[holdmybychance]

update: I got sick right before our date but he was so sweet about it and re-planned the whole hangout so I could sit down more and enjoy my time even if I didn't feel good... He kept checking if I was okay but also distracted me and made me laugh.

It's the first time I don't feel like I'm too much around someone and unmasked a little, it's so liberating.

[blairwitchdiaries-deactivated20]

turns out my life purpose isn’t supposed to be as small and silent and accommodating and convenient as possible

[arstoryels]

Sometimes I mourn the Byler space this fandom could have had if people had just acted normal about it.

If people had accepted Will as the only canon queer character in the pair and respected his specific, queer story arc instead of trying to strip it down and hand it over to Mike. A ship not being canon doesn’t make it any less valid, rich, or fun—that’s literally what fanworks are for.

If people had just treated Byler as a normal shipping experience instead of turning it into a hyper-fixated, theory-filled crusade to prove it as a concrete "canon endgame." Imagine if all that energy had been redirected into reimagining Mike's queerness as a collective headcanon, built through fic and art, instead of trying to force its objective "canon" validity through 50-page manifestos.

I mourn that space. Maybe it would’ve been kinder to Will’s character. Maybe the shipwars wouldn't be half as toxic, and maybe Mileven shippers would've kept to themselves/would've been less antagonizing to the ship too. Or maybe they would’ve just faded out quietly by January, the way most het-ships naturally die down in fan spaces once the show ends.

And maybe—most importantly—Will's character wouldn't constantly be collateral damage caught in the middle of 24/7 hits from people hating on the byler shippers, or the homophobic hits from every side of the discourse.

I would've really liked to interact with a space like that, use it as an outlet to give Will all the happiness he deserved in the show. The truth is that byler has a very fun dynamic to explore, but the constant insistence of "but it should've been canon!!" gets very exhausting, very quick.

[hyeque]

i hope all mutuals who i never talk to are having a good day

[sawed-on-shotgun]

need a hat that says I WONT SPEAK UNLESS SPOKEN TO AND ITS NOT BECAUSE IM DISINTERESTED AND DONT LIKE YOU I JUST DONT UNDERSTAND SOCIAL INTERACTION AS WELL AS MOST PEOPLE AND ASSUME BY DEFAULT MY PRESENCE IS UNWELCOME AS A PRECAUTIONARY MEASURE SO I KEEP TO MYSELF BUT I DONT MIND IF YOU INITIATE so i can wear it to work

[ilovebylerandstonathan]

Never got the ga not finding Jonathan hot. Bc like have you seen Charlie heaton???? Hello?? Have you seen Jonathan in the show??? At very least on season 2??? Hello???? also like hes so caring. And that’s really hot.

Like that’s my actual man omfg.

[holdmybychance]

I got a date????for the first time in my life???oh my god???

[holdmybychance]

Kinda annoyed to see the way some people perceive conformity vs anti-conformity (from my perspective, at least).

By its definition, conformity is an "act of matching attitudes, beliefs, and behaviours to group norms, politics or being like-minded", a "behaviour that follows the usual standards that are expected by a group or society".

The things we consider to be the norms aren't necessarily bad in and of themselves. The problem is that it's often reinforced or imposed in ways that harm people and stop them from being their true self.

You could argue that Will going to a party is him "conforming" to social norms, because partying is a normal, almost expected part of being a typical teenager, but it's only a problem if you make Will want to do it solely for the purpose of hiding himself or fitting in.

If Will goes to a party because he wants to, I don't see how it's an issue, nor how it's supposedly erasing the non-conforming parts of him. There's nothing inherently "wrong" with partying, it doesn't magically erase your nerdiness and turns you into a popular, socially conforming guy.

People are layered. In some ways they're going to fit in the norms, in others they're going to stand out or be marginalised. And a single action cannot define an entire person.

I don't really see the point of not "allowing" a character to do something just because it's not anti-conformist. It's kinda like how Eddie said Lucas "joined the dark side" by playing basketball in high school. You're basically restricting characters to only be one thing (in this case, against the norms), which is the same rigid mindset people who forces others to conform have. How is that any better?

And assuming someone who likes sports/is a jock or who likes partying cannot be anti-conformist in any aspect of their lives is also a weird take in my opinion. It has the same vibes as the duffers making every jocks into stupid bullies while the nerds just have to be the good guys just because they're nerds. It's too white and black for me.

[neuroticpavlovsdog]

“I asked chat gpt” well I asked Chance and he just stood there and looked longingly at Will

[ziggythewize]

Rip Jane Hopper, you deserved so much better

I miss you and I hope that your ok

[holdmybychance]

I don't know if it's because I'm autistic (probably), but I have zero framework when it comes to how much I should say or how people will interpret my words.

Like, sometimes, I just honestly compliment someone and they take it as flirting (it's not).

Even when I am a little interested in someone, I guess I say things that people interpret as "something you can only say when you're at the dating/married to that person stage", when for me it's just...not neutral, per say, but definitely not as intense or extreme as one might assume.

Sorry for enjoying the use of metaphors and being honest, I guess?

[willbyersabyss]

realistically… a will was never found au would also include eating demogorgons, vines, and possibly cannibalism of some sort… OR or vecna kidnapping animals for will to eat. will having food issues when he comes back…

[64mpg]

it is actually so important to me to be alone at my house

[docholligay]

Possibly my spiciest take is that it's actually good to have people you respect and like that have some dogshit takes.

I think part of what is making young people lonelier, in discussing why they're increasingly isolated, is that they're so afraid of meeting someone who doesn't hold their same beliefs, and instead of being just core beliefs it is kinda ancillary shit.

It's actually okay to disagree even on social topics! Even on some political ones! But I mean, online you can start with "i love this mutual but they have a really bad/uninformed opinion about x media"

I know this is IMMEDIATELY going to be taken in bad faith, and yes babygirl, you are so right, I DO want you to go make best friends with both the KKK grand wizard AND your nearest nazi leader.

But seriously, as someone who has spent two decades doing community organization: finding ways to connect with different people is so so so important. There are people i follow here who ate 80% smart and their brain falls out of their head 20% of the time and that is GOOD FOR MY MENTAL ECOSYSTEM AND GOOD FOR LEARNING HOW TO BE A PERSON

LET'S ALL GO PISS ON THE POOR

[mikkeneko]

[notaplaceofhonour]

It’s also good to assume you probably are the friend whose brain falls out 20% of the time.

We all have blind spots, assumptions, and dogshit take from time to time. They can’t all be winners.

[peanutgallerymemes]

vicious cycle fr 😔😤

[argumate]

instead of "people pleaser" it might be better to think "disapproval fearer" if that's the emotional stick that's motivating action; important to consider at least three reasons to do something:

it's a good thing to do

I want to do the thing

people will be mad if I don't do the thing

and if 3. is the most weighty reason then that's a potential problem.

[wifegideonnav]

gonna be honest i don’t know how many more ‘enter the 6 digit code we sent to your phone’s i got left in me