a camp where parents know each other other? why? are they in a cult? why do they know about corporate goings on and fighting against them etc. etc.) but also holy shit it would be so funny if no one knew what the hell was going on before Apollo visited them. can you imagine. "Holy shit hi dad. i havent seen you in person since i was three whole years old. you walked into the woods of the summer camp i work at and passed out in a river. Fucking Nero CEO of Triumvirate Holdings is here and trying to burn down a-- sacred grove? National park grove? Your sister likes it? I have an aunt? Ok. Um could you get your... cousin? away from the flowers? she's arguing with them and refuses to stop until you come see her and i'm getting really worried about her. Ok. While you’re here can we bond over-- you have to go find another Triumvirate CEO? its-- you're in danger? you're being hunted for sport? ok."

[hogoflight]

would love to elaborate on the Meg situation. she's pretty much like herself as a demigod but immortal and indeed like five thousand years old but she is not telling anyone ANYTHING anytime she talks about herself its genuinely nuts. Apollo can't tell when she's lying. hes also deeply upset at the amount of culture and life she missed out on and this becomes significantly sadder throughout as we recognise that she's been abused manipulated learned helplessness kept for centuries. sort of giving Omelas child and Nimona. She's supposed to age but hasn't in thousands of years and it is the Triumvirate's fault. They are doing something to her and she doesn't know what it is and she doesn't want to try knowing because she can't get out of that situation anyway. (this clears up surprisingly quickly after being buddies with Apollo because that's a guy who is Very Very Vocal whilst being panicky about trying to get away from the Triumvirate and he is technically succeeding. and hes very outwardly adamant that he's going to Make It. even if its denial for him it still impacts her. he is relentlessly and unequivocally kind to her even in the midst of being horribly selfish.)

she really doesn't like the idea of having a dad anymore so even though Apollo is absolutely filling that role as a middle aged mother hen of an absent dad she insists on calling him her older brother. part of Apollo's development towards being a better father is projecting this onto Meg and realising that he should in fact be a father to his children (Meg's lack of Father has impacted her badly and he really likes being a dad actually and realises it's very easy for him to not treat kids the way his father treated him etc.)

They bond over cicadas.

[hogoflight]

I’ve always felt like many ‘incorrect quotes’ of whatever commonality and accuracy never really quite fit for Apollo even if its technically completely in character And I realised I think I that it’s because Even if that’s true in his head, and that is what he’s feeling, He Would Never Actually Say That. Or at least say it like that (in a jovial yet honest way).

Like those could very much be what his actual feelings are But such a key aspect of him is that he just doesn’t admit it like that! And I could be wrong but even in TOA when he does finally admit to his feelings I feel like he doesn’t really do it jokingly? It’s denial or unabashed honesty. And even when he does do it jokingly, the joke isn’t “haha I’m currently feeling like this!” It’s “haha I would stereotypically do that” or “haha I’ve acted like that in the past”. Which is such a fun thing to work with. (Or maybe he would say those but only when he’s lying about it?? Or it’s off because he has his own distinct speech patterns? In my mind the closest correct version of an Apollo expressing his thoughts and feelings incorrect quote I can think of would be any quote at all, but in a thought bubble in brackets and faded out being thought by a jpeg of an early Lester (enough distance from what he considers as himself) thinking it in another thought bubble and faded out (not really thinking about it).) Does this make sense

[hogoflight]

Actually incorrect me. Real answer is they’re too cool for him. he’s either 1) lying about it 2) ignoring it 3) being unabashedly honest about his emotions in serious tone 4) being passive aggressive (in relation to how others make him feel) or 5) the jokey way he says it is bone deep lame and cringe.

edit: THIS IS A PERFECT EXAMPLE OF WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT:

This is literally all he does throughout the entire series but he would never come close to saying this in a way that could admit it! unless ☝🏽 he is being deeply earnest or saying it in a much lamer way, neither of which are the words being said in this post! Does this make sense

[hogoflight]

I’ve always felt like many ‘incorrect quotes’ of whatever commonality and accuracy never really quite fit for Apollo even if its technically completely in character And I realised I think I that it’s because Even if that’s true in his head, and that is what he’s feeling, He Would Never Actually Say That. Or at least say it like that (in a jovial yet honest way).

