3 Small Ravens In A Trench Coat

Hi my name is Lauren and I think too much about sex, love, and death. 26 || bi as hell || she/they || IX.XIII.MMXXII

[miseducatedmelanicmuse]

[dsmsix]

[glowcowboy]

ohhhh i get it now. the little seed of loneliness i’ve carried with me since i was five will never go away

[velvetys]

Everything used to be 20 dollars and now that I finally have 20 dollars everything is now 200 dollars

[grunkypeep]

i hate when men complain about women’s body hair, even like the fine hair on their backs. go fuck a shark if you wanna have sex with something hairless

[cannedviennasnausage]

#shark skin is actually covered in tiny barbs #aka teeth #they are literally a swimming tooth

I suddenly have the urge to grate cheese on a great white

[flanoirbunny]

wouldn’t that make the shark a

grate white

[shutupandtalkgeekytome]

This post got weird

[jennytrout]

This post started with fucking hairless sharks. Weird wasn’t a destination so much as a jumping off point.

[captainclickycat]

I’ve never been so surprised not to encounter the word “smooth” in a text post

[goodnightngoth]

me: sorry i’ve been busy

me for the last hours:

[storm-of-feathers]

a severe thunderstorm warning that doesnt follow through is worse than orgasm denial

[hersacreddivinity]

[hazard-symbols-that-fuck-hard]

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[elizabethsinclair]

phone addiction is absurd bc it’s like ah yes perhaps one more visit to the rectangle of no enrichment or fulfillment will finally enrich and fulfill me

[harkamal]

I like finding out what people my age and older had as their first cell phone. Anybody younger and their answer is a generic Android or iPhone. Phones from the 2000s were some wacky device like the sidekick or samsung x83 or lg env2

My first phone was a nokia 1112 in 2008

[pronouncingitwang]

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

[yokowan]

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

[le-jardin-inculte]

at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly

[shithowdy]

at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.

[whitachi]

at some point in your life you will be adding a small pasta to a soup and you will think "that is not enough small pasta." this is the devil talking. the pasta will absorb the stock and expand. this is how you end up with a soup that is a solid mass of soggy ditalini.

[araceil]

At some point in your life you will be adding garlic to a dish and you will think "that is not enough garlic." These are angels speaking. They are correct. Add more garlic.

[museumticket]

me on an average day: i need a treat

me on a bad day: i need a deluxe treat

[shadeslayer]

overdraft fee is crazy like bro you literally know i dont have the money

[freakoutgirl]

is it normal to want to cry at this image

[autistobrat]

*seductively takes off glasses* wow you're fucking blurry