[takemeinyrarmy]

I get my political commentary from aleksa solely bc he is hot and he has big pretty eyes

[cottagewhores]

[challengerschurroscene]

nobody can judge me harder for this than me

[hogwarts-quotes-probably]

Mother Figures

Sirius: Did you get my transfiguration essay?

McGonagall: Yes, I looked it over. Nice work.

Sirius: Good. Thanks, mom.

***A few seconds later***

Sirius: Why is everyone staring at me?

James: You just called Professor McGonagall ‘mom’; you said “Thanks, mom.”

Sirius: What? No, I didn’t. I said “Thanks, man.”

McGonagall: Do you see me as a mother figure, Mr. Black?

Sirius: No. If anything, I see you as a bother figure, ‘cause you’re always bothering me.

Remus: Hey, show your mother some respect!

Sirius: I didn’t call her ‘mom!’

***10 seconds of silence later***

McGonagall: Do you want to talk about it later over some biscuits?

Sirius, quietly: I’d like that...

[hogwarts-quotes-probably]

Apologies

James: Look, let’s just agree to say “I’m sorry,” on a count of three. One, two, three...

James and Lily: .........

James: See, now I’m just disappointed in the both of us.

[hogwarts-quotes-probably]

Rules

Harry: Rules are made to be broken!

Hermione: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.

Harry: Uh, pinatas.

Ron: Glow sticks.

Harry: Karate boards.

Ron: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.

[hogwarts-quotes-probably]

Sirius, when he ran away:

[hogwarts-quotes-probably]

Third Years vs Seventh Year James

Third year: Ha, ha, ha, ha, hey, look at that high waisted man. He got feminine hips.

James: No! That's the thing I'm sensitive about!

[hogwarts-quotes-probably]

Muggle Studies History Paper

Harry Potter, the kid who said Roonil Wazlib was his nickname: Ah yes, the trojan horse, or, as I like to call it, murderous pinata

[hogwarts-quotes-probably]

In terms of instant relief, canceling plans is like my heroin.

Remus, probably

[hogwarts-quotes-probably]

In the Great Hall at the Start of Term

Dumbledore: If you’ve ever doubted yourself, walk deep into any forest. Notice how the trees still stand even though they are given no recognition. Walk along any stream, the water still flows, though no one stops to praise it, Watch the stars late at night; they shine without acknowledgment, Witches and wizards are just the same. We are made out of the same elements as these beautiful wonders. Always remember your beauty and self-worth.

McGonagall: Don't do this, you’re going to get lost and die.

[hogwarts-quotes-probably]

I remember way too many small details about people so I have to act dumb sometimes so I don't freak them out.

Hermione, probably

[hogwarts-quotes-probably]

Valentine’s Day

Gryffindor: So what do you guys have planned for Valentine's day?

Slytherin: Murder

Hufflepuff: That’s the spirit

[hogwarts-quotes-probably]

In the middle of the night...

Neville: Do you think Voldemort was a virgin?

Harry: I saw him in his fifth year, he wasn’t a virgin.

Ron: Imagine being the chick to do the frick frack with the Dark Lord Voldy

Dean: Doing the do with You Know Who

[hogwarts-quotes-probably]

Tomatoes

Sirius: If I was trapped inside a room filled with explosives and the only way out was to eat a whole tomato I would probably die.

Peter and James:........

Remus: How the hell would you even get into that situation

[hogwarts-quotes-probably]

Sirius’ Plan

Sirius: James, why don't you just do the right thing and jump out a window? Dumbledore will never expel me if he knows I'm mourning the death of a close friend.