Like those could very much be what his actual feelings are But such a key aspect of him is that he just doesn’t admit it like that! And I could be wrong but even in TOA when he does finally admit to his feelings I feel like he doesn’t really do it jokingly? It’s denial or unabashed honesty. And even when he does do it jokingly, the joke isn’t “haha I’m currently feeling like this!” It’s “haha I would stereotypically do that” or “haha I’ve acted like that in the past”. Which is such a fun thing to work with. (Or maybe he would say those but only when he’s lying about it?? Or it’s off because he has his own distinct speech patterns? In my mind the closest correct version of an Apollo expressing his thoughts and feelings incorrect quote I can think of would be any quote at all, but in a thought bubble in brackets and faded out being thought by a jpeg of an early Lester (enough distance from what he considers as himself) thinking it in another thought bubble and faded out (not really thinking about it).) Does this make sense

[hogoflight]

ok ok. TOA swap au. you see this and agree. Apollo's just Some Guy who's an asshole and Meg is some sort of Nimona-esque figure but it's STILL the Trials of Apollo so this Some (MIDDLE AGED) Guy figure is going through like seven SAW traps back to back accompanied by this strange immortal little girl who randomly decided to tag along (?)

She's still being manipulated by the mortal Triumvirate. They're going after Apollo because he's still the heir to his father's money and Commodus, Nero and Caligula all have individual beef with him (they want to fuck him / be him so bad). Don't even worry about what Olympus could mean in this context

Artemis is just Like That. She's so uncharismatic and passionate and steadfast and headstrong that she loops back around to being incredibly charismatic Which could mean nothing. whatever she's got going on is incredibly legal.

Apollo does sort of in fact end up killing two CEOs and one mafia boss But the media assigned him the third CEO and that's four people total Which means nothing.

[hogoflight]

Can't decide the role camp half blood plays in this. on the one hand it would be very ominous for it to indeed still be there and the mystery behind What The Hell It Is in this context could be so interesting and uncomfortable (actual cult? a camp where parents know each other other? why? are they in a cult? why do they know about corporate goings on and fighting against them etc. etc.) but also holy shit it would be so funny if no one knew what the hell was going on before Apollo visited them. can you imagine. "Holy shit hi dad. i havent seen you in person since i was three whole years old. you walked into the woods of the summer camp i work at and passed out in a river. Fucking Nero CEO of Triumvirate Holdings is here and trying to burn down a-- sacred grove? National park grove? Your sister likes it? I have an aunt? Ok. Um could you get your... cousin? away from the flowers? she's arguing with them and refuses to stop until you come see her and i'm getting really worried about her. Ok. While you’re here can we bond over-- you have to go find another Triumvirate CEO? its-- you're in danger? you're being hunted for sport? ok."

[annabelle--cane]

stop. analyse that text through the lens of its author's intentions and original historical context. okay now take the author out back and kill them dead and analyse that text as though it were published by your mutual yesterday and is in direct conversation with the contemporary discourse that's most relevant to your life. okay now pick your favorite angle of interpretation and come up with the strongest possible argument against it. now imagine that the text is your best friend and that it means you well and that you naturally give it every benefit of the doubt because you're on its side and you want the best for it. now imagine that the text wants you dead and it'll eat you if you don't eat it first. now pretend that you found this text locked away in a cave with no evidence of when or where it came from and you have to divine its meaning solely through its internal coherence and nothing else. okay now address the elephant in the room aspect of the text you've been ignoring because you find it boring or confusing or uncomfortable and become the number one expert on it. now spend forty minutes assigning all the characters dnd classes with at least three sentences of reasoning each. okay now do the cha cha slide.

[hogoflight]

Writing notes on the mirror a sound of mind Apollo isn’t random of actions nor impulsive he is very very responsible and scolds people like a mother and is passive aggressive the way an exhausted parent would be and rambles like an old man he does not struggle with lack of words he arguably has awkward speech patterns that have to do with using exactly the perfect words & makes-sure-that-everything-he-says-has-a-purpose autism or learning-English-as-an-additional-language speech patterns he expresses his chimp-brain anger with topical violent threats in his head and human-brain anger with condemnations of your actions he’s a critic through and through he is mentally ill and repressed neurodivergence the way my middle-aged mother is mentally ill and repressed neurodivergence The random bullshit go and biting and sounds is all Meg mannerisms minus the embarrassment & repentance I must Make her weirder Now.

[hogoflight]

Hoh my god I’m genuinely on the precipice of losing it a little. I cannot believe this isn’t a thing. the themes of TOA Apollo is so transfem coded. That’s the whole story. my mind is completely blown.

[hogoflight]

(DISCLAIMER i am not transfem myself!) LIKE. like. the 'gods are powerful and don't show emotion and Can't Change and I am a god so I can't change and I am not a mortal so I Can’t Change' and the way he puts on a farce / over-exaggerates himself to try and own this especially when he becomes mortal. Which we all know is deep deep denial. his repeated 'i can never relate to this and i don't feel sympathy for these mortals!' (he is! he does! the process of toa isn't him learning to do that (have sympathy for mortals which he believes gods cannot do & ‘CHANGE’) it's him learning to accept that he does and to begin acting on it! To him, he’s sort of learning how gods do change and also relearning who he truly is as a god. Which could mean nothing)

the strange identity fixation throughout where he's like 'i'm not Apollo anymore... I'm Lester (disparagingly, due to taught beliefs about mortal being a bad thing to be and also Guy That Can Change)...' whilst also being like 'I have to become Apollo. I will be a god.' but as a reference to him actually becoming Who He Truly Is rather than what he thinks he should be based on how he's acted in the past (cruel and expressing anger through violence and taking advantage of his power and social position which what his impression of the ideal of His godliness is supposed to be WHICH CAN I ALSO ADD WAS LITERALLYYYY SEEN AS THE IDEAL MASCULINE FORM and associating it at every turn — except for past TTT? — with Being (Acting as) A God. which totally has noooo similarities to how someone who doesn't want to be a man & hates their masculinity would view it and their past actions no sirree.) Like It's the image of how he was in the past WHO I WOULD LIKE TO REITERATE WAS CONSIDERED THE 'IDEAL FOR YOUNG MEN' 'THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MAN' vs him accepting Who He Is Now. being Apollo and a God but as Himself. but a mysterious and more honest change has occurred. Which could mean nothing

his promises to be better, the road ahead being like 'i have to be Apollo. I must do better.' rather than 'now I'm Apollo!' more as a 'i must actively put in the effort to self-actualise and realise myself as [my new identity] and perform it with others to feel like myself. i choose to put effort into finding out how i'm me rather than pretend I’m who i ‘used to be’ / thought i was / tried to convince myself i was (I WOULD LIKE TO REITERATE A THIRRRRRD TIME THE IDEAL YOUNG MALE YOUTH IN FORM AND SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITIES)

also in general his conflation of acting & performing as “Apollo” (“PARAGON OF MASCULINITY!!!!!”) and simply being Apollo reminds me v much of how trans people see and talk about gender when they don’t quite know how to verbalise the distinction yet

And like. everyone around him in the series is going through Changes. and exploring how that changes their identity. piper as herself without jason, crest as himself pursuing what he loves instead of the (warlike and violent...) expectation of how he's 'supposed' to be and want to be, meg learning who she is without Nero (and an implied learning how she likes to dress with Nero dressing her up completely differently in TON!), the gods at the end all acting differently.

even on a more superficial level! Like! We've established hopefully Apollo's whole deal with No Longer Being his past, PHYSICAL REPRESENTATION OF THE IDEAL YOUNG MAN IN HIS SOCIETY, self, and learning to accept that he's Different now, with still some not-quite-worked-through thoughts about change being more of a mortal thing? but also he literally shed his bodily shell in the pool of genderless/fem everything and reformed it on his own terms (not on the terms of the people who created him and deemed him the THE QUINTESSENTIAL MALE YOUTH) after promising to follow through on promises that were worth making. Which could mean nothing

and to top off. Don’t get me wrong. Throughout the series Apollo does literally seem very comfortable and confident in his identity as a queer man. It’s part of why it’s so awesome. But I ask you. Who would Apollo be if not a contradiction? Not Apollo that's for sure!

[395nm]

Fuck Meyer-Briggs whatever typology. This INTFP shit is only for redditors up their own asses to substitute for a personality. Use my new typology instead!

Your ideal environment is:

Hot/Cold

Wet/Dry

Bright/Dark

Loud/Quiet

[hogoflight]

Writing notes on the mirror a sound of mind Apollo isn’t random of actions nor impulsive he is very very responsible and scolds people like a mother and is passive aggressive the way an exhausted parent would be and rambles like an old man he does not struggle with lack of words he arguably has awkward speech patterns that have to do with using exactly the perfect words & makes-sure-that-everything-he-says-has-a-purpose autism or learning-English-as-an-additional-language speech patterns he expresses his chimp-brain anger with topical violent threats in his head and human-brain anger with condemnations of your actions he’s a critic through and through he is mentally ill and repressed neurodivergence the way my middle-aged mother is mentally ill and repressed neurodivergence The random bullshit go and biting and sounds is all Meg mannerisms minus the embarrassment & repentance I must Make her weirder Now.

[hogoflight]

Hoh my god I’m genuinely on the precipice of losing it a little. I cannot believe this isn’t a thing. the themes of TOA Apollo is so transfem coded. That’s the whole story. my mind is completely blown.

[hogoflight]

(DISCLAIMER i am not transfem myself!) LIKE. like. the 'gods are powerful and don't show emotion and Can't Change and I am a god so I can't change and I am not a mortal so I Can’t Change' and the way he puts on a farce / over-exaggerates himself to try and own this especially when he becomes mortal. Which we all know is deep deep denial. his repeated 'i can never relate to this and i don't feel sympathy for these mortals!' (he is! he does! the process of toa isn't him learning to do that (have sympathy for mortals which he believes gods cannot do & ‘CHANGE’) it's him learning to accept that he does and to begin acting on it! To him, he’s sort of learning how gods do change and also relearning who he truly is as a god. Which could mean nothing)

the strange identity fixation throughout where he's like 'i'm not Apollo anymore... I'm Lester (disparagingly, due to taught beliefs about mortal being a bad thing to be and also Guy That Can Change)...' whilst also being like 'I have to become Apollo. I will be a god.' but as a reference to him actually becoming Who He Truly Is rather than what he thinks he should be based on how he's acted in the past (cruel and expressing anger through violence and taking advantage of his power and social position which what his impression of the ideal of His godliness is supposed to be WHICH CAN I ALSO ADD WAS LITERALLYYYY SEEN AS THE IDEAL MASCULINE FORM and associating it at every turn — except for past TTT? — with Being (Acting as) A God. which totally has noooo similarities to how someone who doesn't want to be a man & hates their masculinity would view it and their past actions no sirree.) Like It's the image of how he was in the past WHO I WOULD LIKE TO REITERATE WAS CONSIDERED THE 'IDEAL FOR YOUNG MEN' 'THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MAN' vs him accepting Who He Is Now. being Apollo and a God but as Himself. but a mysterious and more honest change has occurred. Which could mean nothing

his promises to be better, the road ahead being like 'i have to be Apollo. I must do better.' rather than 'now I'm Apollo!' more as a 'i must actively put in the effort to self-actualise and realise myself as [my new identity] and perform it with others to feel like myself. i choose to put effort into finding out how i'm me rather than pretend I’m who i ‘used to be’ / thought i was / tried to convince myself i was (I WOULD LIKE TO REITERATE A THIRRRRRD TIME THE IDEAL YOUNG MALE YOUTH IN FORM AND SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITIES)

also in general his conflation of acting & performing as “Apollo” (“PARAGON OF MASCULINITY!!!!!”) and simply being Apollo reminds me v much of how trans people see and talk about gender when they don’t quite know how to verbalise the distinction yet

And like. everyone around him in the series is going through Changes. and exploring how that changes their identity. piper as herself without jason, crest as himself pursuing what he loves instead of the (warlike and violent...) expectation of how he's 'supposed' to be and want to be, meg learning who she is without Nero (and an implied learning how she likes to dress with Nero dressing her up completely differently in TON!), the gods at the end all acting differently.

even on a more superficial level! Like! We've established hopefully Apollo's whole deal with No Longer Being his past, PHYSICAL REPRESENTATION OF THE IDEAL YOUNG MAN IN HIS SOCIETY, self, and learning to accept that he's Different now, with still some not-quite-worked-through thoughts about change being more of a mortal thing? but also he literally shed his bodily shell in the pool of genderless/fem everything and reformed it on his own terms (not on the terms of the people who created him and deemed him the THE QUINTESSENTIAL MALE YOUTH) after promising to follow through on promises that were worth making. Which could mean nothing

and to top off. Don’t get me wrong. Throughout the series Apollo does literally seem very comfortable and confident in his identity as a queer man. It’s part of why it’s so awesome. But I ask you. Who would Apollo be if not a contradiction? Not Apollo that's for sure!

[hogoflight]

fuck it there's some absolute bangers of transfem Lester fics / analysises im going to post my shitty long draft

[hogwings]

Chapters: 2/? Fandom: The Trials of Apollo - Rick Riordan, Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Apollo & Meg McCaffrey, Apollo/Latricia Lake Characters: Apollo (Percy Jackson), Meg McCaffrey, Latricia Lake Additional Tags: will update tags as i go ofc, Police, Fluff and Crack, ToApril 2026 (Percy Jackson), Not Beta Read Summary:

what it says on the tin!

[hogoflight]

Writing notes on the mirror a sound of mind Apollo isn’t random of actions nor impulsive he is very very responsible and scolds people like a mother and is passive aggressive the way an exhausted parent would be and rambles like an old man he does not struggle with lack of words he arguably has awkward speech patterns that have to do with using exactly the perfect words & makes-sure-that-everything-he-says-has-a-purpose autism or learning-English-as-an-additional-language speech patterns he expresses his chimp-brain anger with topical violent threats in his head and human-brain anger with condemnations of your actions he’s a critic through and through he is mentally ill and repressed neurodivergence the way my middle-aged mother is mentally ill and repressed neurodivergence The random bullshit go and biting and sounds is all Meg mannerisms minus the embarrassment & repentance I must Make her weirder Now.

[hogoflight]

Hoh my god I’m genuinely on the precipice of losing it a little. I cannot believe this isn’t a thing. the themes of TOA Apollo is so transfem coded. That’s the whole story. my mind is completely blown.

[hogoflight]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Chapters: 1/? Fandom: The Trials of Apollo - Rick Riordan, Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Apollo & Meg McCaffrey Characters: Apollo (Percy Jackson), Meg McCaffrey Additional Tags: will update tags as i go ofc, Police, Fluff and Crack, ToApril 2026 (Percy Jackson) Summary:

what it says on the tin!

[hogoflight]

Chapters: 4/? Fandom: The Trials of Apollo - Rick Riordan, Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Apollo & Meg McCaffrey, Apollo (Percy Jackson)/Original Male Character(s), Apollo (Percy Jackson) & Original Male Character(s) Characters: Apollo (Percy Jackson), Meg McCaffrey, Original Male Character(s), Original Female Character(s) Additional Tags: historical fiction - Freeform, Historical Accuracy, Attempted, to be clear, Slow Burn, Pining, Religion, References to Ancient Greek Religion & Lore, Medieval, References to Medieval Literature, 12th Century, will add more tags as story progresses, ignoring Rick Riordan’s whole ‘the Greek gods followed “western civilisation” after it became part of the Roman Empire’ thing because EEEYIKES!, rating is just to be very safe I ought to tag this as Gen, Apollo’s taking great care not to be inappropriate or to swear!, But he’s talking about one of his love interests so he may get a lil ‘too much’ occasionally y’know, TRULY awful haiku, Apollo is a lovestruck fool, Knights - Freeform, Crack Treated Seriously, accidental misgendering, Apollo-centric (Percy Jackson), updates are sporadic but I intend to finish this dw, Dubious Historical Accuracy, Alternate Universe - Historical, Except it’s not an au bc it’s just in the past?? Maybe it is bc of the inevitable historical inaccuracy. Summary:

After yet another crusade meddling about with the medieval Roman Empire, Apollo decides to pay a visit to Ireland out of spite and finds himself significantly more invested (in someone) than he thought he would be.

Or, the Apollo swoons for a knight fic! And I’m bad at summaries!

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

I won't lie to you I AM a little fond of those "mortal au poseidon is a millionaire and finds out about percy and takes custody of him" fics but they're always like sally was murdered by gabe or died in an accident or something equally sad. I want one that still keeps the base plot of the lightning thief. just imagine how hilarious it would be if random rich guy poseidon turns on his tv one day and sees that 1) the woman he cheated on his wife with is missing in a mysterious car explosion and 2) her 12 year old who is being labeled a domestic terrorist looks exactly like him. the olympian family pr firm is going fucking CRAZY.

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

imagine. your wife and kids are finding out you had an affair from CNN. your ex's husband is on fox news trashing a 12 year old you just found out about and saying the 'evil' in him must've come from your side of the family. the 12 year old in question has just blown up a national monument. hera is threatening you at knife point in the emergency family meeting. you are begging your arch nemesis athena to defend this random 12 year old in court and she's refusing until she sees news footage of HER 12 year old daughter at the crime scene and frantically calls her baby daddy. conservatives that were already big mad about a powerful and rich family from another country being so entwined in american politics are having a fucking field day. you just wanted to run your silly little marine life passion project in peace.

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

apollo is live streaming the emergency family meeting and it's only fueling the media storm,

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

when percy's giving his 'here's gabe's phone number' interview at the end the reporter follows up with 'do you think your olympian family has done enough to protect you in this ordeal? why would they not publicly defend you and state your innocence? how close are you to your father?' and poor percy is just like. .what.

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

percy on live television finding out his dad is 1) alive 2) insanely rich and powerful and 3) has an evil father who just orchestrated percy's kidnapping despite literally no one knowing he existed prior to this

(and also 4) desperately trying to work out from context clues whether or not the cute girl he's been stuck with all month is his cousin or not)

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

poseidon frantically giving sally 12 years worth of child support and insisting he will always be there to Help from now on no matter what

like 3 days later he gets a call from percy who's like 'quick question how serious were you about that 'do anything for us' promise' (sally just murdered gabe and they don't know how to get rid of the body)

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

ooooh okay let's go:

1) Thalia wasn't in the camp she's been in a coma for years and in an act of desperation to get good press Zeus announces she's showing signs of waking up (she's not) (and it doesn't out shine the national manhunt at all) and then when she Actually wakes up a little over a year later the public doesn't believe the news at first bc of it. like they see the front page news about her miraculous recovery and the general public is like "what did Percy do this time"

2) the concept of Jason still getting raised by wolves- normal, non magical wolves this time- is KILLING ME!!! when he eventually gets discovered and rescued, Hera is his biggest supporter in helping him get readjusted to society and everyone is genuinely shocked that she's not Just doing it for good press

3) Hades actually takes custody of Nico and Bianca right away and it's not a big news story. when the press find out about HAZEL, HOWEVER,

4) Mr. D is still In The Family he's just cut off financially and out of the will and he literally does Fine for himself like he's rich in his own right between the strawberry wine vineyards and the camp he owns and runs. but every time he turns up to a family event he acts like he's a street beggar and has the hardest life imaginable. very 'woe is me I'm the only one of my siblings that can't afford TWO yachts' energy lmfao.

5) Kronos had Percy and Annabeth specifically kidnapped bc they were the two weakest spots in The Family- no one knew about Percy, so no one was protecting him, and while Annabeth grew up around the family because of her mom's job she wasn't Related to them and they never thought to extend any protection to her. Grover just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time bc he was tagging along on Percy and Sally's vacation and while Ares was okay with kidnapping and arson for his evil grandfather he decided to not be down for murder. this is why he never killed Percy's annoying ass during their cross country trip even when Percy kept fighting him and ruining his various bombing plans. AND he was mad as hell that Percy kept getting all the credit and being called the terrorist bc none of the reporters seemed to notice Ares was even there lmao

6) Annabeth was definitely missing for at least a week before Athena saw her on the news and Realized lmfao Frederick WAS trying to find her but he was more scared of telling Athena than he was for their daughter's safety

7) Amphitrite was mad about. well everything. but when she found out Sally murdered Gabe she was happy to help cover it up lmao she had a BLAST. she's like damn I married into such a shady family I can't believe I haven't had the opportunity to do this yet

8) Triton and Kym HATE Percy the beef is so immediate but Tyson adores him and Rhodes, who doesn't live at home, is nice when she stops by. Percy is literally more scared in this fuck ass family than he was when he was kidnapped lmao

9) Apollo keeps trying to get Percy to do an 'exclusive interview' with him and Poseidon keeps literally chasing him off

10) Zeus is never going to financially recover from this bullshit

[whispersinthetide]

Previous tags so good I had to include them

Oooh wait

Apollo is also well-known for having his own large gaggle of kids, over half of whom have died under crazy and/or mysterious circumstances in their teens. It was basically an open secret for a while that Zeus had one of them (Asclepius) murdered for whatever reason (maybe there was even an OJ-esque scandal and big public trial where he was acquitted on some flimsy grounds (OOH, maybe they even convicted the wrong guy, like how Apollo went after the Cyclopes instead of Zeus)), only for him to have turned up alive years later, and is now practicing medicine and generally avoiding most of the family.

The media is also particularly obsessed with the fact that Michael’s body was never found, and every so often, there’s a new storm of speculation that he’s still alive, often drawing comparisons to Asclepius (if this could happen once, who’s to say it can’t happen again?).

Artemis is widely speculated to be the leader of some sort of cult that’s gotten into its own shady shit (it’s just a women’s hunting club she swears). Thalia joins this club at some point (and the media goes wild), and now she takes every opportunity to be purposefully cryptic about what they do and how it’s definitely not a cult to troll everyone.

Will add if I think of more because this is hilarious

[hogoflight]

Thank you! Yeah! Big fan of Artemis manages a national park Where Her Companions Gather Normally And Nothing’s Going On. Apollo slamming down a massive lawsuit on some company (weapons company?) which gets people laid off instead of like. The murderer / Zeus’ hitman or something? is the first thing that came to mind. messy trial is such a good idea!

Fascinated by the twins’ visceral hatred for Orion in this context. Do they just beat the shit out of each other in public whenever they cross paths. Does Commodus get a Buzzfeed episode because he died twice like 20 years apart to Apollo strangling him. Does Caligula trying to absorb Apollo’s essence translate to cannibalism in this. Apollo and Meg only met each other through going on that Road Trip to kill the three evil CEOs. Does he just Appear with another child when reunited with his family after six months. Meg voice I found him in the dumpster. Is there a subreddit dedicated to collating random blurry photos taken of them scurrying through the cities they live in like cryptids because no one knows what the hell they’re doing. You understand me. So many Horrors to put him through

[hogoflight]

Second worst feeling ever. flood in your bones when you read your older posts about The Character and go ‘they wouldn’t say that’. I’ve failed you tremendously